My husband’s focus on and help of BLM, has attracted himself racist doctors.
They displayed black-man-on-medicaid syndrome.
It doesn’t matter that society has poisoned the entire race for centuries in toxic attitudes, hate campaigns, and even poisoning their water and food supplies. No, all of that hate, only led to disease that has afflicted so many of them that they are now overwhelmed with a race of diseased people. They start turning blind eyes on the details and glazing over moments when those people are trying to tell them something is wrong or symptoms that would help.
It wasn’t until I showed up in scrubs and lost it on them using language they understood. It wasn’t until the educated white woman stood up for her spouse demanding answers and solutions, that they started listening and actually started to fix it. He went from 3 months of failing adequacy to passing it in one week.
That is wrong.
I am just realizing the intensity and weight of this situation.
My husband was being shuffled off as an ignorant black-man-on-medicaid and not worth their time and effort to manage properly.
My husband, my love, my college-educated smart, intelligent husband. My husband already knows what discrimination looks like, he has had that his whole life, and he’s spent decades fighting it and doing his best to prove them otherwise.
But when your life depends on someone else’s technology, medicine, and prescription, it is the last place for discrimination.
And sadly I know he is not alone. He is not the only one going to that clinic. He is not the only one being given that treatment.
It is wrong.
But if I fight this matter I worry that I will attract more of it, both literally and figuratively.
You simply get what you focus on. My husband’s only mistake was the focus given to fighting discrimination. His focus should have been on equal rights and equal treatment. His focus should have been on total equality, fair, equal, balanced, equality for all. They wrongs are done and past, and we all need equality in every aspect of out lives. But we’ll never get to the equality ground if we keep focusing so intently on what still happens too often.
Luckily, when I had my meltdown, it was with one person that had actually cared for a family member of hers, on dialysis. I realize now the turning moment was when, I was crying talking about having to call an ambulance while I took my kids to the neighbors, and followed in the next breath with if you kept waking up at 3am to your husband in trouble you’d take less than 3 weeks to fix it. I snapped her out of black-man-on-medicaid by tugging on her emotional connection to her family.
It is sad, but true.
I don’t want rath, I don’t need punishment, I just want the system to change and stop hurting someone I love.
Medicine has hurt me, my parents, my brother, and now my husband too. Enough is enough.
I want better. I deserve better. I deserve healing for everyone in my life. I deserve a medical system that actually cares about people. First do no harm was lost long before it ever actually mattered, and no one seems to care to get it back.
May you know how to attract better into your life. May you never see the touch of discrimination because we actually truly live equally. May you understand we are all in this together. May you understand we all deserve a choice, and we all deserve treatments that actually work. May you know that above all the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.
*stock photo from Pexels library