Tag Archives: divine timing

A birth through seaweed.

Not literal.

I was asking God how to solve the slowness of my desire to birth a new me. I acknowledged everything I have done and asked if a miracle was possible. I heard a yes. I simply asked how and listened for my response. This is what God’s answer was for me.

The birth:

I am coming up on 9 months since I re-cleaned up my act and went strict. 9 months since I upped my anty and added things I previously hadn’t utilized. I’m ready for a birth. A birth of a new healed and thin me.

Like birth, this experience apparently needs to be uncomfortable for me for a short period. The kind of uncomfortable that makes you really, really appreciate the end results. The kind of uncomfortable that walks right up to worst case scenario without actually taking you there. The kind of uncomfortable that shows you what you can handle without actually breaking you.

I was reminded that humans don’t actually have to eat every day. I was reminded of Ghandi’s  21 day fast, and that he began it much thinner than I currently am. I was reminded of Siddhartha’s journey into asceticism. I was reminded of biblical fasts: forced- both by captures or environmental causes, and chosen- through devoutness. God pointed out that though it is uncomfortable to our experience of life, it is possible and does force our body to release anything that is not vital to our existence, including all of the hidden pieces trapped within (toxins in cells, and the energetic junk trapped in muscles and fat cells- bad muscle memories). The longer the fast the more is released. Once satisfaction is reached, someone in my position can simply choose to resume eating as normal, knowing the goal has been met and healing is complete.

The seaweed:

God reminded me of the story from the Bible where Israelites escape the pharaoh’s army in the Book of Exodus to survive on Mana/God’s bread rained from heaven. This Mana is described in multiple places in the Bible and many people and scientists have speculated on it’s actual substance from moss to spirulina to a variety of seaweeds.

God then reminded me of the Tibetan monk that is claimed to have lived for 300 years on a moss found in his cave, and he had so much Chi/Qi (energy) that he was able to leave his handprint on the cave walls.

Then I saw my seaweed in my mind. I have already acknowledged that when I eat seaweed I feel satisfied and have plenty of energy. I was told my seaweed is the monks moss, it is the Mana of God for me.

The answer:

I have already done juice fasts several times in the past, one running almost 2 months. I am no stranger to fasting. They don’t kill me, and this is just a new variation inspired by God as my answer to birthing a new me more quickly. I am up for trying it. It is time for the baby of myself to be born. I am ready.

I fully understand that this is not a requirement. I do not have to fast. I do not have to be uncomfortable. However, my desire for a new me is so strong that waiting for months and months and months causes very resistant thought. I am ready to leap the momentum hurdle and make the final sprint to the finish line. I am actually okay with the thought of this fast. I does feel less resistant than waiting longer and longer. I am okay discovering my limits. I am okay learning how much I can handle. I am ready to let God heal me and teach my body how to live fully. I am ready for this birth to be in this way. Seaweed will help me birth a new me and that is okay.

I am ready to be ready to be ready. -Abraham Hicks

May you be ready to be ready. May you have your inspired answers. May you know God is trying to help you. May you birth the healing you have been fostering. May you clear momentum hurdles easily. May you have success in all your endeavors. May you have plenty of energy and feel great in your body. May you feel God’s love and guidance. May you know you are safe regardless of what you choose. May you always find the least resistant answer and thought.

Siva Hir Su

Astounding Relief

The short and long of it.

First the short…

Last night I got into a proverbial knock down, drag out argument with my father. I yelled A LOT. My dad yelled some but would not budge, apologize, or relinquish that his beliefs were hurtful. He barely acknowledged things I expected more from him on, especially when I told him of the molestation as a child.

Apparently God wanted this moment to happen. It was triggered while my inhibitions were laxed and I responded with all of my being. In the midst of all of it I kept feeling guidance on what to say and how to point things out. Towards the end of it, before I gave up and went to bed I heard God loud and clear. “That is why he is dieig, he refuses to budge and refuses to reach for better.” I had just responded to dad’s “I can’t change who I am”, with an emphatic “you are making that choice”. Then after God’s input I told him what God said and went to bed.

The argument covered all of his hurtful behaviors and actions. He justified it all with those are just things we disagree on. Everything from his racist behavior, to Trump support, to gender and sexual descrimination. At one point I spoke of his desire to keep women from having abortions. I pointed out that if I had been only a few years older when I was molested it could have produced a child. I pointed out Katherine’s conception when things were so bad and I had no solutions. I said if you want to revoke the right to abortion, then how on Earth do you solve those problems. He had no answer and didn’t care to find one, only make an excuse for his steadfastness.

Once I gave up and went to bed, Nathan took over trying to reason with him, the unreasonable. I sat and listened to a message notification that fit precisely and was God congratulating me. Then I meditated to my liquid mind Pandora station.

I thanked God so much and explained I loved God and I could now clearly differentiate God from my father or anyone for that matter. I saw God’s hand in bringing Nathan into my life to make up for all which lacked with my father. It was a strongly intense conversation with God, ending with a knowing that my father will not fully understand until he has his croaking experience, but that once on the other side he will get it all and be a better Father than he ever was alive. I also had a much stronger knowing of ME.

The long of it.

I now see every last thing that my father taught and continues to demonstrate. I saw every last hurtful thing he ingrained in me and could see God’s version. It was so freeing and healing for me. My body lit up with God’s light and I felt the healing in every part of me that needed it.

  • God does not put guns in people’s hands for protection or food, people put guns in each other’s hands for killing, based on war/control and fear.
  • We don’t have to shoot animals to eat. God provides fruits and vegetables and fish that can be caught or gathered by hand or with simple tools.
  • God does not molest or rape, men do. And when man takes advantage of woman, God is okay with whatever the woman needs to heal, no matter what, whether it means abortion or yelling at a dieing father. A woman taking her power back is okay with the divine.
  • God does not hurt people, people hurt people.
  • God does not discriminate for any reason, people do.
  • God loves women for their beauty, for their strength, for their compassion for humanity.
  • God wanted me to find my knowing and fully heal and it felt really good. I feel 20 pounds lighter of anger, frustration, and feelings of rejection.
  • My father demonstrated repeatedly for my entire life that women are objects to look at, scrutinize, use as sexual objects or toys, and own. Women are beautiful creatures that bring us all into the world, without them a man could not exist. We deserve every ounce of honor, respect, recognition, and understanding. Women deserve to be heard and be treated equally. Women are free to choose. Women are deserving of the easy path, and of all the love and more. Women deserve full healing, and if that means the old dies then that is okay.
  • My father always demonstrated that I could never do things right, I was not beautiful, my choices were always wrong, and he was the only one that could make correct decisions, I must listen to the man. I took my power back. I am perfect just the way I am. I am smart, I am capable, I can make good decisions for me and my loving family, and I deserve to be honored and respected. Men can and will listen to women for a change, or the human race will quickly dwindle.
  • My father has demonstrated racism through my entire life. From Confederate flags, to calling black people niggers, to threatening to shoot a black man at a gas station over loud music, to refusing to acknowledge Nathan as a loving partner. He refuses to see how that is a hurtful choice and is okay making excuses for his behaviors. Last night after presenting Nathan to my father in a blunt matter-of-fact way about all of his good qualities my dad refuses to acknowledge, I said “Nathan is the kind loving man that I needed as a child and you failed to be”. God knows I needed Nathan. God loves and accepts Nathan. God supports me having Nathan and will never send me someone that can’t see that. I know that after my father croaks he will see God’s perspective.
  • God provides us a middle path. There is never this or that, there is never only two ways to do something. There is always infinite possibility, and only human choice of perspective limits possibilities. We need to allow ourselves as a race to allow for more possibilities. Our country has more than two parties to choose from, and there is still even a possibility that Bernie could still be elected and win. God can help fix all of the division if we all agree to allow him. Hold with your heart what you want to happen in our world and God will align everything. If your heart can’t hold it then it isn’t reaching for better, it’s just trying to not get worse. As a nation and world we deserve better.
  • God wants us to know without a doubt that we have choices and infinite possibilities.
  • God wants us to know we are loved and we all deserve the easy path.
  • God wants us to know we have rights and those rights must be honored and respected for all.
  • Yelling has it’s place and can lead to healing as long as one moves on once release is gained.
  • Clinging to old beliefs prevents us from living full healthy lives.
  • If beliefs are hurtful to others then God and your higher self want you to reach for better and if you refuse it will cause the end of your life.
  • I have changed, I yelled and screamed and made points, but never lost my connection to God. I was reaching for better. I was trying to get my father to understand, but more I was taking my power back and proving to myself that his hurtful beliefs were not mine and not God’s. I was honoring myself and my husband in the strongest most vocal way possible, and God loved me for it.
  • I allowed myself real healing and could feel God’s touch in my body.
  • I respect people, even my father to a degree, but more I respect myself.
  • I love my father- dysfunction and all, but more I love myself.
  • I let it all out and let myself move on, and God let me know it is okay.
  • My heart is more open than it has been in decades and I am so very grateful for it and God’s grace.
  • I know I am deserving of love, and especially someone that accepts Nathan as part of my life.
  • I am deserving of being heard and understood.
  • The whole world is deserving of equality and the old dieing and taking their damage with them. It is time for a great healing purge worldwide.
  • Every person alive needs to make a habit of asking themselves: “How does God see this, and does that mean I need to change and reach for better?”
  • Love is more important than anything else in this world, and sometimes that means putting that which is right and putting yourself first at all costs.

May you find your path to intense healing moments a bit easier than I did. May you know and hear God guiding you. May you know God supports your growth and reaching for better regardless of what that looks like. May you know you are loved, heard, understood, and supported in multiplicity. May you clear rough patches knowing God guided you through them. May you know your better choices are okay, and if you don’t like the results you can try again. May you know you are perfectly imperfect in God’s eyes. May you feel God’s love always.

Siva Hir Su

Long day rant to refocusing.

My 70 year old mom is right, this country is all a bunch of pussies. I may be pissed off right now because of too much stupidity and lack of logic invading my space today. I finally lost it after one of my residents agreed that the crisis crashed our economy and is hurting people in many ways, but denied that it was a self imposed poor decision. I went and hid in an unused common room, so as to not get myself in trouble. So, now that work is over I’m going to rant to get it out of my system. I’ll finish with a stretch on focusing on what I want to see in the new reality.

First this country is chalk full of over privileged pussies (like mom said), with no perspective on reality for humanity as a whole, which have caused a crisis for everyone. The fear of those few, afraid that a stupid virus might end their already miserable existence, has caused a cataclysmic chain reaction that even when undone will never truly return to what we considered normal.

First, our government has put corporations before citizens AGAIN in a hugely horrible economic disaster that can’t be undone anytime soon. Corporations bailed out to the tune of billions while American citizens fail to have enough to make ends meet. My neighborhood alone went from a few incidents a week, to 67 car break-ins in about 3 days. I can’t blame them, they’re trying to find anything they can hock to pay their bills. The Great Depression was essentially a complex oopse of improper regulation of banking and stock exchange, did we learn from that lesson. No we stepped it up and made even worse decisions, on purpose, causing nearly as bad of a crash, solely based on a virus that they’re finally admitting has an even lower death rate than the flu.

Watch “Ticked Off Vic: A Mssage to the Government | VicDiBitetto.net” on YouTube

Second despite all those gun toting republican hippocrites afraid their liberties will be taken away, our government has done just that. Deciding what is necessary or not, deaming that grocery store trips can’t include toy purchases even if your kids are going nuts being cooped up at home, ticketing people for being out of their homes. You were afraid about some guns, but THIS, this is okay!? The same republicans that deny women the right to birth control and abortion, suddenly having a conscious about “it’s my body, I have the right to decide”. It’s nice you finally discovered how important that is, but damn, did you have to wait for all of our liberties to be stripped before coming to that conclusion? Really?! One step from martial law and you finally decide this isn’t okay.

That’s nothing to mention all of the things that are likely happening behind the scenes because our government knows we’re distracted. They have a really good track record of sliding all kinds of things past us when an opportunity of distraction happens. What are all of you going to say in a year, or two, or ten when those things come out to the light of day?

And when did disease become political in the first place? It’s not politics, it’s science, and at that I’m discovering how many people are sorely uneducated on it, purely illiterate. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard facts cited as being the reason this virus is supposedly so bad, and my retort is that said fact applies to all viruses. Beyond that I keep reminding them their constantly dwindling data, didn’t account for anyone that caught it before testing was available, and still doesn’t account for any 3rd world countries or poverty ridden areas, doesn’t account for anyone not sick enough to be admitted to a hospital. Do you think anyone is wasting tests on homeless? Do you think any of the millions of uninsured poverty level families are being tested? No. Their numbers get more and more outlandish, and they’re not even accounting for even a third of the people that probably actually had it.

Sustainable disease control and prevention, that’s what I’ve argued all along. This is not that. This is not even a real quarantine. Real quarantines are only the sick people, and any family member that chooses to be with a sick person is held in the same conditions until all who are quarantined are clear of disease. Period. Sustainable disease control: wash hands first and foremost- repeat that frequently, don’t touch your own eyes/face to avoid catching something from having touched contaminated objects, sanitize surfaces and objects as frequently as realistic/manpower enables (depending on flow of people that might be hourly), hand sanitizer in a pinch (keep in mind sanitizer created super bugs like MRSA), did I mention wash your damn hands!!!!???

There is no proof the 6 feet works. It’s based on droplet travel distance from a cough only. See my previous posts with citation. Sneezes can travel up to 10 meters or 30 feet. Beyond that, once someone has breathed, coughed, or sneezed, those virus are still in the area, active and can still be spread via contact. 6 feet is pointless. Plexiglass panels are pointless, plexiglass cubicles might actually be beneficial if ventilated through filters, but you still have to come and go from them. Did you think about that?

But hey, all those 55+ that are retired on fixed incomes in fixed bill situations, you can hide in your little apartments or homes and you think everything is just fine and dandy. Or all those congressmen and representatives on lifetime fixed salaries. You’re not affected by job layoffs, families going from two incomes to one, or in my case a family going from 1 decent salary to half, or as my neighbors going from two incomes to none. You have no fucking clue what that is like. Then to find out your bank got a giant bailout, and you just get a furlough on your mortgage payments so it won’t impact your credit as long as you can make all your payments right after you return to work. Asshats. But yeah, none of the aforementioned would bother to wrap their brains around that. I had one resident try to go all “Nancy Pelosi trying to sneak her pets in”. When I asked for an example she cited the National Endowment for the Arts fund. I said, oh you mean the fund that pays for public television, the fund that pays for all of our libraries which have all shut down and laid off employees, the fund that allows artists to start businesses and pay for employees, that fund, yeah I can totally see how that wouldn’t be a good addition. NOT! Get a fucking clue.

So privileged, that you forget all of the other countries and why they aren’t in the news. Do you think little 12 year old Raj in India working 8 hour shifts as a child gets told to stay home. No! Do you think little Malik in Africa walking 30 miles to carry gerry-cans of water gets told to stay home. No! Those children, those families, are more concerned about finding food, more concerned about living through malaria and dysentery from bad water, more concerned about living through tumors from all of it, more concerned about how they will continue to have a relatively safe spot to sleep. There are billions of people on this planet that don’t even have basic needs met, let alone the ability to call a doctor and get any treatment or medication needed in a moments notice. But our over privileged society forgets that all too readily, forgets even here in the USA all of the millions that are under-insured, uninsured, cash-pay, that is if they even have enough cash to pay, and thus go without proper care, let alone a stupid test to see if they’ve got it. And still this disease has less than even the 3% death rate of the flu. Soooo scary, not!

You, as an American, still have a better chance of dieing from heart disease, cancer, or a car accident, than all viral diseases put together. Get a fucking clue, but that would mean that the vaccine industry would fail at getting us to keep buying into their trillions of dollars of profits on vaccines. If we’re not scared enough to fall for an untested emergency vaccine, then what might they do in 10 years when vaccine use declines from the hundreds of shots currently pushed, many of which are grossly ineffective, to a mere few of the genuinely worst. I mean when the vaccines they produce have the same 1 to 3% death rate as this disease, you literally have a coin toss as to which risk you’re willing to take. I personally would rather take my chances with the virus any day, because then I can skip the injection which includes formaldehyde, antifreeze, parabens, aluminum, thimerisol (mercury compound), and any number of hundreds of other chemicals commonly found in vaccines. One virus up against my immune system always loses eventually.

And that’s the other thing, learn your own conditions and stop using language you don’t fully understand. I swear if I hear one more person use “I’m immune compromised” improperly I may go postal. Here’s the deal, there are many auto-immune diseases that fall under immuno-deficiency that don’t actually mean you catch every disease that comes along. I have Hashimotos’, it is one such disease. My body attacks my thyroid because my immune system reacts to molecules, chemicals that it learned were bad. It means my general overall health stuffers because I gain weight over everything, every allergen causes me to have a host of thyroid related problems. Yet my overactive immune system kills viruses as efficiently as it tries to kill chemical compounds. So, as far as communicable diseases: I’m splendidly healthy. There’s a pancreatic version, liver disease that’s similar, RA, and nearly a dozen other diseases that fall in the same category. Odly enough (sarcasm) they are all first world diseases. They are all caused by our shitty foods, and toxic chemicals from pesticides, herbicides and preservatives, and yes possibly even the chemicals used in vaccines. We have done it to ourselves. So stop using your autoimmune disorder as a reason for your displaced fears. Get over yourself, learn your own shit for real, and learn what you need to do to heal. I have. Put up or shut up.

And then to top my day off, I stopped at QT for potty break and some unsweetened black raspberry tea. To find out all of the fountain drinks were unavailable, and my choice doesn’t come in a bottle. Okay, so I’m totally okay with eliminating the disposable cups, because even though they are recyclable, many people do trash them- it is good for the environment and I didn’t need a damn virus to go along on that ride, as I usually refill my own container anyway. But the drinks themselves, are you fucking crazy?! If you’re following the sanitization procedures for all food prep, and I know they do, then the drinks are safe. The only thing that can get contaminated is the damn customer handle. In this litigious society, all you need is a damn sign reminding people to be cautious and wash their damn hands after using the spigot. Simple, easy, give me my damn tea. Fucking ludicrous. If I was worried about the spigot, I wouldn’t be in the damn store to begin with. The decisions businesses are making are based on trying to meet the fear of those few clueless illiterate fraidy-cats, and aren’t even based in any real facts or evidence. If you, as a corporation, are going to try and cover your ass, do it right, be informed of actual risks, and act accordingly. If you don’t know, hire someone to tell you who definitely does; not maybe, not kinda, someone who really knows with certainty, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Corporations should be only following CDC guidelines by law, and otherwise seeking well informed legal and medical counsel. Doing anything because it was on the news or someone suggested, or a customer complained, is bad for business and quite risky. If your complaint was from an uninformed illiterate fraidy-cat then you’re setting yourself up for lost income and unnecessary costs. It’s better to preemptively prepare and train as to why it is okay to leave certain things in place, and lable use at your own risk. But hey, I just wanted my damn tea, and knew the risk, which I was willing to take, being certain at this point I’ve already had the damn virus.

So yeah, I am way beyond over this shit. I literally am hitting my livid wall and ready to start making heads roll. I need real sense to start happening, and the kind of logic that moves humanity as a whole forward. First world problems need to stay problems for the few, and leave the rest of the damn world out of it.

So that takes me to what I want to see.

  • My tea back at QT
  • Normal means of sanitization
  • Society being educated on normal disease processes and prevention
  • People owning themselves and being responsible for themselves
  • Only carrying out solutions that improve the whole picture. When the solution is worse than the disease we deserve a choice.
  • Solutions that work for everyone
  • The government putting individual citizens before corporations
  • Government agencies and politicians working together to real compromise solutions that help society and the world at large
  • Making strides to save our home planet so that multiple generations even have a chance at trying to further humanity
  • People having gratitude and perspective and acknowledgement of their privileged positions in society and life. Helping those less fortunate would be wonderful, but at least don’t cause greater problems for those less fortunate
  • Acknowledgement that the worst is indeed over and the disease was overestimated, and beginning to rebuild and repair damage done.
  • Society returning to work
  • People finding common ground
  • People working together
  • People ending name calling and the blame game
  • Less divisive, more unified
  • Caring, kindness, and compassion returning
  • Hugs and handshakes returning
  • People washing hands always, not just because a ‘new’ disease comes through
  • People owning their own health for real
  • Literacy on disease prevention, disease cycles, and sanitization that kills disease without creating super-bugs
  • Less wastefulness
  • Everyone having access to basic needs
  • Everyone having access to healthcare
  • Everyone having proper assistance
  • Everyone having clean water and proper waste management
  • Everyone having safe basic homes
  • Everyone having access to multivitamins and other genuinely helpful immune boosters (the ones that don’t inject chemicals into your bloodstream or have 1-3% fatalities)
  • Society reclaiming basic human rights
  • Society supporting individual rights
  • Less pollution
  • More safety
  • More genuine security
  • More rehabilitation programs
  • More assistance programs for needy and impoverished
  • Government by the people for the people, not by the corporate citizen for the corporate citizen.
  • Feeling supported and cared for
  • Feeling like my voice matters and makes a difference
  • Feeling like things are moving in positive directions again
  • Feeling like humanity has good things to look forward to
  • Feeling like the divine is helping us
  • Feeling like the divine is guiding us and intervening as needed
  • Feeling like the problems are being replaced by real usable solutions
  • Feeling like my life matters
  • Feeling like the world is someplace I want to be again
  • Feeling like humanity has a real chance
  • Feeling like not all is doomed
  • Feeling like change is happening and for the better
  • Feeling of positive progress
  • Feeling that we’re headed for better days
  • Feeling relief

May your rants always help you feel better and help you reach for better feeling thoughts. May we all get through this okay, especially those of us that did our best to keep the sanity. May those less fortunate be supported by those whom are the fortunate. May humanity progress and the whole world see improvement. May our world find lasting cleanliness for both our health and the health of the planet. May we all see the greater ripple effect and our role at creating improvement. May we all come together to compromise for solutions that work for everyone. May God’s light shine the way to better days.

Siva Hir Su