I have stopped.
Stopped to just be.
Just be me.
Just heal me.
I release everything
Letting go of all outside my self.
I draw my energy back
From all those I've worked with,
From all my family,
From all my friends,
From all my worries,
From all my concerns,
From all my thoughts,
From all people, places and things.
I draw my energy back
From all time.
I pull that energy back
Here and now,
To heal me,
To love me.
And it feels good.
I need my own self
More than ever.
I deserve my own self
Because it is healing.
My self brings
Light and love
Where darkness was.
That is invaluable.
My infinite self
Can do the infinite.
My infinite self
Can do the improbable.
My infinite self
Can do the unlikely.
My infinite self
Can handle more than i.
My infinite self
Makes the finite better.
My infinite self
Knows the finite will pass.
I can do this.
I am healing.
I am improving.
I am managing.
I am handling more than most.
I am thriving in adversity.
I am doing better.
Better than before.
Better than those I learned from.
Better than those I continue to help.
I respect myself.
I respect my accomplishments.
I love myself
Because I am more than all of it.
I am here now.
I am healing.
I am me,
In this moment,
In this time.
I am a warm
Fuzzy bubble of love.
I am beautiful
Inside and out.
I feel good to be me.
I feel better as my Self.
I heal all mechanisms
To be able to maintain
Every moment and
I deserve that.
I deserve me.
I deserve the best me
~ Treasa Cailleach
I stopped myself- twice.
I read an extremely biased news article that got me all riled up and angry and frustrated. It seems news no longer understands unbiased reporting because every news agency does it to one degree or another. Yet, I know deep in my being that either side is just a manifestation of our societal constructs which creates endless reasons to fight with each other. It is a toxic endless battle on whatever topic you choose and it is counter productive to my own personal goals for growth. So when the article caused me to speak my own truth, but out of that frustration and anger, I watched expressions change on faces of coworkers and stopped myself from continuing on knowing my words did not set well with them. I started to write it out and thought better of that as well.
Believe what you want to believe. Argue for what you want to argue for OR against. You’ll continue to get both regardless.
I choose neither. Somewhere there is a middle ground of freedom.
I choose that middle road. The middle path which is less clear and frequently uncharted.
I acknowledge that not all of my beliefs serve me very well and I choose to improve on them. I also acknowledge that my experiences and learning/knowledge have formed many of my beliefs and running practices. Again, some of those serve me well and some don’t.
My recent awareness is one such moment. I sometimes wish I had the naive view that vaccines are the perfectly safe and perfect miracle that all of Western medicine would like us all to believe. Unfortunately my knowledge, daily awareness and intuition tell me otherwise. However, regardless of my knowing none of that helps me reach for healthy. In fact it gets me riled up and angry, which is a source of stress and not helpful in my own personal search for healing.
So I sit and acknowledge that my middle path must acknowledge several things.
- No government, even going back to the beginning of civilized humanity, has truly and completely solved anything for everyone. But all governments help in some ways.
- No medical institution has ever truly and completely solved disease and doctors are not God. Yet there are some helpful elements of medicine, and we can all reach for more of those and less of the risky unreliable rushed ones.
- Fighting for or against anything only begets more of the reason to fight. So reaching for the middle is always the best answer- see the positives and logical basis of both sides to reach for solutions.
- Everyone chooses a belief based upon something. Finding the common ground is where solutions lie.
- True solutions only come when people agree to work together and compromise and take the strengths of either side to apply them to processes intent on improvement.
- I am a small fish in a big sea of people wanting real solutions.
- I am not alone in feeling like all previous attempts have been futility in action. So that means I am not alone in knowing that we probably should have just reached for the best normal we could muster and let go of the struggle, fighting and fear.
- I am one of billions, even trillions, wanting safer and more reliable options, that allow for freedoms and multiple choices.
- Governments know that when they are faced with forcing people to comply they know they have ultimately already lost the battle. Every historical instance of that has always been been overturned or reversed and often after major battles/wars and government restructuring. It would be nice if the latter was avoided this time.
- Everyone wants to feel safe and also have the freedom of travel and living life as usual.
- Governments may not be entirely reliable on all fronts, but they often do their best to reach for solutions for the most and they rarely actually put anything into place that is significantly questionable. They are aware that if something is on weak stance to begin with, that they are unlikely to be able to maintain it even if they try to start it. Those things rarely become laws and seemingly never remain as such.
- My most important choice is to let all of this go and reach for my center, my middle path.
- I must find the knowing that all is well and I am here to create change in whatever way that means.
- Only in the middle, will I find the peace to enable my own healing.
- I am helping. I am healing.
- I am healing myself from top to bottom, inside and out, every nerve, every muscle, every organ, every cell, every molecule, every atom.
- I bring healing to others as well.
- I allow my own healing to spill forth to heal my environment and everyone I come in contact with.
- I trust that my ripples of light will enable God to bring even greater healing to the world as a whole.
- I am now capable of seeing the fight for it’s toxicity and it has enabled more control over finding the middle path more frequently.
- I am grateful that I have been able to care for myself and my family.
- I am grateful that we have survived Covid twice when the system reacted too slowly to matter for us.
- I am grateful I have been able to improve both mine and my husband’s health.
- I am grateful I have healthy beautiful children.
- I am grateful I’ve been able to maintain my home and work, in all the ways that means.
- I am grateful I have enough to get through these times.
- I am grateful that I am strong enough, and smart enough, and aware enough, to navigate all of these many complex elements during this time.
- I am grateful I have access to healthy foods, vitamins and supplements which enable healing for me and those I love.
- I am capable and aware. “I am lion hear me roar.” My own abilities are my greatest asset and I thank God for every day that I have lived and overcome. Without my genetics, life experience and exposures, I would not be who I am today. I have done great things that society never even noticed, all because I am who I am and my divine blessings were not easily documentable for another’s view.
- I saw the sun shine, the wind blow, birds at feeders and pets on laps. I saw beautiful flowers and wildlife being themselves. This world is good when we allow it.
- I am grateful I took the time for me, and that I see the beauty in the easy moments. Life is better with less struggle.
May you see your middle path. May you feel genuine gratitude for being here in this world. May your inner knowing guide you to your way through all that is. May you find the ease and relish in every moment. May you know for certain that through ease and flow is healing. Above all may you know that God supports you in all that you do.
“The Middle Path is doing whatever is neither side in the current moment.” – ME aka Treasa Cailleach
So, I may just be super sensitive.
One of my clients today (who is also sensitive to energies) noted feeling symptoms similar to mine. She had taken to not eating certain foods because they were affecting her more and causing the symptoms to flare.
I told her pretty much everything except raw veggies and salads were seeming to do that to me, and the result was that I had gone two days of not eating anything except a salad at dinner (and liquids/tea/water). But I’m feeling much better running empty, and my brain is functioning better. I’m also slowly getting stress under control running on empty. It makes no real logical sense based on accepted medical standards. (That’s why Nathan still wants me to see a doc and get checked out, I’m not convinced it’ll do any good.)
Today I had my single serving of raw veggies at about 4pm, and dinner after work was a small salad with shrimp and sauteed zucchini. (The greens were fresh from our garden and amazing.) Otherwise I didn’t eat. Yet, I’m totally fine, and much improved in my sense of well being compared to 3 days ago.
After dinner a Sadhguru video notification spoke of shutting the mind off, and he was comparing uncontrollable thoughts to diarrhea. I joked with Nathan that based on his comments I must be needing to not eat anything, because even healthy whole vegetables are causing that for me. (You’re welcome for the TMI.)
Anyway, joking and TMI aside, I’m glad I’m starting to feel a bit better. Stress sucks.
I also wanted to share a couple more things that have helped me.
One meditation that I used two mornings running seemed to help with bodily sensations. I’ll describe it here:
First acknowledge the divine feminine is mother earth. She is fueled by the great fire within. We see her represented by Pele of Hawaiian mythology, Brigit of Celtic, and Hestia/Vesta of Greek/Roman. The energy of molten lava being at her core enables a great warmth which can be both destructive and life giving.
Then acknowledge that the heavens above are God’s abode. God force draws energy from the sun and air. Christianity acknowledges this well with most any ritual they do, but it is most evident when they draw down the “Holy Spirit” for baptisms and other blessings.
The two elements of divine force meet on Earth’s surface and in all creatures. So, to focus on that for yourself, can enable great healing energy to flow throughout your body and clear lots of negativity and blockages.
Simply sit and place your feet solidly on the ground, and rest your hands on your lap palms up.
Imagine the lava warming the earth beneath your feet and consciously slowly draw that sensation up your legs to your belly.
Then imagine God’s rays shining down upon your head and warming the top of your scalp. Slowly and consciously draw that sensation down your body until it too makes it to your belly.
Once you have both sensations meeting in the belly, consciously allow them to mingle and meet all of your organs. For me, I choose to focus on the warmth while I list off all of the organs and elements of my body that need love and healing.
It takes me a bit, but always helps me feel better, so that is why I shared it here.
The other meditation that has helped a lot recently has been very simple yet very involved. Simply put, I shoot down every negative thought, one at a time. For each one, it is followed by acknowledgement that my inner self feels good and I reach for one feel good thought that opposes the negative. It’s like the “wrong buzzer” from a gameshow, with a pause and then a “what does my inner being really think” moment. You could literally do this for hours and all day, I have before. Lately though, I just do enough of it to calm myself back to even keel and proceed with tasks at hand.
Finally, I took another hour walk at the pond today over lunch (I ended up with well over 10,000 steps again today.) It was overcast and windy, but I still found plenty of beautiful things and got some much needed nature relief. There is a guy that brings his dog to play in the pond and creek pretty much every time I’m there. The dog has so much fun that I couldn’t help but sneak a couple of pictures of pooch happiness.
BTW, I picked up trash while on my walk. It drives me a little bonkers to see trash when there is a bin available just to avoid litter. Plus people are gross. One of the items I very carefully disposed of using an empty box was a used sanitary napkin. Who does that?!?! Of all the litter, that one was the most irritating.
Finally, on the way home this evening there were two bald eagles perched at the top of the tree across from my favorite park: Minor park. I had to stop and take pictures. I’ll take it as a good sign and a reminder to visit that park again soon.
I hope you enjoy my nature pictures.
May you have good Stress relief. May you find meditation very helpful. May you have soothing nature moments. May you understand what is causing you to feel certain ways, and what to do about it. May you feel good mostly and have all the healing you need. May you feel relief and generally better each day. Above all, may you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.