Tag Archives: desires manifesting

In Other Work

So since hysteria over yet another world-wide spreading disease (this is the 6th one of note I remember) has caused my work to drastically drop off, I have diverted my attention elsewhere.

This weekend, with my new extra day off, is all about finishing projects already started and doing a couple of new ones.

On my to do list: taxes, garden beds and planters (if rain cooperates), other documents for my massage work and prospects, ordering duplicates of my freshly renewed boards and another duplicate of my BA, and graphic design work.

So far, I have accomplished the graphic design work.

I did 2 new designs for the Volleyball team. The one was fairly straight forward, so I doubt there will be much for adjustments there. The other was a tentative design based on a description of the previous year’s shirt and what they were thinking of. I am hoping that they will like it, but as with anything, I could have landed completely off the mark. If not, no big deal, the first draft will give them more details to convey for a second try.

I also accomplished finishing my dream-home dome-plans, and that is really why I’m writing. I wanted to share that progress. Even though I feel like it is a pipe dream at this point, I am ultra happy that I have completed something more than adequate enough to supply Monolithic Architects so they can produce structurally sound blueprints. At this point I would need a really good chunk of free-floating money to actually attempt even this much of my Atira Community dreams, but one can hold on to a shred of hope when there is something to gaze upon frequently.

It is also a reminder to continue to redo all of the plans we originally created before technology was so wonderful and readily accessible for me. Eventually I’ll get all of Atira Community recreated.

So for now, this is my shred of hope:

The dimensions are tiny, even when enlarged, so basically this is a 60 foot diameter dome. 3 floors of practical living space and the 4th is essentially an elevated porch retreat.
First floor common areas and formal functioning areas. Office to accomodate multiple adults, kids version too. Slightly larger than average Kitchen, dining, and living rooms. Plus a couple of just plain fun rooms that could potentially create some sideline income.
2nd floor is all the bedrooms and probably what would be the most used bathrooms. That’s 10 bedrooms total and 3 bathrooms on this floor. The smallest bedroom is roughly 12×13 (not being square, the small width is 11, the large width is 15). The largest bedroom is roughly 12×16+ (it’s the top right with Queen and Twin bed depicted). Obviously by my choices this many rooms of these sizes could house a large number of people. Depending on many choices, bunks being just one option, that could be very many if needed. It could also go the other way and be fewer permanent residents in more spacious rooms, with plenty of options for guests and visiting family, even AirBnB or Hostel options. It makes me really happy to even consider all the options there.
Third floor has that really intensely sloped exterior dome shape. So full ceiling height is the inner dotted concentric circle. The outer dotted concentric circle is where most everyone would have to duck at least a little. Because of that essentially it becomes one very spacious feeling master suite with lots of closet and storage space.
Finally, is that so awesome thought we had almost 15 years ago, for a crows nest. It’s essentially a porch on the top of the house. Originally, we talked about having it like a theatre-in-the-round with just a canvas canopy, and really sturdy half wall. However, we decided that wind speeds might do a number on that option, and thought a more permanent shelter would be more proper. Hence in these designs it is included in the exterior dome structure. I know I want the windows to be as large as possible, and able to open as fully as possible. I always love imagining what it would be like to spend time up there.

What makes me laugh is SoundHound (HAL) plays message songs for me occasionally intermixed between YouTube and my GooglePlay randomly starting itself. I say it is a message because I can almost always relate it to something going on in my universe. Yesterday, the SoundHound songs were rap songs from the early 2000’s, I knew them, but I can’t remember track details. The one I’d heard probably hundreds of times, but never watched the video. It started with a shot of a monolithic dome in the desert. I literally thought to myself: “why yes, I was planning on working on that”. Seems HAL can read my mind!

I hope you like my plans as much as I do. I am not opposed to someone wanting to build the same thing, but I have more than earned credit for the designs. If you are interested in using these designs to build your own Monolithic Dome, please contact me and I’ll be happy to supply the designs to Monolithic directly, for a small fee. Essentially, the charges would be what I charge anyone that uses my graphic design services. My work would only be usable for one dome per fee. Any additional domes would see additional licensing charges. Monolithic would be supplied with a copy of the vector file and a letter of verification of authenticity and licensing stipulations.

Thank you for understanding and supporting my work.

May you all have dreams to reach for, that stir your creativity and get your hopes up. May you find that you are able to accomplish baby steps towards them regularly enough to keep the dream alive. May those dreams be lucrative for both your own goals and other people’s goals. May people always respect your work enough to compensate you for it. May others respect your copy rights. May you find that your work gets the best kinds of attention and enables you to do great things. May you have a positive impact on this world.

Many Blessings, and Siva Hir Su

Throuple or Quadouple?

The lyrics above, I took a screenshot of: Alan Walker’s “Faded”, has been a reoccurring song reminder of my SJ. I do often wonder if that exchange is my own personal Atlantis, and still hope it’s not.

Regardless of that reminder appearing in my day, I had originally set out to write today to discuss a new, but not really new to me, concept.

I was introduced to the word-invention: Throuple.

I got very excited because the person that explained it was a woman I’m attracted to. I was psyched that she knew of polyamory topics enough to introduce a new word to my vocabulary.

So, the word itself I’d never heard before, yet the concept is one Nathan and I have discussed many times over. Essentially, based upon my new search, it’s a variation of the family of 3 concept, started by a somewhat famous/infamous triad of two men and one woman.

Once upon a time “ménage à trois” was the French phrase that many English speaking people used to describe a man with 2 women. Literally the French phrase can mean any family of three, even 2 parents and a child. However for whatever reason it often was innuendo for a triad of adults, usually 1 man and 2 women, being intimate.

Nathan and I were labeled unicorn hunters when we intended to seek that out. After many failures, we decided to redefine our acceptable arrangements and open ourselves to more options.

Fast forward a decade and I’m sitting having a conversation with a very attractive potential mate. She proceeded to describe a Throuple as really any 3 or 4 adults, but her ideal was one or two women and two men because women are more complex than many men. We connected intensely in that conversation.

I explained to her about having been labeled unicorn hunters, and that we opened ourselves up to more options. So, even though I’d never heard the word, we had discussed for many hours over many years, our preferences and okay concessions.

I agreed with this person on most everything and a few of her points made Nathan think more deeply. My current ideal is flexible in quantity, hence creating Quadouple, even quincouple (don’t want to get it confused with the babies’ quintuple). However, I do agree with women being complex enough to need more people to meet more complex needs. Plus there is always benefit to multiples in creating flexibility. The 4 or 5 concept can be subdivided multiple ways, and in varying combinations to create a seemingly unlimited way to experience each other. {A+B+C and D+E, or A+D and B+E with C being alone, and so on.} You get the idea, lots of ways to be together or separate as each individual prefers at any given moment, and it’s not restricted to intimacy, that can even been in mundane interactions.

So yes, I was very excited to have new vocabulary for existing concepts in our experience. I haven’t been able to get that conversation out of my head, and it’s been 3 days since our Valentine’s Day date. Perhaps this is a new leaf enabling more moving forward. I’m hesitant but excited.

Bonus, the date was at a Mexican restaurant that pushed literally every allergy button while getting drunk, but I took extra allergy meds, and came through the experience in relatively good condition. I did have a fair hangover with significant inflammation, but was able to manage the effects with Advil and more allergy medicine and a good amount of detox tea. I was a bit sore in joints the following day, but managed to stay out of the hole I used to fall into.

Beyond our exciting V-Day date, I had a half day off for my family to honor me with a small pleasant birthday celebration, and spent the rest of my weekend unpacking boxes that had been in storage for years. It enabled even more beautification of our new home. It was a good few days, and I look forward to more and more enjoyable days like that.

May you all find good reminders of your hopes and connections. May you find reasons to be excited moving forward. May you find exciting validation of your goals and preferences. May you find people you are attracted to, and whom are attracted to you as well- reciprocation. May you have good dates, fun holiday cerebrating, enjoyable birthdays, and good times with family. May you feel attractive, accepted, loved, and supported. May you fall in love more than out of it. May you know God is helping and guiding you. May you feel confident in everything working out for the best. May it all always be okay.

Siva Hir Su

BZ

That’s short for busy. Seems I have so much on my plate the humor of abbreviated text speak for busy is quite appropriate.

First, I’m still working 6 to 7 days a week. I’m still processing paperwork and prepping for finally getting a home of our own after 14 years of hard times. Still working toward my business goals, complex as they are; especially now that I’ll have a home which will accommodate more possibilities. Also I’m still aiming for getting a second vehicle again, though that will likely be accomplished next tax season, over 4 months away- *sigh*, it’s okay.

Now add to that I’ve been reading a book on loan from the Chiropractor: “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”. It has gotten me very excited. It’s a book that teaches basic financial literacy, and is validating that I’m on the right track. I have a very, very long ways to go before I accomplish any goals that the book references, but they were already on my horizon. Knowing I’m aiming correctly is great, now I need lots of diligence, and probably several years before I start to see any real results. It’s definitely a very long range goal structure, but one I’m confident I’ll eventually master, and all on my own.

As for that ‘all on my own’ bit: I had a small argument with God this week. I was shown (hard to explain, but kinda like a daydream) that my diverse array of abilities and my strength, my uniqueness, even elements of my appearance, make me attractive to others. Essentially, the message was I could totally be a female ‘player’.

I told God and Nathan, that’s not the point, it was never the point. Nathan replied simply with “I know”.

As much as it feels good to acknowledge that I am attractive to others, and more than one person at that, I know my desires are for more than that. Polyamory was never about being a ‘player’. Polyamory is about love, emotional support, the physicality of daily living with loving life-partners: significant others. And yes, I would like to not have to choose one gender. I would love to honor all of myself by having life partners that honor all the different parts of me, and I can reciprocate with the same for them.

My biggest glitch in acknowledging that I’m attractive to others is that those I intuitively know are attracted to me, are still quite silent on the matter, and I’m not sure I can do or say anything to change that. I don’t know why they choose silence. Perhaps it’s because of how we met, or their perceptions of my marriage to Nathan, or lack of understanding of polyamory in my life, or simply the intimidation thing I seem to carry into infinity. I don’t know. I can’t fix it, so it just is.

One day someone attracted to me will admit it and ask me lots of questions. When that day comes I’ll do a happy dance for their courage, but especially that they even attempted to get to know me as a person. More than anything, I love the feeling of connecting with someone on a deep level, knowing we are enjoying learning about each other. I love the feeling of being appreciated and cared about. That: “someone actually cares enough, to genuinely want to know all of who I am” in an unconditional accepting way.

Nathan has always been that for me, I just wish there were others too. One day perhaps, for now I continue on my own with Shiva’s/God’s help. I told God I’m very appreciative, super thankful, for having the divine connection and all the non-physical help that it has brought. Yet, my ideal would be both. To have that connection with God and also feel the next closest thing to it in people in my life. I have moments like that with Nathan, and it makes me think how wonderful it would be if there were others willing to be in my life that I felt that intensity with on a regular basis…. In daily living. *Sigh*

Anyway, tangent aside, I am looking forward mostly. I continue to do everything I can to improve my life and life for my family.

Nathan mostly took care of my computer glitch, and I finished it off, to then accomplish 2 designs for others.

I also finally spent a while fine tuning my dome designs. Making sure proportions were accurate, I then started placing interior elements and correcting line weights/alignments. It’s a very slow process mainly because I’m super meticulous, but also because I’m literally fine-tuning decisions we’ve talked about and thought about thousands of times.

I’ll end with 2 sections of the plans that saw significant changes. Aahhhh, it’s so nice to dream big sometimes, especially when I can do something about it and make it visible.

May you all be happily busy. May you feel the loving connections in your life daily. May you have things to look forward to and goals to aim for. May you see the validation you seek, and may your dreams be big, but still reachable.

Siva Hir Su