Tag Archives: days off

Ripening

I can feel it in the air tonight.

A storm is rolling in, my children are having expansive moments, and I’m fuzzy around the edges: not quite thinking 100% clearly being tired from 12 days of work. I have one day of work to go and beyond being very ready for my day off, I’m aware of a sense of something other than a storm approaching.

In the past, these moments have carried anxiety or a sense of something more intense. At times I’ve used the words: anticipating impending doom. Tonight is different, more reserved, more subtle.

I had a moment of grief at dinner over my probably never coming back SJ. I cried and told Nathan that a heart never forgets having fallen in love. His consolation was that at least I gave the love freely and that has to mean something. He thinks that the divine will send an even better replacement, but I know even the best replacement will not have the exact same feel. That is something I’m just working on coming to terms with.

Ultimately, if there is such an energetic connection and honesty, I’ll likely move on just fine in time. It just seems like this one is taking me a long time to get over.

I told Nathan it all leaves me feeling like boys are dense, and perhaps my attention should be on girls again/for once. But the only girls I’ve caught in my sights are clients (a huge ethical no-no I’m unwilling to break) or already married and most likely monogamous at that. So being I’m still not on social media and not desiring to be on any dating sites of any kind, it seems I’ll have to wait for the universe to send me a girl. God knows what my preferences are, as evidence by the other things I’ve been provided in alignment with my previous asking. So there will eventually be an obvious answer, I must just continue to have patience.

For now, I work on friendship: with existing friends and new work acquaintances. It’s easier and more relaxed anyways, except for my damn schedule being so inconvenient. Plus, I can be a little lazy on friends and fit time for them in as I feel up to it.

It also means I can prioritize me better as well. Sunday being my day off, I will assemble what I have so far of my new computer for graphic design. I’ll get sketch-up and some other software installed to be able to start my images for Atira. Eventually, I will be able to get a pen mouse for detailed work, I look forward to that. In the meantime, I also plan to make some edits to the format of my blog here in WordPress. I’ve hit some pretty exciting milestones at 350 posts over the last 4 years. I feel like my journey needs honoured, so I am going to reflect that in adding to my blog layout. I make no promises as to how long it will take me to do all this computer work, since this week has been so full I barely managed to post at all, but it’s still a short term goal for me.

Wish me well, and if you’re a regular reader, I’d love some feedback/comments or even suggestions.

Be well. May you have rest and relaxation. May you enjoy time off doing things you like/love. May you have easy to accomplish, feel good, goals. And as I’ve often said: may you find all of the love you seek.

Siva Hir Su

Jingle Bells, tummy turns, and Happy New Year’s

So I’ve been super busy. Working 7 days a week still. It’s going well all things considered.

The man I was filling in for came back to work, but not at his best, which wasn’t great too begin with. So management decided to hang on to me full time in a, just in case, sort of way. I did the decorations (see last post) and then began working on odd jobs that mostly amounted to cleaning up other’s messes. Other than being an odd situation, I have done well and hung in, completing each assignment in a reasonable amount of time. I was careful not to move to quickly to land myself without work, but not too slow to undo the trust I’d built with management.

I cover weekend entertainment, which meant I had a good time with salvation army carolers and our cookie party 2 weeks ago. It was a blast- they had me direct jingle bells intentionally leaving them hanging mid-chord to encourage money tossing (see pic below), and afterwards I received a compliment from the manager I thought least likely to ever compliment anyone. It felt really good.

That was right at Yule and we celebrated Yule after work with a fire and Nathan’s (Girlfriend)… I use that term loosely because I’m not sure they have decided to commit that label yet. I enjoyed hulk-smashing a couple of logs for the fire and watching Ian and Anya get their fire element on. Then I burned all of the leftover incense that I bought the one shopping trip in September (I wrote about it too). It was necessary release, and after a few tears I felt better.

Then last week I caught a round of stomach flu and spent Sunday and much of Christmas Eve sick in bed. My dad had visited for the holiday to bring kids gifts which was much appreciated, but since I was down sick he decided to cut his stay short and left Christmas Eve afternoon. Katherine spent Christmas day sick and Nathan was sick the day after. I think because Ian and Anya had been sick the week before they were spared from this round. Regardless of having gotten sick I very much enjoyed the resulting 3 days off, and admitted that sometimes I think I get sick to make sure I have some downtime.

Our family had a good holiday and kids enjoyed their gift receiving. Grandad was very impressed with little Katherine, how aware she is, being very interactive, and how well she was able to stand, squat, crawl, and creep along furniture. He kept saying she’s going to take off really walking any day now, and we just kept agreeing.

This week I have just New Year’s Day off, and I’m going to milk it for all it’s worth, as it’s my only day off in January.

I’m very much looking forward to starting the new year with a day off and being healthy; besides it’s a Pig year and being born in a Pig year that means I’m supposed to have great fortune this year. I’ve decided that’s a good omen, a lucky year starting with an actual day off (I’ve not always had New Year’s Day off, so it counts).

May you all find this year lucky and have just the right amount of time off for yourselves.