I am here For me To be me To find my FIre To experience
I am here Where Earth Meets land Meets wind Meets sky
The sun Is my guide My light Lies within And shines All about Me
I am here On a beach The water Cold The wind Strong Sun shining Through Clouds And fog
Despite Everything It still Shines It shines For me
Because I am Here For me For my Birth Day
I am here to Celebrate Me
By doing something I desired Whether Anyone or Anything else Supported my Desire
I was willing To do it Alone With nothing And no one
I am grateful Because God helped a little Provided Basic luxuries Of bed Toilet and Shelter
Yet I am still Here I am standing Where I desired When I desired To do so
The shining sun is for me The strong wind is for me The cold waves are for me The crashing sound is for me
My light My fire Is me I am Here I am the creator I Am the observer I see me Here I experience me Here
Next time I'll make it Warmer Sunnier Funner It'll be nicer For kids
There will Be A next time For Me Whether God stays to help Or not Because My fire Is here In ME
~ Treasa Cailleach
May you BE you, here and now. May you feel your inner fire return full strength if you so chose. May you release everyone else from responsibility for your outcomes, and may you release your responsibility for theirs. May you understand that your experience via the 6 senses was all that was ever intended in this physical body. May you release understanding any of it for now. May you release everything and everyone else to be your best inner being in a physical experience. May you enjoy this transition and use it to your fullest. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.
Today I worked and received my much needed massage. It was good.
The person I have been trading with, a man named Robb, is a massage therapist I met when we first got to KC. Schedule changes on my side caused us to part ways for years, and I traded with another wonderful therapist for several years. After my first couple of years at the clinic attempting to find a replacement for the second now retired therapist, I decided to reach out and see if we could make schedules match again. I’m glad I did, because he was able to work on connections I was unable to get myself and provided more relief for my arm. It’s at about 98% now, and I have a couple of new ideas to try and get the rest.
He has about 3 more years of practice than I do, so I pick his brain often. We have very different styles, but what we do works and the trades work just fine. He does a ton with energy work and has the connections between tension patterns down so well he often reminds me of things I’m missing with clients. He also does a fair amount of isolated stretching and range of motion together to help release burried or hiding patterns. Something that is a weak spot of mine, I know them both individually, but never managed to get them down well enough to function as a pair in my practice. I have been using some of his techniques a little more lately, so maybe that will change. We have also talked about those elements we share, and I discovered he learned them directly from the source, whereas I learned them second hand. That likely explains differences in how we utilize techniques.
It’s also nice that he knows bicycling, because after my week of biking to work my legs needed love. He was more than capable and I feel so much better all over. My massage was good and very needed, I realized that I trust him as fully and completely as the now retired therapist. I think I love both him and the retired therapist, because they have both invested many hours into helping me take care of my body. I am very grateful for skilled and genuinely caring hands. So now I’m doing my best to keep my relaxation long term.
Later, as Nathan was cooking dinner, Katherine started singing while “playing” piano. After a minute or two it was clear she was singing our mutual favorite MC Yogi sing called “Give Love”. I loved it so much I caught a clip to share. I’ll post that and the original MC version.
Despite time shortage to play on my piano, it seems my daughter has made friends with it just like me.
May you have good massages, plenty of care for your self, and feel good mostly. May you have plenty of relaxation time and find ways to prolong the relief as long as possible. May you have happy moments with your children on very frequent occasions. May you see your children’s talents manifest easily. May you enjoy your days and have millions of reasons to give love away to everyone around you. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.
Still working on pulling up. Had some thoughts of the progress sort, and wanted to share them. I’m feeling like poems fit the bill.
The first poem is building on the meditation concept from yesterday, where the in breath was “I am greater than my body” and out breath was “I am greater than my mind”. Each line of the poem is intended as one breath in or out.
The second poem was a result of contemplating my stress induced unhelpful food choices of late, and how to correct.
In between is a very applicable song, and one that helps me a lot.
The title picture for the post is me wearing a 2X shirt. It was a free marketing ‘gift’. I used to completely fill shirts that size once upon a time. Now I feel like I’m wearing a tent. It was a moment of appreciation of my progress and a helpful distraction.
Breathe:Know (A meditation in poetry)
In: I am Out: me
I Am Here I am Present I am Connected.
I am Energy I am Light The Fire That fuels My Being, Inspires Life.
I am Matter I am Atoms And Nuclei, That which Grounds My body In Now.
I am Water Flowing Through Veins Carrying Oxygen And nutrients, Flowing In and out Cells' walls.
I am Air, Breath Filling Lungs, Inspiration In action, Stirring Processes To solutions.
I am Whole I am Me I am Greater Than what Is seen I am Divine In flesh.
I am Where Above Meets Below, Sky Meets Land, Spirit Meets Flesh, In between, The cusp of The veil, The brim of The vortex.
I am Beautiful I am Love, Venus' Soul As Woman, Creative Power Is mine.
I am Strong I am Capable I do More I reach For Greater.
I am Better I am Well, I heal Inside And out, Top to Bottom, Front to Back, Left, Right, And everything In between.
I am Me Growing Doing Being Improving Healing Moving All I am
~ Treasa Cailleach
See the Suga'
Chocolates, peanut butter cups Rice, pastas, breads Peaches, apples, berries galore All sweetness Craved By taste buds.
A symptom of Imbalance. Cravings, A desire to Restore balance. Cravings stir Addictions When efforts Become futile Cycles.
The imbalance Too much bitter Outside self. The body knows There must be sweetness Somewhere. The craving starts. A void of sweetness No food can fill. If one uses food Addiction is certain Endless cycles Of unfulfilled Cravings
Real solutions Are to see the Sweetness Everywhere Possible
If bitterness Fills experience Then sweetness Must rise to Balance Bitter experience If sweet fills diet Then bitter Must rise to Balance Sweet diet
Yin Balances Yang Or eventually Excess Manifests Deficiency Natural cycles Will always Work towards Correcting Restoring Balance
See the Suga' Taste the bitter Right wrongs Fill voids Properly Restore Balance Of Self
~ Treasa Cailleach
One last tidbit: Be kind to yourself. Knowing concepts, and being able to navigate their use in times of crisis, are two very different and separate things. Often we know what to do, but have difficulty accomplishing those things when life erupts. Forgive yourself for your lapses and allow others to help when you fail. Hopefully we all have someone willing to help when we fail. We all need someone sometimes.
May you see your improvement. May you find your inner self easily. May you have enough energy, time, and resources for anything you need or desire to do. May you feel better easily and maintain it mostly. May you find your balance and honor and respect yourself. May you find all the ways to see the sweetness and give yourself some much needed love. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.
I was already thinking about my childhood when I saw the quote. Initially, contemplation was stirred by several people having asked me if I liked what I do.
I have answered honestly every time that question has ever been asked, and surprisingly my answer is not much different that the first time I was asked years ago.
In general I love what I do. I help people, I enable people to feel better and I often guide them towards finding healing (or with elderly- release, which is its own kind of healing). There have been points in my history where finances were very tight or other elements were stressful, but mostly my career is low stress and adequate financially. I will likely never become a millionaire on massage alone, but I have changed lives and helped others find less stress and more peace. I help people every day that I get up and go do what I do best.
And that is the key: WHAT I do BEST.
My best is not always hands rubbing and poking muscles. My best is not always words that come out of my mouth. My best changes from moment to moment. Sometimes it is energy work, sometimes it is the massage, sometimes it is saying just the right words at just the right moment, and sometimes it is what I do when I’m not earning my keep.
And I don’t always manage my best, but I always know why.
My mom was key in better understanding of the phrase “Always do your best”. She was the one that repeated it frequently, but she also had a deeper understanding of it.
She would tell us stories of how she was punished by teachers when she couldn’t read the blackboard after having had Scarlett fever, and finally one teacher figured out she simply couldn’t see. She would tell us stories of being moved around over and over again because she was a military kid, and all of the trouble it caused for her, but how she would get through. There were dozens of stories I heard as a kid where she was conveying that she was doing her best to survive and get through even when no one else noticed or cared, but eventually it mattered and got better.
She was key in my understanding that “Always do your best” only really matters to you. It only matters to the person doing their best. You are the only one that can determine if you are doing your best in any given moment or any given situation.
I then thought of when I was a kid participating in district solo and ensemble competitions. I was that kid that aimed for the 1’s not because I got ribbons and medals. No I aimed at the 1’s because I wanted to do my best regardless of anyone else. I would sit in a corner practicing quietly and let everyone ignore me, and later I would beat up on myself for mistakes because I knew I could do better. It wasn’t until years later that I understood I had already done my best because stage fright was real for me. Simply having managed receiving 1’s multiple times over, when battling stage fright intensely, was a feat in and of itself. Simply conquering my dyslexia on my own was a feat of my fortitude.
I was the kid that was bullied, molested, picked on or ignored mostly. But I still did my best getting good grades, setting curves, winning music and art competitions, and volunteering whenever I was able.
And to this day I am satisfied with my self-sufficient kick-ass way of always doing my best.
None of my accomplishments mean anything to the world, but they are no less amazing and spectacular. None of my accomplishments mean much to my birth family, but they are no less amazing and spectacular.
I am standing on my own and with great knowing that I can and will continue to do so, no matter what.
I am in a marriage that was completely unsupported by anyone. I have kids that were unaccepted because they are mixed race. I have largely done it all on my own and I still give my love to others daily.
I do not need anyone to support me or make things better, because I know that I always do my best, no matter what. I also know that those that shy away from me because of my baggage, are entirely missing the point.
I am a beautiful goddess and strong in my power. I am not perfect, I am a human goddess. I make mistakes, and I understand how to do better the next time. I constantly strive to do better because I know my best can keep improving. My best matters to me because it got me through when there was no one and no way to do it otherwise. My best is the result of all I’ve seen, done, and learned along the way.
And I forgive myself for the moments that weren’t my best. Humans make mistakes. It’s what you do with your mistakes that matters.
So yes, I love my career because it bring great satisfaction with minimal stress and it allows me to do my best every day I live.
To quote Abraham: “Money isn’t the root of all evil, but it isn’t the cause or solution of everything either”. For me I’d love to have more money, but I’m satisfied with the results of doing my best, even if more money never comes. My best is what has always mattered to me the most, and it’s not always measurable in dollars.
May you know that you do your best always. May you know what your best looks like and find forgiveness for the moments that aren’t. May you always understand why you didn’t accomplish your best and know how to improve next time. May you see the good in all parts of your life and have greater understanding for yourself and others. May you find that your best guides you to joyful work and a joyful life. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.