Tag Archives: efforts to make home

Satisfied… Ahhhhh….

Dora gifs by gfycat.com

Like Dora says, “yea we did it!” And I feel very satisfied now.

Since my last update post a lot has happened.

New Year’s Day was spectacular weather, we spent part of the day outside with the kids and dog. It was great to be outside in just sweatshirts on the first day of the year. I was very grateful for that contrast to last year’s New Year weather. Buddy isn’t allowed to go outside, so he just stood at the door looking longingly outside 😆!

The rest of the day was spent inside watching the Rose Parade on YouTube and munching on a smorgasbord of: black eyed peas and collard greens, raw veggies, hummus, homemade vegan ranch dip, and homemade vegan french onion dip, sweet potato chips and of course some chocolate. I totally over-ate justifying it because all the items were healthy. My stomach reminded me the next day that too much of anything is a bad thing.

Then the 2nd day of January began in chaos.

I needed to go back to work, but was off a bit from my over eating escapade. Anya was off on an extended-family cruise from her mom’s side, so we needed to take littles with us. In the midst of the already extra-work morning routine, Nathan got a phone call that his Uncle had passed. That was upsetting to him because he’d just talked to that uncle on Christmas Day. He needed to call his parents to let them know, so I drove.

Probably because of my state of being, but also the holiday schedule changes, I went to the wrong work location on my first try and ended up at the correct location 5 min late. I gave the appropriate 30 min light swedish massage to the correct person. Just after my resident got up from the massage, he asked me a question. I proceeded to answer him, but noticed his demeanor had changed. He was in what seemed like a mild seizure to me. Being unaware of any history of seizures, I immediately sought staff assistance. By the time an aid responded, less than two minutes later he was not responding. The nurse was called, and by the time they were checking vitals and calling paramedics, he was in full “code”- he had stopped breathing. I helped the nurse and aid lower him from the chair to the floor and CPR was started. Paramedics were there within 5 and took over. I was asked details of what happened and they rushed him to the hospital.

I suspect he had a stroke, and if he survives it will be because of my immediate response and fast coordination with staff. Regardless I won’t know anything for a while. All I could do was proceed with my day, which was now 10 min late. I sent prayers for my resident every time he came to mind, and literally flew through my day staying 10 min late the whole way.

That is until leaving for for my final obligation of the day. Closing appointment for our home. We actually ended up being there 10 minutes early.

I was excited because it had been delayed twice, but also hesitant because it had been delayed twice.

Everything went okay though and we walked out with a key to our new home.

We had a celebratory meal and then stopped at our new home to make sure the key worked and we could get in. Also, to check what needed to happen before moving. It does need cleaned and we always smudge first. Plus I’m insistant that new door knobs and security is addressed before actually moving in. So those are on today’s to do list for Nathan.

I’m so very excited for our new home. It is not a perfect home having been built in the 60’s, but all the things that matter most are in good to excellent condition. I’m looking forward to the changes we talked about before even making an offer, and I’m so glad I’ll be able to make a pretty yard and have a true home office for working with some of my clients. It is definitely a step in the right direction.

I will leave you with a few pictures of the house that were taken before the previous owner fully moved out. For anyone that might have dubious intentions, I’ll point out there is no geo-tagging on these pictures and the house number was taken down when pictures were taken. Also, this lovely home looks like probably 20,000 others within the multiple cities of the KC metro, so you’d have to do quite a bit of advanced intellectual legwork to find it, not impossible but definitely difficult at best.

May you have chaos free days and clients in good health. May you have happy New Year’s and positive results. May you find the home you seek and make it your own. May you have progress and real happy endings. May you be surrounded by helpful and loving people. May you have all the love and support you need.

Siva Hir Su

Ouch!

Watch “Abraham Hicks 💓 Let FUN guide you [NEW]” on YouTube

https://youtu.be/1sYIZMsL01M.

I’m so very guilty of this. Guess I understand at least part of why the last 3 years has gone the way it has. I really need figure out how to stay-permanently- on the positive vortex side.

It’s funny: scaring off people I really like on one hand; & introducing other friends to polyamory & law of attraction on the other hand (I’ve discovered different friends have gravitated to one or the other in the last couple of years, & I was the one that introduced the concepts). I literally told Nathan when he informed me of that: “Why the hell do I keep helping others find things I have yet to fully figure out for myself?!”

———

As for me:

I just keep getting better and better at solving a never ending slew of problems. Nursing is slowly resolving: they went ahead and clipped Katherine’s tongue-tie even though the front was mild, with a disclaimer that since it wasn’t bad it might not solve things, & the rear may be more significant, but also more costly to clip. It’s solved maybe 70% of the pain. The other 30% is very, very slowly backing off as my nipples heal. I really wish I could speed that process up more, but I’ve been told its going quickly compared to others with that much damage- probably because all the goop I’m using repeatedly. I’m also in the midst of figuring out adrenal & thyroid balance post birth to put an end to the emotional nose dives and roller coaster ride I’ve been on for the last 3 weeks. Nursing problems or not, I knew the extreme falls were needing an extra look, & my last 2 tweaks seem to have made significant headway.

Now I just need to get into the doc to renew my desicated thyroid prescription.

I do wish though that Dr. Illardi would revisit his Depression Cure book with postpartum needs and situations in mind, that puzzle could use his perspective. I’ve had a heck of a time trying to apply his findings to “eat when they eat, sleep when they sleep” new baby logic, while still attempting to retain the allergy needs dictated by 3rd trimester, trying to stimulate lactation, having difficulty with severe breast pain, and not being able to leave my room half as much as I’d prefer. It’s a puzzle that has already threatened to get the better of me, but as usual I’m fighting with all I’ve got.

——–

In other news:

The basement is also coming along well. Our “living room”/ multipurpose room is nearly complete, and we’re finally working on unpacking things beyond clothing.

The storage area behind the brown chair will eventually get covered with a curtain. That is once I’m certain the crack in the ceiling no longer leaks when it rains.

My child already made friends with the Lego’s in the new open floor space, but there is still room for 2 pieces of exercise equipment, a large dog kennel (blue sheeted cube) , & stacked tables for organizing short term storage & usables.

The other table currently a mess, is intended for being art space, and most (but not all) of what is on it is art supplies. To that end I fully intend to sort & organize to actually be able to use it for its intended purpose.

Nathan’s goal has been to tackle organizing our portion of kitchen stuff in the garage & to make the garage usable space again. He’s about three quarters of the way through that process, but it looks a ton better and you can actually walk around in the garage now (as opposed to squeezing through & still being afraid of tripping, like it was a couple of weeks ago).

It’s starting to feel like home, and to that end we’re getting closer to having everything moved. Nathan’s down to missed odds and ends, & the large outdoor items. Life is finally starting to seem normal again, and things are beginning to look pretty again. That I have to thank the gods for. I asked Kali almost 3 years ago to help me make things pretty again (when I hit the remodeling-brick-walls with the trailer), and it’s finally beginning to take shape, just not the way I thought it would. SO not the way I envisioned.

Anyway, Hannah is giving the home a glorious garden. She helped me rescue plants I’d started the previous 2 years. & those combined with her plants from before, her amazing touch, a bunch of seeds, and a few new plants, things are looking great.

The view of the Iris’ from our room is wonderful too.

Finally, I’ve made cards for a couple of people that were very generous with me this year, birthday & baby wise. I was going to make a 3rd, but that person is nearly blind, so I’m not sure yet how to honor her generosity. Beyond that, it’s taken me over a month, but I’m almost done with an adult coloring page I’m in love with- an elephant.

I can’t take full credit for the cards, the cats were inspired by a single kitty I saw somewhere, & the cover words were also found. I just put my personal touch on it, crafting it with watercolors on heavy art paper, feeling like that meant more than a store bought card. I hope they feel the same way when they get them.

——–

So up, and down, and all around.

My husband and Hannah both keep telling me that I’m amazing & should be congratulating myself. I still have difficulty seeing it, knowing the thousands of things I would still like to accomplish. I do have my moments where I’m like “Yeah I’m a bad-ass giving birth and all the challenges and I’m still trucking with a healthy beautiful baby to-boot”. I just wish I could figure out how to maintain those moments consistently without seeming like or sounding like a narcissistic bastard… Yes that is a fear of mine. Yet another challenge. …

My last request for the day: one less challenge to overcome, let something be easy for once. Let a something, for everyone, be easy for once.

*Siva Hir Su.*

1 step closer.

This will be a really short update on construction. Baby is still not here yet, but I’ve had many people note that “baby has dropped”, which is usually an indication the end is nearing.

Our’s & baby’s bedroom before- note unfinished wall far right:

Same space afterwards- multiple views:

My son’s bed & dresser didn’t really fit without feeling crowded, still he’ll be in the other room that was intended as a playroom.

That space “kids room” before:

The “kids room” currently:

Walls have been washed since the pictures, but still need trimmed out to look like our bedroom.

We also have 1 more panel to cut to wrap the furnace, 2 to finish out the tub room, then panneling will be completely finished.

Last night brought plumbing issues that threatened my diligent work, so 5am tears were shed & quick cleanup started. I had to leave for work entrusting that Nathan & Hannah & teens would ensure full & hasty cleanup. I left Nathan with cash originally intended for baby stuff, in case a plumber needed called.

I’m fairly certain my 3 year old son is at fault, probability having flushed something that shouldn’t have, mainly because the problem started out of nowhere. Frustrating me further because my son is so smart that 3 adults and 3 teens can’t keep up with him and his desire to know how everything works. But I suppose his intelligence will someday be less testing and more fruitful.

I’m hoping I get back to everything being solved and cleaned up, sanitized, and fans running to dry everything out quickly. Crossing fingers. If it is, we’ll be able to finish everything vital next week, as 3 panels and a bunch of trim should hang in roughly a day. *sigh* almost there.

Almost there.

So I’m inching closer to baby being here, and doing my best to inch closer to being done with room construction.

Last Tuesday I spent all day long- 5:30 am to about 7:30 pm completing the majority of the electrical needs for the new rooms. Anger, worry, and frustration got me started so early, and pure determination kept me moving.

I ran a new line for the 5 sockets/recepticals on the new wall, and used an existing line to split off for 3 new light fixtures & 2 other recepticals. With all of our low amp gadgets and toys these days, I figured the 20amp lines would do OK with those additions, especially since the light fixtures now have LED bulbs. The new line still needs set into the breaker box, and the ceiling fan (1 of the 3 fixtures) needs mounted, but everything else is complete.

The next step was to start installing panelling. Nathan started that and Hannah did her best to help, but neither had done it before, so there were some cutting errors. So last night I did my best to solve the errors to avoid needing to replace panels, and after a brief melt-down, managed to do so. We then proceeded to finish panelling the wall & Hannah and Nathan placed 2 panels in the kids room. Things are moving along.

All that’s left to call our master bedroom (2nd master for the house now) complete is to hang 2 panels, install the ceiling fan, mount all the trim, & hang a door (or 2) in the wide doorway. Nathan & Hannah said they’d try to get trim down today, & since I work all day ( until about 7:30pm), that’s a good thing. Whatever they don’t get to, I will get another chance Monday evening.

I will again have all day Tuesday as well, so perhaps we’ll be able to finish everything for real this time. If not, we at least have enough that we can set-up for birth & baby.

I am sooo looking forward to normal and calm returning. I have found a new level of functional exhausted that I previously thought was impossible; having had periods of functional exhausted several times in my life I thought I’d already experienced my limits. Yet, this time I have a more finite time frame to exist in this manner, and knowing the end is near and time off will be available, I keep persisting. All will pay off soon.

And now for the pictures…

Last view I showed in my previous post:

Hannah assembling our new bed… Nathan helped but stopped to snap a pic.:

Panelling in progress, with electrical already in place (apparently no one snapped a picture of me doing the electrical, or the end result):

Pregnant Me hanging panels:

New wall panels completed (outside & inside):

The dusty dingy look is the sawdust on the panels & it’ll wash of easily. It looks great & will look perfect once trim is up over cracks & ceiling/floor borders.

I will have something pretty for the first time in 2 years and I’ll have running water again. I honestly owe it to my personal faith in god and working with the Shiva & KaliMa archetypes these last 2 years. I asked for help in making things pretty again and the divine is doing just that. I’m ever so grateful. Everything is going to be OK and life is improving. Thank you. Siva hir su.

Oscillating again.

I’m having a devil of a time attempting to stay buoyant these days. Between the discouraging lack of affordable decent housing, and being unable to let go of and move on from the boy, I keep finding myself in the hole. It doesn’t help that my depression puzzle pieces keep falling out of place, not all at the same time, but it seems I struggle to keep 3 or 4 of the six together at any given moment. It definitely contributes to my down-ness.

Anyway, this post is intended to get my mind on happy thoughts for as long as I can, so it might end up being long (apologies in advance).

 My goal is to show what I would love for the inside of my home to look like. Right now I’m really, really far from my desired look, and no one picture or item conveys the complexity of what I want. So I’m going to show as many elements as I can and describe what I like about them or why. 

My examples are pulled from online(google), and there’s a bunch of pictures, so I didn’t cite their sources. However, most of them, the screen shots caught the descriptions, so you’re welcome to get to them that way. I just want to clarify that these are all found images that I happen to appreciate, I take no credit for their existence.

So to start, I wanted to show furniture styles that I have always liked. I love furniture that looks clean and simple, but also is very functional. These pics are things that represent styles I’ve always liked. The qualifier here is I also like color, so even though these are muted colors, I’d rather have beautiful shades of reds and greens and blues. 

The sofa I love because it’s not only a guest sleeper, but it has a huge storage compartment under the chaise, and it’s affordable.

Chairs: I still like clean lines and simple designs, but I much prefer high back chairs for good back and neck support.

Chaise: I don’t know why, but I’ve always wanted just one of these. Perhaps it’s because several of my favorite novels from years back had one in their story lines.

Bedroom happiness: more clean lines, more organization. Color, in the bedroom, for me, falls in linens, curtains, and wall colors, so I’m OK with neutral colored furniture. I usually prefer lighter neutral furniture, but I do think I’d like to try having the dark woods in my own bedroom for a change. The more easy storage the better, it helps reduce and eliminate clutter.

I’d love to have a huge closet with built in customized shelves and drawers, but the more realistic, regular life solution is the very affordable Ikea beauties I like below. Mmmm that  would be nice.

Finally the environment: I do love color. I have always loved color like you find in Mexico, Greece, India, and China. At one point I thought it would be amazing to have a room decorated with each feel in mind. I also thought it would be great to have color themed bedrooms like castles in England… ” you’ll be staying in the blue (or green, etc.) room, just down the hall, first door on the left”. I’m not sure I’d actually go that far, but it’s a nice idea. So, with that in mind, here are some color schemes I found that I like.

The first three images, I also love the open spaciousness and simplicity. I love that they look clean, and homey, but not filled with clutter. Just enough artwork to be  interesting, but not too much for the eyes to take in.

More themed color and great storage.

These last 3 I really love the colors, but they are a bit more busy and cluttered looking than I’d like.

So now, you have a good idea of what I’d love for my home to look like. I’m sure there’s more I could elaborate on, but this is definitely a good start, and spending the time looking for pics and writing about the results definitely got my mind in a better place. That much was a great success. Here’s to more up moments, and hopefully to a great birthday soon as well.

Sort & eliminate….

The shipping container idea has gone nowhere.  No responses,  nada, zip, zilch, none. I find it interesting that I have 2 grand I’m willing to give someone in cashiers check,  money order,  cash even- as long as I get something I can turn into a home. Yet nothing.  It’s just not shaking out. I’m not giving up yet,  but it’s becoming increasingly evident that I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere Missouri, and for whatever reason nothing,  absolutely nothing, is cooperating with me.

So plan, whatever letter I’m on….

Work on downsizing.  Assuming that the shipping  container will eventually manifest, I’ve acknowledged that we still possess far too much stuff to fit in said tiny home. & even if something bigger & better happens, we still have more stuff than we’re using or which I desire to move again. Also, most of what is in storage hasn’t been used in 16 months anyway, so obviously that stuff wasn’t needed. 

So, I’m using my current set of days off to remedy that.  We’ve ploughed through our storage unit separating trash, from items we really want (or that have gone in & come out of storage with changing of seasons), and from things others could use.

Where we started: 

We’ve trashed a lot.  We’ve set-up a garage sale at the unit & so far we’re about half way through the weekend and I’ve only sold a little furniture.  I wasn’t  expecting to make a lot of money,  I have yet to do so off of yard sales ever.  I was merely hoping stuff would disappear with a minimum of effort & get a little fun money in return.

Regardless, the items that don’t sell will get dispatched with. Donated to thrift, books to half priced books,  there’s a few comic books & specialty  game cards that the Vintage Stock store might take. Otherwise, I’ll take anything else to the dump. I hate being wasteful, but if no one else will claim it,  then trash it is.

As of right now the storage unit is much more sparse.  Only our camping stuff,  Jennifer’s 4 giant monstrosities (piano, deep freeze, cast iron stove, and grain bin), & Nathan’s big pile of photographic supplies/equipment. 

Nathan’s pile is 13 totes 3 small boxes & 2 pieces of large equipment. He swears he’s going to follow suit & thin the herd. That’s a lot of thinning to do, & 30 years of attachment to things I rarely see him even handle. I hope he is as successful as we’ve been with everything else.

To be fair & honest, we’ve both collected a lot over the years.  Him 30+, me 15+. We’ve also combined parts of 4 homes together: Nathan’s farm house (from when he was married to Anya’s mom), His Ex-Girlfriend’s house from the same period, my apartment from that period, and Anya’s mom’s house after she died. Now, in each instance we purged a lot,  but anything that seemed useful, neat/cool, or “pretty” was kept.  Probably what should have happened is donate everything from at least 2 of those houses, & part of Nathan’s and my previous homes. There would be less this time around.
But that’s life right.  Live & learn.  Collect things & information & figure out what’s actually useful or not. We just seem to be a little slow on the uptake. 

So, here I sit in 90 degree heat, enjoying the windy sunny day from inside the storage unit hoping someone will alleviate my need to haul things off.

Photo time: 

Left to right: camping stack, photo stuff stack, back corner deep freeze & grain barrel (with the legs to my drawing table on top), cast iron stove,  piano with my drawing table in front. 

There are a few miscellaneous items & 2 easels hiding in there,  but that’s really all that’s left.  The few boxes on top of the piano are either empty or already sorted.

View of inside from outside: 

The big ceramic piece next to my seat (behind the dolly & empty boxes) is going in our garden later today. It’s called T&A and was done by a friend of Nathan’s.  I’m certain it will stay with us for life. 

Outside view: 

All going away, no matter what. 

 There’s a tractor pull in the town our unit is in (literally about 1/2 mi away). Cross your fingers that people come alleviate me of stuff when the tractor pull wraps up!