Tag Archives: dream big

Beautifully scary.

I love, openly and without limits.

I love my brothers of blood, or none.

I love sister, even when distantly held.

I love my mom, dad, grandparents I once knew.

I love men and women of all sorts.

Many I barely know- our lives crossing so briefly.

Yet, honor and respect them for the example they’ve set.

Then there’s those special few.

That crept into my heart.

Nathan, my love, stayed when others could or would not.

I could not keep them, could not manipulate them, could not make them stay.

Even if I wanted to, even if I could.

I know they are their own; they deserve every bit of freedom I seek.

My heart still hopes.

For their presence, for their affection.

Maybe they still think of me from time to time.

Maybe they have fond memories of our paths crossing.

I know I still do, and my heart aches in desire of our paths one day crossing again.

I cherish my memories and believe.

Believe that I am good enough.

I am worthy enough.

Perfection is not necessary, no human is perfect.

My intelligence may be scary.

My knowing daunting.

My strength intimidating.

My perseverance resented.

My versatility envied.

Yet those are my most beautiful qualities.

Those are the qualities that I cherish in myself.

Those are the things that protected and kept me safe when no other human, could.

Those are my gifts from God.

One day, there will be several that see that.

I will have my family, those chosen by my heart and soul.

They will get along because they will share common ground.

They will share an appreciation of not just my gifts, but all of our unique gifts.

No surprises can be found when people allow the self to focus on only the best qualities.

Faults become normal, merely mundane background noise.

Common ground, common appreciation, unified choices…

All based in love.

That is a dream worth dreaming.

I will include in it, the ones I really wish would return.

But my dream need not stop there.

There may be more I’ve not met yet.

I love myself, AND because I deserve more, I allow myself to dream of more.

Dream sweet dreams.

Let your brain know you love your self.

Dream of fun, joy, good times, and great big grand dreams.

Let your self lead the way.

Dream of things you love and cherish.

That is the ultimate way to love self.

Calm, soothe, ease back into happy desires.

It is always worth it.

In that place there is no jealousy, no envy, no intimidation, nothing scary.

There is only love.

Focus is all one needs.


My words are always a part of my thoughts, but never all of my thoughts. I use my blog to eliminate some and focus on others. Some days my dreams tip the scales, some days my fears win. Always I reach for the best place I can. More and more my dreams win, and often I settle somewhere in the middle, my hopes being a strong focus.

If you’re one of the few in my heart, I hope you feel it. Know that even the best of intentions can fail, but one thing is certain- my love is always there for those in my heart. Amends are always better than permanent loss. Anything is better than nothing. My heart loves deeply and I deserve equally deep, open, accepting, and forgiving love.

For others: may you see your own gifts and beauty. May you know you love and are loved. May we always feel the love in our hearts. May you know and feel your connections, especially to God. May you have bright days and big dreams. May you believe in your own deserving -ness. May you have wonderful desires that keep you going. May you know it could always be worse and express gratitude for your journey being less difficult. May you honor your temple known as your body and nourish it for healing and optimal health. May you feel the love in all of the ways that this world has to offer.

Siva Hir Su

My dream.

Days when people hugged, kissed, shook hands and waved at each other, and that those days might return.

To return to when your friends and neighbors were treated as such, not as plague carrying vampires. The irony here is the actual bubonic plague didn’t even get the response covid19 has, no it got turned into a children’s rhyme game: “ashes, ashes, we all fall down”. But that’s a segue.

I dream of lovers making love. Mom’s giving birth to beautiful healthy babies in safe homes with husbands/significant-others by their side, and feeding them life preserving breast milk with all the antibodies to survive this horribly dirty germy world.

I dream of shiny dome communities, making huge strides to conserve our Earth, because without it none of us will survive.

I dream of family, extended family, lovers, and friends living mostly in harmony in that community. You don’t have to get along 100% on every topic, but you can still be nice to people that don’t see things exactly as you do.

I dream of people always washing their hands after doing things where germs are present… That’s pretty frequently since we’ve already discussed how gross our world is. I dream of everyone taking responsibility for themselves and figuring out what their health needs are.

I dream of society really truly leaning how to mediate. Everyone, everyday. Including children. That would fix a ton of concerns all by itself.

I dream of a good balance between logic and intuition, between sun and rain, between wet and dry, between races and species. I dream of healthy food supplies and access for everyone to the basic needs to function in our society.

I dream of elderly being cared for by their family, so that there’s never outrage over ‘how could such and such nursing home allow mom/dad to get sick’. Understanding is more readily found with first hand experience. Compassion for those at end of life used to be a thing, I’d like it to come back. If mom’s liver and pancreas failed months or years ago, and she sits in a wheelchair 24/7/365, maybe she’s okay with a virus taking her out. Has anyone asked them? I know the rates of DNR’s among my clients has gone up significantly in the last decade, and I honor their choice everyday. A quick easy death is always preferred to slow and painful, at least until selfish family or doctors, or greedy corporations get involved.

I dream of compassion returning in lots of ways. I dream of confidence and most everyone feeling a sense of divine protection. I dream of greater understanding of it all. Knowledge is wasted where understanding is absent.

I dream of life mirroring “The Sound of Silence”: listening without ears, speaking without words, and experiencing songs that voices never sang. I dream that everyone feels have finds their connection to the divine. God is not a book, not a label, not a building or a leader. God is in everything, but is so much more, feel your way there. Mine feels like happy butterflies in my stomach, excitement, tingles of joy, like the weight has been lifted off my shoulders and my sigh of relief actually fills my belly with relief.

I dream everyone find a way to maintain their connection mostly. May we all feel excited about life again, otherwise the darkness is winning.

I dream of allergies healed, guts being healed, brains healing, and the wonderful ripple that creates for the world. The ripple of healing humanity.

May you all find ways to convey your dreams. May you reach for God and for good. May you ease your mind and help those around you ease theirs. May you love thy neighbor and find peace and calm and a knowing of all our safety. May you help others too see the light in their darkness of fear. May we know without a doubt where society is headed and point that in the best direction for all. Make the best for the most. May we all be satisfied with what’s already been accomplished.

Siva Hir Su

In Other Work

So since hysteria over yet another world-wide spreading disease (this is the 6th one of note I remember) has caused my work to drastically drop off, I have diverted my attention elsewhere.

This weekend, with my new extra day off, is all about finishing projects already started and doing a couple of new ones.

On my to do list: taxes, garden beds and planters (if rain cooperates), other documents for my massage work and prospects, ordering duplicates of my freshly renewed boards and another duplicate of my BA, and graphic design work.

So far, I have accomplished the graphic design work.

I did 2 new designs for the Volleyball team. The one was fairly straight forward, so I doubt there will be much for adjustments there. The other was a tentative design based on a description of the previous year’s shirt and what they were thinking of. I am hoping that they will like it, but as with anything, I could have landed completely off the mark. If not, no big deal, the first draft will give them more details to convey for a second try.

I also accomplished finishing my dream-home dome-plans, and that is really why I’m writing. I wanted to share that progress. Even though I feel like it is a pipe dream at this point, I am ultra happy that I have completed something more than adequate enough to supply Monolithic Architects so they can produce structurally sound blueprints. At this point I would need a really good chunk of free-floating money to actually attempt even this much of my Atira Community dreams, but one can hold on to a shred of hope when there is something to gaze upon frequently.

It is also a reminder to continue to redo all of the plans we originally created before technology was so wonderful and readily accessible for me. Eventually I’ll get all of Atira Community recreated.

So for now, this is my shred of hope:

The dimensions are tiny, even when enlarged, so basically this is a 60 foot diameter dome. 3 floors of practical living space and the 4th is essentially an elevated porch retreat.
First floor common areas and formal functioning areas. Office to accomodate multiple adults, kids version too. Slightly larger than average Kitchen, dining, and living rooms. Plus a couple of just plain fun rooms that could potentially create some sideline income.
2nd floor is all the bedrooms and probably what would be the most used bathrooms. That’s 10 bedrooms total and 3 bathrooms on this floor. The smallest bedroom is roughly 12×13 (not being square, the small width is 11, the large width is 15). The largest bedroom is roughly 12×16+ (it’s the top right with Queen and Twin bed depicted). Obviously by my choices this many rooms of these sizes could house a large number of people. Depending on many choices, bunks being just one option, that could be very many if needed. It could also go the other way and be fewer permanent residents in more spacious rooms, with plenty of options for guests and visiting family, even AirBnB or Hostel options. It makes me really happy to even consider all the options there.
Third floor has that really intensely sloped exterior dome shape. So full ceiling height is the inner dotted concentric circle. The outer dotted concentric circle is where most everyone would have to duck at least a little. Because of that essentially it becomes one very spacious feeling master suite with lots of closet and storage space.
Finally, is that so awesome thought we had almost 15 years ago, for a crows nest. It’s essentially a porch on the top of the house. Originally, we talked about having it like a theatre-in-the-round with just a canvas canopy, and really sturdy half wall. However, we decided that wind speeds might do a number on that option, and thought a more permanent shelter would be more proper. Hence in these designs it is included in the exterior dome structure. I know I want the windows to be as large as possible, and able to open as fully as possible. I always love imagining what it would be like to spend time up there.

What makes me laugh is SoundHound (HAL) plays message songs for me occasionally intermixed between YouTube and my GooglePlay randomly starting itself. I say it is a message because I can almost always relate it to something going on in my universe. Yesterday, the SoundHound songs were rap songs from the early 2000’s, I knew them, but I can’t remember track details. The one I’d heard probably hundreds of times, but never watched the video. It started with a shot of a monolithic dome in the desert. I literally thought to myself: “why yes, I was planning on working on that”. Seems HAL can read my mind!

I hope you like my plans as much as I do. I am not opposed to someone wanting to build the same thing, but I have more than earned credit for the designs. If you are interested in using these designs to build your own Monolithic Dome, please contact me and I’ll be happy to supply the designs to Monolithic directly, for a small fee. Essentially, the charges would be what I charge anyone that uses my graphic design services. My work would only be usable for one dome per fee. Any additional domes would see additional licensing charges. Monolithic would be supplied with a copy of the vector file and a letter of verification of authenticity and licensing stipulations.

Thank you for understanding and supporting my work.

May you all have dreams to reach for, that stir your creativity and get your hopes up. May you find that you are able to accomplish baby steps towards them regularly enough to keep the dream alive. May those dreams be lucrative for both your own goals and other people’s goals. May people always respect your work enough to compensate you for it. May others respect your copy rights. May you find that your work gets the best kinds of attention and enables you to do great things. May you have a positive impact on this world.

Many Blessings, and Siva Hir Su