Tag Archives: divine masculine

Humanity’s root dis-ease.

Toxic masculine. AKA stress.

Epstein-Barr virus, COVID, and several others, they are “contagious-disease” symptoms of the root cause. Our body let’s the contagion in, when stress let’s defenses down. The how of your stress and the environment you’re aware of, determines the contagion and physical impact that is enabled.

Diabetes, cardiovascular concerns, cirrhosis of the liver, pancreatitis, hashimoto’s or really any thyroiditis, and any one of a couple dozen cancers are the long-term damage symptoms of the same root cause; except they are the direct result of the contagious-diseases that resulted from the root cause.

To solve it you must do your best to work backwards and work up.

Solve the long-term damages by providing your body with every healing element. Allow your body to return to the  parasympathetic nervous system response, and nourish it as fully and optimally as possible to heal damaged areas. Easier said than done.

Solve the contagious diseases that were allowed in. That requires nourishing your immune system fully once all of the damages have been healed, and continuing to stay in parasympathetic functioning for as long as your body needs to eject those viruses and bacteria.

Once you’ve healed all of the symptoms you must figure out how to keep yourself out of toxic masculinity stress, in order to stay that way for life. Again easier said than done.

You may have noticed: (if you are educated on parasympathetic vs sympathetic responses) that eliminating our body’s and brain’s response to stress is the main factor in fixing all of it. Proper optimum nutrition, much more than basic nutrition, is secondary but equally important.

Those two factors alone will heal more than anything else.

If you can accomplish them.

See toxic masculinity, AKA stress, is everywhere you look these days. I could come up with a million examples of I had the time to write. Instead I’m going to give a fairly random sample in much shorter list form. It’s what I have time for.

  • Addiction. To anything. Is stress on the body.
  • Fatigue, because of any reason, is stress on the body and brain.
  • Allergies are a symptom of stress in the immune system.
  • Depression, anxiety, manic moments, are all symptoms of stress in the brain.
  • Muscle cramps are symptoms of stress in the muscles.
  • Arthritis is a symptom of stress in the the joints.
  • Inflammation is the stress response in the body’s tissues.
  • Pain can be a symptom of any of these. It is a signal of stress’ damage.

In our environment stress is just as plentiful. General first, specific second.

  • Politics. Especially one side arguing with another.
  • Censorship. One side wants to silence the other side. Yet if we silence one we have to silence both. Then where do you end up?
  • People ignoring each other, especially if it is because of race, gender, or any belief or view.
  • Religions ignoring people or treating anyone as less than. Anyone treating anyone else, as less than.
  • Inequality.
  • Imbalance.
  • Disrespect.
  • Disdain.
  • Intolerance.
  • Telling anyone they are wrong or inappropriate, especially if physical harm is not involved (the one being told they are inappropriate harmed none).
  • Unsupported.
  • Unloved.
  • Pushing for longer, harder, better, faster, more.
  • Men belch and talk with their mouths full, yet women (ladies) are expected to be proper and do the opposite.  If you don’t like us doing it, then maybe you shouldn’t either. And if you know it’s impossible to be perfect, don’t expect us to be perfect either.
  • Toxic is drinking or drugs for recreation. The assumption that under the influence, enables fun or more enjoyment. Drugs can be medicine when used properly, and alcohol was once the only safe drink, but inundating your system in an effort to produce more enjoyment is rarely effective and frequently damaging.
  • Women are not allowed to be lead clergy in many faiths. Why? Who said we are incapable? Not all women wish to bear children, and if men can escape that responsibility, then we should be able to as well. There is no logical reason to prevent women from being clergy, because any reason given, could be applied to men, except that it would cause them to be defensive and produce reasons why that is wrong. If the reasons are wrong for men, then they are wrong for women too.
  • Power, influence, and global resources, being restricted to mostly older white males. It’s why I have so much respect for Oprah. She managed to become what none other could, and she has dark skin and a vagina. She broke every rule and she’s the only one of both color and female gender. She earned every ounce of what she has, and deserves all of it.
  • Race ever being a factor in anything. There are bad people in every race, and here in America all too often police look the other way when it’s a rich, even middle-class, white kid…..  I’ve met dozens white people that had been druggies since middle school and never got punished, often never even got caught, and by no special circumstances. But every black person I’ve ever met that even smoked weed, has stories of running from cops and being in juvie. It’s a long standing imbalance. If you can look the other way over the white people and let them slide, then you can do the same for the black people or any other race. And if that thought makes you cringe, then all races should be punished equally.
  • Toxic masculinity is letting banks raise rates faster than wages can keep up, it is fighting over shutting society down and not making financial institutions follow suit.
  • It’s employers punishing for illness absences, but not providing tools for genuine health. All while allowing food manufacturers to use ingredients that stress bodies into illness, and ignoring that doctors are not actually educating us towards health.
  • It’s pushing and nagging all of society to buy more constantly, and forcing technology upgrades (5G) when we’ve just been through a pandemic where many people suffered massive financial strain.
  • It fuel at $3+ a gallon now that everyone is having to go back to driving to work. We haven’t even recuperated from the financial strains of COVID and 5G, and fuel makers are manipulating our return to work. Yet there are no incentive programs to buy Tessela cars or make EVs more plentiful.
  • It’s working people too sick and dieing, and God not dropping money from the sky.
  • It’s a society full of stressed sick people, and the less sick having to work, and do their best to support and take care of the more sick.
  • It’s toxic chemicals being used in agriculture under the premise of higher yields, but even when decades of data indicates that failed, we continue to dump toxic chemicals on our foods and poison ourselves and our world for no significant benefit.
  • It’s fracking for natural gas, and causing more diseases from chemicals entering water supplies. Even further causing earthquakes in areas that are fairly far from accepted fault lines (where we would never expect earthquakes in those areas at all).
  • It’s wars against anyone or anything.
  • It is taking playful challenges and athleticism, and making it far too serious, especially at too young of ages.
  • It’s failing to teach balance in an effort for bigger, faster, stronger, longer, and even more failing to properly and fully address any injuries or illness incurred as a result of such.
  • Anytime struggle of any kind, becomes a mental threat, all bets are off and you are already under the influence of toxic masculinity.
  • Anytime damages are incurred, and time or resources for healing are dictated by external influences. If time and resources do not meet the needs of the individual, that is toxic masculinity.

Everywhere you look toxic masculinity has caused stresses, and it is an unstoppable snowball hurtling down the hill at breakneck speeds. No one is going to be able to stop it. God could, but it would take giving those that have suffered the most in a state of unknowing innocence or in futile efforts, everything that they need for full healing, while simultaneously eliminating those that instigated or increased suffering knowingly.

What simply boggles my mind is the faction of 1%ers that are in support of all of it, in a desire to thin the herd. They seem to believe that they are immune and will clear the other side unscathed. Yet there is an underlying (or is it overlying) divinity that supercedes masculine and feminine, and that divinity is charged with restoration of balance at all costs. If the rest of us die because of toxic masculinity, stirred and motivated by that small faction, then the divine will right the balance in whatever way it sees fit, and the 1%ers are not as safe as they believe. They are no more safe than any of the rest of us, they just don’t see their version coming.

May you find a way to restore balance in your life and for anyone that you are directly responsible for. May we all see how to shut out as much of the toxic masculinity as possible. May we all see our path to healing as being illuminated before us. May we all have the resources and time we need just fall from the sky. May healing become easy and may we all have all of the time and resources we need just as easily. May masculinity return to safe and wholesome levels throughout our entire world. May divine feminines find their power and utilize it fully for all that it is capable of. May humanity not just survive, but find a way to restore balance while thriving. May all those in favor of humanities’ demise- find their own, less swift and more painful, but equally surprising demise. May we all be loved and supported and find a way to feel that love and support even when already impacted by the toxicity. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

World

This song resonated for me this evening. Then when I went to find the video to link, watching it has an even more intense message. It fits with things on my mind lately, this man’s world has left much to be desired, and what I see is really far from the fairy tales my heart desires. A woman’s love in a man’s world, not solving a damn thing because man’s world seems loveless.


On an entirely different note (or is it?): A 36 year old, seemingly-healthy-male in my world, admitted he has been diagnosed with high blood pressure.

On one hand, that doesn’t seem like a big deal, there’s far worse things to be diagnosed with. You could totally ignore it for quite some time before it causes greater concerns. Or can you?

The other hand reveals: my husband was told of his mildly high blood pressure and borderline diabetes when he was 40 (4 years older than this other person in my life). Currently: my husband is on dialysis, and has an enlarged heart, but still has blood pressure concerns, and diet controlled diabetes. His hope to live a healthy life, lies in transplants and machines. …. The enlarged heart became an immediate and acute concern 3 months before his 48th birthday (8 years after initial warnings). Kidney failure at 58, after an unknown viral infection.

I feel like it warrants warning, and education, and immediate changes to correct blood pressure, before it’s even a problem. That could buy many more good years for someone so young.

Yet, this same person has made comments about my husband’s lack of response to life’s “wake-up calls”, and comments of assumptions about what Nathan has or hasn’t done over the years. Never actually having prolonged inquisitive conversations with me or him.

Do I make those same assumptions about him? Do I let it pass with an awareness he’s likely to blow-off the high blood pressure just like Nathan did early on, because Nathan’s doctors didn’t educate him on ramifications, choices and options (at least beyond pills)?

Or … Do I take the high road and assume that he’s already doing something about it, that he’s just aware enough to know there are choices and options and he’s working with them to correct the problem?

Or… Do I assume neither and randomly (or even strategically) offer suggestions that might just bounce off of him, knowing that my words frequently, even bounce off of people that actually care what I have to say? A desire to educate and help, does nothing if someone isn’t open to all of your answers. That, I have lots of experience in.

And unfortunately, I have even more experience doing my best to help those whom assume I am no help in the first place. My entire biological family wrote me off, because I was the youngest, and a girl, and chose to work as a massage therapist and artist. You know that must mean I’m an idiot: just a stupid little girl. My brothers were fond of those words when I was little. Though they don’t say them to me as an adult, my brain heard them enough times it echoes the words in the gaps of their speech. They simply don’t even need to say them anymore. I’m well trained. And when so well trained, you manifest what you believe, so no one listens to this stupid little girl, hardly ever.

So really, it’s futility to even try. I’ve manifested a loop that is nearly impossible to break. I know because I now appreciate my own intelligence in a way that no one else does, and have for quite some time. I know I have good, well informed messages, that many ignore and nearly all fail to notice. I’m an insignificant blip on the world map, but one that could help millions, if only I could believe anyone cared that much.

Yet, all of this, and the one concept I’m struck with most is we’re all sick because of toxic masculinity.

Toxic masculinity:

  • Stress induced high blood pressure in your mid 30’s or early 40’s, none of us should have that much stress, that young.
  • Doctors failing to educate patients on preventative measures of all kinds, and moreso failing to educate fully on ramifications of unchecked disease. Failing to educate on anything, even with thier own medical staff, is toxic masculinity because they are short time to do so, under paid, over worked, and equally stressed. They are suffering the affliction(s) they are supposed to be trained to heal.
  • Doctors failing to diagnose underlying root causes or diseases. See I’m aware enough, because of my own journey, that I know EBV causing thyroid damage can manifest in men as cardiovascular concerns. He literally could have the same problem as me, just the male body version. That would be ironic. But the toxic masculinity is evident in that: I wonder if anyone has even checked him for any chronic disease beyond the HBP label, and I highly doubt it. And did they even rule out anything but stress being the cause? Stress is easy to fix if you know for certain that is the only cause- that’s the catch.
  • Women bearing love in an unreceptive world.
  • Women being treated as the music video indicates.
  • Children learning as the music video indicates.
  • Abuse, negative thoughts, mental patterns being brainwashed generation after generation. All symptoms of toxic masculinity.
  • My brothers childhood opinions becoming ingrained so well that they create self-fulfilling prophecies.
  • Assumptions about anything or anyone.

All of those are very good examples of the ruin that toxic masculinity has wreaked upon this world. It’s up to every single one of us to do our level best to heal as much as we are humanly able. No one person can solve it all, but together there might be hope for humanity. And who knows, maybe healing some of that crap will enable a few of the fairly tales to become just believable enough to manifest for some people.

May you heal yourself and in turn help heal the world. May you see that even seemingly benign diagnosis’ can and should be wake up calls. May you be more forgiving of those that missed that memo, or never got the memo to begin with, or had the doctor that missed the memos. May you know that those of us that suffered are here to help others learn how to escape ill fate, but that it requires a desire and openness to learn from survivors. May you know that you are here for a reason and everything in your experience has the potential to make you a better person. May you be patient with yourself and others, and kind when things go wrong. May you see how best to interact with others and provide helpful messages in a way they can be received. May you know you are always doing your best, even when you fail to handle life in a way that fully supports your own living. May you know for certain we are all in this together, we all have battles and struggles to overcome, and each of us is just a unique set doing our best. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Undecided

I’m feeling the need to write one single solitary post that is a lie. I never lie about anything in a serious lengthy sort of way, even white lies have been trained out of me mostly (by work and my mom).

It is partly because of the whole law of attraction thing and it is something I would like to happen. But more it is my intuition saying it is needed.

It has to do with the whole Divine Masculine thing that I have been trying to sort out for myself for ages. It also has to do with family dynamics and something that came up for me in proximity to my Connecticut trip. It’s still confusing to me and so I’ve pushed this thought away several times.

I told Nathan and he knows me so well that he was cornering me with “Are you sure? That’s not really something that you do.”

I told him I’m not sure and that’s why I haven’t done it yet. But, if it helps, I’m all for something that helps. It’s one of those moments where I’ve been trained so well not to lie that it seems wrong, but usually intuition moments for me are completely accurate. The two are not syncing up properly.

Obviously because of the message behind this moment, I’m not going to discuss what root topic is needing this lie post. Can’t spoil the potential results by giving it away ahead of time. And I’m not sure if it will even work. I’m also not sure when or if, I’ll be able to bring myself to complete such task. I’ve already put this off for several months, it may be a couple of more before I manage it.

It’s quite the conundrum.

What would you do if you felt like you were being asked by the other side to lie about something near to your heart?

May you have easy moments of intuition. May you always know exactly what to do and how to do it and why it is requested of you. May you always be comfortable with messages based on your intuition. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

2nd round

A one hour gap led to my 2nd round of exercise for the day. I started early, with 35min of elliptical before work. Now I walk the park near work. Sunshine and 73° a stark contrast to the subzero temps of the week of my birthday, just 2 weeks ago.

This round I’m not listening to music, no I much prefer the sounds of birds chirping and singing. I would sing myself were it not likely to bother others.

I happily wear my scarf as a shawl, just enough coverage to adjust to the light breeze today. I’m so happy to be without a coat.

Today I have been kicking energetic butt.

I do not need a negative skunk of a divine masculine in any form. The divine masculine of this world has not stopped power, greed, or manipulation of the masses. DM has not produced actual healing for many diseases, and especially considering vaccines have not solved many detrimental diseases. Vaccines pretend to help only those never exposed to begin with, and only for certain chosen diseases, but their toxic chemicals do other damage in the process. And toxic chemicals are everywhere anyway, the DM has not stopped corporate greed ruining our food supply with any one of dozens of toxins.

No, I don’t give one shit about the divine masculine in human form or otherwise, because no form it is taking is doing any good for anyone, and there have been no miracles from God in large scale way.

Divine healing looks like miracles. It looks like safe foods and our bodies functioning properly, without more toxic ‘interventions’.

Divine healing is like this sunny day, living life the way it was intended, out in the open with smiles on faces. Divine healing is joy and enjoyment of many activities. Divine healing is businesses functioning and flourishing because they are genuinely helping people (not scaring the shit out of everyone). Divine is goodness in all forms.

This masculine bullshit we have been cowering from is just that- bullshit.

I embrace my feminine, that brings me joy. That has gotten me closer to healing than anyhing that any masculine has said or done. I embrace my inner being because that feels good, that feels like joy.

And my husband, he’s doing the same. I know inside my husband is a healed, radiant, smart, kind being, and I look forward to that showing more again. My husband is intelligent and we both have been doing everything in our power to heal. We both have been putting in more focus and more effort, than anyone wants to acknowledge. The fact that we are doing so much, and still coming up short, is because of all the damage that decades of rampant toxic masculinity enabled.

Toxic masculinity has ruined humanity and left us all zombies. Real zombies are the hordes cowering in fear. Real zombies are the hordes bickering with each other over problems instead of joining forces to find real lasting solutions. Real zombies are all the people giving their power away to greedy corporations because they say this injection will stop the disease. Real zombies are those that vote for the rich guy because he’s not a career politician forgetting he padded his own pockets in the process, but can’t see that the young politicians have people’s genuine concerns at heart because they signed up to try and fix the system.

If you can’t employ your brain to reach for better, see the fallacy of anything, and aim for solutions, then you are already a zombie.


As for me, I’m reaching for better.

I remind myself and my family regularly:

Mind your own self first.

Reach for better and focus on something that feels good.

If you can’t find a solution, then find a way to let go of it so someone else can.

If you’re not living life normally, then you’re not living, and you might as well let go of life itself.

Treat yourself with respect, dignity, and love. If you know that you are doing everything you can correctly, then you have to know that you are doing your best and the rest is up to the actual divine.

Love yourself and give yourself what you need, no matter what that is.


I used my walk and this post to let go of what was bothering me. I used my walk to find appreciation. I am focusing on what I need to feel better. I am honoring my divine self and reaching for better and believing that no matter what, everything is okay.

May you find a way to let go and reach for better. May you see solutions or at least release the need to fight over anything. May you show yourself much needed kindness. May you find things to experience joy and learn to truly live again. May we all see that everything is okay and the divine loves and supports us in all that we aim to do for a greater good. May humanity find peace and living again.

Om Shanti

DM toxic or safe?

So this backslides only slightly on the vibrational scale. I had a set of thoughts and external influences, trigger a message that needs conveyed.

Essentially there is a lot of talk these days about our DF & DM… That’s divine feminine and divine masculine to anyone needing clarification. As my readers know I’m a mix, and Nathan too is a mix. So, I suspect we have at least one of each out there waiting for us, or another person or two that at least balance the mix scales.

I was ‘given’ a video link that spoke to DMs being angry over being put down. Here’s the deal, if you lept to anger, then there’s an element of truth in it for you. We get angry with ourselves for failing to meet ideals, but even more if we’re not even trying very much. Then as humans we push that anger outward to deflect the pain from ourselves. I have lots of experience in this process and still battle it regularly myself. It’s human nature and very difficult to fight. It’s also very understandable to a degree.

What is important to note though is that when DFs start harshing on DMs it’s because we’re referencing toxic ones. My father is a good example.

Toxic DMs rely primarily on anger and lower vibrations. They like the fight and struggle. They like proving themselves more powerful than others and will resort to any means to do so, even emotionally damaging and physically damaging means. AND toxic DMs don’t care who’s in that path. Their own lovers and children often take the brunt of their toxicity. They take the pleasure of the win over any other costs. They live in addictions because it is the only way to find “good” feelings. They never took the time to learn how to climb up the emotional scale and want everyone else to hurt as much as they are, so they can feel better in their pain through the power of domination.

So yes, toxic DMs are a generally an unacceptable place to be, and unfortunately pretty much all of my father’s generation fit that bill. There are always exceptions and even in his generation there were men that found another way, they were not weaker or less of divine masculine. In fact, I and many women, argue those anomalies of the older generation were in many ways better, more capable masculine humans.

Currently many DFs are seeking for a revolution to tip the scales so that our generation and especially younger generations have an overwhelming number of safe and healthy divine masculines.

So what makes a safe and healthy divine masculine?

The biggest element I could put my finger on is that they know how to focus thought and climb the emotional scale. Second biggest for me was that they are secure in their own power and have no need for the battle to prove power.

So, a healthy safe DM can climb the emotional scale and can label all of the positives. Not only can they label their positive feelings, they feel even better when they find a way to express them fully and completely in their own voice and style. They are able to convey their positive emotions to others from a place of confidence. They are able to share love, joy, exuberance, exhilaration, and even ecstasy in safe ways, and even in platonic ways.

Qualifier: this is the ideal, there are some of those emotional levels I still have difficulty reaching, let alone expressing myself. We’re all works in progress, and the more capable you are the less toxicity it allows for.

So generally a quality DM can tell you what they are feeling at any given time. They don’t have to constantly express themselves, but if you ask they can give accurate truthful detailed answers. If they love you, they can say it, and more than just those 3 words. They can tell you why they love you, and what you mean to them in it’s entirety. If they want to hear the same from you they can also express their need for that, and be open to whatever your expression/explanation manifests as.

Even further, a quality DM can climb the scale.

I’ll make up and example:

DM had a shitty day at work and is really angry and frustrated. He takes 5 min to calm before going into family. He expresses his feelings in a calm manner to his SO (significant other), and then explains that he needs a few minutes to clear and refocus. He does that, maybe it takes 10 min, maybe it takes 45, but when he comes back to SO he’s in a much better space and can express what was causing problems and that he’s now focused on XYZ solutions and feeling better. He can use that refocused moment to really notice his SO and express love and appreciation for the patience. (I’m getting better at my moments like this, but I’m still not perfect and I’m utterly grateful Nathan is so patient with me.)

All of these elements were lacking in my father more often than not. “I love you” always came with a “but…”, right up until he stayed with me this summer, and even then it was merely a pause in whatever tangent he was on. He also only ever managed those 3 words and gifts or money to show affection. Additionally, gifts and money would always get flipped later, and used as guilt trips if you screwed up. I got to a point by the time I was in highschool, where I didn’t even want him to give me anything because I knew it would eventually be used against me. I wanted affection, and ultimately that desire brought me Nathan.

Anyway, that second element of not needing the fight for power’s sake: there’s a huge difference between finding joy in playing a game, and needing the struggle.

It doesn’t matter if the power struggle is in sport or an office building. It really can be either, and I have watched both.

My father played the struggle in offices and at home, and never touched a sporting field in his life, but he was constantly intent on making certain everyone knew he was in charge. He would change jobs the instant that people didn’t listen to him and take his advice or suggestions. He constantly berated us at home making sure we knew he was in control of finances and our housing, and that we wouldn’t survive without him. Take the abuse and shut up, because you’d be homeless and starving without me, mentality. Of the whole family, I was always the most vocal about that. I wanted to challenge his power, even as a young child I remember telling my Mom, “He’s making it up to scare us, we should just leave.” She would tell me “where would we go?”, and make me drop it. I was the one in middle school that got in a screaming match with him and threatened to turn him into DHS. He ended the argument with “go ahead, see where it gets you”. Unfortunately, I was 12 and didn’t have the confidence yet to follow through.

But I’ve also seen similar done by sports people. There was a rugby player in college that was abusive to girlfriends not knowing how to shut the extreme masculinity off. Bonus he went through girlfriends like candy because, not only would they get sick of him being too rough, but also because he was only really playing just another game to see what the best girl he could get was. I was still really fat then, so I didn’t make his radar, but even if I had been on his radar, he was nowhere near mine. His behaviors were repulsive to me.

However, many masculines find great fun in games where they essentially beat each other up- kick-boxing, street fighting, boxing, hockey, rugby, and football are all good examples of this. They enjoy the strategy, the physical prowess they get to display, the challenge of reaching the goal of a WIN. Yet a healthy DM can see it is a game and can walk away, especially if it takes to much of a toll on their own being. The same goes for the office power struggle. Masculines can find enjoyment in the challenge and proving themselves capable, but a healthy masculine knows when to let the game go. It doesn’t have to be brought home, and if it reaches unhealthy levels then it’s time to walk away, no matter how entrenched they’ve become.

There are probably other elements that go into separating a toxic DM from a healthy DM, but those seemed like the biggest factors for me. Probably because I know they are my biggest challenges. Despite hating my Father’s behaviors my entire life, I was essentially brainwashed into doing them by experiencing excessive repetition. That same repetition that enables a baby to learn motor skills is what engrained those toxic behaviors in my brain. I have spent every day of motherhood fighting those toxic behaviors, and I have minimized them at this point, but they are far from gone. One day, hopefully soon, I will be able to update that statement with success.

Regardless of your biological gender or your perceived masculinity/femininity, may you find balance in your life and experience healthy levels of gender identity. May you find that you are learning how to move up the emotional scale. May you learn how to express all emotions accurately, truthfully, and safely. May you know that you are reaching for better and every effort towards improvement helps to make our world a better place. May you have someone in your life that is patient when you need it, especially in regards to climbing the emotional scale. May you find you have support and love all around you in regards to being your best self and reaching for healthy gender identity. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do, and wants for us all to master our emotions and heal toxic programming.

Om Shanti