Tag Archives: doing my best

Your best joyful.

Today’s Sadhguru quote:

I was already thinking about my childhood when I saw the quote. Initially, contemplation was stirred by several people having asked me if I liked what I do.

I have answered honestly every time that question has ever been asked, and surprisingly my answer is not much different that the first time I was asked years ago.

In general I love what I do. I help people, I enable people to feel better and I often guide them towards finding healing (or with elderly- release, which is its own kind of healing). There have been points in my history where finances were very tight or other elements were stressful, but mostly my career is low stress and adequate financially. I will likely never become a millionaire on massage alone, but I have changed lives and helped others find less stress and more peace. I help people every day that I get up and go do what I do best.

And that is the key: WHAT I do BEST.

My best is not always hands rubbing and poking muscles. My best is not always words that come out of my mouth. My best changes from moment to moment. Sometimes it is energy work, sometimes it is the massage, sometimes it is saying just the right words at just the right moment, and sometimes it is what I do when I’m not earning my keep.

And I don’t always manage my best, but I always know why.

My mom was key in better understanding of the phrase “Always do your best”. She was the one that repeated it frequently, but she also had a deeper understanding of it.

She would tell us stories of how she was punished by teachers when she couldn’t read the blackboard after having had Scarlett fever, and finally one teacher figured out she simply couldn’t see. She would tell us stories of being moved around over and over again because she was a military kid, and all of the trouble it caused for her, but how she would get through. There were dozens of stories I heard as a kid where she was conveying that she was doing her best to survive and get through even when no one else noticed or cared, but eventually it mattered and got better.

She was key in my understanding that “Always do your best” only really matters to you. It only matters to the person doing their best. You are the only one that can determine if you are doing your best in any given moment or any given situation.

I then thought of when I was a kid participating in district solo and ensemble competitions. I was that kid that aimed for the 1’s not because I got ribbons and medals. No I aimed at the 1’s because I wanted to do my best regardless of anyone else. I would sit in a corner practicing quietly and let everyone ignore me, and later I would beat up on myself for mistakes because I knew I could do better. It wasn’t until years later that I understood I had already done my best because stage fright was real for me. Simply having managed receiving 1’s multiple times over, when battling stage fright intensely, was a feat in and of itself. Simply conquering my dyslexia on my own was a feat of my fortitude.

I was the kid that was bullied, molested, picked on or ignored mostly. But I still did my best getting good grades, setting curves, winning music and art competitions, and volunteering whenever I was able.

And to this day I am satisfied with my self-sufficient kick-ass way of always doing my best.

None of my accomplishments mean anything to the world, but they are no less amazing and spectacular. None of my accomplishments mean much to my birth family, but they are no less amazing and spectacular.

I am standing on my own and with great knowing that I can and will continue to do so, no matter what.

I am in a marriage that was completely unsupported by anyone. I have kids that were unaccepted because they are mixed race. I have largely done it all on my own and I still give my love to others daily.

I do not need anyone to support me or make things better, because I know that I always do my best, no matter what. I also know that those that shy away from me because of my baggage, are entirely missing the point.

I am a beautiful goddess and strong in my power. I am not perfect, I am a human goddess. I make mistakes, and I understand how to do better the next time. I constantly strive to do better because I know my best can keep improving. My best matters to me because it got me through when there was no one and no way to do it otherwise. My best is the result of all I’ve seen, done, and learned along the way.

And I forgive myself for the moments that weren’t my best. Humans make mistakes. It’s what you do with your mistakes that matters.

So yes, I love my career because it bring great satisfaction with minimal stress and it allows me to do my best every day I live.

To quote Abraham: “Money isn’t the root of all evil, but it isn’t the cause or solution of everything either”. For me I’d love to have more money, but I’m satisfied with the results of doing my best, even if more money never comes. My best is what has always mattered to me the most, and it’s not always measurable in dollars.

May you know that you do your best always. May you know what your best looks like and find forgiveness for the moments that aren’t. May you always understand why you didn’t accomplish your best and know how to improve next time. May you see the good in all parts of your life and have greater understanding for yourself and others. May you find that your best guides you to joyful work and a joyful life. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

So I lied… The truth.

There’s always an upswing for me now, and the refractory period has shortened significantly, in fact this one kinda surprised me. When that happens, I find my desire to write again. I move from writing to clear thoughts, to brief decompression, to loving to write for progress and forward momentum.

The truth is:

  • I want to desire only that which is good for me.
  • I want to love myself first.
  • I will always cycle around to putting my self first, even if it takes some time.
  • I am seeing where other’s stupidity slows me down. I may give of myself easily and love others completely, but I’m seeing how I keep letting myself get hurt because of that. Enough is enough, if they don’t reciprocate I’ll love them from afar and they can come grovel when they find their senses.
  • I am seeing where no one will ever value me as much as I value myself, especially in business.
  • I am learning that if I really value myself, I must put my goals, hopes and dreams first, and focus enough that I remind myself that some of my desires are not good for me.
  • I care about doing things I love and rewarding myself appropriately… Mmm maybe that is in the form of a good distraction, maybe one of the people I met at Sunday’s coffee hour can help with that.
  • I care about examining the myriad of ways something could fall on the spectrum of good or bad for me and taking action only after determining that it’s mostly good.

The message of today was VB. I saw it everywhere, and autocorrect even started putting it in my written text. I had Nathan look it up since I was working 2 different buildings. He came up with a stock option and visual basic.

I already am working with stocks as much as my budget allows which isn’t much, so the stock purchase will have to wait.

I’m not a computer programmer, and work far outside of IT, so I’m not certain I’ll jump into learning visual basic, but I did extrapolate that message into needing to take the next steps in developing the visual imagery of my program: Atira.

For me that translates into a few things.

  • Finish the floor plans for the dome.
  • Redo/update the map I made of Atira 12 years ago.
  • Start creating the images for my CEU courses, and obviously write the courses.
  • Start revamping my ages old marketing materials for Atira CEUs and other workshops, especially now that we’re close to having a functional space large enough for Reiki courses and workshops. (Being a graphic designer in addition to massage therapist definitely has its perks, I know how to design my own marketing materials and get them printed at the lowest costs!)
  • Begin handing out cards again and let my buildings know I’m almost ready to accept more contact work again. (Need to finish getting settled first.)

I am fortunate enough to be in a place where my integrity and reliability proceed me. My word of mouth reputation is invaluable in this city. I’m also very fortunate to be in a current contract set-up that is flexible enough to enable me to adjust schedules as needed. As each new contract appears I’ll slide them in where convient, and it’ll just reduce availability at the clinic I contract with, a minor inconvenience. Right now that’s no problem as I have plenty of days with ample downtime, so there’s plenty of time to spare. Depending on my alignment to the flow that could change slowly or quickly. If slowly they’ll have ample time to adjust with me. If quickly, I’ll just find a replacement for myself, though I guarantee a replacement won’t be as good. All the good therapists in this city are like me and happily self-employed, most working from home.

It’s not my intention, as like the activities job, I tend to give far more notice and assistance than they earn. So, I fully expect they’ll have plenty of time to adjust and make their own choices.

It seems God has me on a fast track. I’m okay with that and doing my level best to keep up.

“I’m ready, to be ready, to be ready.” – Abraham Hicks

May you find your realignment quickly. May you find yourself ready, to be ready, to be ready. May you see opportunities where once were hurts. May you see your fast track and keep up with it. May you find the way to your goals and dreams. May you have all the energy, knowing, and confidence to allow yourself your own success.

Many blessings, and be well. We’re all in this thing called life together, and even in moments of doubt I know God is rooting for us to ‘fight the good fight’ and pull through.

Siva Hir Su