Tag Archives: feel

I deserve to feel good.

After having found the alignment through the climb my last several posts reflected, I knew I needed to milk it. The feeling place of those high vibration moments needed to do me some major good. It was time to focus on the feelings I want more of in my body and in my world.

Thinking about the joy and freedom felt in camp was a good start, but I want more.

I deserve to feel good and see results that others will also see. I deserve for my entire body to come into alignment, even blood sugars and thyroid function, all the things that doctors document. So far some of that has improved significantly and some of that seems worse. I use seems, because sometimes seeming worse is actually on your way to improvement (detoxing is a really good example of that).

I spent a long time focusing on feeling good in my body. I did my usual moving meditation to snap, crackle, and pop my joints back into alignment. I did some more moving meditation, almost like yoga, to stretch out some of my tight muscle spots. Then I was down to just a few of my extra stubborn areas. One is my right rhomboid. I have had times where other massage therapists spent 20 minutes just on that one muscle and it’s trigger points. Well on this occasion I simple rested my hand (more my finger-tips for ease in reach) on the trigger point and used several visuals to help relax it. My touch was the focus mechanism to ‘put the power there’ (that’s a rough translation of one of the Reiki symbols I use). Then once I engaged the energy in that spot I moved through more intense Reiki symbols. I visualized being She-Ra in her moments of healing (I’m going to write more on that soon). I visualized the muscle being like a pat of butter on a hot skillet. Eventually all of it put together, the muscle did give in and relax. It took a long while, it really wanted to hold on. I really had to convince it that it was off duty and didn’t have to do anything.

Then I moved on from structural elements. I felt for and visualized energy of love in and around my body. I let it start from my heart with loving myself. I thought of all the pieces of myself that I genuinely appreciate. Once I had the feeling of the vibration of self-love, I pushed it around my body mentally. Sometimes I would have to stop and focus on something about an area that could be loved. For instance, my thighs still carry much more adipose that I prefer, so I had to focus on their strength, the fact they can lift 210 pounds in addition to my body weight, the fact that they propel me everyday and everywhere I go. That enabled the love vibration to flow in those areas.

When all was said and done, I felt genuinely spectacular. The only drawback was it took what seemed forever. It was the better part of my Sunday afternoon, and though I didn’t watch the clock, I know it took a couple of hours or more.

My goal is to get to a level of health and focused thought that my process described here is more like a normal meditation. It will probably take much practice over a long while. It seems that most of my basic goals like this take about 9 to 10 months to fruition… Hmmm… I’m seeing a correlation with pregnancy. Anyway, I have noted that I do create positive changes, but it definitely takes a while, and progress still frustrates me on occasion when it’s technically there, but less than desired.

May you have good healing meditative moments. May you genuinely feel self-love. May you convey to your body that you do care for it in all the ways you know of. May your body generally cooperate with you and show you good positive results more quickly and in bigger more noticeable ways. May you know that beyond everything God loves and supports you in all that you do and are.

Om Shanti

Multifidus 2

More tangents of my world, support and aligned functionality.

First, I’m utterly grateful to have been able to help my friend with a systemic MRSA infection. Her last update explained it would be quite a while until she could function normally again, having affected her ability to stand, walk or use her dominant arm, and included a plea for help. I was able to obtain a wheelchair for her for $60 and dropped it off at the hospital between my clinic and retirement community shifts. She now has both a walker and a wheelchair, but she is going to need financial support. As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, she’s in for 6 weeks hospital stay, with rehab afterwards. She was evicted from her apartment due to a combination of Covid closures affecting her income and then being hospitalized on top of it. Friends packed her belongings and stored them, took her pet to care for it, and we’re all pooling resources to the best of our ability, but if you can help it is very much welcomed. Please see the screenshot below for more info.

As for me, I have had an interesting week. Post strep throat I have not been eating during the day at all. Not out of avoidance, simply because I don’t feel the need to. I have a strong sense that like Covid helped the Earth find some healing by keeping us home, my body is finding additional healing by eliminating the desire to eat and thus keeping my digestive tract mostly clear for now. Today it has amplified to a wonderfully intense level. I feel spectacular and my body is really high energy, almost like having one cup of coffee too many, but as I said I’ve not had anything. I’ve literally only had water, a breakfast shake and my supplements today. I feel great and I simply know that I have everything I need in my body already, so much so that it is almost a mantra for me today. I find that I’m am experiencing immense gratitude for feeling a strong sense of healing and well being. I am feeling stronger and healthier everyday, and I had one of my license plate messages that I read as validation of my wellness…W3L UET.

Speaking of my ET, I had one of my dream visits early this morning. It was wonderful and may definitely have contributed to my high energy today. It was a very loving passionate dream, and I am glad that I am having those again. It renews my hope for my future poly family. I love being loved on and those dreams leave me feeling warm and fuzzy for hours. There is also a fair amount of excitement that is left behind in its wake.

I am also feeling appreciation for my self in terms of knowledge and experience. What was triggered by the PA and picked at by a couple of other interactions, leaves me wishing to write a PSA. Here’s the deal, just because you paid for a college degree that left you with a PhD in a specific area of study does not mean you are smarter than others. I have a Bachelor’s degree, plus a year of massage education. If it had been one topic at one school I would be holding a Master’s degree. Beyond that I have hands on experience in both: 2 years in graphic design and 12 years as a massage therapist, 8 of which were self-employed contracting work. I have experience in my own business and others. Beyond that I have been schooled in the hard-knocks of life. I understand diabetes, heart disease, and thyroid function, and pregnancy through levels of direct experience and conversing with multiple medical professionals, some of which are/were definitely more open than others. I have both book knowledge and real life practical application knowledge in multiple areas and multiple sub-topics. I find it quite insulting when someone with “more important letters” behind their name acts like I’m some dummy that doesn’t know what I’m talking about. If I have experience on something I give it, if not I am open to respectful input and do consider others as my equal. But because of such experience I can also tell when someone is doing their best to take the easy way out or avoid dealing with me, and that is simply not acceptable to me, not should it be for anyone. We all need to acknowledge that we all are human beings with a wide array of knowledge and experience and respect each other’s input and do our level best to contribute to each other’s lives in positive ways, whatever that translates into at the moment of interaction. If we did that, the world would be a better place and fewer and fewer of us would be finding frustration in seeking solutions.

I also have taken all of these moments and used them as fodder for focused meditation. My Atira, my vortex, it is becoming clearer and clearer. I can see where my sloppy focus previously allowed for misaligned moments and the failures in my manifestations. At one point I was thinking about my 3 people in my permanent energetic-heart-circle awareness, and slipped into old negative thoughts about them. This time though I caught myself nearly immediately. I literally thought ‘wait a minute, those don’t feel good, that means they aren’t right’. That simple acknowledgement was enough to flip to the opposite thoughts that do feel good. I did a happy dance just for catching myself and a second happy dance for finding what does feel good. I look forward to much better manifestations as a result.

I then applied that moment of positive momentum to the rest of my topics, and that might be why I feel so darn good today. Between giving my digestion a break, acknowledgement of myself and my skills/knowledge- that we’re all equals, and positive thoughts and massive realignment all put together just feels like an amazing combination. I feel “right as rain” and have a strong knowing at the moment that there is no spoon. My only falter is that my spoon takes longer to bend, but that’s an okay thing.

May you feel your way to better days. May you honor other’s skills and knowledge knowing that you also have applicable skills and knowledge. May you find many things to feel grateful for and appreciate. May you see there is no spoon and that shifts in awareness and healing will manifest your desires quick enough. May you be health and have all of the help and resources that you need. May you have moments of appreciation that you are able to help others because you can and you want to. May you have excitingly pleasant dreams and be healthy in mind body and spirit. May you know you are having breakthroughs that will lead to wonderful changes in your physical awareness. May everything be “right as rain” and may you know God loves and supports you.

Siva Hir Su

“The Power of Paradigms” on YouTube

I wanted to share this video because it speaks to many of the elements I am working on and towards. She uses different verbage, but it overlaps with much of Abraham Hicks and other’s messages. Have an open mind and see/understand the broader meaning.

Like all of life’s journey, on many subjects my paradigm still needs much shifting for me to feel better and more in alignment with my higher vibrational self. Having my dad around has made that massively evident. However, this video helped me to see the moments and paradigms that I have made huge progress in. We are all layers upon layers. Honor your progress and acknowledge where you still need work to align with higher frequencies. We will all get there eventually, one way or another. One belief, one layer, one paradigm at a time, or death will take care of all of it all at once. I personally aim for the former, knowing the latter may come whether I want it or not.

May you see your pardigms for what they are. May you find neutrality as often as possible. May you gradually shift to higher frequencies and find joy in the process. May you feel your way to your own personal higher frequencies and thus feel really really good. May you know that God loves and supports you regardless.

Siva Hir Su

  • I get to choose.
  • I choose compassion, love and joy.
  • I choose to feel good.
  • I choose those things in alignment with my inner knowing.
  • I know good things are coming.
  • I know my vibration, my alignment, and thus my life are improving.
  • I look forward to seeing the results of my higher vibrational alignment and the healing process.
  • I wish that for everyone.

Siva Hir Su