Tag Archives: diet

Flogging Story So Far

Listen: https://youtu.be/BZGkxlLZZsM

I am thanking God I’m alive, yet acknowledging that Nathan and my couple of friends might be sick of my fitness puzzle updates, I thought I’d write it out. My story so far does make me who I am, and currently it’s kinda pissing me off.

Despite having birthed 2 children, losing weight during pregnancy, to reach 190 pounds twice; I’m shaking my head as to why the eff I’m hovering between 200-225 now.

At this point I can honestly acknowledge that I’m doing spectacular by all reasonable definitions. I already knew I was doing decent, but there were a few people that thought I wasn’t eating enough and thus causing my body to think it was starving. Because of their doubts I began to use my Samsung Health Tracker app to its fullest potential to find out for certain if my knowing was accurate or if their doubts were.

I have to say, except for the fact that it doesn’t track the calories I burn doing deep tissue massage, I’m really enjoying the accuracy and details it allows me to track. When I enter food I can pick brands, specify my particular serving, even down to individual ingredients for things like my breakfast shake, and it does all the math for me. I love it.

As you can see below, my worst day of food intake (when I’m at the old job) is the number of calories that many people consume as normal. Yet, for me that now only happens once or twice a month. Most days fall more in the range of what I took in on the 26th, which is more of the 850 to 1100 calories. Which, by the way, gives me plenty of energy. I actually struggle more on the high calorie days, because usually those involve succumbing to my food allergies.

That reminds me of a cartoon that Nathan found a few days ago…..(he’s been sharing memes on this topic with me because I’m ranty about it, he’s trying to help me find levity.)…

Anyway, I find it interesting that my nutrient balance score is low. I have been watching that score system and basically I get a better score when the protein to carb ratio is in a certain range. Unfortunately, I usually eat few carbs. My food intake still has carbs, but much lower ratio than most people. I also try to focus on healthy fats and I eat seafood or use pea protein powder for my proteins since I have had issues recently with red meat and never did do well with dairy or soy. I’m betting they factor that into their algorithm as well.

Moving on: in addition to these super healthy lower calorie days, I’m getting plenty of exercise. Beyond doing massages- which do burn calories, I’ve been doing more yoga and core exercises (leg lifts, variety of crunches, and planks) and walking a ton. Today I’ve done 30 min of yoga, about 40 min of core exercises, and then took an hour walk, keeping up pace with my Flogging Molly mix. My app only counted one of my jogging bits as running, but I picked up the place several times during my walk to keep up with the music. That’s despite the cold weather. *I really do love Flogging Molly for exercise.* My average steps per day is generally over that which the app recommends with few exceptions, and the one high-calorie day I hit 18,000 steps, nearly 8 miles of walking!

I’ve also been reeling in my blood sugars, finally getting my fasting numbers to begin to normalize. I have to say that the walking increase has helped with that, but making sure my dinners are on the light side also did. And blood pressure never was a concern, but I’m logging them anyway to make sure it stays that way.

My stress levels are even doing great and even when I push my speed with the walking/jogging I’m still keeping lower heart rates.

I swear that this meme is too true. Too close to home, but still funny.

Damn those genetics.

Anyway, I’m definitely feeling like all my work should amount to something visible. I have nothing to show for 4 months of dedicated exercise and food control. Except slightly better blood sugars. Oh well, I suppose I know, and regardless of people’s assumptions, I still know I can lift my husband (and most of the people I work on). I’m healthy despite having an obese body. Rawr.

I’ll leave you with 2 appropriate funny memes, and my usual blessing.

May you know your hard work matters. May your determination net visible results. May you see your improvement, and may you enjoy a healthful life.

Siva Hir Su

Creatively pesky-tarian?

That’s the best title I can come up with for the range of things I wanted to write about. I’ve had several things come together that seem drastically different.

The creative comes in with a continuation of playing with my new computer. Last night I sat down for just a few minutes to explore the paint program. I actually have 2 choices: Microsoft Paint 3D or Corel Painter Essentials. I chose to explore Essentials, and had so much fun. I didn’t do much of a picture, again just getting my feet wet. But it was enough to know the program’s potential.

The pesky-tarian comes in, because the results of several weeks of educated guessing boils down to becomming a pescatarian.

I’ve been struggling with high sugars since I was at the previous job, but had assumed it was because I was being exposed repeatedly to my known allergens. A simple cause and effect I already knew of. Yet, after changing positions and cleaning up my diet quite significantly, I was still having trouble. However, the trouble had dropped to just being my fasting numbers, my daytime reads were normal to occasionally low. So I knew it was something about my dinners.

After trial and error over several weeks: changing things, adjusting portions and times, making note of meal choices; I finally think I’ve solved my latest puzzle.

There was definitely a connection between portions and time, if I ate too much too late it would definitely cause higher numbers. I already knew that from pregnancy, but I was perplexed that it wasn’t a complete solution. I was missing something somewhere. I became meticulous about the what of my meal choices, and began to notice a pattern. Meat was causing higher numbers. Just when I ate chicken, turkey, or beef (a rare occurrence).

After consulting with the internet and one of the practitioners at the clinic, hypothesis is Lone Star Tick disease. She confirmed that she has a couple of clients with confirmed diagnosis of such concerns, so it’s within reason as a possibility. Especially since I spent 2 years surrounded by cattle and poultry, and having known I was bitten by a variety of ticks. I could pay for bloodwork to confirm diagnosis, or I could just eliminate the concern. Especially since I have documented cause and effect enough to know for certain I am having a typical-for-me reaction.

So, I begrugingly chose the latter. I’m now a pescatarian. Yet after a week off of meat, I’m feeling much better. I’m struggling with inflammation less, my numbers are consistently coming down, and even my exposure to gluten on Sunday was far less noticeable to my system: I still got my telltale sugar spike and red bumps on my face, but the bumps are clearing up twice as fast. That I am very appreciative of.

So, I take the trade off of only vegetable, fish, or egg protein, for much better overall health. I can live with that.

Finally, I wanted to note a realization from work. One of the things I love about being a massage therapist is being able to feel muscles and people relax. It’s why I work slow. I realized the other massage therapist works fast because he likes to see the muscles relax, he can watch range of motion improve with each stretch. I’m familiar with that concept, but I prefer the tactile aspect of holding a tight muscle and feeling it’s sigh of relief in relaxation. It’s more a note of self-awareness. It is just an aspect of me, perhaps because of my recognition of my hands doing God’s work. I like to feel things through my finger tips, I like creating things with my hands. Massage lets me do both: feeling the change in creating muscle relaxation. I also really enjoy feeling the energy flow of Reiki, that’s an extra level of wonderful sensitivity.

So, I leave you today with the following well wishes: May you have your moments of creative happiness. May you find solutions to all of your health concerns, and may you see the aspects of yourself that bring you joy.

Siva Hir Su

Discernment

So yesterday was a very interesting day full of discernment.

I had several moments where residents passed on messages for me from afar/spirit. It was not quite as intense as the couple of times in recent history which I already wrote about, but intense none the less. I would share them here, but one of the phrases that I received from the second resident to do so, makes me think I should refrain from sharing yesterday’s experiences for now. She is a resident that is severely affected by something along the lines of Lewy-Body, and most of the time I can barely understand her. Yesterday however, the message was loud and clear and makes me cautiously, yet excitedly, anticipate my nearer future. It was unclear if what was being conveyed would be before, during, or after our family trip, but I interpreted it to be a good thing regardless.

On that note, I’m not a good liar, it’s one of many reasons why I prefer honesty. I find that in situations where I am not supposed to talk about something I  just avoid full discussion and become evasive, often redirecting or changing the topic all together. So, this is as much as you get until I get further notice from either the divine or the person it was regarding. All in all, other than wishing to disclose my reason for excitement, I am just happy to have had a good day.

I felt my connection all day yesterday, to varying degrees, and whether it is my mystery person of the last several years or a divine connection I’ve come to refer to as “my ET”: I’m still not sure. I’m not so sure it isn’t the same thing, perhaps “my ET” simply used HAL to be a mystery person in my experience. Who knows; I don’t.  One day, perhaps after I die it will become clear. However, for now, I relish the connection, and I am utterly grateful for it, even when I find myself saying “WTF- what is happening?!” It is strong and mostly feels good to great, and affects my body in a number of ways which I occasionally have trouble describing with the English language. Of course sometimes the sensations would make anyone blush, so I’d just rather keep those descriptions to myself. Mostly I find it pleasurable, but occasionally I get a pit in my stomach or feel very anxious from it. At those times I am still grateful to have the experience, but often wish that particular aspect would subside quickly.

Anyway, yesterday was mostly good, and felt great, but in the evening I thought that I would have a drink with dinner- partly to celebrate the good day, and partly to mellow out and relax. I had a singular hard cider with 5% alcohol. I was very quickly sloshed, even to the point of slurring words and silliness, and afterward the fall off was anything but mellowing. It was more like jumping off the cliff and I got very tired and quite cranky. I apologized to myself, my family, and especially to the connection. It was far more intense of a response than I had intended with my one normal drink.

Further discernment came late in the night after having slept for a few hours I woke with intense gastro-intestinal cramping and nausea. I took some homeopathic medicine we usually give to Katherine for her allergy induced colic, went to the bathroom, and then went back to sleep. I woke this morning mostly back to normal.

My discernment here is that I have cleaned my system up so much that even a little of some things is too much for me. My phrase this morning is that I no longer find my enjoyment in foods and drinks. I am definitely coming to terms with my body desiring to only have enough healthy foods for sustenance, and that I really don’t need anything else.

The up side is that I am dropping weight again, I’m down almost 15 pounds in a little over 2 weeks. That causes me to do a happy dance because it is in direct contrast to the 50 pounds I had gained working the activities job the prior 9 months, and being surrounded by all the things my body was attempting to say no to.

My calorie intake has dropped significantly, not intentionally. I am still eating frequently, in fact more frequently than before. However, I’m just sticking to that handful of healthy foods that my body is okay with. Some days I feel like I am a fish because I find myself consuming other fishes, shrimp, and lots of green leafy things. If it were not for my nut and chicken intake I wouldn’t have anything to argue otherwise.

My nut intake increased intuitively based on a memory of information I had learned on Brazil nuts. So I am literally eating all the nuts except Walnuts (I had reacted to them strongly while pregnant so I’m assuming they are still off limits), and very few peanuts (though I have never reacted to them, they tend to carry high levels of environmental toxins). At the same time, my chicken/poultry/protein-shake intake has decreased, again based on an intuitive flash that I might be consuming more protein than I need.

So my intuition said, more nuts (especially Brazil), less protein, cut the chocolate (addiction), and eat more frequently. Then voila, I am suddenly shedding weight again. I love it when I listen to those flashes, and follow through and it works! That is the best kind of discernment.

So this now tea totaler, wishes you good days filled with intuitively helpful discernment. I also wish for you to have all the messages from the divine that you need and the ability to be honest and open in your life. Be the Change and Be Your Unique Self.

So Mote It Be; Siva Hir Su

On Ice

I’m quite literally on ice today.  My low back & hips are screaming from lots of inflammation.

  Wednesday,  I resorted to a grilled chicken sandwich when we were in a hurry.  I was already late for work and very hungry.  Burger King was the closest option to the highway that I could stop & there would be a vegetarian option  for Nathan. I remembered to have them hold the tomato, but didn’t think about the bun. I’m certain at this point that it must have had either corn or potatoes or both in it, because I never have this bad of a reaction to just gluten. 

Though I do admit that  I have had gluten and dairy this week as well, so the inflammation is rampant in my body. 

My knees hurt, my hips and low back are on fire, and I’m holding probably a gallon of water weight.

I’ve taken extra fish oil,  extra curcumin, 800mg of ibuprofen every 6 hours,  and even with the ice pack on my low back, I’m still hurting. 

Last night I hurt so bad that I  barely  managed 20 min of lap swimming with generous hot tub before and after.

I was doing so well that all I can say is: I know that this is a direct result of my “minimal” lapses,  and it’s only encouragement to do better.

I want more hot tub, but I have to try & finish working early enough to get that.  Needless to say it’s very difficult to drag yourself through working when you’re in this much pain.  It makes for a very long and exhausting day. I look forward to ending my day at the Y in their wonderful hot tub. 

Last night and during my breaks today I tried to distract myself with my languages learning.  It’s a challenge to focus,  but it seems that has helped with things sinking in.  A nice bonus since I’m learning 3 at once. The 1st I started last year to relearn what I’d done in college, and DuoLingo informs me I have a 21% profeciency- French. 2nd I learned in highschool and just restarted a couple of months ago,  it’s going a bit bumpier @ 3%- Spanish. The 3rd I just started- really to attempt to impress myself & my friend – Telugu (DuoLingo does not offer this one,  so I’m using a cluster of other apps to teach myself with aids from YouTube). 

It’s a challenge to learn 3 languages,  but one that I’m willing to try,  and bonus it’s distracting me from my current pain!

Here’s to becoming multilingual and pain free! 

Farewell Cupcakes, and bread and….

So through the videos that I linked in my last post, and “The Depression Cure”, I’m discovering that my pregnancy diet isn’t just my diet. It’s a thing for a lot of people and many more that don’t even know it yet.

The videos swear that if I follow the food regimen, which they call Auto-Immune Paleo Diet, for the rest of my life- I could potentially heal completely and never need thyroid medicine ever again. At that point, it is more of a lifestyle choice, such as “The Depression Cure” suggests.

I’m discovering that there isn’t much difference between the dietary guidelines discussed in “The Depression Cure” and the Auto-Immune Paleo Guidelines. The biggest difference is that  the Paleo variety is really really focused on eliminating immune response, so you have to eliminate anything that triggers your immune system. They acknowledge that this can be different for everyone, but there are certain seemingly universal (or pertain to most people) elements, such as: Dairy, Glutens/grains, soy, eggs, and Nightshade Family vegetables, and often Peanuts.

I would hypothesize that the peanuts, being less universal, might be a combination of their Omega 6 heavy nature, along with the fact that Peanuts tend to have higher levels of  toxic pesticides and herbicides on them- at least compared with other nuts- and maybe that is because it is technically a legume growing on the ground. A double whammy. Which, The Thyroid Secret discusses the fact that a lot of Thyroid patients are having problems that are literally cumulative over time, and often are not dealt with until symptoms , and thus thyroid damage, are severe. Ultimately, an issue of toxicity gradually overwhelming the immune system. Thus, it would make sense that peanuts would land on the list.

I find it interesting that “The Depression Cure” lays out a diet based upon what “uncivilized” or aboriginal people would eat, and those same qualities are found in the Paleo diet based on paleolithic men. Beyond that most of the common “allergens” or “immune triggers” are just not commonly found in those diets. “The Depression Cure” doesn’t specifically state to avoid those items, just to eat the others. Yet both guideline systems have eerily similar statements about what to eat and to make it a permanent lifestyle choice, and they also have very similar results.

Of course they do. Thyroid problems can and often do cause Depression. Inflammation (immune response) -especially in the brain- can and often does cause Depression. Of course this is all one and the same issue. It doesn’t matter if you are diagnosing from the Depression, or the Thyroid/other organ malfunction, or the inflammation manifesting in the body or brain (RA, joint or connective tissue diseases).  It’s all the same problem.

I can see that now that I am actively trying to fix both problems at the same time, and conveniently finding  or being given the right information. It’s all falling into place and making sense.

Inflammation is the root cause of so many problems, diseases, and disorders, and of course our diet would be the #1 cause of inflammation in our bodies. YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT!

Do you know how many times kids used that on me growing up? I could never figure out how my obesity was evidence of that, when they were downing just as many Doritos, Cheetos, and Little Debbie snacks as I was. Why was what I ate showing on my body, and what they ate wasn’t? Now years later I’m discovering that even if it didn’t visually show on them then, it would eventually accumulate enough to cause them some kind of problem. There’s little solace in that.

If someone had told me when I was 12- “Even though your thyroid isn’t completely malfunctioning right now, it will be unless you change your diet. This will suck short term, learning how to change, but long term you’ll be glad you did. You need to eat like this or your life will be full of pain, fatigue, and depression.” … I would have done it. I would have taken the greens over depression  for 20 years in a heartbeat. I might have been like every other teen and balked at the idea, or drug my heals in doing it, but as soon as relief was felt I know I would have kept with it.

So, now that I’m back on the bandwagon, and I’m cleaning my diet back up. Where do I go from here.

I’m starting to feel better again, and though the scale doesn’t register weight loss, I know I’m thinning because of the way my clothes fit and what people are saying to me. That makes me feel good. It always helps to know that I’m looking better when I’m also starting to feel better too.

With that being said, my body still has sags and folds from the pregnancy. This is libel to make that worse. I can’t afford a surgery to remove excess skin, and I have no idea how long it takes for skin to naturally shrink back up. I guess I’ll have to start getting creative now with ways to convince myself that the loose skin is fine. Mind over matter that one- and now that my brain is working better, I should be able to do that.

I want to feel attractive, but loose skin does tend to make that difficult, so I will start working on focusing on other things to reinforce my beauty in my own mind. Nathan swears that he finds me beautiful regardless of what my body looks like. I love him so much, and appreciate every word of that.

The diet isn’t easy, and makes me want to never go grocery shopping ever again. Do you know how few items in a grocery store are actually edible for me? That will definitely be my biggest challenge. Even today I went to Whole Foods and got a salad which had eggs, tomatoes and dairy dressing. After tossing the eggs and tomatoes in the compost bin, I relegated to one last dairy product.  There are so very few items in pre-made food that I could just grab and eat. It seems I will be forever picking things out or creating substitutions. That’s hard for me. Sometimes I just want to be able to be “normal”, but I’m discovering that the better way to look at it is: “Is living in pain for the rest of your life normal?” Because that is what everyone else is likely to experience, if they are not currently, at some point in their life they are likely to experience something that will require medication to mask symptoms, and possibly not even successfully at that. I at least have a chance at healing, if I stick with it and give my body optimum nutrition. I’ll take that chance.

SO, finally, I’m left with what lesson to take away from 22 years of struggle to find out it could all have been avoided and fixed long ago with permanent diet changes. I think for me it is about education. Since I couldn’t find a way around the 22 years of pain- physical and mental, maybe, just maybe I can help others avoid it. SO, I’ll probably contrive a nutrition class for our home-schoolers, and maybe find a way to speak to middle and high-schoolers in public and private schools.

I’m not much of a speaker right now. I get by when I have to, being more of an introverted personality, a bit shy. But I think this one is important. I have no idea how, but I’ll go about it like the trailer remodel- one piece, one step at a time. Maybe 10 years from now I’ll have affected millions of kids and become famous. Who knows. Right now I just want to help people avoid spending 2 decades in pain like I did. If I can help even a few people do that then my journey was worth it. NAMASTE and AHO!