This is a slight continuation of my previous post. I forgot one point I wanted to convey.
Allopathic medicine chooses to ignore the Mind-Body connection.
I chose my words here carefully. It is a conscious choice of medicine to ignore the role of the mind in the health of the body.
There is pretense to help with the mind because depression and anxiety have a whole host of medications that are often picked randomly and given a fair chance to help. There is also various methods of mental counseling, some of which can help greatly. I myself have utilized those techniques after medications fell horribly short of any relief (they didn’t do anything because my depression was thyroid linked and medications attempted didn’t even address thyroid for decades).
However, those psychological techniques are merely tools that one can use to right their own thoughts and realign with their higher self. In order for lasting relief to be gained one must practice them until they become second nature. That is the hardest part and the one that American Allopathic medicine currently could not care less if you actually master them.
Here in America you are given 14 weeks to break free from depression’s death grip. If that fails, it is up to you to figure out how to obtain more care, which often means either switching practitioners or taking a break so that your care can be counted as a new 14 weeks. Certain diagnosis’ can get you indefinite care, but often at your own expense regardless of income level, that is unless the condition is so severe it is found as a permanent disability.
Yet, this is after Allopathic medicine has well documented the placebo effect, the effects of meditation on the mind and body, and many instances of spontaneous healing of a wide variety. They have documented it so well that most doctors will say, yes it’s a possibility but because we don’t know how it works we can’t rely on it.
Yet they do know how it works. Hundreds of studies on meditation have documented direct effects on the mind and the body. They range from hormone level changes, to nerve function, to brain function during MRI’s, to effects on blood pressure and heart rate. They have documented thousands of cases of the effects of solid meditation in the mind and body. Enough to even have statistics along the lines of: X meditation practiced Y amount of time leads to Z percent of relief.
So why isn’t meditation and those other psychological techniques a priority? Why don’t we teach everyone how to do them and guide them enough that they do become second nature?
I believe the reason for this and my previous posts’ points is that they want us to stay sick.
They make more money off of us when we are not fully well. The American Allopathic system makes a ton of money off of treating symptoms enough to keep us alive but not fully healed. That is the biggest pandemic of all, and one that many people are still blind to.
Just like my thyroid disease. It was ignored for 20 years while trying depression meds; given basic medication treatment for 6 and was promised a lifetime of continued medication. I, via a helpful client have stumbled onto the true root cause and thus a potential final solution. If the hypothesis works I won’t need medication any more, which means the medical system will quit making money off of me. They can’t stand that idea.
What started as a system over 200 years ago with intent to genuinely help people heal, has become a big money making factory system. We are all just the cogs that keep it running. If you choose to decided that that is unacceptable, like me, you will likely run into the same wall of uncooperative doctors that I did. It simply becomes a threat to their livelihood. You will have to stand your ground and keep your wits about you, because they will do their best to dissuade you or convince you that your desires are either impossible or crazy. They will do anything to challenge your intelligence and make their system of symptom management seem like it is the better and only real choice.
The biggest problem is that they control the necessary tools to document your progress and processes. With the exception of most blood based labwork, you need the damn doc’s to order bigger tests and write temporary scripts to buy the time needed to accomplish the real goal. For some of the alternative treatments you would also have to have a practitioner willing to do them, and some of those treatments require specific certifications or an MD. That has been my battle the last 2 years, that is once I realized if I wanted full health and that I would have to take matters into my own hands and figure it out on my own. Now I battle to find someone willing to help me, and hopefully my client’s Functional Medicine guy will be my answer.
If you are on a journey like me, I wish you the best of luck and recommend the following documentaries.
There are dozens of others that will come up if you watch those, it will truly become a rabbit hole.
May you be well informed on your health possibilities. May you see new avenues to try. May you find practitioners willing and able to help you with your preferred choices. May you find the answers you seek. May you find your way out of being a medical cog. May you find true health. May you be wholley well and fully healed. May you live the life you desire.
I’m writing today to discuss my current situation and treatment goal, but also to expound on how Allopathic medicine is now a money maker and no longer concerned with general health, well-being or full healing. I of course am only speaking to my experience and knowledge which lies in the Great US of A.
So if you’ve been a regular reader you know the basics. If not the more brief synopsis is:
I’ve lived with undiagnosed thyroid concerns since I was 12 years old, the lonely unknown battle took it’s toll with severe suicidal depression (medications did not solve) and uncontrollable weight. Then, I met a lady on a train when I was 29 that cued me onto iodine and thyroid supplements. Because it was helping her and we had similar histories, I tried it, and lost 45 pounds in a month and then found myself pregnant. When I was 31 I gave birth to my son and my thyroid crashed hard, enough I almost killed myself and I was forced to seek help. Then began my journey dealing with doctors and trying to get accurate dosing and helpful medication to begin with. It forced me to begin learning about thyroid disease, medications and lab testing. I have since battled with doctors to keep my thyroid managed well and have utilized the Auto-immune Paleo diet, iodine supplementation, and seaweed to accomplish most of the relief I have gleaned, I intentionally work very hard to keep my need for medication low. I exercise regularly, can lift quite a bit of weight and am healthy by all measurable standards except body weight. Yet I knew something still wasn’t right when in January I could feel my thyroid irritating my voicebox. After an ultrasound finding multiple nodules on my thyroid, I spoke with one of my clients that has had a similar journey. She filled me in on a treatment she had done to eliminate a virus that had been hiding in her body slowly damaging her thyroid and other organs. It completely healed not just the virus, but the damage to her organs too. It was expensive so I put it in the back of my mind and said eventually I will get there.
However, God seems to think I need to act sooner. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago.
I got what I thought was strep throat, and not my first round of it. What I was dealing with looked and acted like it. The doctor begrudgingly did a swab that came back negative, but since I had already started the antibiotics and Prednisone she ordered I finish the doses out. Right as the strep throat symptoms were ending I got a nasty rash on my upper thigh. It at first looked like standard hives, so I was perplexed thinking I reacted to the antibiotics and Prednisone when I never had before. Then larger blisters appeared in the center of the rash and they hurt like crazy. I couldn’t figure it out at first and the doctor had pissed me off so bad with how she handled the strep swab that I knew I didn’t want to deal with her again. I prayed on it and did some meditations and otherwise kept moving and functioning, but was careful to be mindful of mask wearing in case the perceived strep was something else entirely.
Two days into the rash I remembered the conversation with my client about the virus and the treatment that was done to solve it, and the memory just nagged and nagged at my brain. I looked up the virus she had talked about, it was the Epstein-Barr Virus (see here for wikipedia info). Interestingly, that virus can mimic strep throat and occasionally does cause a nasty rash. I had never had the rash before but have had strep several times where it didn’t come back as positive on strep tests. I decided to skip the doctor and test the theory myself. First I did the acute mononucleosis test for $69, that in theory would catch an active EBV infection. It came back negative, which apparently 25% of tests can be false negative because of how the test looks for the virus. So I decided to do the more thorough Chronic EBV test. $169 later I was holding test results that showed really high values for only one of four of the antibody markers. The other 3 were in negative range. But the one antibody was so ridiculously high that the test results came with a disclaimer that it was significant of a recent infection. So I had my smoking gun. I was in fact dealing with an EBV infection, and one that was good at hiding in my body and not triggering all of the antibodies.
Like my client had told me, EBV can hide in the body for years and does a whole host of damage to various organs, the thyroid just being one. It can also damage both the pancreas and liver, which are the other organs I have noticable difficulty with, manifesting in my food sensitivities and glucose control. If left unchecked EBV can also lead to multiple cancers and lukemias.
So now I finally had an ‘Ah Ha’ moment. I finally knew the cause of my 25 year journey of ill health despite having been to many doctors in 4 states during that time period. I have in my hands, proof of the virus being in my body in a chronic way. It is most likely the cause to all my concerns, and if I can clear my system long enough I can enable my organs to heal and health to return.
Enter the treatment my client did.
She went to a functional medicine doctor that discovered her Chronic EBV infection and he did a treatment called IV Oxygenation Therapy. The doc costs an initial consult of $600 plus $100 per month subscription fee which covers up to two office visits. The IV treatment is $2000.00, and if I haven’t already done all the labwork he needs then there may be other additional costs. Insurance, if you have it, would only cover labwork, I don’t anyway and I am always cash pay. So I need essentially $3000.00 to attempt to kill the virus and damaged tissues and instigate full healing. However, the process is hard on the system, so my client had explained she was down for 5 or 6 days afterwards because of the cellular die-off and detoxing, so I will also have to account for missing a week of work as well.
Beyond my frustrations over cost and managing to actually implement something with the potential to end my battle for health, I am super frustrated at the awareness I now have of our medical system.
Essentially, a dozen+ doctors in multiple offices in four different states and 10 different cities over 25 years, and none of them even came remotely close to really truly accurately diagnosing the problem. Every last one of them either gave up easily (as with the “low side of normal” tests from childhood) or decided to treat the one symptom of low thyroid function.
If I had not taken the time to educate myself on the problem I was faced with and kept digging knowing that something was still wrong, then I could have spent 30 to 40 years taking thyroid meds to end up with cancer and potentially die from it.
Western medicine as it currently stands in America is concerned with two things. 1) A minimum of treatment to ensure you stay alive, not well, just alive. 2) Making money indefinitely via treatment of symptoms only, rare cases like certain cancers they will treat with the premise of eradicating the disease, but still favor expensive treatment over cheaper more effective options.
You may wish to disagree with me on either, but evidence is piling up to support both.
I have written on several occasions in regards to how elder care and instutionalized medicine are more concerned with keeping an elderly person alive than actually providing the ability to live life. It is how we end up with people bed bound or wheelchair bound for years at the end of their life. Unable to do many tasks, but still alive and suffering. I have directly worked with dozens of such people where my massages are intended to help prevent skin tears, bed sores, and maybe just maybe provide a little relief from discomfort of being frozen in place.
But yet, it’s more than that. Part two listed above is very evident for me. Not one doctor ever said, your thyroid is struggling, there’s potential we could solve that and get you back to normal. No, in Western Medicine normal is live on this drug until you die. If that drug quits working we’ll double the dose or switch to another. Never is it, try to heal you and get you back to normal.
Even with cancer, the goal is cut and chemo and radiation. We now have several options that have better potential at lower costs, liquid Vitamin C at massive doses can kill cancer, turmeric extract has also been shown to have similar results, and beyond that we now have Car-T. But Car-T is too effective, even though it is still expensive, it only takes one full round of treatment and 99% of cancer can be completely healed. It simply cuts their profit margin by too much.
Any treatment that offers the potential for full healing is either sidelined by the AMA and CDC or is outright attacked by both. The more clinical and lab tested something is, the less they are able to attack it, but if it cuts profits then it will never be fully supported.
So, if you as a reader, want a real solution to whatever health problem you are facing, then you have to do the following:
Take charge of the problem, learn everything you can on the subject and follow the rabbit hole as far as it will lead you. Even then you might need to dig a little further.
Learn to read the labs of anything that needs tested. It’s not hard and the information is readily available if you know the trusted resources to seek out. If you get fuzzy on interpretation there are usually forums where people discuss their lab results.
The hardest part- Find a doctor that: 1- isn’t threatened by your intelligence and concern for your own health, and 2- might have alternate solutions or is at least willing to try something you propose. You may have to seek alternatives to your standard MD.
Finally, listen to your intuition. God wants you to heal and will give you the breadcrumbs to follow, but you have to trust that process. If something feels wrong it is, if something feels missed it is, if something feels right it is, if something nags at you- look into it, it probably means something important. Trust and God will guide you to a real solution.
As for me, I finally have a plan for a potentially final but expensive step. My biggest hurdle is money and I’ve overcome that one many times. I know I can do it again. I will do my best to allow and know that timing is everything. God will enable me to fix this for once and for all, and I will have avoided the worst case scenario for this disease.
As for you: may you have the solutions you seek. May you always have the proper resources when you need them. May you find helpful doctors that listen and do their best to meet your needs and find real solutions for your problems. May you trust God and be able to follow the breadcrumbs. May you see the solution you seek. May you understand that you are loved and supported. May you have the support you need from those around you. May you feel the love and support when it is needed most. May you know God wants you to be well. May you find the joyous healthy life you desire.
Beyond muscles, I thought it was appropriate terminology for linking together multiple elements of which one finds support, stabilization and overall functionality. That is why I chose to start my blog with that name today.
I have found myself pondering many things this week, and their link is me. They are all elements of my life that I string together into one functional cohesive whole, moving together for a greater good. They give me support through learning lessons and being able to see my own skills and progress. Without any one of them my metaphorical spinal column would collapse.
There was the strep throat, which once I got the PA to pull her head out of fraidy-cat and do her job, quickly began subsiding. It’s amazing how an antibiotic and Prednisone script when utilized properly for the appropriate disease works wonders. I went from not being able to eat or drink hardly at all for 2 solid days; to now I have a tiny tickle that makes me cough occasionally, and a couple rough patches in my throat that haven’t fully healed. I was less concerned about the lack of eating as I have already been eating minimally for a while. But the dehydration began to set in fast and by the time I actually saw the PA I’d already gotten chapped lips and my skin on my hands was cracking and peeling. If I’d have gone another day without enough water I’d have been wasting a hospital bed just because of lack of fluids. I’m just glad I got through to her and managed to get a proper solution.
During my short strep journey my mom visited. In fact it really was nearly the same 5 day stretch. She was not really concerned about catching what I had since we’d both had strep before. I love my mom. We had long talks about a lot of things. I really appreciate all the good things I gained from her. I realized that she has had a hard time fighting her own demons and that has left her feeling like she didn’t do right by me. I did my best to explain that there wasn’t anything she could have done differently and that though there are some things I’m still trying to change about myself- mostly from dad, and I truly appreciate all the good qualities I gleaned from her. She’s my mom and I love her.
While she was here she cuddled with kitties which I know made her miss her departed Rusty and Fuzzy. I miss those cats too sometimes. She also made friends with Zen. It was adorable.
She also spent many hours sitting on our porch swing watching birds and butterflies in our yard. I have a few thistles we let blossom to dry for tea, and the goldfinches, hummingbirds and butterflies simply love them.
Kansas City is still not normal functionality for many things and my mom loves gardens. So my solution, for being under par myself and not being able to do normal things, was to do a driving tour of the city with stops at a couple of the gardens. We went to Jacob Loose park for their beautiful rose gardens and then to Kaufman Gardens, both of which are free and open year round, though prettiest in May to early July. Anya climbed trees and tried to encourage Ian to try as well. It was good fun. We all had a good time and everyone benefitted from some calm fun in the sun.
After our day of sunshine and flowers, I drove mom home to Iowa. I was sad to have to let her go, and I sincerely hope it is not the last time I see her. I know she feels like she has lived a full life and she tells me over and over that she is ready to go home. She says her body hurts frequently and she’s just looking forward to seeing her divine family. We have a genetic heinze-57 mix in our family, but heavy on Irish, Scottish and English. However, mom talks about her dreams of her Irish family and her true love she never found in this life, even having dreams of her horse. I told her I can sympathize and told her of my dreams where I was Quan Yin and Shiva (that brought up a whole discussion of beliefs in reincarnation and how sometimes I feel like I get judged unfairly for cultural strip mining.) Regardless, I appreciate our long conversations and hope there will be more of them. There are some things I still don’t tell my mom, because I simply just know she wouldn’t understand. Her relationship history has not been good, and elements of it leave me knowing she would not understand polyamory. I don’t think she would be mad or upset, just that she is in the state of misunderstanding where you can’t believe that someone would willingly want to do something. So I don’t talk about it, but we do find plenty of other things to talk about. It made for the almost 300 miles back to her home in Iowa much less painful.
On the drive though I was sad to see how much damage the derocho did as it passed through Iowa. The entire I-80 corridor had major damage and it stretched for miles and miles both north and south of 80. Mom was saying that originally they estimated a third of the crops were devastated, but as the damaged plants have dried, they are now suspecting half of the crops are lost. Harvest will begin early to glean how badly everything was damaged. I’m finding myself glad over the fact that I have not consumed corn or soy for a long while now, and that even my meat consumption is lower. The 4 states that were devastated by the storms are all in the top 10 of corn and soybean producers. That means that next year the hogs and cows will have less feed and the myriad of products made from corn and soy will all be much more costly and possibly more scarce. Something I simply will not need to worry about. It does concern me for the rest of the country though.
Anyway, some of the devastation was so intense I just had to try and snap picture as we passed. It may be hard for the untrained eye, so I’ll give you a couple internet images of healthy fields and trees first. The first two are just what a healthy corn crop looks like from the side, 3rd is those healthy fields on a tree line, and last is a healthy soy crop.
Next are the images I managed to snap from the car- sorry for the window glare. What you’ll see: Entire lines of trees with their leaves ripped off, entirely or much more sparse than usual. Corn fields flattened directionally, corn fields with few stalks standing and those are ripped bare; soy fields with huge swaths of brown damaged plants; trees fallen by the thousands many still being cut into usable wood for alternate purposes.
What I didn’t catch was all the businesses and homes with major damage. There simply was too much for me to document properly on my short drive. It is a bit sad for me because I know a much different Iowa and it will take years for the trees to fully recover. Businesses and homes will be rebuilt quickly, a matter of weeks to months and insurance will do its job. Crops will be harvested to the best of their abilities, and there will be an impact, but Iowa farmers have always done good to utilize as much as possible, so if they can salvage they will. What they can’t salvage insurance will cover in the short term and long term people will adjust as needed. We will get through this as much as any disaster.
What it all did do was give me something to shift my focus to gratitude and to see what I do have. Ultimately I spent the rest of my drive back to my home focusing on the good things and seeing that my Atira really is here. It’s not as I have dreamed all these years, but it is here and it’s close enough. I had a solid knowing that I am good enough and my dreams did matter.
My big shiney Atira dome home, for a big poly family, well it’s me and Nathan, kids and pets, in a 3 bedroom ranch in Kansas City. But there is hope for more, and always room to grow.
My mom isn’t in a little dome on the back 40, no she’s in a little brick quad-plex in rural Iowa. But she wouldn’t have had upkeep either way, and she has the peace and quiet in nature that I always wanted to give her. She is mostly content, and though I can’t walk to see her, it’s not really that long or painful of a drive.
My grumpy ass dad that wasn’t even supposed to be at Atira still got to visit and see that all his demeaning behaviors made me a better person than he. Plus he’s being cared for by my sister whom, even without any experience, is probably the better candidate to meet his desires and outdated beliefs.
My business park is really just the clinic; and my significant-other business partners, well they’re not-so-significant-others. Despite having thought the one chiropractor had lots of potential with the energetic connection, I’ve come to terms that it probably won’t go anywhere. And the office manager is a kind hearted woman like my mom, that wants to understand and be helpful, but sometimes just needs others to be understanding for her and her concerns. The both have my heart in much different ways than my dreams of Atira had implied. No less significant though.
My temple is my basement and no gatherings have been accomplished because of Covid. This too will pass.
My affordable, very capable, mechanic that can fix anything is a good man in Merriam.
My stores are scattered all over the metro area.
My Atira community is really another companies’ retirement home that has wonderful people working and living in it. I’m glad that my skills are still of service to them.
My festival grounds are our old stomping grounds out at Camp Gaea, and those too have been put on hold due to Covid. You know if it’s clothing optional, that masks won’t be worn either.
My studio space is a corner of our bedroom, and Nathan’s darkroom is the spare small room in the basement. Our gallery is still manifesting.
And Nathan. He is my everything. He wasn’t supposed to be, there were supposed to be others to share the load. But Nathan does his best. He’s my love, my children’s father, my parent on duty, my home educator, my house husband, my resident photographer, my high priest, my magician, and would-be Gardner. He does everything I ask, mostly in appropriate timing and with little to no complaint. He even finally figured out how to help with income and for that I’m so very grateful. I am mostly amazingly grateful for him in my life, especially since the challenges have begun to subside.
My Atira is here. It’s not perfect and doesn’t match my dreams of many years passed, or designs exactly, but most of it has a current usable manifestation. I am grateful for seeing it come together. I am grateful to see that I do have mad skills and I am enough. I have created a world that I am mostly okay with and I am finally beginning to enjoy. One day maybe I’ll have a more accurate version in comparison to my dream scape, but for now I will enjoy the version I do have. I will continue to help others as I am able, but I now have a sense of things having shifted. I no longer owe anything to anyone. I have done my duties and met all requirements imposed upon me. I am free to be me and enjoy my life in whatever way I choose. Now I get to figure out that means. What is fun for me and how do I want that to play out. Can my spread out sprawling Atira Jr become the compact concise community of my dreams over time. That would be really nice. For now I just get to focus on the fun parts. There are so many fun things I want to do that shouldn’t be too hard.
May you see your journey and all of it’s manifestations. May you understand your place in it all. May you know all the elements of your desires are within reach and that sometimes you just need to widen your gaze. May you see those you care for as being important, regardless of how the relationship manifests. May you know that you have done all you need to do, you are whole and complete and more than enough. You are worthy in God’s eyes. May you know that you have cleared your debts and met imposed expectations. May you understand deeper meanings and reasons for everything in your experience. May you feel your way to greater understanding. May you know your own worth, strength, and knowledge. May you see how your actions benefit this world and help it to continue to function. May you find joy mostly and enjoy the ride called life.