Tag Archives: divine messages

Bizarre Dream

Préface: I Know Mahashivatri is only a couple days away. I am aware of some of the rituals and practices, and leanings of hinduism. I do pay attention to Isha and their activities and videos and thus I have been doing some, but not all of the pre-shivratri meditations. My dream is still bizarre to me, because of my role in the dream.

I had the dream somewhere around 2 am CST this morning (3/9/2021), as I finally woke enough to check time at 2:42 am.

What was this very vivid dream?

It started with people dressing me in attire intended to give me the appearance of a Shivite- long, thick, rich, but otherwise plain looking fabric being wrapped  around me in layers. My breasts had already been covered in a thick flattening tub-top similar to breast bindings, but matching the tan tones of the main fabric. It made me look like an androgenous younger version of Sadhguru himself.

Once fully robed (or is it garbed?) I was led into ceremony. I remember being instructed that at the end of the procession I was to sit on a specific bench in the same posture that Shiva is sometimes depicted. It’s the same pose Sadhguru usually sits in himself. See pic below courtesy of Isha.

https://isha.sadhguru.org/mahashivratri/shiva/shiva-parvati-strange-wedding/

I essentially just walked slowly, surrounded by what seemed like spiritual body-guards wearing similar attire. I was doing my best to maintain posture and composure.

Off to my right there were dancers using fire, and drums were playing a quick beat that made me want to walk faster. There were torches lining the procession path. As I neared my instructed resting place fireworks went off.

As I settled into my instructed pose there was a bright piercing light that emanated from just above the trishula(trident) of the large Shiva statue. It was not the same statue I’m aware of from previous Isha video-events, this statue was almost as large, but was a fully body standing depiction of Shiva. The light beaming down upon me from above, felt like a spotlight that was 10 steps too bright and quite blinding. It caused me to squint and I quickly realized that my face was contorted and tried to adjust my face to the pleasant smile expected of me.

At that point a man began to introduce me as Sadhguru’s appointee.

In the dream I remember very vividly beginning a mental rant directed towards Shiva himself. I’m still working on processing events in my own 3D life from this month and my rant was mostly about that. I was expressing extreme frustration over ‘why the hell I was here when Shiva didn’t really care about the things I care about’. I expressed frustrations over mine and my husband’s healing journey and why don’t we have more to show for our efforts, and why isn’t Shiva doing anything about the larger global picture and Western Medicine causing chaos just to make money off of people knowing they have no plans to actually fix anything. If he’s enlightened and part of divine consciousness then he should be able to miraculously fix things, right?!

I remember in the dream continuing this rant while standing to embrace Sadhguru himself.

Here I was supposedly taking over for an esteemed Yoga and Meditation leader, and I was ranting away at the spirit of Shiva.

Eventually my rant at Shiva caused the dream events to fade away and I woke just enough to feel my body. I felt the Reiki energy on full force and drug my legs from underneath the blanket to release some of the heat it was producing.

It caused me to acknowledge something was afoot in the 5D, and my groggy brain was having difficulty piecing things together.

I simply said I don’t hate Shiva, but I can’t handle the chaos and difficulties indefinitely without some kind of attaboy-good-dog reward. I deserve to experience results of my efforts, and I deserve to see and feel those results in my body and my loved ones. At that point I was just laying on top of the blanket trying to get back to sleep with the heat of the healing energy radiating from me.

At one point in my driftiness, I actually felt my abdominal wall begin to constrict gradually. It is one of the things I have struggled to fix, and I’m currently a bit jealous of a client that was able to have her similar concerns corrected surgically. She took the shortcut for something I’ve been attempting to accomplish on my own since Katherine was born (3 yrs). Last night my abdominals tightened enough that I could feel the misalignment in my spine from them having been too relaxed. I did my best to adjust and pop bones back without loosing the tone that divine energy enabled. It was an odd sensation, but one that I knew was ultimately a good thing. Perhaps it will enable the physical tendons and muscles to regain their rightful consistency and composure in a permanent way, time will tell.

I continued to lay half asleep for the rest of the morning. Alternating between no-mind driftiness similar to meditation, sensing my body, and commenting on things to the divine.

Needless to say when my alarms went off at 6 am I was not ready to get up, and felt like I hadn’t had enough sleep. Of course I really only slept from 10 pm to 2 am, so yeah 4 hours is not a full night’s sleep.

As it is, I’m in a gap at work writing this to try and make sense of all of it. I still don’t fully understand why this archetype speaks to me. I’m a midwestern white girl, with a black husband, and 3 mixed kids, one of which is a teenage stepdaughter. Why does the Hindu God have to be my communicator? It’s not like I fit the expected role for a guru, they’re usually single, chaste, old men. I’m entirely the opposite.

To make matters worse after telling Nathan of my dream I quickly got ready for work and began to head out. As I turned on our van to drive away, the sound that greeted my ears was an Indian male (that distinctive not quite british accent) saying “children quiet down now, we have a special treat in store for you”. It was apparently the start of a morning show that I never listen to because I always bluetooth music from my phone. Yet, I was left with a strong knowing it was a physical validation of everything my brain and body experienced in the wee hours of the morning.

Again, 38 year old white chick born in Ohio and midwestern to the bone. WTF? The gods seriously have a messed up sense of humor.

I’m not saying that my dream is impossible, but it would have to take Sadhguru himself picking someone like me to enable that kind of change. Hinduism isn’t likely to change their ideas on religious leaders and processes unless one of their most important figure heads actively makes those decisions and puts procedures in place to keep the doors open for gender equality.

There are currently too many taboos for women to even participate fully in rituals and services, let alone enable them to have a family and still be a religious leader. My own personal opinion is that many of those decisions were made by men wishing to maintain power control long ago. Some of the things that are taboo are supposedly because things would impact a woman’s menstrual cycle, and being who I am, I’ve tested those waters enough to know it’s bullshit for me. Often if I actually accomplish one of those taboos (downward dog while menstruating is a good example) I actually feel better. I can’t help but wonder how many of the taboos actually don’t impact women at all, and how many might impact energetically in a beneficial way (not negatively as suggested).

Anyway, that’s a side tangent expressing my disbelief in the dream. On one hand, it’d be really amazing if it actually happened, on the other I know I’m not ready to play Sadhguru’s role. Perhaps something similar to a lesser degree, fewer eyes upon me maybe. I have to acknowledge I have yet to master yoga or meditation for myself even, but I do get the basics. I’m still a work in progress, enough to not be the head guru. It’s just odd to me to even contemplate it, knowing all that I know and all that I’m still working on.

So, I simply don’t fully understand the events of the last 12 hours yet. I will leave space open for fuller understanding to eventually be clear to me.

May you understand your dreams and know you are experiencing healing in real time. May you know that your skills are respectable even if you haven’t fully mastered anything. May you know why you experience the divine in the ways that you do. May you know how to handle your experiences and their validations and know how to proceed. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Teaching Humanity to Fish

Give a man a fish
He eats for a day
Teach a man to fish
He eats for a lifetime

So the bible reads
Yet fishing is not difficult
It's metaphor for
Living life fully
Supporting oneself
Successfully

Why was he not fishing
To begin with?

Did he fall ill?
Was he somehow hurt?
Did his previous fishing
End in trauma?

Perhaps he was born
Without hands
Or lost a hand
In an accident

Perhaps his only skill
Was fishing
But life took him
Far from any water

Perhaps a mishap
Almost took his life
Left him feeling futility

Perhaps his
Skills or tools
Failed him
Perhaps he did his best
And still fell short

Perhaps he made mistakes
Big or small
Many or few
That caused him to
Loose everything
All his tools taken from him
Disheartened
Given in and given up

Maybe he has lost faith
In himself
In God's guidance
Or helpfulness
Maybe he sees no reason
To keep trying to fish
Never quite experiencing
The supposed benefits

It doesn't mean it's not
Still important
Maybe those are all
Just hurdles
He doesn't know
How to overcome

Perhaps teaching
The ability to fish
Is more complex
Than society acknowledges

Still a worthy goal
Still better than just
Giving the day's fish

Perhaps it's humanity's
Responsibility
To come together
To solve the complexity
Of teaching all men
Not just how to fish

To teach them how to
Overcome obstacles
Everything preventing
Their fishing success

Including finding
Faith
In oneself
Where once it was lost

Including finding
Reasons
To believe
To keep trying
To keep doing

Finding the knowing
Of his place
His role in
This vast eternal
Universe

Finding the knowing
God's guidance
Has been trying to
Get through to him
All along

Finding God
Loved him
All along
Even in the obstacles
And disheartened
Ignorance

We all fish
Some have more
Obstacles and challenges
Than others

Our responsibility to
Help another
Around obstacles
We learned to overcome

Community coming together
Joined forces
Helps everyone
Learn to fish
No matter the cause
Of the need to learn

~ Treasa Cailleach

Love Prevails

My baby burned herself last night. She wanted my tea, but it had some caffeine. Even though it was minimal caffeine, I said no because it was just before her bedtime. She decided to go help herself to what her dad had set to steep for himself. I was 30 seconds too slow to realize she had sneaked away and it was too quiet. I called for her and immediately heard a scream. I lept up just as she came running back to me soaked in hot liquid. Her front was burned fairly badly, several blisters popped as I took the wet shirt off of her. I instantly went into first-aid mode, but doing my best to be loving momma at the same time. I coated her in a very thick layer of aloe and applied lavender soaked gauze pads.

This morning it was significantly better, but the worst areas were still blistered and dark. So before my short shift I reapplied another thick layer of aloe and lavender soaked gauze. She knew I was trying to fix it for her.

I know she will be okay and heal just fine. I also know she learned her lesson and will likely never do that again. I also know that she knows I love her, because not only did I try to protect her, I also helped when her choice hurt her badly.

For some reason it has made me think about this holiday season. I am determined to let love prevail and I am wishing that for everyone.

Right now we are in the midst of a collective situation that can be compared to the story of when baby Jesus’ life was threatened by troops searching for all the male babies to be killed. One person in power, afraid of his power being stripped, sent destruction out on everyone.

Powers that be desperately want us to stay afraid and sequestered. They want us to hide in our homes and loose ourselves. Sadly, part of this situation is fueled by a desire to make money off of our fears (pharma with vaccines). The other part is fueled by those already in a state of fear and compounded by fears of being sued, knowing that even if insurance is present, it often fails to do it’s job.  If you follow the trails far enough, both could likely be traced back to a handful of 1%’ers, and would definitely encourage fears of conspiracy against the masses. One could definitely assume that THEY created the virus to get at us.

But one could also assume it was an opportunity of convenience. An unknown new thing which used properly scared the daylights out of everyone, and caused a chain reaction of organizations and entities afraid of litigation.

In order to break the cycle of fear, we must simply BE ourselves. And this holiday season let us be like Mary and Joseph in that story. Cling to that which you have, and that which you know and love, and ignore the fear of others. Listen to your inner being and follow God’s cues, and let love be your guiding light.

For me I am grateful I know how to BE myself.

I am grateful for my clients and their gifts and kindness.

I am grateful that I understand that this disease is statistically no worse than the flu and comparable in risk to vaccines themselves.

I am immensely grateful that I have access to (mostly), and knowledge of, many things that help get over viral infections and any resulting damage to my body. I’m eternally grateful that God fills in where my knowledge and tools fail, providing an infinite supply of healing energy.

I am grateful that instead of making money off of other’s fears, I am earning my way helping my clients find their way back to their inner being.

I am able to support my family because I help people relax back into their inner-selves and find healing space.

I am grateful that I can find my way back to my inner-being , even when the darkness threatens to drown me.

I am grateful that my inner being helps me do good work.

I am grateful that I have clients that are generally as kind and generous as I aim to be.

I am grateful that I have a safe home and a loving family.

I am honored to be able to help people find healing, whether it is my own child, or clients on my table.

I am appreciative that I understand I don’t have to live in fear just because others are doing their best to convince me to do so. I don’t have to live in fear just because others are.

I am very happy that I understand my inner being view is far more important than what anyone else is doing or thinking.

I am so appreciative that God loves me and that I love God back. So many people forget to give God love, and I am happy to do so. Every time my brain looses it’s way, I work hard to get back on track just so I can have my connection back and give God some love again.

I’m grateful that even though I won’t be visiting long distance family, I will still be able to spend my holidays with time off and have warm loving holiday celebrations with my family.

I’m grateful for the abundance that enabled gifts for my children and good healthy food on our table.

I grateful that I was able to extend offers for friends to join our holiday celebration. Whether or not they actually join us, I am appreciative that I am capable of having them visit with us.

I am reaching for many things this holiday. I’m teaching for: a loving home, a prosperous business, a healthy body, and living in a world where love triumphs over fears.

Join me in shifting our world perspective to brighter days. Join me in focusing on the positives and letting the love flow. Demolish the fears and darkness. Rebuild with the light of a loving God.

May we all find a way to kill darkness and give birth to a loving new world. May we all find peace and joy these holidays to begin a new year in a much better place. May we all find our inner-being and higher-self view of this day and every day moving forward. May you know that God loves you and just wants loved back. May you know that God can heal us all if we allow for it. May we all find brighter, better, more joyful, more prosperous, more healing days ahead of us.

Destroy the negatives- Siva Hir Su

Rebuild the world in love and light- Dai Ko Mio, Om Mani Padme Hum.


Find peace, love and joy. – Om Shanti

Om Namo Maha Deva; Praise God, Amen