Tag Archives: family

Gratitude is good.

Today I express gratitude for my health.

I gave 2 very deep tissue massages intended to fix knees and related woes, then walked 10,000 steps and did 20 minutes of weight lifting. All of this and I still did 2 more hours of lighter massage.

The lifting let me see that I had mostly maintained or improved my strength despite having slacked on going to the gym for almost 2 years. I had only lost ground on the leg press by 5 pounds, resulting in a 195 lb lifting capacity. Everything else either maintained or went up. My arms were where I saw the increase, and triceps had gone up by 10 pounds since last lift. That was a happy dance moment. All these deep tissues are building my strength.

I’ve also brought all of my blood sugars all the way back to normal, even with sugary holiday foods. The adjustments I’ve made have fixed my biggest concern. Maybe that’ll mean the weight will finally start dropping.

I also express gratitude for my children and family time.

Yesterday was Halloween, All Hallows Eve, All Saints Day, Samhain. My children dressed as a lady demon, The Flash, and a ladybug. We trick-or-treated briefly and then spent time with friends including kids of same ages. It was a good time full of fun, and of course Katherine causing mischief.

Additionally, I express gratitude for downtime and holy days.

This coming Sunday will be my first bonified day of downtime in a month. I worked 2 Sunday’s and had the wedding in between, so this Sunday is do what I want *squeals with delight*. What does that mean… I plan on working on the dome design some more, maybe doing some beading, and we discovered the local temple is holding their Diwali festival this Sunday (I was afraid I missed it because of working last Sunday), so yep I’ll be there. I look forward to a celebration of unity and oneness. Right here at home.

Furthermore, I’m grateful for my husband keeping all the parts moving despite the oldest child being gone a lot for sleepovers and other fun stuff with friends.

Finally, I’m extremely grateful for sick burns of cheeto head and humor in general. (Nathan shared these with me by text from his Facebook, since I’m not on Facebook to do a direct share.)

May you find humor, enjoy your family, have restful enjoyable celebrations and plenty of downtime. Finally, may you see your good health and all your efforts paying off.

Siva Hir Su

Joyous celebrating.

Today I had another forced fasting, and probably tomorrow as well. Hangover induced from wedding celebrations. Man I pissed my liver off!

The wedding was wonderful, I was able to help my little brother setup and tear down a beautiful celebration. It was not expected by him, as they had planned everything as meticulously as I would have. However, I showed up with gusto and my ready, willing, and able attitude. So he allowed me to assemble their archway and help setup chairs. I was more than happy to oblige both.

The night before, and during the day of the wedding, my mom and eldest brother thought it great to get everyone schnooked. I can only speak to myself and my observations. I know I was fully inebriated at least 4 times, and it seemed to me I wasn’t alone. During the reception when speeches started, mom looked around our family table and asked: is anyone sober enough to give a congratulatory speech to them. My eldest brother having years of military drinking under his belt conceded that he was likely best able even when drunk. It was a too funny moment, but his speech was as wonderful as any.

I was very glad to see my youngest brother have a wonderful wedding and glad to see the family together. I wished him well many times over and gave him as many hugs as I could inflict on him. (My family is not exactly touchy feely and Nathan and I usually push those boundaries a bit.) It’s worth it though. I got very mushy several times over.

The only one not present was dad, and we all knew why. I was slightly sad because my dad really has no clue why most of the family ignores him. My eldest brother and I are really the only ones that keep in contact with him and do our best to keep track of him. We’ve both come to our own understanding that though his methods were least desired by us children, he was merely doing what he knew how, what he thought he was supposed to do. He really didn’t know any other way, and we really could have fared far worse, he’s on the shallow end of the spectrum of abusiveness. I have forgiven most of my traumatic moments in an effort to retrain myself to a better way. One by one I forgive, and work on rewiring my brain to reach for better choices in my equivalent moments; which I’ve addressed many times over as being an ongoing process with many failures on my part. It’s not too late for me, but it seems by situation and ongoing choices, it may be so for dad. I know he will see and understand when he rejoins our maker.

Anyway, tangent aside, there were good conversations and time shared as family. That was very welcomed. Also, the many jokes and good natured jabs at each other was good relief for the emotional system. Katherine stole the show a couple of times simply being an adorable toddler dancing to music and trying to figure out the guitar the bride’s nephew played. It was simply a good time all around.

However, I did get far too much alcohol, gluten, and dairy, and thus my system is ultra angry and working on serious detoxing. Today was a good start, being I consumed 1 Lara bar, spread over the whole day, and 1 bowl of very light veggie soup at dinner, with as many ounces of water as I could stomach throughout the day. The queasy angry liver was by far the biggest deterrent to consuming anything in any significant quantity. By this point most of the queasy feeling has subsided, so I’m hopeful I’ll be able to hydrate better tomorrow. I’m not worried about consuming calories yet, mainly because I ate in 3 days what I would normally spread over a week, and as I previously mentioned pretty much all my major allergens were consumed, which spiked my sugar horribly. I have probably an extra 200 calories just floating around in my blood stream 🤣.

Seriously though, laughing aside, I’ve decided weddings- though wonderfully joyous occasions- are not good for making healthy decisions. If anyone knows a solution there, I’m all ears- feel free to leave comments as such. That would be good to know even if there aren’t many weddings to anticipate in my family at the moment.

May you all have joyous celebrations which are easy on your system. May you all feel the love and find life partners to experience joy with. May you all have good times with family and experience a feeling of belonging. Finally, may you all have just what you need and enjoy yourself in ways gentle to your system.

Siva Hir Su

Addicted To Love

This evening with my children was good, great in fact. Once I figured out how to reel in my children’s scream reflex, it went much better.

I was able to sit with Ian and let him use the paint program on the computer. He did his auto-writing again, this time digitally. I understood that was happening, but not what the message was. I only noticed that I knew some of the characters that showed up in his scribbles. There was again hindi and telegu characters, and I am amazed that something I barely understand myself is showing up in his “writing”. Whomever he is connected to asked me very quietly, through his voice, what I was listening to. When I went to respond Ian came back fully and was very confused about what Kaleo was. I explained it was a band name and I didn’t name them, so I wasn’t sure why they were called that.

Later I put our Jason Mraz Pandora station on and danced with both Katherine and Ian. It was much needed connection time. I felt very blessed to be with my children, especially having figured out the magic mix of what they needed to ground and relax with mommy.

It has been a very feel-good mushy evening, and at this point both are working on bedtime rituals.

At one point I found myself thinking about my Indian person because an Ed Sheeran song played that I listened to when I was talking to them. I got an image of them being very angry, and directing it at me. I apologized profusely and started crying quietly. Yet, whomever I was connecting with said they really weren’t mad at me, they were mad at themselves for not being able to come forward and tell the truth. That made me even sadder. Nathan caught me with “the look” on my face, and buddy came running and gave me a head-butt. Nathan told me he always knew something was up when buddy did that, and asked me what was going on. I asked him why I love people so easily and why was he (Nathan) the only one willing to be as honest and affectionate as is humanly possible with me. Why was he the only one that could really show me the love I give so much.  I just don’t understand how 2 people so willing to build family and work toward common goals keep having train wrecks of one sided love. He replied with an I don’t know, but the story isn’t over and maybe they will at some point. He’s so damn optimistic, but sometimes at the least helpful times.

I had a moment where I thought about the divine and how the divine has saved my life with giving me the tools and information to fix my health on several occasions, especially in regards to my depression journey. I was expressing that sentiment to God, that I love God, as much as I love those people that don’t return the love to me. In reply I literally heard- Imagine that you are god and that response is nearly everyone on the planet. I love them all, but very few actually return that love to me.

That made me sad too.

It made me think. Perhaps we all have this love thing all effed up. Perhaps we’re all doing it wrong or have learned the wrong things as showing our love.

I know for me when I think about my love for the divine, I think about all those smaller moments that have accumulated in being able to say that god has saved my life. I think about how the divine literally moves through me when I am working on people in my office. I think about how I know that god force allowed into my body provides me very real healing moments. I think about all the warm fuzzy sensations in my body which I feel when the divine presence is in me. Simply thinking of these things makes me swell with gratitude and I literally feel more love. I naturally turn that love back to the source of it all, that divine presence. It is definitely a very addictive feeling place for me.

I openly admit that I occasionally get the divine flow confused with the mental connection I have with that person, because they both strengthened in my life during the same timeline, and at times can have a similar feeling. Because of that I do sometimes visualize the divine in the same way, to be able to provide a hug or kiss as a sign of my affection. Yet, I know that the feeling place is the most important aspect. That feeling place has no face, has no ability to truly hug or kiss.

It just is.

How does one show love to something that is all around you and within you?

How does one prove to God that your love is genuine?

For me, I tend to think of how I show my love to other people:

I try to notice things they have done. I try to show that I have noticed their effect on our shared environment or good interactions they have with others. I try to give love by giving gifts or giving of myself. I give affection, I support in any way I can. I try to notice the little things about them, their likes, their preferences, their interests. I do my best to be kind, supportive, loving, and forgiving.

What if that is really all God wants?

  • What if God just wants us to notice those people, places and things which the divine has influenced and/or created?
  • What if God wants us to think about the positive effects the divine has had on other people and things?
  • What if God just wants us to notice the positive interactions that people have with each other?
  • What if God wants us to give gifts to him by giving gifts to each other?
  • What if God wants us to give affection by giving affection to each other as often as possible?
  • What if God wants us to notice the little things that the divine accomplishes each and every day?
  • What if loving God really is as simple as being kind, supportive, loving, and forgiving as frequently as humanly possible, even when you are presented with ample excuses not to?

All of these things can be attempted continually, not just on Sundays or when begged by charitable organizations.

That makes me think of the client a week ago. She is one of the beautiful women I had noticed, and I happen to know we share an awful lot of the same challenges. I was simply thinking that she was such a beautiful person that I wished that she knew that, that she could see her beauty instead of all of the challenges. I know I wish that for myself quite frequently.

As I was thinking all of this, that voice I hear more and more often, quietly nagged me to be honest and tell her. I replied I can’t, I’m not supposed to. I was again told to say it, that she needed to hear it. So, I gave in, and in the gentlest way I said the following: “Please don’t take this the wrong way; I’m not sure if you’re having a tough spot, but I am being told you need to hear this. You are a beautiful woman and even though I know you share many challenges like I face, you are amazing and a wonderful person. You really are a beautiful person.” She had replied that she was having a rough spot and did really need to hear that. She thanked me and we both shed a couple of tears. After the massage she gave me a hug.

Something that technically inches toward encroaching on board ethics was exactly what the divine needed me to voice in that moment. I could have held to my excuse and avoided possible ramifications all-together. As it is, I took the gentlest route around it that I could, and she will never know that I briefly contemplated the physical attraction to her. I was able to look past the excuse in that moment and find the happy medium to help pass a message from the divine that she really needed to hear. Those are the moments that I cherish and look forward to. Those are the moments that I am extra grateful for, and honestly hope that God knows I am doing my best to oblige as frequently as possible.

I love knowing that I am helping God to heal and help people, I love feeling God’s presence, and I love being able to pass that feeling on to others. I love knowing that God loves me, even when I have had a life full of less than stellar moments. I am addicted to love, especially God’s love. One day perhaps that will manifest in the family I have so very much desired. Perhaps that one day will be after I die. Regardless, I will continue to do my best to give my love to the divine presence that saved my life and said I could call it Shiva.

Siva Hir Su

My Polyamory

I have intentionally not written much on this topic because about a year ago I went and posted a bunch of links and good info from other sites. There are so many aspects to look at and perspectives to consider that it is all just too much for me to even attempt.

However, Nathan suggested that I write at least once on my experiences and opinions on the matter. So, I’m taking his advice.

First and foremost Polyamory is many loves, a plural relationship based in a foundation of love.

From the view of a successful balanced poly family, I’ve not had much luck, at least in maintaining such a plural commitment. However, I have had lots of fine tuning and reevaluating, which Abraham says is always a good thing. I’m going to agree.

Nathan and I used to be, what gets labeled “Unicorn Hunters” by more forceful poly opinions. We were ‘significant-others’ seeking a single bisexual female to balance my bisexuality. After several failed attempts to find our good fit, we relaxed into accepting that our perfect woman might come attached to another person. It might also happen that we find several people to meet both mine and Nathan’s needs and desires.

Our hesitation with accepting the concept of multiples, initially was brought on mainly by fearful thoughts of: how do you get multiple adults on the same page and keep them in agreement and in cooperation. Especially regarding children in the family, rules of behavior, setting expectations, and even logistics of cleaning and cooking. However, at this point in our marriage we have come to the conclusion that those are challenges any relationship faces regardless if there are 2 or 12 people. We also now have lots of experience dealing with each other and multiple attempts at significant-other additions. We’ve also come to conclusions that some things are easier if approached like companies handle staffing: creating schedules and assignments of tasks, which can always be adjusted and changed as needed.

So at this point we’re much more open to alternate options and arrangements for our family structure, and have a better grasp of the interpersonal needs that entails. Our main goal now is that a variety of needs and desires are met, and that all adults act like adults and remain considerate of the family as a whole when making significant decisions. If those decisions are likely to impact the family in a huge way (move, replace belongings, or decisions regarding educational or medical concerns) then the family should be consulted with a proposal before final decisions are made.

Informed consent is a mainstay of poly whether it’s in regards to sex, reproduction, or any familial life event. Furthermore, informed consent requires a certain level of communication skills. You may have a great idea, but if you can’t make your case well to those involved it’s likely to fall flat.

So those elements have become our biggest priorities.

Beyond that, previous relationships ended due to factors involving but not limited to: personality clashes, instability due to processing previous traumas, and a lack of commitment by one or multiple parties. So we have simplified our request to the Divine that: future partners have their own stuff figured out at least well enough to cause only more minor bumps, previous severe traumas have been healed likewise, and that all parties be willing to commit enough to work through remaining glitches. All relationships have bumps, bruises, and fights, but it’s the severity and willingness to work through them that enable the relationship to last. Everyone coming together to learn and grow and heal, leads to happy long lasting family.

Acceptance of our humanness, and unconditional love allows for infinite growth. To me that means that I might get mad or frustrated with someone, but as long as I can refocus and remember we’re all human and that I do love them, then I can work through the upset to find a solution. That is the place of understanding that I aim for everyone in my family to hold.

There are also factors like honesty, openness, truthfulness, cooperative attitudes, and open mindedness which would be very important.

Finally, I wish to add compromise. A mainstay of finding solutions is learning how to compromise. There is almost always an answer that everyone can live with. It may not be perfect in everyone’s opinion, but gets the job done. Finding those compromises is paramount to maintaining family cohesion, and adults wishing to be in my family need to demonstrate an ability to compromise.

In conclusion, my ideal of Polyamory has evolved over the last 15 years to be less about the fine details and more about overarching qualities that I wish for people to exhibit.

Not to be too cliche, but can’t we all just get along, and all you need is love, would be the more concise mentality.

May you all find your family based in love and acceptance, but which committedly works through compromise to ensure everyone just gets along.

With love, be well. Siva Hir Su.

Welcome Zelda… errr… Nadi

I got a text today about half way through my morning at work. A kitten that had been gifted to a resident and now needed a home. Was I interested, they asked.

After weird dreams I had had last night, and my knee jerk reaction remembering how we got Buddy and Missy. I replied with send a picture. My thought being if it’s a full grown ‘kitten’ I’d say no.

Instead I get a picture of a barely old enough to leave momma kitten. I couldn’t say no. Plus, she was a calico like my old lady kitty Priss.

Her temporary name was Zelda. Though I have nothing against Zelda, Nathan and I both agreed it wasn’t really a cute kitten name. I suggested Sandy due to her patches of tan. That was so, so. We ran through a whole host of other names and then started translating options to other languages.

Finally we settled on Nadi which means River- I thought it fitting as an acknowledgement of how things have just been flowing to us lately. Honoring the Divine process.

I think she’ll fit right in, and super cute. Buddy isn’t sure what to think of her, Missy and Priss are a bit standoffish yet, the dog would slobber all over her if she’d even let him close enough, but my kids think she’s great.

I love my family.

I’ve been having an afternoon of appreciation. It started with my residents showering me with their appreciation of all that I do. I was bashfully grateful for their appreciation. Much of what they notice I feel is just doing my due diligence in my job. I’m glad they appreciate my efforts though, it feels very good to be thanked like that.

It ended with a walk in the park. Nathan wore Katherine while we walked in the woods. It was over 3 miles of Tomahawk Creek Trails (1.8 mi one way) with birds chirping, flowers in bloom, and the wonderful sound of water flowing.

This was the stretch of trail we walked. Well worth the time and I’d recommend it to anyone in the area.

Jingle Bells, tummy turns, and Happy New Year’s

So I’ve been super busy. Working 7 days a week still. It’s going well all things considered.

The man I was filling in for came back to work, but not at his best, which wasn’t great too begin with. So management decided to hang on to me full time in a, just in case, sort of way. I did the decorations (see last post) and then began working on odd jobs that mostly amounted to cleaning up other’s messes. Other than being an odd situation, I have done well and hung in, completing each assignment in a reasonable amount of time. I was careful not to move to quickly to land myself without work, but not too slow to undo the trust I’d built with management.

I cover weekend entertainment, which meant I had a good time with salvation army carolers and our cookie party 2 weeks ago. It was a blast- they had me direct jingle bells intentionally leaving them hanging mid-chord to encourage money tossing (see pic below), and afterwards I received a compliment from the manager I thought least likely to ever compliment anyone. It felt really good.

That was right at Yule and we celebrated Yule after work with a fire and Nathan’s (Girlfriend)… I use that term loosely because I’m not sure they have decided to commit that label yet. I enjoyed hulk-smashing a couple of logs for the fire and watching Ian and Anya get their fire element on. Then I burned all of the leftover incense that I bought the one shopping trip in September (I wrote about it too). It was necessary release, and after a few tears I felt better.

Then last week I caught a round of stomach flu and spent Sunday and much of Christmas Eve sick in bed. My dad had visited for the holiday to bring kids gifts which was much appreciated, but since I was down sick he decided to cut his stay short and left Christmas Eve afternoon. Katherine spent Christmas day sick and Nathan was sick the day after. I think because Ian and Anya had been sick the week before they were spared from this round. Regardless of having gotten sick I very much enjoyed the resulting 3 days off, and admitted that sometimes I think I get sick to make sure I have some downtime.

Our family had a good holiday and kids enjoyed their gift receiving. Grandad was very impressed with little Katherine, how aware she is, being very interactive, and how well she was able to stand, squat, crawl, and creep along furniture. He kept saying she’s going to take off really walking any day now, and we just kept agreeing.

This week I have just New Year’s Day off, and I’m going to milk it for all it’s worth, as it’s my only day off in January.

I’m very much looking forward to starting the new year with a day off and being healthy; besides it’s a Pig year and being born in a Pig year that means I’m supposed to have great fortune this year. I’ve decided that’s a good omen, a lucky year starting with an actual day off (I’ve not always had New Year’s Day off, so it counts).

May you all find this year lucky and have just the right amount of time off for yourselves.

Meew… is for comfy.

That’s Missy, she’s comfy, very comfy.

This week has brought a lot of things. Mostly neutral to okay, but I’m doing my best to ignore the few negatives and focus positively.

The best part of this week was having a couple of days that I could sleep in and spend with children. It was very nice, even if it meant I couldn’t move much. A king sized bed is useless if 4 littles keep you trapped in a one foot section of it! Priss, Buddy, and Missy are great at strategically stationing themselves where Katherine isn’t, to ensure I won’t be moving. See:

I was able to spend time with little Ian playing with trains and Lego’s, we went to the park and dog park and took walks.

Zen puppy has gotten good at keeping his herd of people from wandering too far apart. It’s very adorable.

We were privileged to see Big Ian in his performance as part of a Coterie Theatres teen camp production of “Spamalot”, which was very funny, and amazingly well done, especially considering it was a handful of teens with only 2 weeks of learning and rehersing.

It also turned into a pseudo date waking around the Plaza area since we were dressed up for the occasion.

And baby is doing great still too. 3 months old, perfect health, growing great, and learning fast. She’s now able to walk at a normal pace for a toddler, as long as she’s got hands to hold and either naked or disposable diaper. When she figures out balance, we’re screwed, in the best possible way! … I didn’t help matters, in that respect, by finding a baby walker at the thrift store. Now she can even practice without help. Oh my.

And yes she has; she took a few steps in the store, and today she worked on figuring out it goes other directions than just forward.

She’s also started laughing, though it’s more of a giggle so far, and kitties are now fascinating to her.

All in all its been a good week and I’m mostly enjoying life again. More mantras definitely helped, but mostly I think it’s my concerted efforts to focus on positives and find quiet mind periodically.

May all of you have comfy pleasant weeks.

New love grows, yet old love remains…

I’m not a poet, but sometimes standard prose doesn’t fit my feelings. This is one such occasion….

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you, go on

-Celine Dion

Poseidon’s trident pierced my heart, and somehow I-

humanly, perfectly, imperfectly-

emerged as Aphrodite’s visage.

Life moves on, and new phases emerge.

I know not why,

not how,

only that it is as it should be,

everything will indeed be alright.

Family grows,

and new love flows,

Wonderful, radiant, feminine.

Time flies,

and I merely try

to simply keep up.

Not only for new love found,

but the new life growing within.

Family’s needs are great,

and I’m just one.

One to do my best,

Strive and persevere,

help and support,

with all my love,

For all of those that I love.

Even those

that this

time and space

hold out of reach.

Time moves on.

Memories, dreams,

hopes, goals, and desires,

never forgotten.

The brain remembers all-

Where matters

of heart

be concerned,

Fills time

where

life

breathes.

The inner fires

still burn bright

Even when daylight dwindles

And time escapes.

Solace found

In inner voice

In knowing

In that special connection.

If I never find solution

In this

Time and space

I will hold tight

My connection from afar.

I cherish it-

Special,

Unique,

Warm,

Invisible embrace.

I wish that for everyone.

I do feel,

Do see,

Every night,

Desires and longing

Mine and not mine.

And support them.

All is as it should be.

Answers will come.

If we allow.

Regardless, there is love,

Always love.

‘Tis human to err

And our humanity is our greatest asset

Love your flaws,

They are uniquely you.

I am learning

Slowly

Just that.

Even my faults

Make me who I am

Ultimately creating a better self.

So I love me,

and you,

and all of my family.

Chosen and given.

Even those who choose

Silence

Or difference

Or separation.

Love is the only thing I have to give.

And give I will.

As much as possible,

And every moment

that my brain remembers

That my brain fills.

All day,

Everyday,

Until death do I part.

Love with all my heart.

Positive aspects.

Abraham Hicks suggests making lists of positive aspects to help focus on things you want. This is to help clear the mental clutter of unhelpful negative thoughts, fears, and worries. Today I’m feeling very tired, and when I get very tired I tend to slide negative. So in an effort to counter that, I’m going to list positive aspects of my husband and children, at least as I have a chance, here and there. If this takes all day, or even 2 or 3 days, then so be it. At least I know my tired brain will be contemplating good things. Beyond that it will help my body to come into alignment with my new super busy energy needs.

Husband:

  • Kind, caring, and likes to make others happy.
  • Beautiful eyes (really he’s beautiful to me in general)
  • Intelligent
  • Hard working
  • Diligent, does his best to pay attention to details.
  • Thorough, Does his best to make sure things are done well.
  • Very, very supportive.
  • Good father- patient, understanding, helpful, gentle.
  • He knows how to control his anger better than I do, and thus is able to temper disciplinary actions better than I do.
  • In many ways he’s a great teacher.
  • He’s able to let go and take things easily (especially compared to me).
  • He has figured out his own functional mess/ organization needs, and is mostly able to maintain the important elements.
  • He is mindful of others needs.
  • He puts others first (almost to a fault).
  • He finds happiness easily, and allows occasional distractions to help him see beautiful moments. (not so focused that he misses the good stuff).
  • He’s compassionate.
  • He loves and cares for animals.
  • He wants justice and equality for all.
  • He is open and accepting of all walks of life, even when he himself has beliefs that may be contrary to those he’s dealing with. He’s very understanding and can still have healthy conversations with those that do have different views.
  • He supports change, moving toward politically accepted equality, protections for everyone’s rights, and for bettering our country & planet through green energy and alternatives in power/utilities/ construction resources. He has often spoken out, assisted rallies, and donated to many just causes.
  • He has gentle loving  touch, and I really appreciate cuddling with him.
  • He does his best to help me relax and de-stress, and has gotten much better at giving massages over the years.
  • He is mindful of his actions most of the time, and does his best to balance necessary things against those that are desired, when managing his time.
  • He’s soft/cuddly, but strong.
  • He does his best at any given moment to manage his health.
  • He’s working on being mindful of his eating & sleeping habits, and thus is working on improving himself.

    Daughter:

    • Very smart.
    • Considerate of others.
    • Friendly, nice
    • Gentle (most of the time).
    • Interacts with her brother well most of the time.
    • Loves her family & friends.
    • She’s willing to learn, change, and grow. She understands the importance of self-improvement (Nathan says mainly because of me… I don’t know for sure).
    • She loves animals as well and that’s where I see her compassion the most.
    • Loving.
    • Beautiful. I know your kids are always beautiful in a parents eyes, but I’ve been told she is by others as well.
    • Strong.
    • She loves to run (which is more than I can say about myself).
    • Good with horses & cats.
    • She’s getting better at cleaning.
    • She’s learned lots of things on her own, and even more with help.
    • She does her best to help out.
    • She still enjoys playing.
    • She’s getting better at thinking critically- working on seeing the results of her actions.
    • She does her best when doing chores and gradually improves the outcome of her efforts.
    • She now sees the value in honoring shared spaces and doing her part to keep her things in her space.

    Ian:

    • Very, very smart.
    • Super healthy & takes vitamins willingly.
    • Very cute and adorable
    • For a 3 year old he’s already loving & compassionate (those qualities come and go depending on the day, but considering he’s only 3 that’s still great).
    • Very communicative and demonstrative. 
    • Expressive and full of words.
    • Uniquely himself… There are things he’s done since birth, let’s us see the inner him.
    • Connected to source in a big way, pure, positive connection… Regardless of how my  often-disconnected-self perceives him at any given moment.
    • Very strong.
    • Gentle with pets.
    • For being 3, he’s relatively cautious to be safe.
    • He’s also relatively respectful.
    • He’s mastered use of swear words, even when it’s appropriate to use them (totally my fault).
    • He likes being outside, running, and playing.
    • Knows when he’s messed up and his apologies are genuine.

      So for having taken 4 days to complete I feel like this is a short list. Yet, to be fair, I had very small time segments to work on it, and I re-read everything written  each time I went to add something, so that I wouldn’t duplicate myself. So, each time I got a chance I would only have time to add a couple/few items. It’s a good start. I may have time later for an update via computer, so cross your fingers for me.