Tag Archives: experience

Angelic Amusement

My first flight was a little bit like an amusement park ride. There was quite a bit of mild turbulence. Most of the passengers were completely unfazed.

I however, found myself closing my eyes and feeling the sensations. It reminded me of amusement rides when I was little. Jostling in all directions. It gave me butterflies in my tummy and made me giddy with excitement. It was so fun.

Between bumps and jostles I spent most of my time looking out the window and trying to take pictures. It was so beautiful.

What was a dark and gloomy rainstorm leaving MCI turned into a blanket of soft fluffy cotten clouds once we were above. I found myself seeing shapes in them, just like when I lie on the ground and to watch for hearts and animals.

It was just so beautiful.

Now I know why stories tell us that angels live up here, it’s so beautiful that it must belong to angelic beings.

As we neared Chicago the clouds disapated to reveal postage stamp farms below. It was simply just beautiful and amazing. I am ever so grateful for this experience.

I hope I get to do many more of these things called flights. Perhaps as a whole family too! That would be most excellent.

I just realized that my one and only Amtrak train ride went through Chicago and my first flight is going through Chicago! Two firsts with the same layover! Plus I have now seen NavyPier from the ground and air and water! (Air view is the photo at top.)

BTW, the acupuncturist reminded me to take gum to chew to help with ears popping. I’m so very grateful she told me that. I hadn’t even thought of it and it helped a lot!

May you have wonderful firsts and especially wonderful flights. May you find immense gratitude for most all things, but especially when you are experiencing something for the first time. May everything be the most beautiful and wonderful experience in your now moment. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

If you love it, be willing to experience it fully.

I was working on finding my joy, my connection to God. Intrusive thoughts were hampering that, and I got stuck on one.

Guns.

But because I was headed towards better, I saw them in a whole different light. I thought, if people love their guns so much, why don’t they want to experience them fully?

If you really loved guns, you would want to hold them, caress them, fondle them, kiss them. And if you were really, really in love with guns you would want to experience them as fully as you could. So while you were kissing it, you’d just pull the trigger and it would take you to God instantly. That is the truest fullest expression of experience of the thing called a gun. That would be the ultimate experience of that creation.

Yet, people that swear they love guns can never bring themselves to fully experience it.

You know what I love?

I love art and music and cuddling kitties and seeing my kids smile. I love relaxing in sunshine and playing with my children. I love seeing my husband smile and relax. I love love. I love companionship. I love yoga, comfortable exercise, and being healthy. I love helping others heal and relax and feel better.

Did you know that all of my things take me to God too?

I let myself do them as much as I can, and I experience them in as many ways as possible, and as often as possible. Yet, I’m not sure that any single one of my loves could take me to God as fully as the gun. I’m not sure I could ever find so much joy and pleasure in any one of my desires that I would get to release to God immediately.

Oh, I’ve tried.

I have immersed myself in art so much that a whole day disappears, and I never ate or drank or even needed to go to the bathroom. My mind only registered art.

I have immersed myself in music enough to loose a few hours at a time.

I immersed myself in birthing two children. With my son I barely noticed 12.5 hours had passed. With my daughter I barely noticed 24 hours passed.

I have immersed myself in work at several points in my adult life and looked back to a whole year having passed and saying “where did the time go?”.

But never has one of my loves taken me all the way to God, wholly and completely.

The gun, it’s unique. If you are willing to experience it as fully as it was intended, it’ll take you straight to God.

Maybe we should all make love to the gun.

Or maybe that’s why we’re so damn afraid of it.

We’re afraid of what God would say if we experienced it fully and completely. If that’s the case, why do you love them?

Things that seem questionable to me are not things that I find love and joy in. I have tried things as an adult I knew immediately felt wrong. I have avoided things that didn’t even need tested or tried to feel wrong. My body tells me things it doesn’t love and I walk away from them as best as I’m able, even when it’s inconvenient.

If it feels good and feels better that is what we are supposed to reach for, to the fullest of our ability. No matter what that is. No matter if it is daunting, challenging, inconvenient, or expensive. If it brings joy, go there, fully and completely and it will connect you with God to the fullest of it’s ability. All of this world is creation, and all of it has a place for some reason, experience it as fully as you are able.

Food for thought.

May you know what you truly love, and be able to experience it fully. May your loves take you as close as possible to God. May you know God loves you, and supports everything that you really love.

Siva Hir Su

I need LIFE.

Social media has been invading my space lately. My close circle of friends and family have been telling of things heard and seen, and blog-o-sphere is passing around “awards” that are really just new renditions of chain-mails which used to pass via Facebook and email. I seem to be being inundated, and on top of all the continued Covid stuff, it leaves me with a much stronger desire for life itself.

You see, these social media games are not life. They are merely feel good tidbits masquerading as social interaction. None of these moments will last and many will be forgotten by next week. They will simply become an old blip in some server that time forgets.

I need things that are more tangible. Memories that are remembered fondly for years to come. I have a whole host of memories already, and I have people I genuinely care about in my here and now, with which to create new memories continuously.

I have a loving husband, whom I told over lunch that I wish to give him an overdue massage tomorrow. I enjoy physical contact and the focus it brings and all too often we allow kids and pets and electronics to be a distraction. So out of love, I requested he make plans to set aside a couple of hours tomorrow for us to have focused time with each other. I will give him a massage just like my clients get every other day of the month. We might take just a little more time for conversation or cuddling- we are spouses after all, but I knew it was time for something very tangible and very focused, and I took the initiative to make a solid plan.

It is not our only attempt, we have date nights frequently. However, date nights involve food and atmosphere and other types of distraction, so I simply wanted a more focused moment for this week.

Those public interactions like date night are still part of my interactive life, and still vital to my experience. They are also fond moments and memory makers. They let me feel connected to this world and like I am a part of it.

It may seem silly, but I’ve actually become fond of people giving me the look that I know is based in judgement. That look that conveys “what is that woman wearing” or “why doesn’t she shave”. Those moments validate my existence in this world, and tell me I am leaving some sort of mark. I have caused a ripple that who knows where it will lead. Sometimes I wonder if I am leaving the positive ripple I hope to, but I know I frequently challenge people’s ideas and paradigms. Even if that is the totality, just the challenge I present, I still feel like it at least helps others examine their own self. Perhaps in that moment I contribute to minds becoming more open, and more possibilities manifesting. I like that feeling.

I also enjoy watching others interact and trying to figure out how people might be connected. Are they co-workers or on a date, are they friends or family? It lets me see that my little life is merely one of very many in this world. A world full of people that God loves and wants the best for. A world full of people sperated by just a few degrees of acquaintances.

But LIFE is soooo much more.

Life is smiles and hugs. Life is seeing your children be born and learning new splendid things. Life is being there for the grumpy old man that has made sure you can’t get him to drop the grumpy and find any shred of happy; and even with him doing his best to drag you down with him. Life is helping your mom when she’d rather hide. Life is helping a friend try to decided if a lump is scary or harmless. Life is getting drunk with a friend because she was dumped and needs a shoulder to cry on. Life is parties and birthdays and anniversaries. Life is shopping and errands and finding fun ways to flow money. Life is going to the zoo and taking walks in parks. Life is watching the birds and smelling the flowers.

Life is everything around us and there are so many good splendid things that if you hide in fear of anything you will miss them all.

That is what I need more than ever. I need the interactions, the dates, the destinations, the real people in front of me for better or worse. I need the birds and the bees and the flowers and trees. I need exercise and sun and rain. I need to breathe fresh air, even at risk of breathing pollen, mold or viruses. I would rather live a good enjoyable life at risk than hide in fear and miss everything. I might die younger from the risks, but will have enjoyed more of my time here on this planet.

There are so many things I wish to do with my life. Even beyond my dreams of building my community and business Atira.

I wish to travel and see more of this world. Talking to my client this morning reminded me of that. He had seen Western United States, and I’ve seen the Eastern half, so we were telling each other of memorable enjoyable things we’d done. It reminded how much of this world I have not seen, but which I very much want to. I can not do that if I’m busy hiding in fear.

I personally do not do well stuck at home looking at the same walls day in and day out. Even when my children were born and my midwife told me I needed to rest and recuperate, my body simply would hit a wall where I needed sun, fresh air and movement. I simply had to go be part of the world even though I was not strong enough to work or do any strenuous activity. I needed to know there was a reason for my existence in the world.

You see if you don’t interact with the world God can not experience the world through your perspective. Even monks in monasteries participate in the world and interact with life, even if it is just a butterfly in a garden or other monks. Trying to hide from the world closes you off, affects your senses and slows the connection to God.

I know for certain that I am not alone in this perspective or paradigm. It may not be completely accurate for everyone, but it is accurate for many. I see it in my residents. Those that have found a way to get out and continue to experience at least part of this world are far less affected than those that have been sequestered in permanent quarantine. Permanently quarantined people are declining at alarming rates, while those that found a way to stay active have mostly managed to maintain their health.

There is a part of our being that needs to go and do, it is part of the human experience of this 3D physical perspective. If you deny that part of the self in a long term or permanent sort of way it literally degrades your physical health because you disconnect from that which you are.

Be in your self and honor every bit of yourself; from food to sunlight to movement to social atmosphere and friends and family. It’s a big puzzle, and sometimes it can be a little overwhelming to try and keep it all together, but if you reach for the fun of it, every moment becomes worth it. Your memories will remind you of all of the good you experienced for doing so, and even the risks become worth it.

May you see all of life as valuable. May you overcome your fears. May you know the risks are worth it. May you know it’s not your time because you have too many things you still wish to do and experience. May you know your days give God much needed input. May you know you are here for a reason and your perspective matters. May you enjoy life mostly. May you know you are loved and supported and that there are many around you whom you wish to interact and make memories with. May you feel your place in this world and enjoy your life mostly.

Siva Hir Su