Tag Archives: connect with God

Figured it out: 2

So, I found myself reevaluating my SG/SJ (or is it JS?) Online duo from aeons ago. I realized that at this point, even though I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out at least one half of the duo, I don’t need confirmation anymore. Not only that, I have come to a comfortable place of not wanting or needing them to do anything. I realized that even if they did come forward with honesty, that at this point I would probably be wary of a continuation of that dishonesty and all their half-truths, and it would be rather pointless. I also realized that I would have difficulty trusting much of anything, and that isn’t what a solid relationship is built upon. Additionally, I realized that anyone willing to do what was done, and not seek forgiveness sooner, has bigger psychological problems needing addressed that I’d rather avoid. Especially in a been there, done that, sort-of way. I know that I personally deserve better because I did already deal with that, and in several instances in my lifetime. I won and now it’s time for rewards.

That then stirred thinking.

Between relearning how to play Magic the Gathering, and relearning to separate singular from plural “they”¬† by using “they are” vs “they are all”, and several other similar relearnings, I know am doing better and better everyday.

The biggest factor is because I am learning to play the new game of life, with the new rules, and I’m doing quite well with it.

We are all in that boat, and some of us are doing better than others. Those that are unable to learn the new ways will eventually perish. I’d like to believe that I am doing better than enough to survive, but only time will tell. For that reason I’m grateful to every person that helps me learn an aspect of the new ways. Yet I’m not perfect and still make my own mistakes. So, I am also grateful when I figure something out enough to help my children or those around me, but I’m also grateful when those around me have patience with my moments of failure where I’m still playing catch up.

I think it’s time we all start cooperating and working together to navigate this new world we are living in. I think it’s time to acknowledge limitations so that we can work together to compensate for those limitations and find better solutions. I believe it is time to let go of forcing ourselves or anyone else to do, act, behave, or be certain ways. There are more options than that, if we let them in, and frankly I would love to let all of the good in.

For me personally I am doing my best. I am doing my best to be a kinder, gentler mom, and show my children how to navigate this world one step at a time. I am doing my best to be a good friend to those I care about, and show them I do care, by thinking of them and then following through with those moments of thought. I’m doing my best to take care of my husband and help him.

But beyond all of that I am doing my best to acknowledge my own limitations and give myself a break. I would love to do more for more people, hell I would love to do more for those I already care about. Sometimes I feel bad because I want to do more and can’t, and I’m doing my best to come to terms with the fact that I am only one human, and I do have limits of both time and resources. You can only fit so much into a day or week, and you can only help so many before it takes a toll on self, and that is where I’m at. It has started taking a toll and I must care for myself or I will break again.

So, today I have focused on positive self-talk and the things that I need. I have focused on moments that I have provided for others and asked: “How I can let those same moments in for myself?” I have focused on movements and what my body is telling me: what is tight, where are the restrictions and why. I have focused on giving my body space to breathe and for energy to flow. I have chased down blocks for both clients and myself, even if there are many more to go. I did a little art work on my big commissions, and bought a bouquet of flowers for a friend who’s under-the-weather from chemo. I have flowed the Reiki for myself and my clients. And, I have written this to congratulate myself, because if no one else does, then I must honor and respect myself. I am doing my best, and all things considered it’s not half bad, so I deserve to have kudos in any form it takes.

There are solutions and I am intent on finding them. I wish for everyone around me to heal, and the best way to enable that is to figure out this new life and the new rules, and make it work well enough for myself to show others it is possible. We all deserve better and I will continue to do my best to pave a way for that.

I am doing better and better, and I wish that for everyone, and I deserve to see it begin to manifest. My body is healing, slowly, but surely, and I wish that for everyone. Let’s make this plandemic fail and let all the chips fall. We can do it if we all work together and acknowledge that because of said event, the world and human experience, has changed in many ways. Once the toothpaste is out of the tube there is no going back. We must all do our best to move forward and find new ways of living, but most of all find new ways to work together for actual solutions. Humanity will evolve, or our species will quickly become extinct. For me personally, I have new dietary needs and reactions, and healing damage to organs can take a long while. I will continue to do my best to support my body as fully as I am able.

I am doing my best to let go of the past, the old ways, the old rules, the old language structure, the old habbits of being. Because, only in letting go can I allow the new ways to be absorbed/learned. I deserve to allow as much as I am humanly able, and I deserve to experience patience from those around me. Everything takes time, everything in due time.

I am worthy and I deserve to be free and healthy.

You do too!

May you see your way to allowing better for yourself and others. May you have patience with others still learning the things you’ve mastered first. May you see there are many ways to accomplish the same goals, and that everyone deserves access to all of them, not just a singular one to be forced. May you see that health is more than avoiding disease, and that often the human experience is learning how to overcome any obstacle you face. May you see that how well you navigate all obstacles is a major factor in your health. May you understand that feelings felt are the indicator of how accurate your thought was, and really have no bearing on the topic thought about. May you see a way to find the best feeling thought regardless of how tough the topic at hand is. May we all survive this shift and find a way to thrive in this new version of human experience. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Next!

A continuation of previous inquiries.

  • I wonder if men are afraid that they will be treated by women the way they as a whole gender have treated women for so long?
  • Do the men that fear retribution not see there are ways to safely return balance, and that their own actions matter?
  • And the layered wrongness of assuming a woman did sexual favors to get into any position of power…. Should we also assume that men do sexual favors for each other to get into those positions? We already know there is a fair amount of human trafficking of women for those men, but maybe they are also just giving each other head to climb ladders. Or isn’t it just vile that we have to make any of those assumptions, when did being at the top loose any meaning of knowledge, skill, fortitude, or accomplishments?
  • I was once told it is wrong to think or wish anyone dead no matter how disrespectful or disgraceful they were as a human being. It is truth because wishing death on anyone for any negative reason is harmful to oneself because you are focusing on a negative because of a negative. Those patterns only beget more of the same, but when the thoughts are internal they often trigger the same pattern internally and lead to ill health. However, should we also not see and find solutions for the fact that vile people lead our country and medical systems? Should we not acknowledge that it’s simply not okay for those people to be in power and to be causing us harm on multiple levels including gender inequality and stripping away of rights and freedoms?
  • And, are you contemplating their death from a cruel, vindictive, or good riddance standpoint; or more from a compassionate view for them or those they are affecting? The how’s and why’s of death’s contemplation is what makes it negative or not. I have prayed for the peace and soothing release that someone desperately needs through death, far more frequently than for a death of a ‘healthy’ individual. Even at that, the ‘healthy’ individual is a relative statement, because most of those individuals were causing harm and hardships for many, which one could argue is not healthy for them, but definitely not healthy for the masses, and my requests are always generated from the relief for the most standpoint.
  • My own personal goal is to not do anything I am not willing to accept as my own consequence. If I loose my mind enough to bring harm to millions of people, I honestly would hope that someone would stop me at any cost. I am perfectly fine with that consequence, but I aim to not be that person to begin with.
  • I guess what I’m getting to is: acknowleding the levels upon levels that one has to evaluate before making any firm statement. I think we all need to do that in regards to many things and many contexts. Do any of us really use that level of responsible judgement before making sweeping broad statements in a very opinionated way? And does God hold every single one of those blaz√© statements against us, or does God realize that it is yet another flaw of our humanness?
  • Does God already understand that our emotions sometimes get the better of us and we say things that we really don’t mean, just like parents with children? Does God have a way to tell what we really mean beyond human words, and solve the problem anyway? Does God ever know that we are expressing frustration over problems experienced, and see the layers of the whole picture and the whole onion of tears before reaching for a solution for us?
  • I like to believe that God really is greater and understands all of that and so much more that I’m not even able to communicate fully.
  • I like to believe God understands more than words, that God feels the emotions and the vibrations and sees the bigger alignment of all of it, and is able to see the best solution possible.
  • I like to believe that I am capable of trusting God and the divine in general, and that one day I’ll have a better understanding of why I needed so damn much patience to get through certain moments and periods of my life.
  • I like to believe that all my struggles and learning lessons along the way really did matter for a better experience, and that I will get to enjoy that experience for as long as I’d like, that I’ll really get to know what easier feels like in a prolonged way, and that it might lead to even greater ease.
  • I like to believe that the carrot is real and at some point I’ll get to enjoy the carrot cake in a wonderful way, and that the longer I wait maybe there will be even more and even better choices of cake. In a certain context, I took the best thing I’d seen the first try, and it didn’t pan out well- the dominoes didn’t fall as expected, maybe I didn’t wait long enough, or maybe that was a giant learning lesson to guide all my learning lessons. Again, only the divine knows the real answer. So I’m trusting and waiting patiently. Waiting for the feeling of knowing and certainty.
  • I am ready to be ready for improvement, and the divine will tell me how to get there one step at a time, and I can only ever accurately levie judgement upon myself, and even then after much contemplation.
  • I spend my days doing my best to be mindful, release stress, improve myself, and reach for better. On the occasion when another “gets my goat” I do my best to release it in whatever way I’m able (sometimes writing it out) and then forgive myself for falling for it, and forgive them for being the role of a trigger in my experience.
  • I wish everyone had that awareness, and we were all working that direction. I want us all to be happy and fulfilled and living easier lives: friends, family, neighbors, the whole of humanity. I genuinely want a better world in all the ways.
  • I’m doing my best to let go of my fears. It is entirely possible that I could make another choice that goes entirely opposite of my desires. I’m also afraid of hurting someone else because of my choices, as I’ve done plenty of that as well. Yet I am doing my best to maintain faith and trust in divine processes, and trust that if I listen well enough things will get better. I continue to reach for better.

May you have moments of recognition and understanding. May you find compassion for others, and forgiveness for yourself and others for any transgressions. May you have enough glimpses of the bigger picture and enough messages from the divine to know everything will be alright. May you find your patience even when you feel like you’re wearing thin. May you know for certain that one day it will all be worth it.

Om Shanti

My Sea

The shift is real whether you believe it or not.

I know that current events are a symptom of it. I’m just saying that if 2 aren’t working enough to have to resort to our best manual measures again, then why pressure for a third. Third time’s a charm doesn’t work in chemistry, it either works or it doesn’t. Repeating the same thing will not produce different results. That is the definition of insanity.

For me personally, today the shift felt real. My experience of it is tactile and perceptual.

The darkness did it’s best to drag me under, and all my 6 senses were overwhelmed. The Energetics triggered several trigger points to lock up on me. I had a long day, but it was far from being my most difficult. The Energetics started amidst my second session, and the trigger points were noticably severe by my third appointment. It triggered an emotional breakdown where I quietly cried the rest of my workday, doing my best to hide my tears behind my mask. I resorted to all the tools, including asking my twitchy weak husband to help at bedtime.

Ultimately, my biggest relief was creating my own tiny Sea of Gallalee in my tub using 4 pounds of Epsom salts. I proceeded to treat myself to an extended soak with jets running and completely submerged myself several times in cleansing self-baptism.

I have written about the many benefits of Epsom salt baths before, but the one thing I haven’t expounded upon is the ability to energetically cleanse the body and soul. Salt is the best purifier on the planet in that respect, and my salt bath this evening was wonderfully beneficial. I can feel the negatives being sucked out of me with the built up toxins, and I exited feeling a thousand pounds lighter and the bonus was that I was much less sore than before. I firmly believe that there must be some remnants of sea life genetics left in me from millennia past, simply because I benefit from nearly every way humans can consume or partake in the benefits of the sea. Iodine, seaweed, seafoods, and especially salts.

Anyway, the darkness was thick, causing hideous lies to traverse my brain, and my Epsom soak/baptism banished it enough to call in Great Spirit to begin flowing healing again.

So, I will leave you with a prayer likely older than Christ (even though I did ask his help on this evening too). It is from this great land I walk daily. It is a Lakota prayer to the Great Spirit, and it doesn’t matter if I listen, sing, say, or read it, it definitely opens me up to the goodness of the divine and enables healing energy to flow. I do not know the full translation, but the energy is what matters anyways, and the audio is my favorite rendition I’ve found of it.

Wakan tanka, hunkaschila
Wohitika oyate
Nagi tanka, tunkasila
Akicita, oyate
Wiyan wakan, hanhepi-wi
Nakacijin, oyate
Heyyy, ayy, hee, ooh!

Wakan tanka, hunkaschila
Wohitika, oyate
Niyaha, le mita cola
Kiksuyapi, oyate
Wicoti, mitawa wichasha
Wakan mitakuye, oyasin
Oyate!
He, ayy, hee, ooh!

The following is my prayer that I repeated whilst soaking in salts.

Great spirit is healing the darkness.
Great spirit is healing me.
Great spirit is healing all of us.
Darkness has no right here.
I'm sorry I accidentally invited it in, please forgive me, thank you great spirit I love you.
I'm healing, I flow healing to all those around me.
I'm healing inside and out, top to bottom, every cell, every organ, every tissue, every nerve, every molecule, every atom.
Great spirit is flowing healing everywhere it is needed and for everyone that is open to receiving it.
Healing is love, I am loved, I am a beautiful person deserving of better than this, better than the darkness.
My world and my experience are healing too.
I am loved and supported in all that I do.
Great spirit is healing me and everything that is part of me and my experience.

May you know that you are loved and supported. May you know that you have access to healing. May you know the tools necessary to overcome the darkness and aide our world during these times. May you fare well in this shift we are experiencing. Above all may you know that you are loved and supported in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Help Fix It Because

Help fix it
because you can
Because you care
You're there and aware

Help Fix It
Because it needs fixed
It's so wrong it needs
Righted
Damaged never becomes
Whole on it's own

Abuse begets more
Abuse
Hatred
More the same
Anger, frustration,
You name it
All lead to
More of the same

Give power back
To those you took from
Take your own
Where it was taken
All without
Laying a single finger

What's yours is
Yours
Make right the wrongs

Because it affects
All
It's your karma
That trickles to
Everyone you have
EVER
Touched, seen, heard
Kissed, fed, hugged

It infected us all
Your dis-ease
Your mis-deeds
Your malice
Your hate

It is your choice
Your chance
To make amends
Without ever
Speaking

Let go
Of every bother
Of every worry
Of every trigger

Let go of
Mine, yours
Ours is broken
If karma is not healed

Just reach for love
Any and every way you can
Appreciate with
Awe and wonder
See the best in
Everything and everyone
Savour
Every moment

Just breathe
Knowing that simple
Act
Is fixing it.
All will be well
In a moment

Fix it
Because you wanted to
It's why you are
Here

~ Treasa Cailleach

I signed this as mine because I chose the format and most of the words. But I know deep in my core that this is a message far bigger than me. God and Goddess were felt strongly, and my device argued some of my word choices almost preventing typing until adjustments were made. I know I was guided in this message.

May it help you, as much or more, as it helps me. May you feel guidance in your life as strongly as I do. May you let go and let God heal. May you feel God’s love always. May you know you are loved and supported in all ways.

Om Shanti

The picture is the weather today here in KC, despite that, I’m still a full days work at the clinic, so I squoze in what I could with this post. Once I clear my own karma, I’ll likely be able to write more again. Crossing fingers. Prayers always welcome.

Being selfish.

I have conceded again, that anything I have desired involving other people is pointless, because invariably they have their own hot mess that I can’t solve.

I can’t make anyone do anything, and now I know that I can pull up when their actions sting, even when there are layers and layers of sting.

I can only help myself be a better person, no matter what.

I can only help myself feel better, no matter what.

I know I can do anything that I choose to do.

I know I am very capable of a wide array of skilled activities.

I know I am skilled enough to learn anything I don’t already know. I am skilled enough to do many great things.

I have been responsible for many people and over many years. I have done everything I was supposed to do, be it based on parental or societal dictations. I’ve even learned how to best care for myself.

I am capable. I am intelligent. I am strong. I am good at everything I choose to do.

I have even learned to controll my emotions. It takes me less time, every time I do it. I know how to find happy, and it’s getting quicker and quicker.

I am enough.

I like feeling good. I appreciate this healing. My whole family deserves the same healing.

I have been fully responsible.

Now what?

I don’t know.

I see the fallacy of my childhood dreams, my idea of perfection is nearly impossible because it would require attempting to control others. The magic lies in letting the divine orchestrate the details.

My problem now lies in that; letting go of my dreams completely carries an emptiness of my own role, I don’t need to orchestrate my Atira, in just such a way. I have accomplished an ability to find peace and happiness no matter what. I have accomplished an ability to see all of the unconditional elements I desired, in my current place of now. Knowing I can work myself towards feeling better, feeling good, and seeing all of the basic desires manifested, leaves me feeling goal-less.

There is nothing I yearn for. There is nothing I desire. There is nothing that I feel is missing or needing accomplished. I can’t even label anything that I really want anymore.

There are some silly things like places to travel to, or things to do, but there is nothing I really desperately want. Pretty much everything has lost its draw.

I am okay with whatever. The Divine can decide for me, no matter what that means. I finally feel like I’ve detached from everything. Nothing is necessary, nothing is vital, and nothing even stands out as a major interest. I am open to anything or nothing, whichever God and Goddess dictate. Death does not scare me, and I’m already living in a crazy stupid world, full of chaos and negativity, so I obviously can handle that. Perhaps there is some other option, if so I’m open to it. Whatever the divine chooses for me.

May you find your peace. May you find full healing. May you see your loved ones healed as well. May you know that everything you need already is here. May you see everything you want and desire in your current reality. May you sense the empty expansion of letting the divine take over and decide for you. May you feel your infinite self and know that God loves and supports you in all that you do. May you trust the divine and allow it to decide for you, even if that might mean death is imminent. May you know that God knows more than you possibly can and will choose the best way for you.

Be still
And know that
I
am
God

First do no harm
So mote it be

Om Shanti