Tag Archives: find the magic

Seeing the path.

I’m struggling right now, so is my family. But, that has all brought me amazing clarity on what I really want, and that is already in my vortex. Struggle can be easily replaced with improvement just by some focus. So I’m going to focus on the positives and do my best to make light and joy of it.

I used to be Jabba-buska the Hut:

This Jabba the Hut:

But with a bit more babushka:

Now I’m a little more:

Image courtesy Nathan and social media. I honestly have no idea where he saw it, but I held onto it for just such a moment as this.

I’m kinda like that head witch in the middle- the one with black hair, large but definitely a woman… finally! It’s really nice to actually have a waist line for once, it’d be nice if it was a few inches lower, but I’ll take it! This artwork cracks me up by the way, this image would have been painted in a church, probably on the ceiling, but christians are generally speaking so afraid of nudity, I think all those naked church pictures traumatized everyone! The saw all the possibilities of the human body and behaviors and simply lost their minds it was too much to process and they just shut down. I wonder if the people most concerned about nudity refuse to go to the historic churches where pictures like this are found!

Anyway, tangent, I was on the subject of improvement.

I used to be scary-deamon mom who will slice and dice you if you step out of line:

Image: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kali

To, now, I can be this mostly:

And only occasionally, I turn just a bit, enough to scare the daylights out of children:

Control, when applicable, is totally a good thing. I can’t control a damn thing outside of myself, I can only control what’s inside myself. And my improvement is knowing that.

I have earned my miracles, every last one of them. And I’ll keep doing my best every day of my life, that’s a great belief.

I strive to do better so that humanity is able to improve as a result. I’m a willing participant in evolution for better. I’m deserving of my healing, but I’m also deserving of my children’s healing, my husband healing, our family showing it’s possible. That ripple will help enable everyone to know it’s possible and humanity needs that.

So I’m focusing on improvement in every aspect… To be continued … Just after I separate two children.

May your meditations and musings always be uninterrupted. May your children cooperate with you and sleep. May you find the light and know that humor sometimes helps get there by making things lighter. May you see your path to improvement and know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Sensitive with clouds

So, I may just be super sensitive.

One of my clients today (who is also sensitive to energies) noted feeling symptoms similar to mine. She had taken to not eating certain foods because they were affecting her more and causing the symptoms to flare.

I told her pretty much everything except raw veggies and salads were seeming to do that to me, and the result was that I had gone two days of not eating anything except a salad at dinner (and liquids/tea/water). But I’m feeling much better running empty, and my brain is functioning better. I’m also slowly getting stress under control running on empty. It makes no real logical sense based on accepted medical standards. (That’s why Nathan still wants me to see a doc and get checked out, I’m not convinced it’ll do any good.)

Today I had my single serving of raw veggies at about 4pm, and dinner after work was a small salad with shrimp and sauteed zucchini. (The greens were fresh from our garden and amazing.) Otherwise I didn’t eat. Yet, I’m totally fine, and much improved in my sense of well being compared to 3 days ago.

After dinner a Sadhguru video notification spoke of shutting the mind off, and he was comparing uncontrollable thoughts to diarrhea. I joked with Nathan that based on his comments I must be needing to not eat anything, because even healthy whole vegetables are causing that for me. (You’re welcome for the TMI.)

Anyway, joking and TMI aside, I’m glad I’m starting to feel a bit better. Stress sucks.

I also wanted to share a couple more things that have helped me.

One meditation that I used two mornings running seemed to help with bodily sensations. I’ll describe it here:

First acknowledge the divine feminine is mother earth. She is fueled by the great fire within. We see her represented by Pele of Hawaiian mythology, Brigit of Celtic, and Hestia/Vesta of Greek/Roman. The energy of molten lava being at her core enables a great warmth which can be both destructive and life giving.

Then acknowledge that the heavens above are God’s abode. God force draws energy from the sun and air. Christianity acknowledges this well with most any ritual they do, but it is most evident when they draw down the “Holy Spirit” for baptisms and other blessings.

The two elements of divine force meet on Earth’s surface and in all creatures. So, to focus on that for yourself, can enable great healing energy to flow throughout your body and clear lots of negativity and blockages.

Simply sit and place your feet solidly on the ground, and rest your hands on your lap palms up.

Imagine the lava warming the earth beneath your feet and consciously slowly draw that sensation up your legs to your belly.

Then imagine God’s rays shining down upon your head and warming the top of your scalp. Slowly and consciously draw that sensation down your body until it too makes it to your belly.

Once you have both sensations meeting in the belly, consciously allow them to mingle and meet all of your organs. For me, I choose to focus on the warmth while I list off all of the organs and elements of my body that need love and healing.

It takes me a bit, but always helps me feel better, so that is why I shared it here.

The other meditation that has helped a lot recently has been very simple yet very involved. Simply put, I shoot down every negative thought, one at a time. For each one, it is followed by acknowledgement that my inner self feels good and I reach for one feel good thought that opposes the negative. It’s like the “wrong buzzer” from a gameshow, with a pause and then a “what does my inner being really think” moment. You could literally do this for hours and all day, I have before. Lately though, I just do enough of it to calm myself back to even keel and proceed with tasks at hand.

Finally, I took another hour walk at the pond today over lunch (I ended up with well over 10,000 steps again today.) It was overcast and windy, but I still found plenty of beautiful things and got some much needed nature relief. There is a guy that brings his dog to play in the pond and creek pretty much every time I’m there. The dog has so much fun that I couldn’t help but sneak a couple of pictures of pooch happiness.

BTW, I picked up trash while on my walk. It drives me a little bonkers to see trash when there is a bin available just to avoid litter. Plus people are gross. One of the items I very carefully disposed of using an empty box was a used sanitary napkin. Who does that?!?! Of all the litter, that one was the most irritating.

Finally, on the way home this evening there were two bald eagles perched at the top of the tree across from my favorite park: Minor park. I had to stop and take pictures. I’ll take it as a good sign and a reminder to visit that park again soon.

I hope you enjoy my nature pictures.

May you have good Stress relief. May you find meditation very helpful. May you have soothing nature moments. May you understand what is causing you to feel certain ways, and what to do about it. May you feel good mostly and have all the healing you need. May you feel relief and generally better each day. Above all, may you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

The middle road.

This is inspired post number 3 of the clump I referenced previously. It sort of went with the one about the clinic helping people relax into the middle road of common ground.

I knew it needed it’s own post when I had the thought: that’s me, I’m a little of everything, I love happy-mediums and finding the things that work for most people. I love finding the most for the most, in whatever I’m doing, because it brings people together. When I’m not trying to do that for others, I like a little of everything for myself, that’s when I’m happiest.

There’s a poem or quote I remember, and would have to search to find it. It went something like: the middle path is the one not trodden, covered in overgrowth from disuse, but unlike the easy well-worn paths, the middle road has a sense of adventure and will teach you a plethora which the well worn paths would not. … Perhaps I’ll look for it and post at the end of this before publishing the post.

So, what is “A little bit of Everything”?

The good
The bad
The in-between
Art
Music
Playtime
And learning
Adventure
Unique
Unfolding
Excitement
Something new
Different
Magical and Enchanting

It’s a way to make your own way. Do what draws your attention and make the best of all of it.

So, in my focusing I went down memory lane of all of it and discovered that even the bad could be beautiful if you focus on lessons learned.

Moments of all:

*Sigh* (happy sigh)

The simplicity of sitting in a chair in the sun, watching the birds flutter and squirrels chase each other through grass and up trees. The peace radiates warmly, first on my skin from sun’s rays, but slowly it seeps deeper and deeper until all of me is relaxed and content. It’s even better with a cool glass of iced suntea to sip on, and beautiful flowers to gaze upon.

The excitement, fun, and relaxation of sitting on the grass, listening to a live concert in a safe community. Loud and delicious as it reverberates in my being. Good music will eventually make me want to move, my muscles respond to the vibration of the beat and simply want to join in the joyous sounds. Best enjoyed with friends and family, so I don’t feel like a complete idiot dancing while everyone sits like bumps on logs. When I really let myself feel the vibrations fully, they get my whole body excited. I make no pretence of being a good dancer, I’ve never learned real moves, but boy do I know how to follow rhythm. I may look like a flailing idiot, but every movement matches the music somehow, my body ensures that. Delicious, joyous music and dance.

The exciting hustle of bumping elbows with people at a bustling farmer’s market with all kinds of fresh healthy good vegetables and fruit, the best experience for obtaining nutrition for your self and your loved ones. Sights and sounds not experienced everyday. New tastes, sometimes smells (not always so good), people to meet, things to learn. An appreciation for how much effort went into growing produce that will soon become a tasty meal. A happiness for supporting local businesses. The joy of diversity of all kinds; people, plants and animals, a colorful array in an otherwise sterile inner city grey environment. People so close together, that disease could spread like wildfire, but rarely actually does. People so close together that fights could break out, but nearly never do. People coming together, en masse, to make lives better through good nutrition and good business. The togetherness is life affirming and healing.

Appointments with clients; neck & shoulders again huh? Oh wait, this time it’s your low back. The same faces, same problems, but each appointment a unique opportunity to help another human being feel better. My fingers so love the dance. The texture of skin, soft and silky definitely preferred, but even old and wrinkled tells a tale of life lived. My fingers so used to the process they immediately find the problem children (I mean knots). Like heat seeking missiles, they search and destroy all evidence of pain inducing tension. When someone or their knots are extra stubborn, it becomes an extra challenge. What trick will do it this time? The best is when all else fails and I relax into obliterating it with energy and love. There is simply no better sensation than lightly touching a hard muscle knot, impervious to previous pummeling, and feeling the energy move and the muscle begin to melt. Always, my intention is that clients leave feeling better than when they came in. And nearly always I accomplish my intention. The only drawback is my hands and arms do take the brunt of the work, many hours of self-care and receiving massage is necessary to keep them functional. Yet, even when I find myself in outright pain, I still feel my work is worth every moment. It enables me to do good, for my clients, for the clinic, for my community, for this world, and for the divine. How could it not be worth it?

Even the bad parts of life, the abuses suffered by others actions, the chronic depression and disease I’ve lived with, the hard journey to attempt to heal myself. Every bit, every ounce, has made me a better person. I see the ripple effect in nearly everything in my experience. I push myself constantly, doing my level best to leave the best ripple in this world that I possibly can. I strive to be better to others, than past others were to me. I’m not perfect, I’m human. I don’t always accomplish my goals, sometimes I outright fail horribly, I have hurt people and regretted it, I have disappointed people that I didn’t want to. But every moment of weakness, every outburst of temper, every hurtful word, has pushed me to do better and do my best to make amends. My goal is to be better than the examples I lived through. My hope is to give God something special to appreciate. My desire to make the world a better place in as many ways as possible, would not have been possible if it hadn’t been for the hurts I lived through and watched others lives through. Pain is never futile if it becomes fuel to light fires to find solutions. I honor and accept my journey as being helpful to this world, possibly in ways I may never know while alive. I may not dance the ‘happy dance’ over them, but I do see their benefit, both in my life, and for life in general. The magic lies in finding and seeing the good buried under the crust of darkness. Every time I have that moment it feels so freeing to my soul.

May you find your middle road, the path least traveled but which brings you exciting adventures towards happiness. May you see the good in all things. May you know you are a better person for all that you have experienced. May you find your healing in your journey. May your journey be easy mostly, but challenging or interesting enough to stay an exciting adventure. May you generally have fun and find the good in life. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do, regardless of the path you take.

Om Shanti

The following is the poem I was remembering, but this is also a good one.

“The Road Not Taken” ~ Robert Frost
Courtesy of Wikipedia

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves, no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.