Tag Archives: divine

Return to My Self

My deepest desire
Simply to return
To my
Self
Before the toxic
Took hold
Before
Toxic masculine
Before
Generations of
Karmic debt
Laden
Dis-ease
Before virus
Swish-cheese organs
Before
Internal wars

To mesh with that
Self
In this
Time, age, place
Peaceful, Content,
Healthy and happy
To return
To my
Self
My beautiful Venus
Energy of divine
Feminine
Aeons of chaos
Discord and turbulence
Wars won
Generations of
Survivors
Strong and beautiful
Coursing through my veins
Bringing that
Strength
Light
Into my cells
Healing all
Helping improve
The outer
Manifestations
Eventually
Revealed
Time and space
Warped for
Miraculous
Healing
Making my
Self
My now
Experience
Abundant
Beauty and Strength
For all to
See
Know
Divine grace
Unfolded
Upon me
Revealing
What was already there
Hidden
As the treasure
It is
My beautiful
Loving
Goddess
Self

~Treasa Cailleach

May you love your inner being and allow it to flow enough for miraculous healing. May you love yourself as much as your Self does. May you feel your connection always. May you know you are where you need to be. May you know all of your experiences gave you wisdom to see more than meets the eye. May you cherish every bit of your self, your life, and your experiences.

Om Shanti

2nd round

A one hour gap led to my 2nd round of exercise for the day. I started early, with 35min of elliptical before work. Now I walk the park near work. Sunshine and 73° a stark contrast to the subzero temps of the week of my birthday, just 2 weeks ago.

This round I’m not listening to music, no I much prefer the sounds of birds chirping and singing. I would sing myself were it not likely to bother others.

I happily wear my scarf as a shawl, just enough coverage to adjust to the light breeze today. I’m so happy to be without a coat.

Today I have been kicking energetic butt.

I do not need a negative skunk of a divine masculine in any form. The divine masculine of this world has not stopped power, greed, or manipulation of the masses. DM has not produced actual healing for many diseases, and especially considering vaccines have not solved many detrimental diseases. Vaccines pretend to help only those never exposed to begin with, and only for certain chosen diseases, but their toxic chemicals do other damage in the process. And toxic chemicals are everywhere anyway, the DM has not stopped corporate greed ruining our food supply with any one of dozens of toxins.

No, I don’t give one shit about the divine masculine in human form or otherwise, because no form it is taking is doing any good for anyone, and there have been no miracles from God in large scale way.

Divine healing looks like miracles. It looks like safe foods and our bodies functioning properly, without more toxic ‘interventions’.

Divine healing is like this sunny day, living life the way it was intended, out in the open with smiles on faces. Divine healing is joy and enjoyment of many activities. Divine healing is businesses functioning and flourishing because they are genuinely helping people (not scaring the shit out of everyone). Divine is goodness in all forms.

This masculine bullshit we have been cowering from is just that- bullshit.

I embrace my feminine, that brings me joy. That has gotten me closer to healing than anyhing that any masculine has said or done. I embrace my inner being because that feels good, that feels like joy.

And my husband, he’s doing the same. I know inside my husband is a healed, radiant, smart, kind being, and I look forward to that showing more again. My husband is intelligent and we both have been doing everything in our power to heal. We both have been putting in more focus and more effort, than anyone wants to acknowledge. The fact that we are doing so much, and still coming up short, is because of all the damage that decades of rampant toxic masculinity enabled.

Toxic masculinity has ruined humanity and left us all zombies. Real zombies are the hordes cowering in fear. Real zombies are the hordes bickering with each other over problems instead of joining forces to find real lasting solutions. Real zombies are all the people giving their power away to greedy corporations because they say this injection will stop the disease. Real zombies are those that vote for the rich guy because he’s not a career politician forgetting he padded his own pockets in the process, but can’t see that the young politicians have people’s genuine concerns at heart because they signed up to try and fix the system.

If you can’t employ your brain to reach for better, see the fallacy of anything, and aim for solutions, then you are already a zombie.


As for me, I’m reaching for better.

I remind myself and my family regularly:

Mind your own self first.

Reach for better and focus on something that feels good.

If you can’t find a solution, then find a way to let go of it so someone else can.

If you’re not living life normally, then you’re not living, and you might as well let go of life itself.

Treat yourself with respect, dignity, and love. If you know that you are doing everything you can correctly, then you have to know that you are doing your best and the rest is up to the actual divine.

Love yourself and give yourself what you need, no matter what that is.


I used my walk and this post to let go of what was bothering me. I used my walk to find appreciation. I am focusing on what I need to feel better. I am honoring my divine self and reaching for better and believing that no matter what, everything is okay.

May you find a way to let go and reach for better. May you see solutions or at least release the need to fight over anything. May you show yourself much needed kindness. May you find things to experience joy and learn to truly live again. May we all see that everything is okay and the divine loves and supports us in all that we aim to do for a greater good. May humanity find peace and living again.

Om Shanti

Another conversation with God.

I have been asking God questions, but I can’t get them out of my head to be able to clear space for the answers. So I’m going to dictate my current conversation with God to hopefully allow the space for answers to come.


Hi God: Shiva/Avalokiteshvara/Quan-Yin,

I know you love me and I know Nathan loves me. I know I don’t really need anything or anyone else. So why on Earth do I still want those other people and feel like I must keep trying so hard?

I have gotten really good at loving people that don’t return love. I’m good at loving the man I do have, and decent at showing him my love (there is always room for improvement). So why is it so damn hard to love myself as much? Why do I feel like I want another? Why do I still put others first?

I have spent a lifetime trying to please others. I let myself walk right into several situations where people said the right things, used words to get into me/my life, and took advantage of me and then left me hanging. Some hurt deep to my core and still resurface even after much emotional work. Why do they still resurface? Why is it so hard to let that go and expect others to reciprocate? Why do I still try to do everything, knowing that no-one will do any of it for me? Why can’t I believe that things will be done for me? Why can’t I believe that others will give as much as I do?

I know that I am doing so much better than a decade ago. I know I am far healthier in my daily practices than most of America. I know that I have made huge strides towards fixing my health and being healthy. So why can’t I allow full healing? I want to allow full healing. Why do I feel like that means I need to look a certain way? Why am I so stuck on others being able to see my health? Why do I need validation from others? Why does western medicine get under my skin and bother me so much, and why do I let their tests and opinions matter?

I run circles around most people. I can consume 500-700 calories and still do 5 hours of deep tissue and a full workout and just be normal tired. So why does a doctor doing blood work and writing prescriptions even matter? Why do I want my blood work to be “normal” when I know they frequently change what they think normal is? I know I don’t care about living to 90 and being bedridden on a gaggle of drugs, so why do I care that they think I need any? Why do I feel like I need to be a skinny Minney or body-builder to be considered healthy? Why do I want for my skin to shrink so badly? Why do I care?

I know that I have done far more than many people, in regards to many things. Why do I have such a hard time believing I have done all that needs to be done? Why do I feel like I must have to do more? Why can’t I believe I am enough, I have done enough? I want to, and thought I had figured it out. Why does it keep coming back?

I am carrying enough stored calories to exist for at least 60 days without consuming anything but water. Also, I stay on top of vital nutrition with all my supplements, so I know it isn’t something I am lacking. Why do I still fight cravings? Why does hunger rule my body? Why can’t I just shut it off and stop eating until the stored calories and extra skin are consumed? Why is this process so damn hard?

I want to allow. I know sometimes I feel I am without a doubt. Other times I feel good and think I am allowing, but I still have all these moments, all these triggers that say otherwise. When will I have allowed enough that my change is visible? When will I have full health, and the things I do desire? How much allowing does it take to fix these things? Again, why can’t I see and believe I have already done enough?

I know that some of this will work out in time. The rest I hope I can allow your clarity and your answers. I do love you God and I really don’t want to be a whiney doubting nag. I just want to delete the old programming and allow the new me to be fully revealed and healthy inside and out. I’m doing my best and I’m trying to believe I am enough. I am so grateful for everything you have done for me already. I thank you everyday for all the good that has already manifested, and I am ever so grateful that I am able to help others through my connection to your light. I hope to be able to continue spreading your light and blessings for many years to come. I hope those that I may have hurt forgive me, and that any damage done is healed for everyone. I love you, God, more than anything or anyone else.


May you have good conversations with God. May you allow room for the answers you need. May you find you are able to listen for those answers. May you have ample things to find gratitude over. May you have joy and love in your life. May you be able to release old limiting beliefs. May you know that others care and reciprocate your affections and acts of service. May you know God loves you and supports you. Above all, may you find love for yourself and find ways to show yourself love daily.

Siva Hir Su