Tag Archives: dream messages

Bizarre Dream

Préface: I Know Mahashivatri is only a couple days away. I am aware of some of the rituals and practices, and leanings of hinduism. I do pay attention to Isha and their activities and videos and thus I have been doing some, but not all of the pre-shivratri meditations. My dream is still bizarre to me, because of my role in the dream.

I had the dream somewhere around 2 am CST this morning (3/9/2021), as I finally woke enough to check time at 2:42 am.

What was this very vivid dream?

It started with people dressing me in attire intended to give me the appearance of a Shivite- long, thick, rich, but otherwise plain looking fabric being wrapped  around me in layers. My breasts had already been covered in a thick flattening tub-top similar to breast bindings, but matching the tan tones of the main fabric. It made me look like an androgenous younger version of Sadhguru himself.

Once fully robed (or is it garbed?) I was led into ceremony. I remember being instructed that at the end of the procession I was to sit on a specific bench in the same posture that Shiva is sometimes depicted. It’s the same pose Sadhguru usually sits in himself. See pic below courtesy of Isha.

https://isha.sadhguru.org/mahashivratri/shiva/shiva-parvati-strange-wedding/

I essentially just walked slowly, surrounded by what seemed like spiritual body-guards wearing similar attire. I was doing my best to maintain posture and composure.

Off to my right there were dancers using fire, and drums were playing a quick beat that made me want to walk faster. There were torches lining the procession path. As I neared my instructed resting place fireworks went off.

As I settled into my instructed pose there was a bright piercing light that emanated from just above the trishula(trident) of the large Shiva statue. It was not the same statue I’m aware of from previous Isha video-events, this statue was almost as large, but was a fully body standing depiction of Shiva. The light beaming down upon me from above, felt like a spotlight that was 10 steps too bright and quite blinding. It caused me to squint and I quickly realized that my face was contorted and tried to adjust my face to the pleasant smile expected of me.

At that point a man began to introduce me as Sadhguru’s appointee.

In the dream I remember very vividly beginning a mental rant directed towards Shiva himself. I’m still working on processing events in my own 3D life from this month and my rant was mostly about that. I was expressing extreme frustration over ‘why the hell I was here when Shiva didn’t really care about the things I care about’. I expressed frustrations over mine and my husband’s healing journey and why don’t we have more to show for our efforts, and why isn’t Shiva doing anything about the larger global picture and Western Medicine causing chaos just to make money off of people knowing they have no plans to actually fix anything. If he’s enlightened and part of divine consciousness then he should be able to miraculously fix things, right?!

I remember in the dream continuing this rant while standing to embrace Sadhguru himself.

Here I was supposedly taking over for an esteemed Yoga and Meditation leader, and I was ranting away at the spirit of Shiva.

Eventually my rant at Shiva caused the dream events to fade away and I woke just enough to feel my body. I felt the Reiki energy on full force and drug my legs from underneath the blanket to release some of the heat it was producing.

It caused me to acknowledge something was afoot in the 5D, and my groggy brain was having difficulty piecing things together.

I simply said I don’t hate Shiva, but I can’t handle the chaos and difficulties indefinitely without some kind of attaboy-good-dog reward. I deserve to experience results of my efforts, and I deserve to see and feel those results in my body and my loved ones. At that point I was just laying on top of the blanket trying to get back to sleep with the heat of the healing energy radiating from me.

At one point in my driftiness, I actually felt my abdominal wall begin to constrict gradually. It is one of the things I have struggled to fix, and I’m currently a bit jealous of a client that was able to have her similar concerns corrected surgically. She took the shortcut for something I’ve been attempting to accomplish on my own since Katherine was born (3 yrs). Last night my abdominals tightened enough that I could feel the misalignment in my spine from them having been too relaxed. I did my best to adjust and pop bones back without loosing the tone that divine energy enabled. It was an odd sensation, but one that I knew was ultimately a good thing. Perhaps it will enable the physical tendons and muscles to regain their rightful consistency and composure in a permanent way, time will tell.

I continued to lay half asleep for the rest of the morning. Alternating between no-mind driftiness similar to meditation, sensing my body, and commenting on things to the divine.

Needless to say when my alarms went off at 6 am I was not ready to get up, and felt like I hadn’t had enough sleep. Of course I really only slept from 10 pm to 2 am, so yeah 4 hours is not a full night’s sleep.

As it is, I’m in a gap at work writing this to try and make sense of all of it. I still don’t fully understand why this archetype speaks to me. I’m a midwestern white girl, with a black husband, and 3 mixed kids, one of which is a teenage stepdaughter. Why does the Hindu God have to be my communicator? It’s not like I fit the expected role for a guru, they’re usually single, chaste, old men. I’m entirely the opposite.

To make matters worse after telling Nathan of my dream I quickly got ready for work and began to head out. As I turned on our van to drive away, the sound that greeted my ears was an Indian male (that distinctive not quite british accent) saying “children quiet down now, we have a special treat in store for you”. It was apparently the start of a morning show that I never listen to because I always bluetooth music from my phone. Yet, I was left with a strong knowing it was a physical validation of everything my brain and body experienced in the wee hours of the morning.

Again, 38 year old white chick born in Ohio and midwestern to the bone. WTF? The gods seriously have a messed up sense of humor.

I’m not saying that my dream is impossible, but it would have to take Sadhguru himself picking someone like me to enable that kind of change. Hinduism isn’t likely to change their ideas on religious leaders and processes unless one of their most important figure heads actively makes those decisions and puts procedures in place to keep the doors open for gender equality.

There are currently too many taboos for women to even participate fully in rituals and services, let alone enable them to have a family and still be a religious leader. My own personal opinion is that many of those decisions were made by men wishing to maintain power control long ago. Some of the things that are taboo are supposedly because things would impact a woman’s menstrual cycle, and being who I am, I’ve tested those waters enough to know it’s bullshit for me. Often if I actually accomplish one of those taboos (downward dog while menstruating is a good example) I actually feel better. I can’t help but wonder how many of the taboos actually don’t impact women at all, and how many might impact energetically in a beneficial way (not negatively as suggested).

Anyway, that’s a side tangent expressing my disbelief in the dream. On one hand, it’d be really amazing if it actually happened, on the other I know I’m not ready to play Sadhguru’s role. Perhaps something similar to a lesser degree, fewer eyes upon me maybe. I have to acknowledge I have yet to master yoga or meditation for myself even, but I do get the basics. I’m still a work in progress, enough to not be the head guru. It’s just odd to me to even contemplate it, knowing all that I know and all that I’m still working on.

So, I simply don’t fully understand the events of the last 12 hours yet. I will leave space open for fuller understanding to eventually be clear to me.

May you understand your dreams and know you are experiencing healing in real time. May you know that your skills are respectable even if you haven’t fully mastered anything. May you know why you experience the divine in the ways that you do. May you know how to handle your experiences and their validations and know how to proceed. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Another Dream Message

I just woke from this weird dream and knew it was another one of my psychic dream messages. It’s been awhile, so even though I’m confused, I’m a bit excited too. So I’m going to do my best to write a coherent blog post at 8am having just woke up.

Background:

This week I switched to another office because the other massage therapist had essentially forfeited her claim to it. It was the office where the chiropractor was able to install the ceiling bar for my need to walk/stand on people, after having hurt my shoulder mildly. I’ve used the office a few times because of the bar, but I’m still not used to it. Every room had pros and cons and I’m just still getting used to the mix that this room has. I’m not entirely comfortable with it just yet. Because of that I’m probably feeling a bit off, and that was definitely either a contributing factor to this dream, or the cue that this message is imminent. In the dream not only was it situated in the new room, but there was a ‘double-booked’ glitch, something that would be a slim to none possibility in my real world experience.

The other factor of this dream seems to be my 3 people, love interests, that have been running in my thoughts for a long while now, but which I had totally given up on. If you’re a regular reader you already know. For those that don’t, the shortest version is: 1- the online person (supposedly Indian immigrant) I fell in love with because I could feel their responses and emotions; 2- a second person they are connected to, either significant other or sibling, whom I also could feel to a lesser degree; 3- another man I could also feel. I gave up on all 3 of them completely, but this dream seems to have nudged me to contemplate them again. In the dream they looked different than previous dreams, so I’m not sure what that means. The man was still same gender and ethnicity, but looked way different. Also in this dream the other two were Asian, but not from India. It leaves me scratching my head a bit. I’m not sure how to interpret that except that maybe God is going to send me those substitutes that I said I was willing to take.

So now the dream:

I looked at my schedule and saw two appointments. I took a guess and went to retrieve the one I thought would show up first, a man. As I walked him back I explained there was a scheduling error and asked him if he had longer that he could wait if I needed to adjust. He said “No, I’ve only got until 8:30 I have to get to work”. I said okay I’ll try and make sure you’re first. As I opened the door to my room, there was already two people in the room and the woman had already gotten on the table between the sheets. I apologized to the man and said please wait a few minutes, and I’ll try to figure out a solution.

I went into the room and started to ask questions, trying to figure out if I could have them wait and use my old room for the man in the hall. The woman spoke very little English, so the man sitting with her would either translate, or just answer for her. She was pregnant and having sciatic pain (super common). As I asked questions about pregnancy and pain details I began to poke at her piraformis muscle (middle of butt cheek). He told me she was 3rd trimester and the pain had come and gone, but this week it was severe. Again that is very common so I proceeded to work the muscles as usual and was thinking about what to do with the man standing in the hall. Suddenly the woman started writhing and grunting and I tried to get her to stretch out on her side. Instead she balled up into fetal position.

I knew she was having a contraction, but that doesn’t necessarily mean full labor had started. I asked the man sitting with her, about birth plans. Then I called the man in from the hall and told him I needed his help. I had him notify the front desk, had him call 911, and then I had him call my midwife. I asked my midwife if she was close or if she could walk me through things over the phone until paramedics could accommodate their original plan. I started directing people to fetch things and do things. I promised the double-booked man that if he could stay and help I’d give him a free massage later and make it very much worth his while. I promised that he wouldn’t regret it, and I understood if he needed a minute to call his work.

That’s when I woke up.

Needless to say I know God gave me another message, but now I’m extra confused. Can’t help but feel excited though.

May you understand your messages from God. May you know you are on the right track. May you know just what to do in sticky situations. May you feel the calm knowing of being able to handle emergencies. May you know you have your proverbial shit together. May you know God loves and supports you. May you know everything will be alright.

Siva Hir Su

Multifidus 2

More tangents of my world, support and aligned functionality.

First, I’m utterly grateful to have been able to help my friend with a systemic MRSA infection. Her last update explained it would be quite a while until she could function normally again, having affected her ability to stand, walk or use her dominant arm, and included a plea for help. I was able to obtain a wheelchair for her for $60 and dropped it off at the hospital between my clinic and retirement community shifts. She now has both a walker and a wheelchair, but she is going to need financial support. As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, she’s in for 6 weeks hospital stay, with rehab afterwards. She was evicted from her apartment due to a combination of Covid closures affecting her income and then being hospitalized on top of it. Friends packed her belongings and stored them, took her pet to care for it, and we’re all pooling resources to the best of our ability, but if you can help it is very much welcomed. Please see the screenshot below for more info.

As for me, I have had an interesting week. Post strep throat I have not been eating during the day at all. Not out of avoidance, simply because I don’t feel the need to. I have a strong sense that like Covid helped the Earth find some healing by keeping us home, my body is finding additional healing by eliminating the desire to eat and thus keeping my digestive tract mostly clear for now. Today it has amplified to a wonderfully intense level. I feel spectacular and my body is really high energy, almost like having one cup of coffee too many, but as I said I’ve not had anything. I’ve literally only had water, a breakfast shake and my supplements today. I feel great and I simply know that I have everything I need in my body already, so much so that it is almost a mantra for me today. I find that I’m am experiencing immense gratitude for feeling a strong sense of healing and well being. I am feeling stronger and healthier everyday, and I had one of my license plate messages that I read as validation of my wellness…W3L UET.

Speaking of my ET, I had one of my dream visits early this morning. It was wonderful and may definitely have contributed to my high energy today. It was a very loving passionate dream, and I am glad that I am having those again. It renews my hope for my future poly family. I love being loved on and those dreams leave me feeling warm and fuzzy for hours. There is also a fair amount of excitement that is left behind in its wake.

I am also feeling appreciation for my self in terms of knowledge and experience. What was triggered by the PA and picked at by a couple of other interactions, leaves me wishing to write a PSA. Here’s the deal, just because you paid for a college degree that left you with a PhD in a specific area of study does not mean you are smarter than others. I have a Bachelor’s degree, plus a year of massage education. If it had been one topic at one school I would be holding a Master’s degree. Beyond that I have hands on experience in both: 2 years in graphic design and 12 years as a massage therapist, 8 of which were self-employed contracting work. I have experience in my own business and others. Beyond that I have been schooled in the hard-knocks of life. I understand diabetes, heart disease, and thyroid function, and pregnancy through levels of direct experience and conversing with multiple medical professionals, some of which are/were definitely more open than others. I have both book knowledge and real life practical application knowledge in multiple areas and multiple sub-topics. I find it quite insulting when someone with “more important letters” behind their name acts like I’m some dummy that doesn’t know what I’m talking about. If I have experience on something I give it, if not I am open to respectful input and do consider others as my equal. But because of such experience I can also tell when someone is doing their best to take the easy way out or avoid dealing with me, and that is simply not acceptable to me, not should it be for anyone. We all need to acknowledge that we all are human beings with a wide array of knowledge and experience and respect each other’s input and do our level best to contribute to each other’s lives in positive ways, whatever that translates into at the moment of interaction. If we did that, the world would be a better place and fewer and fewer of us would be finding frustration in seeking solutions.

I also have taken all of these moments and used them as fodder for focused meditation. My Atira, my vortex, it is becoming clearer and clearer. I can see where my sloppy focus previously allowed for misaligned moments and the failures in my manifestations. At one point I was thinking about my 3 people in my permanent energetic-heart-circle awareness, and slipped into old negative thoughts about them. This time though I caught myself nearly immediately. I literally thought ‘wait a minute, those don’t feel good, that means they aren’t right’. That simple acknowledgement was enough to flip to the opposite thoughts that do feel good. I did a happy dance just for catching myself and a second happy dance for finding what does feel good. I look forward to much better manifestations as a result.

I then applied that moment of positive momentum to the rest of my topics, and that might be why I feel so darn good today. Between giving my digestion a break, acknowledgement of myself and my skills/knowledge- that we’re all equals, and positive thoughts and massive realignment all put together just feels like an amazing combination. I feel “right as rain” and have a strong knowing at the moment that there is no spoon. My only falter is that my spoon takes longer to bend, but that’s an okay thing.

May you feel your way to better days. May you honor other’s skills and knowledge knowing that you also have applicable skills and knowledge. May you find many things to feel grateful for and appreciate. May you see there is no spoon and that shifts in awareness and healing will manifest your desires quick enough. May you be health and have all of the help and resources that you need. May you have moments of appreciation that you are able to help others because you can and you want to. May you have excitingly pleasant dreams and be healthy in mind body and spirit. May you know you are having breakthroughs that will lead to wonderful changes in your physical awareness. May everything be “right as rain” and may you know God loves and supports you.

Siva Hir Su