Tag Archives: exercise

Loud.

So, I like loud music. Period. Not all the time, but enough of the time I probably annoy others.

Partly because I actually love feeling the music in my body, the percussion and resonance soothe me. It’s a side effect of having been a serious band geek as a kid.

Also partly because the music seeps in more quickly when it’s loud, so I use it to drown out the rest of the world and it’s intrusive energies. Plus there is a little hearing loss from having two screaming babies on top of decades of loud music, though all things considered- really not much hearing loss.

Anyway, today I invoked loud for another workout. I again was able to leave work early, and I’m pushing myself at every opportunity because I really do want to feel better. I’m still on the fence emotionally, so every effort is counting big time. I am doing my best to maximize my climb back up at every possible opportunity. It still seems to be excruciatingly slow progress.

The two tracks that seemed to help the most are linked below.

They helped me in many ways. I was able to focus on speed on the treadmill, and both tracks have messages that help me focus mentally. The Prodigy track utilizes a mantra I have benefited from, and had a good message about making a new better world. And keep hope alive- that’s pretty self explanatory. They are both in my personal music collection, and they were not the only tracks I listened to, but just the ones that seemed to help the most today.

So other than some Jello legs from two intense workouts in a row, I’m starting to feel better. It’s still going more slowly than I’d like, but I’ll keep pushing until I get back to normal.

If I could eliminate certain feelings it’d be easy. But I still have certain things eating at me and I’m not sure if they’re old ingrained patterns resurfacing (despite previous efforts to kill them), or if I’m picking up on other’s similar patterns. Either way I can’t seem to kick them out permanently yet. I’ll keep trying like I always do.

May you have good exercise, stable mental health and feel generally good. May you have several someones you can rely on when things get difficult for you. May you always have tools readily available to help solve whatever problem you are facing.

Om Shanti

There I go scaring people again.

So I just finished my workout for today. It was rather amusing. I walked to the park near work (Broadmoor Park) for my warmup. Once at the park I commenced my run/walk combo around the third of a mile loop. The first couple of laps I eased in gradually running short stints and walking in between. By my 3rd lap I was pushing myself to make it half way around the loop before returning to my speed walk pace.

Needless to say the cussing started, spliced in between “you can do it Treasa” and “so close, just a little further”. I had noticed a couple of ladies in the pavilion chatting. After my second lap of cussing and self pep-talk they disappeared, I guess I scared them off. I grumbled at first awareness of that, and then reminded myself that I’m on my own: no one is here to help, soothe, or encourage me on my workouts. That was more than enough justification to return to my cursing and pep-talk.

Anyway, I was happy with my results, one lap my legs actually relaxed into the running motion and I almost made it 2/3’s of the way around the loop. I was super excited for that moment, it means I’m inching towards making friends with running.

I also discovered that my tracker is now keeping a graph of my speed, that’s really nice since I’m not on a treadmill still not being able to enter any of the area gyms. Regardless, I still want to get back on treadmills, because my body is not enjoying the percussion and alignment issues caused by hard concrete and uneven terrain. My right leg wants to keep locking up and left leg has jammed into the pelvic socket a couple of times.

Anyway, here are the stats of my run. It was 9,000 of my nearly 10,000 steps for the day so far. The 15mph at the end was a fluke (maybe cell com related), because I finished the last half lap and return to work at fairly moderate walking pace for my cool down.

On another note the diet, though boring and bland is going well. I’ve been spacing my snack-meals perfectly because it has literally triggered the nauseous “you must eat now” response just like in pregnancy. That is a wonderful sign. I’m also staying on top of my selenium, seaweed, and iodine intake to combat the thyroid nodules. I’ve even restarted hormone supplements to help with that as well. Beyond that, I have finally begun to loose weight again. I’m down to 211 from 220.

Another 21 pounds and I’ll be back to my post birth weight from first pregnancy. That makes me happy. Considering I spent 20 of my 37 years at nearly 300 pounds it makes me really happy to be much smaller. Knowing no doctor would ever make a real effort to help me get there, and I’m doing it on my own even with huge health barriers is even more spectacular. KMA western medicine. You’ll figure this shit out eventually, and I’m really glad I haven’t fallen for your “here just take these pills for the rest of your life” routine.

May you have great workouts. May you have all the right words to keep pushing yourself to better, even if they are swear words. May you have evidence of your improvement as further encouragement. May you know you can do it. May you feel better and know you are healthy enough to keep going, keep trying, and keep improving. May you know you can find improved health and heal your body. May you feel better about yourself. May you believe in yourself and love yourself.

Siva Hir Su

Beauty full day

Today I took a run-walk between clinic and independent living shifts. The weather has finally perked up and it’s feeling wonderful.

I still only managed my bouts of 2 to 3 minutes of running amidst my speed walking. One of these days I’ll be able to say I’m a jogger. I look forward to making friends with running, but admit I’m not there yet.

Anyway, being close to 2nd job work, I had a different view than normal. So, before I headed in for my shift I stopped for a few pictures to show the beauty to be had.

I used the last picture as inspiration for my pen drawing this afternoon. It was welcome creativity to fill otherwise empty time. I still have almost 2 hours of my day left and other than answering the phone and a couple deliveries to residents, I’ve not got much left to do. So, there may end up being a start to another drawing. These little sketches don’t take very long for me to do. That’s why I work small when I’m fitting drawing in between necessary tasks.

Anyway, here’s the start and result of the drawing:

May you have lighter work days, but still ample income. May you enjoy your down time. May you have sparks of creativity. May you feel inspired. May you know everything is okay. May you enjoy your days mostly. May you appreciate all of your non-work time.

Siva Hir Su