So this week has been very interesting in many ways, and I’ve had new experiences that left me curious.
I know I’ve been feeling the man from my last 4 years, but I also had a dream that he was dieing, which is not the first time that’s happened. At one point, last September/October, I thought I was getting messages from god that he had committed suicide and it happened right after a very intense energetic experience of him. So I’ve literally been on the fence as to whether the lack of communication was because he was choosing not to, or because he was now deceased. I will never know if I never hear from him, especially since I knew he had been catfishing me and lieing to me. I have no evidence that the name I know him by is even his real name, and the details I know of him could apply to millions of people. Yet I do still feel him, so regardless if he is deceased, I’m certain he’s helping me somehow. He is a manifestation of my Divine Masculine, and if deceased there will eventually be a replacement that will manifest, and for now I continue in confused curiosity.
The confusion being because there was one evening this week where I heard someone tell him “you’ve got to tell her” and his response to them was an anxious “I know, but can’t, not yet”. That evening was filled with very intense mixed emotions like he was having a very involved conversation about me with another person. It was strange because I felt him as usual, but it was like I was feeling the others as well. That was new, and didn’t mesh with the possibility of him being deceased.
I’ve also had other experiences that the best decription I have is my Reiki energy centers turn on very strongly and it’s like a very loving person attempted to enter into my body. The first time was just my arms and feet. 2nd time was most of my arms and legs. And then this morning for a brief moment of my twilight waking, it was my entire body.
I was curious so I did a YouTube search to learn more. I only ended up watching 2 videos because they ended up answering all the questions I had at the moment.
The first was: https://youtu.be/PF_xgBSBdXA
The second was: https://youtu.be/DydmYKWVwXA
The first video made me realize that I have channeled in multiple ways and very different situations. I frequently find that his decriptions fit when I’m working doing massages and also often when I really get into my artwork or writing. However, I realized that occasionally I find moments like he described when I dance or play music, and definitely did when I gave the veterans day presentation last November. I was channeling without knowing what it was. *Hmmm.*
So then, I watched video number two and she focused on more of what I thought channeling was, which is just one type of channeling. Her descriptions seemed to fit what’s been happening this week more.
This has translated into a knowing that I am essentially expanding my gifts to a broader application. To what end I’m not sure. I have no idea what the end result will be of that Higher Divinity taking over my body, but so far I know I feel much better after each instance. It’s like it literally rejuvenates my body and that alone I know is providing me healing moments. I look forward to the improved health I’ll experience as these moments accumulate.
The other thing I am noticing from this, is a hugely increased energy for my daily activities, and the fall off the guy talked about does occur. Every time I quit moving I get cold and at the end-of-the-day drive-home I get super heavy and groggy. I have finally found a reason to have genuine gratitude over sharing a car. The built in chauffeur aspect has been very important this week.
I will continue to hold myself in open confused curiosity and wait for what my near future holds.
May you all have moments of curiosity with greater expansion and new skills and awareness.
As above, so below, so mote it be. Siva Hir Su.