Tag Archives: feeling better

List of positive aspects.

Abraham has been reminding me to get off of those things that bother me and focus on what I do want and enjoy.

Yet it seems that I may have been reeled back in. When I was considering resignation I’d had a conversation with my manager about how the residents were dieing from inactivity and the virus didn’t matter. They were not being saved from anything, and I did not desire to participate in the fallacy anymore. After I submitted my resignation they countered with adjustments that the building was making to help avoid the decline and asked if I would stay. I countered again with a statement that I could not in good conscience keep reprimanding adults like clueless children, that they are able to make decisions regarding risk and I respect and honor that. We will see if they still want me knowing I will not separate residents that are not doing exactly as dictated by external rules.

For now I will focus on positive aspects of all the things I love and appreciate:

  • I enjoy helping a community that feels like extended family.
  • I am very appreciative that my opinions, observations, and ethics are respected and honored.
  • I enjoy seeing the residents happy and feeling good.
  • I enjoy knowing that the residents are generally enjoying life and their retirement.
  • I enjoy knowing that they are finally finding ways to allow others to be of assistance and allowing God to meet their needs.
  • I enjoy quality conversations with the residents, especially when there is genuine concern and/or connection.
  • I love knowing that the residents do still want to really LIVE and have and make choices. They want free will and a reason to keep co-creating.
  • I really appreciate that most of the residents want to stay healthy and they are beginning to understand that is more than just avoiding disease.
  • I understand that like me they sometimes have mixed desires that seem to cause conflict, but I know it is possible for us all to allow God to find the solution for our “both” moments.
  • I love seeing their smiles and really appreciate that they come out in larger numbers to see me when I’m there.
  • I love the residents and I am very glad that they love me too.
  • I know they want to find the balance where they still enjoy the end of their life with a better knowing they are safe. I know they would rather be joyful than afraid.
  • I know we all know how to reach for better and that they want to. They will find a way to soothe themselves and return to enjoying life. They will find their quality of life again.
  • I appreciate they are wanting to find a way back to joy and enjoyment.
    • “H” will bake for others again.
    • Happy hours will return soon.
    • Bingo and church will find a way to resume safely.
    • “P” will garden and kibitz like always.
    • “B” will stir discussions as usual.
    • “J” will lead Bible study and help everyone soothe their frayed nerves.
    • “M” will light up the lobby with her smiles and chat with everyone that is willing.
  • I love knowing I am wanted and respected.
  • New residents will finally be able to meet their neighbors and make friends.
  • I extremely appreciate that we all now have a new understanding and appreciation for the freedoms we had 3 months ago.
  • I love that people are coming together to protect our freedoms.
  • I love that there are many voices of reason that are finally being acknowledged.
  • I love that people are now grasping a better understanding of what really helps maintain health and knowing that we need reasons to live to stay healthy, virus or not.
  • I am grateful that even within my residents there were those that were not afraid and wanted to stay as active as possible.
    • “N” went for drives every day.
    • Some kept appointments even though it meant staying in their rooms otherwise.
    • “G” went for walks and drives depending on the day.
    • “S” went for runs, and an 86 year old running is to be congratulated every day!!!
    • Many enjoyed patio time, even when the building was instructed to remove patio furniture.
    • Several elected to stay with family during this time.
  • I am grateful that those with more overall health concerns had family or paid caregivers to look after them and help them maintain their buoyancy and keep them from declining too fast. There was someone for them that cared about their overall well being and made sure the whole picture was accounted for. I wished everyone had had that.
  • I am grateful that everyone was safe, staff did become extra cautious with sanitization efforts, and those that needed healthcare did have access to what was needed.
  • I am grateful that the only lives lost were those that were already headed to their final days.
  • I am grateful that there will be more efforts at reversing or slowing the decline of those that suffered from the inactivity.

Also, positive aspect of other points in my life:

  • I enjoy working with those focused on living and enjoying life.
  • I enjoy knowing that there are many people focused on true health and that my efforts are on the right track.
  • I like sharing information on things that promote genuine health.
  • I like finding common ground with those around me.
  • I am super appreciative that there are enough people focused on better that the world is beginning to turn around, especially enough that we may have avoided a collective co-creation of something worse.
  • I am grateful that acute traumas and diseases are treatable and that even when dis-ease causes a problem there are medical tools to help people regain health.
  • I look forward to a day when medicine finds better solutions for non-acute disease in the same way.
  • I am grateful that I made it through all of this mess with minimal inconveniences.
  • I realized today, after being reminded my contract check was available, that I have managed to find a stable vibration of feeling fairly financially secure. I’m no longer so worried about finances that I find myself impatient for payday. I look forward to even more financial improvement.
  • I’m grateful that this disease was not as bad as projected. It was a very powerful learning tool for the future. Perhaps we will learn how to sustainably control disease easier so that future new diseases are no more bothersome than our yearly flu season. I hope we also learn from this and figure out testing and preemeptive actions much more quickly, to act before half the population already had it and got well.
  • I enjoy taking about cool new things that are being discovered and developed, conversations about leading edge thought and adventures.
  • I enjoy seeing my kids having fun and smiling.
  • I love spending time loving on my family, even/especially my furry four legged ones.
  • I have greatly enjoyed working on my wiggly becoming beautiful garden.
  • I love sunshine and sunny weather.
  • I love feeling safe and secure.
  • I love feeling supported.
  • I love being appreciated.
  • I love me and acknowledge more and more often decisions are made because I love myself enough to honor myself and I deserve the easier less painful route.
  • I am grateful that I love myself enough to take care of myself and improve my body because I know it is God’s temple.
  • I love feeling better and better.
  • I love feeling ease and feeling healthy.
  • I am grateful I have the intelligence, strength, perseverance, and divine connection to inspired thought to fix my own health.
  • I love knowing that I have a unique perspective that is grounded. As one of my favorite residents put it: “you are a sensitive soul, but grounded enough to see how things fit, we’ll miss you if you leave”.
  • I love that I love, even when it didn’t work out the way I wanted.
  • I love music, singing, playing piano, even just listening to it.
  • I love art, it lets me easily create beauty to add to this wonderful world.
  • I love mother nature, without our planet we would all die. I enjoy camping and hiking, and just even sitting listening to birds chirp ans thé wind blow.
  • I love flowers and all the pretty things that this world produces. I look forward to my garden blooming and wish I had enough money and space for some of every flower. That would be so beautiful.
  • Even though the squirrels and rabbits keep eating my plants I still think they are cute and I’m glad they exist. I like watching them when they aren’t eating my garden.
  • I love sitting on my porch swing watching kids and birds and pets play and frolic in beautiful weather.
  • I love experiencing all the wonderful parts of our world and look forward to many more wonderful adventures in my life.
  • I love knowing I am having a positive impact on the world and that my thoughts, words and deeds have a ripple effect that helps people I don’t even know.
  • I appreciate that my human-ness is perfectly wonderful to God, flaws and all.
  • I am glad that my good moments now outweigh my past no so good moments.
  • I am grateful that I am able to honor myself more and more, that I see more strengths than weaknesses, that I am seeing improvement in many ways, that I am becoming a better person.

May you have rampages of appreciation. May you see your own value enough to honor yourself. May you find enjoyment in life, more often than not. May you love yourself and the universe. May you love mother nature and find ways to appreciate and support our connection with the Earth. May you find your moments of joy and your love of others. May you see all the positives and ignore all of the negatives. May you feel and foster your connection to the divine. “May the force be with you.”

Siva Hir Su

I’ll leave you with some pictures of my beautiful gardens and family.

On the surface I screwed up.

Side note: The hip/low back is not solved yet. Still in progress, but better. I will revisit it after my short shift this afternoon. For now I sit on ice.

The second topic for today is a mistake, which wasn’t a complete mistake.

On the surface I scared an older clinic client on accident. She came in nervous about the virus, and hesitant because she didn’t know me and usually saw one of the other therapists. I tried to soothe her nerves and it backfired. She got more agitated and decided to not do the massage.

So my mistake was in words intended to soothe but which failed to do so. But it caused the clinic to loose a paid appointment and the chiropractor to have an uncomfortable phone call the following day. For that I’m truly sorry, and have apologized profusely for it. I own it completely and would have done the call if it hadn’t been for the caller’s specific request.

Where it is not so much a mistake and important for me to acknowledge, is that I got what I wanted. I law of attractioned myself some fine tuning.

I realized later that all of my clients that I really enjoy working with are nearly the opposite. They are mostly healthy and always aiming for improvement, and none of them are afraid of much, let alone viral news. They are all confident in their being a part of a functioning society and life in general. I really appreciate that immensely.

Because I am so appreciative of those clients, I have attracted fewer and fewer of the opposite like the one I scared. I currently don’t have any of my nursing homes, my house calls are down to 3, and one of them spaced way further out than normal. And clinic clients that are scared generally aren’t scheduling with me to begin with, and really never did at all.

Yet at the same time I have had a gaggle of new clients that have all become regulars or at least repeat clients. A couple have admitted financial limitations, but promised they will reschedule as they are able.

So I had an uncomfortable moment with a perceived loss that ultimately helped me to acknowledge that I have stayed busy enough without any scardy cats scheduling. That feels good and like relief.

Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate anyone that has bought into the fear. In fact I feel rather sorry for them and wish I could help. But this failed appointment also reminded me that sometimes you can’t fix something for someone else even if you want to. We were so far apart in vibrational alignment that she simply could not hear me and find ease. She could not reach for a soothing place. Additionally, it would have taken me down and been very difficult on me to drop to her level. That is something I am beginning to see simply isn’t worth it. I like improvement enough that I would rather keep reaching for better, than drag myself down trying to help others find their version of better.

Lately, I even dislike conversations where people want me to commiserate with them. I find I either end up going silent, doing the “uh hmm’s”, or politely arguing with them. The latter being my least preferred response because I don’t benefit from upset clients. Sometimes though I know something so strongly to my core that I simply can’t tolerate someone trying to convince me otherwise, on the table or not. I just try to stay polite and keep it short and move on to other topics.

So all in all, my fine tuning means:

  • I’d prefer scared people to just not schedule with me at all. Same goes for people that want to commiserate or argue.
  • If they must schedule with me, then keeping their fears or arguments to themselves is important.
  • I’m perfectly okay with quiet and/or silent sessions.
  • I much prefer confident healthy people on my table.
  • I enjoy friendly people that have good conversations (I’ve had several lately over fitness, meditation, nutrition, and alternative healing choices, I like that a lot.)
  • I enjoy finding common ground with those on my table.
  • I like the relief of knowing I can help someone because we’re closer in vibrational alignment.
  • I like repeat clients a lot.
  • I like having a full schedule.
  • I really like people with stable enough finances that they tip well, and I repeat my many thank you’s for those I’ve already received.
  • I enjoy a good challenge in my work, just not so much of a challenge that it depletes me for other sessions.
  • I enjoy knowing that I am able to solve many muscular based concerns and that I know when clients need to seek additional help. I am also very grateful I have qualified chiropractors & acupuncturists to refer to in office, and other types of providers outside of the office. That is especially helpful when my skills are not enough to solve client concerns.
  • I am grateful that I have a steady flow of clients and income.
  • I am grateful for the relief I have felt this last year and look forward to more of that.
  • I am glad that I keep getting stronger and healthier to keep doing the work that I enjoy.
  • I also enjoy having the graphic design work on the side to help have more income without exhausting myself.
  • I have immensely enjoyed having time with my kids and husband and pets, and time in my garden is good too.
  • I am grateful for the knowing that I am mostly in the flow of that which is wanted and that the universe is supporting me.
  • I look forward to even more improvement.

May you all have your fine tuning moments of acknowledgement. May you see where you goofed and know how to attract corrections. May you appreciate your world and your place in it. May you continue to help move society forward. May you feel mostly good and have just the right clients continue to flow into your experience. May you have the help you need and the things you seek. May you have more fun in the process. May your skills be evident and acknowledged by others. May you feel loved and appreciated.

Siva Hir Su

Photo is not me, obviously if you’re a regular reader, but it was the closest stock image to a real massage. I dislike the images where clients are not on the table right, or it’s obviously a posed scene, it perpetuates rediculous sterotypes and misconceptions. Just FYI.

Almost back to ‘normal’

I’m a little stiff right now, but otherwise feeling better. And the stiff is no surprise because I walked 8994 steps today at work, inside one building, and no treadmill was involved. Just lots of back and forth, over and over again.

My one house call client asked if I was up to returning to giving her massages. I asked her to let me answer in the morning so I can see how stiff pans out overnight. I just know that I have to kneel and bend over a lot to give her a massage. My knee is still bruised, but I can kneel on a foam pad or small pillow and be fine there, but I definitely want my back to be normal before doing any significant bending.

Anyway, I am glad I am generally feeling better and I’m also very glad things are inching towards normal. I’m still certain Kansas City was an area hit long before our government did anything, so I’m betting the numbers of illnesses will be much lower than projected. I’m just happy to see more things open and more people participating in society again.

I’m also glad that my efforts at Thyroid healing are working. I’ve lost a little weight, generally feeling better- energy and emotions wise, inflammation is starting to subside, and even the pressure on my throat and voicebox has backed off. Those are all really good signs. I am hopeful that if I stick to protocols religiously I will have good results at next round of testing and sonogram.

I attempted to start writing my courses today, but didn’t get far. I sat down on my lunch break, and it was cut short by pseudo emergencies with residents. So essentially I started the Word doc and then looked up the formal structure I needed to fulfill. My handwritten notes did not actually get turned into any typed text. It’s a start, some notes and the details on what needs written is still aimed in the right direction.

I did hit a moment of overwhelmed at the end of a crazy day of work and looked at Nathan when he’d arrived to pick me up. I asked seriously if I was insane. He replied “only in the membrane” jokingly referencing the song. When I scowled at him, he said “No, you’re very intelligent with good information to share with the world. It’s a big task but you’re up to it.” I appreciated his real answer much more than the joking one.

All in all, today was a very busy, but very good day, and regardless of my momentary overwhelmed, I got this shit and will kick some intellectual arse.

May you have good busy days. May you find your knowing of being on the right track. May you know what to do and when. May you know you’ve got this, no matter what this is. May you appreciate your own abilities and feel better and better. May you be loved.

Siva Hir Su