Tag Archives: divine interaction

Another Dream Message

I just woke from this weird dream and knew it was another one of my psychic dream messages. It’s been awhile, so even though I’m confused, I’m a bit excited too. So I’m going to do my best to write a coherent blog post at 8am having just woke up.

Background:

This week I switched to another office because the other massage therapist had essentially forfeited her claim to it. It was the office where the chiropractor was able to install the ceiling bar for my need to walk/stand on people, after having hurt my shoulder mildly. I’ve used the office a few times because of the bar, but I’m still not used to it. Every room had pros and cons and I’m just still getting used to the mix that this room has. I’m not entirely comfortable with it just yet. Because of that I’m probably feeling a bit off, and that was definitely either a contributing factor to this dream, or the cue that this message is imminent. In the dream not only was it situated in the new room, but there was a ‘double-booked’ glitch, something that would be a slim to none possibility in my real world experience.

The other factor of this dream seems to be my 3 people, love interests, that have been running in my thoughts for a long while now, but which I had totally given up on. If you’re a regular reader you already know. For those that don’t, the shortest version is: 1- the online person (supposedly Indian immigrant) I fell in love with because I could feel their responses and emotions; 2- a second person they are connected to, either significant other or sibling, whom I also could feel to a lesser degree; 3- another man I could also feel. I gave up on all 3 of them completely, but this dream seems to have nudged me to contemplate them again. In the dream they looked different than previous dreams, so I’m not sure what that means. The man was still same gender and ethnicity, but looked way different. Also in this dream the other two were Asian, but not from India. It leaves me scratching my head a bit. I’m not sure how to interpret that except that maybe God is going to send me those substitutes that I said I was willing to take.

So now the dream:

I looked at my schedule and saw two appointments. I took a guess and went to retrieve the one I thought would show up first, a man. As I walked him back I explained there was a scheduling error and asked him if he had longer that he could wait if I needed to adjust. He said “No, I’ve only got until 8:30 I have to get to work”. I said okay I’ll try and make sure you’re first. As I opened the door to my room, there was already two people in the room and the woman had already gotten on the table between the sheets. I apologized to the man and said please wait a few minutes, and I’ll try to figure out a solution.

I went into the room and started to ask questions, trying to figure out if I could have them wait and use my old room for the man in the hall. The woman spoke very little English, so the man sitting with her would either translate, or just answer for her. She was pregnant and having sciatic pain (super common). As I asked questions about pregnancy and pain details I began to poke at her piraformis muscle (middle of butt cheek). He told me she was 3rd trimester and the pain had come and gone, but this week it was severe. Again that is very common so I proceeded to work the muscles as usual and was thinking about what to do with the man standing in the hall. Suddenly the woman started writhing and grunting and I tried to get her to stretch out on her side. Instead she balled up into fetal position.

I knew she was having a contraction, but that doesn’t necessarily mean full labor had started. I asked the man sitting with her, about birth plans. Then I called the man in from the hall and told him I needed his help. I had him notify the front desk, had him call 911, and then I had him call my midwife. I asked my midwife if she was close or if she could walk me through things over the phone until paramedics could accommodate their original plan. I started directing people to fetch things and do things. I promised the double-booked man that if he could stay and help I’d give him a free massage later and make it very much worth his while. I promised that he wouldn’t regret it, and I understood if he needed a minute to call his work.

That’s when I woke up.

Needless to say I know God gave me another message, but now I’m extra confused. Can’t help but feel excited though.

May you understand your messages from God. May you know you are on the right track. May you know just what to do in sticky situations. May you feel the calm knowing of being able to handle emergencies. May you know you have your proverbial shit together. May you know God loves and supports you. May you know everything will be alright.

Siva Hir Su

My experience of Allopathic America

I’m writing today to discuss my current situation and treatment goal, but also to expound on how Allopathic medicine is now a money maker and no longer concerned with general health, well-being or full healing. I of course am only speaking to my experience and knowledge which lies in the Great US of A.

So if you’ve been a regular reader you know the basics. If not the more brief synopsis is:

I’ve lived with undiagnosed thyroid concerns since I was 12 years old, the lonely unknown battle took it’s toll with severe suicidal depression (medications did not solve) and uncontrollable weight. Then, I met a lady on a train when I was 29 that cued me onto iodine and thyroid supplements. Because it was helping her and we had similar histories, I tried it, and lost 45 pounds in a month and then found myself pregnant. When I was 31 I gave birth to my son and my thyroid crashed hard, enough I almost killed myself and I was forced to seek help. Then began my journey dealing with doctors and trying to get accurate dosing and helpful medication to begin with. It forced me to begin learning about thyroid disease, medications and lab testing. I have since battled with doctors to keep my thyroid managed well and have utilized the Auto-immune Paleo diet, iodine supplementation, and seaweed to accomplish most of the relief I have gleaned, I intentionally work very hard to keep my need for medication low. I exercise regularly, can lift quite a bit of weight and am healthy by all measurable standards except body weight. Yet I knew something still wasn’t right when in January I could feel my thyroid irritating my voicebox. After an ultrasound finding multiple nodules on my thyroid, I spoke with one of my clients that has had a similar journey. She filled me in on a treatment she had done to eliminate a virus that had been hiding in her body slowly damaging her thyroid and other organs. It completely healed not just the virus, but the damage to her organs too. It was expensive so I put it in the back of my mind and said eventually I will get there.

However, God seems to think I need to act sooner. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago.

I got what I thought was strep throat, and not my first round of it. What I was dealing with looked and acted like it. The doctor begrudgingly did a swab that came back negative, but since I had already started the antibiotics and Prednisone she ordered I finish the doses out. Right as the strep throat symptoms were ending I got a nasty rash on my upper thigh. It at first looked like standard hives, so I was perplexed thinking I reacted to the antibiotics and Prednisone when I never had before. Then larger blisters appeared in the center of the rash and they hurt like crazy. I couldn’t figure it out at first and the doctor had pissed me off so bad with how she handled the strep swab that I knew I didn’t want to deal with her again. I prayed on it and did some meditations and otherwise kept moving and functioning, but was careful to be mindful of mask wearing in case the perceived strep was something else entirely.

Two days into the rash I remembered the conversation with my client about the virus and the treatment that was done to solve it, and the memory just nagged and nagged at my brain. I looked up the virus she had talked about, it was the Epstein-Barr Virus (see here for wikipedia info). Interestingly, that virus can mimic strep throat and occasionally does cause a nasty rash. I had never had the rash before but have had strep several times where it didn’t come back as positive on strep tests. I decided to skip the doctor and test the theory myself. First I did the acute mononucleosis test for $69, that in theory would catch an active EBV infection. It came back negative, which apparently 25% of tests can be false negative because of how the test looks for the virus. So I decided to do the more thorough Chronic EBV test. $169 later I was holding test results that showed really high values for only one of four of the antibody markers. The other 3 were in negative range. But the one antibody was so ridiculously high that the test results came with a disclaimer that it was significant of a recent infection. So I had my smoking gun. I was in fact dealing with an EBV infection, and one that was good at hiding in my body and not triggering all of the antibodies.

Like my client had told me, EBV can hide in the body for years and does a whole host of damage to various organs, the thyroid just being one. It can also damage both the pancreas and liver, which are the other organs I have noticable difficulty with, manifesting in my food sensitivities and glucose control. If left unchecked EBV can also lead to multiple cancers and lukemias.

So now I finally had an ‘Ah Ha’ moment. I finally knew the cause of my 25 year journey of ill health despite having been to many doctors in 4 states during that time period. I have in my hands, proof of the virus being in my body in a chronic way. It is most likely the cause to all my concerns, and if I can clear my system long enough I can enable my organs to heal and health to return.

Enter the treatment my client did.

She went to a functional medicine doctor that discovered her Chronic EBV infection and he did a treatment called IV Oxygenation Therapy. The doc costs an initial consult of $600 plus $100 per month subscription fee which covers up to two office visits. The IV treatment is $2000.00, and if I haven’t already done all the labwork he needs then there may be other additional costs. Insurance, if you have it, would only cover labwork, I don’t anyway and I am always cash pay. So I need essentially $3000.00 to attempt to kill the virus and damaged tissues and instigate full healing. However, the process is hard on the system, so my client had explained she was down for 5 or 6 days afterwards because of the cellular die-off and detoxing, so I will also have to account for missing a week of work as well.

Beyond my frustrations over cost and managing to actually implement something with the potential to end my battle for health, I am super frustrated at the awareness I now have of our medical system.

Essentially, a dozen+ doctors in multiple offices in four different states and 10 different cities over 25 years, and none of them even came remotely close to really truly accurately diagnosing the problem. Every last one of them either gave up easily (as with the “low side of normal” tests from childhood) or decided to treat the one symptom of low thyroid function.

If I had not taken the time to educate myself on the problem I was faced with and kept digging knowing that something was still wrong, then I could have spent 30 to 40 years taking thyroid meds to end up with cancer and potentially die from it.

Western medicine as it currently stands in America is concerned with two things. 1) A minimum of treatment to ensure you stay alive, not well, just alive. 2) Making money indefinitely via treatment of symptoms only, rare cases like certain cancers they will treat with the premise of eradicating the disease, but still favor expensive treatment over cheaper more effective options.

You may wish to disagree with me on either, but evidence is piling up to support both.

I have written on several occasions in regards to how elder care and instutionalized medicine are more concerned with keeping an elderly person alive than actually providing the ability to live life. It is how we end up with people bed bound or wheelchair bound for years at the end of their life. Unable to do many tasks, but still alive and suffering. I have directly worked with dozens of such people where my massages are intended to help prevent skin tears, bed sores, and maybe just maybe provide a little relief from discomfort of being frozen in place.

But yet, it’s more than that. Part two listed above is very evident for me. Not one doctor ever said, your thyroid is struggling, there’s potential we could solve that and get you back to normal. No, in Western Medicine normal is live on this drug until you die. If that drug quits working we’ll double the dose or switch to another. Never is it, try to heal you and get you back to normal.

Even with cancer, the goal is cut and chemo and radiation. We now have several options that have better potential at lower costs, liquid Vitamin C at massive doses can kill cancer, turmeric extract has also been shown to have similar results, and beyond that we now have Car-T. But Car-T is too effective, even though it is still expensive, it only takes one full round of treatment and 99% of cancer can be completely healed. It simply cuts their profit margin by too much.

Any treatment that offers the potential for full healing is either sidelined by the AMA and CDC or is outright attacked by both. The more clinical and lab tested something is, the less they are able to attack it, but if it cuts profits then it will never be fully supported.

So, if you as a reader, want a real solution to whatever health problem you are facing, then you have to do the following:

  • Take charge of the problem, learn everything you can on the subject and follow the rabbit hole as far as it will lead you. Even then you might need to dig a little further.
  • Learn to read the labs of anything that needs tested. It’s not hard and the information is readily available if you know the trusted resources to seek out. If you get fuzzy on interpretation there are usually forums where people discuss their lab results.
  • The hardest part- Find a doctor that: 1- isn’t threatened by your intelligence and concern for your own health, and 2- might have alternate solutions or is at least willing to try something you propose. You may have to seek alternatives to your standard MD.
  • Finally, listen to your intuition. God wants you to heal and will give you the breadcrumbs to follow, but you have to trust that process. If something feels wrong it is, if something feels missed it is, if something feels right it is, if something nags at you- look into it, it probably means something important. Trust and God will guide you to a real solution.

As for me, I finally have a plan for a potentially final but expensive step. My biggest hurdle is money and I’ve overcome that one many times. I know I can do it again. I will do my best to allow and know that timing is everything. God will enable me to fix this for once and for all, and I will have avoided the worst case scenario for this disease.

As for you: may you have the solutions you seek. May you always have the proper resources when you need them. May you find helpful doctors that listen and do their best to meet your needs and find real solutions for your problems. May you trust God and be able to follow the breadcrumbs. May you see the solution you seek. May you understand that you are loved and supported. May you have the support you need from those around you. May you feel the love and support when it is needed most. May you know God wants you to be well. May you find the joyous healthy life you desire.

Siva Hir Su

Keeping my word.

Years ago, before my online romance SJ, I promised God that if he helped me pull up I would do my best to do good for God.

Now it seems that my long lost SJ helped me pull up enough that I have regained my balance in this world. I have gotten to a place where I can help others to some degree.

First was my desire to help Chairty Water. I originally started with the tiniest monthly contribution, and now I am able to match what I spend on our TV entertainment each month. It’s a step in the right direction.

Second was my dad. He is now with my sister and the few remaining pieces are slowly resolving. Beyond the healing that enabled for me, I’m glad that he has gotten what he wanted.

Now I have two new situations I am doing my best to help with.

The friend I wrote of with MRSA. Nathan paid a visit to her in the hospital and took flowers. It was simply an acknowledgement that 10 years ago when he was in a similar situation, I- as his wife, was his only visitor. So, he didn’t want her to feel the same way. While there he discovered that her wife had left her and was living with someone else, and her mother and father are AWOL because they are battling their addictions and mental diseases and unable to even be civil human beings. She has no one significant in her life. She has friends only, some of which have already helped and some of which are willing to do more as able. She has two weeks left of her 6 week hospital stay, and then she has no solid plan. The infection was mostly surgically removed, except for a small spot in the left ventricle of her heart, but she now has a massive incision in her groin needing dressing changes. It’s eerily similar to Nathan’s original surgery and predicament.

Anyway after my workday was over Nathan filled me in on his visit and everything they spoke about. I reached out to her and offered our home in the same way I did for my father. I also offered to help her with PT and getting to and from post hospital appointments. I even suggested that I might be able to connect her with a job when she is able to return to work.

It felt really good to be able to do that. It’s really not much; in the grand scheme of things, the changes to our utilities and grocery bills are small enough to not even hesitate. I knew that her need for a space to be able to heal and regain her strength was far more important to God, so I know it will work out. I wish more people were able to do that for fellow human beings. We all need each other sometimes.

The other situation I’m doing my best to help with is the friend and co-worker that had the lump in her breast that I had initially checked to try and help guide her decisions. I had really hoped it was nothing and my gut reaction was off, but it has been diagnosed as cancer. Full ramifications are not known yet, but I know that she is super stressed and worried. I’ve been saying prayers and offering everything that comes to mind. My latest offer is to learn her job at the clinic, off the clock, so that I might be able to help fill in or help train a replacement if needed. I will do whatever is needed because she is a kind human being that needs the support right now. I have been racking my brain reaching for more that I might be able to offer, but she has many friends and family, so I think I have offered what is possible for now. Prayers are always welcome.

Sometimes God really does want us to reach for good for ourselves so that we can help others in the long term. I have learned that lesson in a very palpable way today. Simply because of depression riddled pleas 6 years ago, I have managed to slowly climb myself out of the hole and into being able to help others. There is still a long ways that I can go yet, but I’m extremely grateful that I have made it this far. I am so grateful that I am able to take steps to keep my word with God. I promised I would help him if he helped me, and that is what I am doing. Everyday I help people through my jobs, and now I can even help outside of my jobs.

I really do have my baby Atira. My home is not the big complex dome community of my dreams, but all of the things are present, and especially the charitable works. That was always the most important part anyway.

Beyond that God is healing me. Slowly but surely I know my body is healing and very soon I will have healed every bit of my previous concerns. I can feel and see the difference. I am ever so grateful for that too because I know it is giving me massive amounts of energy to do all of the things I am doing. My body healing is a direct correlation to being able to help others even more. I am so very grateful for all of God’s grace in my life. I hope I can properly honor all the good that has flowed through me.

May you see your place in the world. May you honor the good that has manifested in your life. May you understand how God helped you. May you see that there are people who care and want to help you when you need it most. May you find the ways to return the favors. May you find a way to flow good to others on behalf of God. May you see and understand that God loves and supports you, and wants the best for you, all you need to do is let God in. May you know you are loved.

Siva Hir Su

*The picture is my original. Monarch butterfly on orange zinnia flower. Taken at Kauffman Gardens, Kansas City, Missouri.