Tag Archives: choice

New Perspective

My quote from Abraham this morning comes on the heels of a discussion with Nathan about how I’m changing my perspective on food.

“When you are in vibrational harmony, your body produces whatever it needs to remain in perfect balance.”

-Excerpted from Boston, MA on 10/20/96
Our Love,

Esther
(and Abraham and Jerry)

So the discussion was last night, and essentially I explained that I had been noticing a trend where people in general, but especially younger people- babies and children, are experiencing the same patterns I have with food.

I have also noted many people talking about a shift happening in humanity. Often from different perspectives and on different topics (politics, socio-economic, healing, diet, etc ).

Putting two and two together, my theory and change in perspective has broken down to the following.

Making the assumption that the shift is real, and pervades all areas of our lives, one would have to acknowledge that mankind is changing. Abraham states that forward momentum is to higher vibrations. So human kind as a whole is shifting to a higher vibration.

Food Allergies then could be interpreted as the resistance against mooving towards that higher vibration with diet and healing. It is the result of being more sensitive to the energy and vibration that food carries. If your body has already acknowledged that it wants to keep up with the shift, and knows what level of vibration that equals, then it is going to really push back every time you give it anything less than what is desired. Thus, you become “allergic” to lower vibrating foods.

Now what:

So then one (especially Myself) must admit the dissonance and focus on the solution. In my case with food, that has become repeatedly acknowledging that I am now hyper sensitive to foods and my body only wants the highest vibrating foods in just enough quantities to sustain myself.

Once I allowed myself to keep up with me, and focus on that repetition, it’s as if the battle is not as hard. My body is beginning to shed toxins and inflammation is backing off, I’m feeling much better physically. It has also made sticking to my regimen easier to stomach, so to speak (double entendre intentional).

I am back to my nibble of super healthy food every couple of hours. Nuts, apples, pears, lean plain meats- mostly fish or chicken, and far more salads in my experience with the deep dark greens.

I’m also referencing being very sensitive to foods now, instead of talking about my allergies or being allergic. I just say I’m very sensitive to foods and so I’m extra careful most of the time in choosing what I eat.

The Fall:

Now, that has not eliminated the social environments where food is provided and heavily encouraged by others. Anya’s birthday last week was a good example. However, my new perspective has still helped. Essentially, I apologized to my body in advance and explained to myself that one meal was not going to kill me, that I did enjoy the tastes of the food, and social atmosphere and supporting Anya. I also spoke to my body, stating that I know I’m capable of eliminating the toxins. I talked myself though reducing the reaction and speeding up the corrective process.

Additionally, I reinforced for myself that I know if I were more in control of the moment I would have chosen an alternate option for the meal, but I was conceding to another’s choice and control because I wanted her to enjoy her birthday- it was her day of honor however she would choose. That was solely due to how much I care for her, and is something I’ve gotten more selective over as well. Not just anyone gets to persuade me to make low vibration food choices anymore.

I also took extra allergy medicine preemptively to help with reducing my experience of the reaction. It all helped, it did not eliminate the reaction, but did significantly improve it in terms of duration and severity.

After the fact, I told myself it’s not a lifestyle that I want to live, so better choices are definitely better. However, it was manageable and I do have the tools and information to make the climb back up the health ladder to vibrate higher again more quickly.

I definitely did not enjoy the aftermath, I did however enjoy the meal itself (sans my son’s antics) and also enjoyed knowing that I accomplished the correction quickly and easily. 1 step backwards, but 2 steps forward this time. That I like as well.

So, my new perspective brought some peace of mind and acknowledgement that I myself am improving and heading toward higher vibrations. I’m allowing me keep up with ME more. That feels really good.

On a side-note update:

My dreams of giving birth and dieing have subsided. Hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20, and I realized it was solely because of the activities job. The last 2 days there I kept telling myself, not my baby anymore, because the trainee had done things in an odd way. I realized that I had given so much of myself to that position that I literally felt like I was losing myself and my baby.

Having cleared the other side, I’m still intact. I’m still me, and I still have my dream of Atira. One day I will discover my solution to build Atira and keep myself healthy and keep my family cared for. For now, I am still helping that surrogate baby by filling in on paperwork and calendar tasks. I still walk away with a much fuller knowledge of the workings of a community that size. I still have improved myself and gained knowledge. Now I can relax a bit and recuperate and heal the damage from the stress and my diet during that period.

I am supported by the universe and I am safe. And twice this week I’ve been told by different sources that Archangel Michael is watching over me to ensure that stays true. I take that validation with a huge Thank You to the Divine. I’m very appreciative that things are still improving and that I have evidence of support from the universe.

Hogwash & fiddlesticks, I want to feel good.

So my last post was pure livid anger, and for good reason. But as I’m learning, that Shit is how I spent 20+ years stuck in a depression loop. So damn it, I want to feel good.

That means I must look for what I like, for things I want, for improvement, for solutions, and for love.

It’s hard to do that when you’re so pissed off.

I’m discovering it’s even hard when you’re simply in constant motion. I’m essentially back to work 7 days a week, and when I get confirmation on hours from the building I do activities for, I’ll probably have a total of 3 days off in September. I make it work, and make the best of it, but transition has been difficult for my mental puzzle again. The result has been that I was gifted 2 illnesses (1 digestive, 1 head cold) from my family, since my vibration has been all over the place. I swear I’ve been sick more since thanksgiving than I had been the previous 5 years, and the only thing that’s changed is my intense desire and efforts to produce more income and higher vibration.

It leaves me acknowledging that my negative lapses are manifesting fairly immediately, and being that they’re small and manageable is a fairly good sign. It means that my positive efforts are building steam, which I already knew from the increase in hours and income, but I suppose validation from both sides of the equation is a good thing, a helpful measure so to speak.

So, my 2 ended train is finally moving in the direction I want, albeit slowly. But if I have learned well enough, it means I just need to keep at it to get some good momentum going.

More practice; practice makes perfect.

That’s a sentiment I’ve proven to myself many times over, especially with music and art.

So, since I’m already tired, super draggy, and stuffy headed, having trouble focusing, I thought I better write since it forces me to focus.

This week (or 2?) started with good validations. At one point I had an epiphany (very personal about my childhood “imaginary” friend) I simply asked mentally that if my thoughts were accurate to show me a green & purple dragon (thinking of the puff the magic dragon song). The next day at work there was a bouquet of green and purple flowers that were placed such as to remind me of a scaly dragon head. They were in a residents’ room and she was reading a “song of Solomon” about where someone’s love had gone. I knew it was my validation instantly and nearly cried telling her she was my message from god. Yet since that day I’ve seen nearly a dozen more green and purple dragons.

One of the last ones: I was drawn to stop at a favorite store of mine, but didn’t know why, seeing as I didn’t have any extra cash available for spending fun. While there I thanked the owner for support she gave years ago when Nathan was ill, she said she needed that, and I knew that was part of my visit, but something else was nagging me. I browsed a bit and ultimately discovered my message:

A Shiva statue priced with my birth year, and my dragon request on a singular box of incense. Next to 2 other incense boxes that were one of a kind. I know because it was such an intense set that I looked through the whole wall of incense to see if someone had just misplaced them. No, no matches were to be found, they were the last ones available.

I simply could not resist and bought the incense, knowing I’ll ultimately have to go back for the statue at some point soon. Resistance is futile. You don’t say no to the universe, but it’ll have to wait until payday.

The point of all of this is, I’m definitely getting messages, and they all feel really good. I like that. I love being validated and feeling supported. My only hiccup is in understanding. As in, I only asked for one dragon, and the first was good enough for me. So why then, give me a dozen more, one of which was the exact thought I had- a green & purple- puff the magic dragon?

Does the quantity and repetition equal someone screaming “yes!” from the other side? And if so, I’d think it would start manifesting, like now. I’m going to tell myself that’s the case and see how things unfold.

I have been feeling intense anticipation for some while now, but have difficulty maintaining focus on just that. It makes me all jittery, and ultimately I end up getting distracted by daily interactions. Yet, I suppose that’s the practice makes perfect element.

So, I think about what I want, and possible ways it could happen, and I do my best to make sense of other messages I see. Like I still want to end up in Colorado with a big dome full of people that love me enough to commit to being family. I know who I’d like that to include, but right now I still don’t have any idea how, and I’m doing my best to ignore roadblocks and deadlines in the way of that. I keep reminding myself that the divine can ultimately solve everything in proper timing, even if 60 days seems like a tight squeeze to me, and there’s probably a dozen options I can’t even fathom.

I think of all the other close calls I’ve had and how everything always worked out. God has my back and always keeps me safe. Usually I’m the one that gets in my own way of that, and this time I intend to be a cooperative element helping things flow smoothly.

To that end I even let myself go down a small ego-trip road with how lucky I am to have multiple people that care about me. People that care and help more than my own blood realitives (exception being my parents). It helps me see my good. I thought about my strengths and good qualities, and admitted that even my weaknesses could be worse. I appreciated myself a bit and acknowledged there’s a reason others care. I like knowing that, it helps me see how to love myself. I am a good person and I will get to do great things for this world yet. Of that I’m certain. I know that I must hang in and keep practicing this, and even if I have a few more muggle based action steps to enable myself to practice allowing, at some point soon I will get good at manifesting exactly what I want.

When I do- watch out, because I could end up being the next Oprah/Ellen. Not saying I want to be on TV, I really don’t, I just like how they inspire others and help so many people. Yeah, I want that part, and can totally skip the being on TV.

So this ended up being rambly and all over the place, probably due to that being sick difficulty focusing thing. I apologize for that, but I’m glad you hung in there with me. If I can climb out of decades of depression, and overcome livid anger in a few days, you can too. May we all make a better world by starting with ourselves. A single drop creates ripples in the whole lake.

Spider web screams to personality traits on the day of “freedom”.

Happy fourth everyone.

My day started with molting in the shower. I’m losing hair at an alarming rate, my one shower created a golf ball sized wad, and my mood is as unstable as ever. Both things happened after Ian’s birth, and I attributed them to the thyroid crash knowing that both are commonly experienced in thyroid malfunction. However this time, even if my thyroid itself is struggling, I have enough medication in my system to override symptoms. So I have no idea why I’m having said symptoms except that it must be postpartum hormones. If only it wasn’t such an ordeal and expense to figure out the exact mechanism at play. For now I’ll continue to muddle through.

Otherwise, my holiday started with a couple of hours of work, fortunately close by. As Nathan always does he walked me out carrying my drinks. He put my drinks in the car via the passenger side, and I walked around the car to get in. As I sat down I found myself directly in the middle of a large spider web and the spider dropped down beside me into the floor-board. I leapt out of the car screaming and brushing my arm and shoulder off. As I told Nathan what happened I found the offensive spider and smashed it. (The biggest reason why I could never commit to Buddhism: I have a rule with spiders that if I can see and reach them they die.)

I exclaimed “Why didn’t you tell me it was there!”. He said he didn’t see it, and I continued with “But you get upset because I assume you can’t see your son’s yogurt splatters on tan carpet!” He then pointed out the irony of sitting in a web, and how spiders are supposed to have a link to communication and messages, like “Charlotte’s Web” (though it goes back much further in history to Native lore). I exclaimed I know, I’ve had proverbial “spiders sitting down beside” me all week. This wasn’t the first, I’m not sure it was even the fifteenth in a little over a week. Only I’m not Miss Muffit or PIG, and I’ve got no idea WTF they’re trying to tell me.

So I left for work with a sigh and adrenaline jitters.

My first bit (massage) went well, and when I showed up for my second stretch (non-massage) I discovered it would be much shorter than expected. So, I passed the shorter time taking a personality test that Hannah had requested. She explained to me that she likes figuring things out like interpersonal relationships and interactions, and sees how Myers-Briggs helps with that. So I willingly obliged.

The result was that I’m an INFJ (-T). After reading all the info about that type, it’s strengths and weaknesses, and how it reacts to stress, I can say I agree it fits me well. There does seem to be a few minor qualities that are not exact, but I tend to feel that way about most labels. They’re mostly accurate, but everyone is still an individual regardless of their labels. Labels are merely guidelines.

As far as INFJ goes for me, I only procrastinate on things assigned to me by others. If it’s my own doing I rarely put it off, but will still exhaust myself to ensure completion. Additionally, I find a bit more balance between emotional response and rationalization than is implied, unless stress is a factor (like my postpartum struggle). However, Overwhelment for me usually only occurs when I feel things are not flowing properly or moving fast enough. Also, I tend to lack tact in giving others my honest opinion, and thus don’t always give their emotional response due diligence. Finally, I have worked very hard over the years to become less introverted and more extroverted, so I tend to fall nearly in the middle on that factor, constantly trying to balance the value of social environments with my need for solitude.

So, all of those elements do play important roles in my personality, but with slight tweaks. Otherwise, yes, everything else I read on INFJ personality type pretty well hits the nail on the head.

….

Hannah had suggested that my quest to fix my brain and emotional outbursts is less about being broken and more about it’s just part of my personality. It seems from what I’ve read she may be right. However, those elements were listed as weaknesses, and isn’t part of our humanity to acknowledge our weaknesses and aim to improve them, even if ever so slightly?

I remember a conversation with Nathan’s Ex’s brother years ago, where we agreed whole heartedly on that sentiment. He believed that humanity as a whole was shifting perceptions by gradually changing things in just that way. Each generation essentially taking baby steps to improve what was perceived as a negative from the previous generation.

For me those are my most negative qualities or weaknesses, those are the less than desirable traits that I learned from my parents. So part of my personality or not, I still aim to improve upon them or fix them. There is no reason my children should have to endure the worst of me to just create another generation of repeat. If I can improve enough, then I can break at least one negative cycle, and enable my children to experience better states of being. That’s my goal, and if I can figure out something that then helps others along the way then I’ve really won my own battle, regardless of how treacherous the journey was. Because I really do reach for helping the world be a better place for everyone, not just me, not just my family. I do intensely desire to help makes the world a better place.

Because, for me that is true freedom. To be able to create a new and better world to live in and enable our children to do the same. That is freedom.

Freedom is not a government making rules to turn around and change their minds every couple of years. Freedom is not inflated egos telling others what to do and yelling “because I said so and I can”, and then getting defensive over negative reactions…

Freedom is the right to choose, To choose better, To choose improvement, and to allow others to do the same whether you agree with their choices or not. I celebrate true freedom on this fourth, and mark another notch on my path to my own freedom.

May you all have a moment of recognition of that on this fourth.

Giving in sometimes equals happiness.

So last update I was stressing so much that I accidentally took a nail to the finger. I’m happy to report it’s healed perfectly and is barely noticeable.

To that end Nathan & Hannah made strides to complete things, & got everything close enough that I was able to conceed that the rest could be done at a later date.

Ian’s room at that point looked like this:

Essentially all that is left is part of the window trim, the one panel at the end of the furnace, trimming a few carpet squares, and finishing his furniture arrangement.

At that point I knew baby was ready for me to be ready, so I pushed to prep for birth. We put a rug on top of Ian’s carpet square floor for extra padding, tarps to keep water off the rug, and set up the birth tub & supplies. That was Friday night, & this was the results:

We covered the tub with blankets & construction scraps because Buddy Cat wanted to play on/in it and we were afraid he’d pop it.

We casted my belly for memories (Ian’s was a duct tape cast the didn’t last, so this one we used plaster) and I did some henna (wanted to do more, but ran out of time & energy):

Saturday brought much pelvic discomfort & baby pushing lower.

Sunday morning at work early labor/ Braxton-Hicks contractions started & remained through out the day, never getting regular, & intensity being mild.

Sunday evening I headed straight home from work skipping my evening massage client, and I’m glad I did. About 6:30pm I sneezed and my water broke.

Ian’s water didn’t break until right before he was born, so it took a conversation with the midwife and another BH contraction to know for sure that’s what happened. I asked if I should do anything to encourage real contractions and she said no, since I’d worked all day it was better to rest and that contractions would come on their own.

She was right, by 8pm they were increasing in strength and about 8 min apart, and by 9pm my plug turned loose.

A little after midnight they got into the 4 min apart range, & my midwife & her assistant arrived shortly after. Baby was doing fine and I was allowed to get in the tub. Somewhere around 1:30am I began dozing off in between contractions, & my pace slowed. A contraction around 2am woke me and I realized I was cold & very tired. Everyone helped me out of the tub & got me dried & warmed up. They checked my progress and discovered I was only dilated to about 4cm, a long ways to go. I told them I was sure it was because baby knew I was so tired. My midwife agreed and I was put to bed with a disclaimer to sleep as much as possible and to let her know when they picked up again.

Contractions spaced about 15 to 20 min apart for the rest of the night and into the morning. I slept in the gaps until about 11am, and Hannah made calls for my massage work on Monday and Tuesday letting them know I was in labor.

By 4pm I was able to eat enough to regain strength & stamina & contractions had again gotten to 4 min apart. We let the midwife know & her, assistant, and student headed over. The assistant was first to arrive and noted that I was doing great, took heart beat of baby and noted she was also going great. The assistant started prepping for birth organizing supplies as desired, and double checking everything was present & good to go. By the time midwife & student arrived I was in the final stretch. Contractions were closer together and super intense. Shortly after I noted that I could feel baby’s head working out. They asked me to differentiate between inner cervix and vaginal wall, and I specified cervix. About 4 contractions later I could feel head beginning to exit and reached down to feel baby’s hair and help stretch myself to ease baby’s head out. It took 3 more very intense pushes to get her head all the way out, and 2 more very intense pushes to get body out.

Baby was born & perfect… 8lbs 10oz. That’s 12 oz more than Ian- to be expected with the first & third trimester hormone/allergy induced high sugar battles. A few seconds of cool air out of the water & she coughed and fussed and began turning pink. All was well.

Dad didn’t get into the tub until baby was born, so he could hold baby in the warm water and help cut the cord. He put swim trunks on, so when it was time to get out, he was first to get out & work on drying off. Then he helped hold baby while I stopped at the potty & got comfy in bed.

Midwives checked me & baby out. I had no tears or significant abrasions, my blood pressure, temp, and oxygen were good. Baby was perfectly healthy per visual inspection, & good oxygen saturation. They’ll be back in 2 days for heart, heal prick blood test, and hearing test and follow up check, & birth certificate delivery.

For now, lots of snuggles in bed and nursing, & loves. No one has to go anywhere or do anything except eat, sleep, & rest.

Labor was longer than with Ian, and a bit more discomfort (probably because of her slightly larger size), but completely worth every minute of it. She’s beautiful and perfect and I couldn’t ask for more. Welcome to the world my little pure light, Katherine Jyoti.

I’m definitely in post birth bliss & everyone that’s seen her has gotten mushy & teary eyed. Now to let grandparents and everyone else know- 1 at a time. *Happy sigh*

Here we go; inbound.

Those words met my vision this morning right before a message dinged up on my phone reading “God Bless You”.

Very  synchronistic, no?

It’s definitely been another day of seeing the illusion and more immediate manifestations.

There was a short conversation about officers, and within 2 hours both Nathan & I experienced a “flow” of more officers in our awareness than usual.  Nothing bad, but I saw the vibrational cause & effect.

Nathan’s message was that we’re in pahase 2: expectation. Essentially, we’ve got the basics and we’re leveling up. Needing to work on positive expectation that things go easily and smoothly. I can do that, practice makes perfect.

So then I’m at work, and I started with “everything will go smoothly & I’ll be done by dinner time”.  Sure enough,  it’s 4pm & I’m done with hands on stuff.  Going to invoice a bit & head either to the gym or home (depending on the flow at the  end of invoicing).

I’m really feeling the “go with the flow”. It’s a little scary to me, because especially today that’s meant not much of the old paradigm (work=money). But somehow I strangely feel calm and peaceful that it’s perfectly ok,  and that’s what was supposed to happen. I reminded myself that I asked for divine help and guidance months ago,  and that listening and doing what I’m asked/shown to, is what is needed. If I expect to allow a miracle intervention,  I do indeed need to get out of the way and allow the flow of that- which apparently includes expecting good things regardless of the activities in front of me.

So, to invoice,  whilst I think thoughts of the universe supporting me and solving problems I didn’t even know I had, providing financial flow which is really good,  and maybe even increasing our savings. Mmmm good. 

Trust Issues

I have a good friend that is from a scientific background, and married to a scientist. Recently we had a long conversation centering around the vaccine debate, but ultimately discussing frustrations regarding science and the medical establishment and government and big business influences. I feel that the conversation was very helpful for our very differing opinions to find an outlet, so I wanted to share some of the concepts that we had discussed. I’m going to try and keep the concepts in a logical order, but apologize if I end up jumping around a bit

My friends biggest concern for the arguments of either side seemed to center around the general population using the term believe or belief in regards to scientific information. Her statement simply is that science is called science for a reason. There are very set regulations, processes, and huge amounts of red-tape involved in making a scientific statement such as: this pill solves X problem. Scientists have to follow rigorous testing, under very strict guidelines, over years, and the studies have to be repeatable to be considered good science. So in her mind, belief should never enter into the equation. Whatever is in question has passed all of the guidelines, standards and is repeatable so it is valid. Period.

I pointed out however, that science changes it mind quite regularly. Eggs were bad, then good, then bad again. Salt was bad, and now science says maybe not. The earth was flat and now it is round. Our solar system models went through several changes. Energy has had several  models. Even discussions on, and models of, the basic atom have undergone changes over time as our ability to discern things and our equipment have improved. So from a layperson’s perspective I can completely understand how someone would use the word belief. Really what the average Joe is saying is: Should I trust this information, if I go with this information, whose to say you won’t turn around in 5 or 10 years and tell me the opposite.” Really that is more a matter of trust than belief; but isn’t trust inherent in belief?

Now, granted, the processes have remained essentially the same. What has changed is our technology and equipment that we use for testing the myriad of things there are to test. As technology and equipment has improved, it is able to measure more accurately and we’ve been able to narrow results down further and sometimes more accurate results do mean that previous concepts need to be revised or adjusted. It just is, science is an evolving art of trying to put concrete data to the world around us.

So essentially the Average Joe has to trust that we have the best knowledge at this time using the current technology that we have to study with.

We also discussed how diet and nutrition are so complex that even when Science has done it’s level best to study the effects of one particular aspect of that, it is nearly impossible to account for every variable involved. Study participants can fudge their accounts of diet, often recording inaccurate quantities, calories, ingredients, and so on. Study participants can forget to mention that they are taking some supplement or over the counter medication, so then we have no idea the role that forgotten item played. So again we are relying on the best information that we have at that time. And again that can affect whether or not someone is willing to believe or trust that information.

I think really it boils down to semantics here. The scientist mind says data currently shows this so it’s as accurate as it gets,  no reason to believe otherwise.  The layperson mind says well they’ve changed their statements before, who says they won’t on this too. It’s really a matter of perspective.

The you add in government and big business and perspectives of the medical establishment.

Lets start with the latter. My friend pointed out that she does not consider doctors scientists. In her words they study enough science to know what they are doing, but by no means bother to study everything. She pointed out that a working doctor simply would not have time to read every bit of research, look at all the individual data, and make their own decisions. They don’t have the capacity so they have to rely on what scientific institutions tell them. Now with that being said, she agreed that that reasoning is precisely why individual patients have the right to choose  (it’s one of the few things we completely 100% agreed upon). If a doctor can’t possibly know all of the in’s and out’s, can’t foresee how your family and genetics might react to something, or a latent health problem that you don’t even know about yet, then you should have a choice. She continued that where California has,  and other states are trying to take away exemptions, it will ultimately fail. She believes that at some point, someone will have an injury and take the laws to court and it will be repealed by the time it hits supreme court. I personally hope her faith in the judicial system is correct.

I say this because we did discuss how there may be genetic components to reactions to drugs or vaccines. Yet we still do not have the tools to do a blood test and determine if this might be why some people are being damaged by vaccines or drugs. We discussed how unknown personal situations (for example someone not knowing that they have mild damage to their intestinal wall [leaky gut]) might lead to adverse reactions or vaccine/drug injuries. Yet we do not have a solid set of testing to run people through to determine if that might be a factor, or at least testing that would be covered for every person that requests it. We simply don’t have a way to determine if one individual sitting in a doctor’s office might react to a commonly accepted as good injection.

I pointed out further, that beyond that, doctor’s are not even given information on the toxicity of known ingredients in vaccines. For instance many vaccines contain aluminum. It it is a metal that is able to trigger immune response, so it is helpful for it to be in vaccines. However, if your body gets too much at once it can cause liver damage and even brain damage. Even prolonged low doses of aluminum have been shown to contribute to Alzheimer’s, which is why aluminum cookware and cans are required to be coated to avoid people from having brain damage from the repeated long term exposure. Yet doctors do not understand or have the knowledge of how to adjust dosages to avoid that. If an infant is due to receive a vaccine, they are given the same dose based on their age as any other child of that age. Yet aluminum toxicity is based upon blood volume which is directly in proportion to the infant’s weight. So your underweight preemie is given the same does as the well fed plump munchkin, and thus the underweight child is likely to suffer adverse effects.

So yet again there are factors at play that doctors are not able, or not willing to adjust for, yet doctors want to play God and demand that everyone get the same vaccines at the same dosage at the same time; and the state governments are bent on backing the doctors instead of their constituents.

Now why is that?

Science is convinced that vaccines are the sole responsibility for eliminating disease. My friend believes this wholeheartedly. She pointed out small pox and that  it’s been eradicated due to vaccines. I said that it may have been a major factor, but that I was not convinced. We as a greater society have come up with a myriad of ways to affect and kill disease. Running water, plumbing, sewage treatment (even as simple as outhouses- separating feces from our living spaces prevented much disease by itself), soaps, personal protection devices such as gloves and masks, chemicals that kill pests that carry the disease, chemicals that kill the disease itself (Malaria was greatly reduced with mosquito sprays and mosquito netting, and even today if someone becomes ill with Malaria they are no longer likely to die because of greater ability to treat the symptoms). These were all factors that helped prevent the spread of disease and kill disease where it stands.

Beyond that I’m not convinced that diseases that were “eradicated” actually were. I remember only about 5 years ago there was a disease in  California that was acting strangely like polio. Some people died. They managed to contain the disease and eventually there were no new reinfections. Yet they never admitted that it was polio because the actual virus didn’t look like polio. However, they never admitted it was a mutation either. That’s the problem with diseases. They are just like every other organism on the planet. They want to survive and will do whatever it takes to do so, especially including mutation. So that may have very well been a mutated polio virus. So where were your vaccines then. If the virus has mutated then the old vaccines are ineffective.

It is precisely why the flu vaccine is rarely effective, even though they push it year after year. There are now 4 types of Flu A, B, C, and in 2012 D was discovered. Just Type A has 198 strains based upon the proteins found on them. (CDC info- might be accurate).  Good luck finding numbers on Type B, but the CDC will tell you that they based Type B classification on lineages and strains. Type C fortunately is newer and only has one known strain. & Type D being brand new only has one known strain. …. Yet the vaccine only covers one version of Type A and one version of Type B. They literally guess the previous year as to which one they think will be most prevalent the following year. Now I am certain they have some kind of data to guide that guess, but it is still an educated guess. The claims are that regardless of which strains they use, you will still be covered and if you get sick it will be less severe.

I work in the medical environment and because I am a contractor I am exempt from getting the vaccine, and I take advantage of that and avoid it. I’ve been sick from flu like symptoms twice in the last 5 years, and both times CDIF was going around the nursing home. CDIF is not the flu but many of the symptoms are similar.  SO, I honestly couldn’t tell you if I had CDIF or Flu. I just stayed home for a week and was better. Yet, every year the nurses and aids and other staff are required to get the flu vaccine, and every year there are periods of mass sickness after the vaccine where the buildings are short staffed, or if staff is there it is obvious they are not well.  Is it coincidence? Maybe. I doubt it.

Now, another thing I brought up with my friend is that again, along the lines of ingredients, there are things in vaccines that in themselves may be triggering problems. Thiomersal is an ingredient that has been removed from most, but not all vaccines. It’s primary component is Mercury.  Toxic to humans. The argument was that because mercury was only one component of Thiomersal that it was not affecting humans or making anyone sick. Yet, they have removed it from all but 3 vaccines. Coincidence? Plus, have you ever known why the Mad Hatter was Mad? It was because hat making procedures once used mercury. The mercury literally drove hat makers mad. I am not a scientist, and I admitted that to my friend, but I have noticed that post Thiomersal use, there are astronomically high rates of depression, anxiety disorders, and we’re even seeing higher rates of schizophrenia. I would argue we’re all mad hatters.

Take that one step further. Peanut oil is being used in many vaccines and has been for about a decade. The last 5 years the rates of extreme Anaphylatic shock type peanut allergies has skyrocketed with 4,000 new diagnoses every year  (Click here) .  Again I see a correlation. We’ve know about peanut allergies since the 40’s, yet they are more common now than they have ever been, and I’m not the only one making the connection to vaccines  (and here) . There has also been the same correlation to use of egg byproducts and egg allergies, and cotton seed oil and cotton seed allergy, both of which ended after discontinued use the those ingredients in vaccines. Beyond that rates of other autoimmune diseases and disorders are rising just as rapidly- Rheumatoid Arthritis, Some forms of Diabetes/Pancreatitis, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, PCOS, Asthma, IBS/IBD, Crohn’s, Lupus,  MS, Guillain-Barre syndrome, Psoriasis, Grave’s Thyroid disease, Myasthenia gravis, and Vasculitis– to name a few. All of them are more prominent than they were even 30 years ago.

By the way I have been diagnosed with: thyroid dysfunction, asthma, severe dietary allergies and seasonal allergies. Some of my allergies cause reactions just like R.A. though I’ve never had a doctor diagnose me because I don’t want the stupid meds when I can control the joint pain with diet. 

Now my friend disagrees with me on the allergy/auto-immune connection. She could not specifically state why that would be impossible, but did say that disease antigens and allergy antigens are different. She just didn’t think (believe) that one vaccine could trigger both. It’s only for the disease so that would be the only effect.  But of course she didn’t realize that there were still vaccines using Thiomersal either.

So then discussion turned toward business and government influence on the study of efficacy. She was the one that pointed out that much data never makes it to the table. She stated that if any data fails the rigorous standards then it is exempt from being released. If data is biased in any way it is with-held intentionally. If data can not be reproduced in a duplicate study it is with-held. If data is being sponsored by a business (pharma wants to know if their drug works) and no beneficial results are documented then data can, and often will be with-held.

She then pointed out that many studies are done as sidelines. Her example was that you are in charge of studying why the ocean is blue, you get grant money for that. Because you think it pertains to why the  ocean is blue you start study B as to why the sky is blue. You find the answers you want to the sky issue and help solve the ocean issue. However, if you find out the sky is really green and it completely challenges why you thought the ocean was blue, then do you really want to share that information. Especially if the sky being green makes the company/government-agency you work for look bad. If there’s a risk you might get fired or not be able to work anymore, there’s a good chance that you will pretend the study didn’t exist or at least find a way to not release the data. She then explained that there are many ways that would prevent data from being released. Subject/participant personal info could be compromised, inaccurate results, being unable to control external variables,  biased participants/scientists, or any slight variation from scientific standards could nullify data. So she was essentially admitting it’s not the data that is compromised, it is the business, politics, and governmental oversight that compromises accurate data from being released.

So essentially she is saying that we have the most accurate information possible with the tools and technology we have at this time, with an acknowledgement of the politics of the game. So again, I can totally see why the layperson might call that a belief.

She admits the downfalls to obtaining accurate data, but contends that what she has seen is the only accurate data available, when the reality of the last bit of conversation dictates that there might be accurate data that never saw the light of day.

Finally, I asked her if she was aware of the CDC whistle-blower Dr. William Thompson that is set to appear in front of Congress later this year, as well as a standing court case. That he is willing to testify that the CDC data was falsified and the CDC lied to the rest of our government, all of our medical professionals, and the general public about the percentage of vaccine injured individuals. She simply replied that she was unaware of that information and couldn’t comment on it. She then stated if that is really true then why didn’t Europe show the same data that he is willing to testify on. Stating that she believes Europe’s standards to be even more rigorous that the United States.

My only answer for that is if business and politics can affect the release of accurate data in a Democratic government, I see no reason why it can’t also affect the same process in a Socialized government. The only difference being that socialism does make a greater effort to keep it’s people healthy and cared for, and is slightly less concerned about big business making even bigger money. It doesn’t mean they are exempt from those influences, just that they make a surface attempt at balancing the scales.

So all in all we agreed to disagree on many things. The only thing that we both  unequivocally agreed upon was that the individual patient (or Parent in child situation) should have the right to choose in lieu of accurate testing measures to determine safety and efficacy on an individual basis.

And with that being said, since I already have so many auto-immune issues, I will continue to refuse vaccinations, for myself and my children. If my issues are even remotely related to vaccination, my children have my genetics and will be spared the risk. My husband can make up his own mind- though I believe him to agree with me.

#VaxxedTheMovie… the makers of the movie in the Q&A afterward recommended having a written statement that if vaccinations are give the medical establishment and administering medical professional(s) will be sued.  I consider this blog post and my restatement of that recommendation to be my current copy of that, as I can access this writing at any time as long as I have my phone. I will still seek a legal version, as a backup, but this will be my written refusal for easy access. Any further vaccinations for me (Treasa Cailleach) or my children (Anya or Ian)  will result in legal proceedings.

And final disclaimer, if you are a doctor reading this while any one of us is sitting in your office, make my day, the lawsuit would fix my financial woes really quick. Thank you for your cooperation!