Tag Archives: finding my vortex

Stream of consciousness- part 2

When I had the stream of consciousness experience (that produced the statements in bold italics below), I felt like I was having a conversation with my higher-self but masculine side. I had thought responses in the moment that did not initially get typed up. This is my attempt to put words to my immediate thought responses.

The matrix is being redesigned. What do you want it to look like?

I want both. Not necessarily simultaneously, but in conjunction. I want my Atira to grow, my family to grow, and real full life to resume in my universe.

Atira was supposed to be more, and bigger and include more chosen family. I want a closer version of my dreams of Atira. I know it’s already in my vortex, there’s an entire binder written on the details of that desire. I just want more of those pieces to manifest and become evident.

Even more I want society to regain balance. Just like in She-Ra, I want to help restore that balance and encourage positive changes. I want the whole truth about vaccines to be common knowledge, and I apologize in advance if that requires even more people to get hurt for the truth to come out in the open. I want the corruption and greed to be put back in it’s place and mitigated to minimize damages. I want Western medicine to return to “First Do No Harm” and helping people genuinely fully heal. I want symptom management to be replace by disease elimination, bodily healing, and to enable full health for all. I want to be able to see people’s faces, their expressions, and especially smiles again. I want for normal life function to resume acknowledging that we all are taking risks to do that, but that the risks are worth it. I want the relief to our economy to be evident immediately.

I want equality for all, and those against equality to simply fade into oblivion. They can have their opinions quietly in the background, as long as we all have the ability to live our lives as we choose. I also want the war machine to become obsolete and all of the ex warriors to have enough healing to treat everyone as equals. #BLM and #AllLivesMatter, because all lives do matter, but can’t happen when factions wish to keep attacking one another. Peacefulness and co-creative joy amongst all. That’s my desire.

I want to work, but less. I want to help others find healing, but also create beautiful things. I want to have time with my kids and my husband, but also with new friends and a new significant other or two.

I still want to honor my body and give it the exercise and nutrition it desires, but I also want to enjoy what I eat and have ease in choosing foods, and also the time to do other more fun things.

I want time management to be easy and have enough time for all of the elements to fit together correctly and seamlessly.

Above all I want for my own body to fully heal to even make any of those desires possible. To stay on the leading edge I need more energy, less weight, more stamina, and for life to fill every cell in my body. I want negativity, fears, viruses and all other worries to die, and be replaced with healthy fully functional cells, organs, and body parts. I want to feel spectacular so that keeping up with the leading edge is easy. I want to fully understand my gifts like Adora learning She-Ra’s weapon and energy. I want a fullness of experience, and joy and health. I want to ride the best parts of the leading edge for as long as humanly possible.


Are you someone who wants me to stay down with you?
Or are you someone who wants to try and keep up with the changes like I do?

I’m sorry if you want to stay down, I can’t stay with you.
If you want to keep up, we’ll do better if we work with each other.

I want to work together, show me how, tell me how.

I want to keep up with the changes and heal. I want to work together and help bring balance back to my own body and to society.

Help me heal first so that the negatives are easy to spot and solve. Help my brain to find positive healing, rewire and function more optimally on a continual basis.

Help guide me to the right actions and tasks. I feel like I’m already doing so much, and that I am enough, but that perhaps it’s just minor adjustments and your help figuring that out would be another huge blessing.

I am doing my best to allow the healing energy to flow as much as possible, and as strong as possible. If that flow could increase and stay on all the time, I think it would help in more ways than I can fathom. Please help me to accomplish that. I want the healing energy to flow to my own body, cells, organs and tissues because I love myself and I know I deserve the healing. I also want the healing energy to flow to anyone in my experience that is open to receiving it. I want it to powerfully help bring balance in all of my direct experiences and create a ripple that will enable positive healing for a much broader perspective. I want to help God bring light to the darkness we are entrenched in.

Om Shanti and Siva Hir Su

May you all have productive conversations with God. May you know for certain that your inner being fully supports you if you will let it. May you know exactly how to let it.

Om Shanti

We are okay.


Co-operative components
Assembling
Courage and inspiration
Voiced
Calm knowing turns
To decisive action

Thoughts
Feelings
Sensations
Pleasure
Intoxication
Sans fluids

Dreams and desires
May be futility
But heart's
Desires
Grow heedlessly

Warmth
Buzzes
Tingles
Of delight
Expansion

Leapless leaps
Hugs with no arms
Kisses without lips
Touches without hands
Embraced by thin air

All are
Symptoms
Of sense beyond
Present
Old news

All are
Knowing
Of a
Perfect world
Far beyond
This

Current
Reality
A false pretense
Of past
Manifested
Emotions

Old news
Is no news
Imagine
A Wonka dream
Worlds' paradise

Even if
Dreams stay
Floating clouds
Tis better
To have felt

Hearts
Desire
To feel love
To feel
Ecstasy

Sometimes
Only God Can
Provide
Heart's strongest
Desire
And it's okay that way.

~Treasa Cailleach

Fairly straightforward, but stems from reconnecting with my vortex today. I was able to pull up and focus strongly on my vortex by using the phrase “in a perfect world _______”. It was a beautiful day with sun shining, monarch butterflies flying, hawks screeching, and good conversation with clients at the clinic and residents in independent living. Today was a good day and I look forward to many more like it. I felt a couple of my others in a much better way today and enjoyed it much more, but regardless I found me, myself and I, and observed myself in this beautiful world.

A lunch break walk around the pond by the 2nd job was wonderful and relaxing. The smell of smoke from distant forest fires temporarily caused mild distress and I reminded myself that the fires often lead to new growth. I reminded myself that sometimes the old must die to make room for the new, and if man hadn’t started them God would have used lightening to do so, just like my virus laden cells needing to die to generate much needed healing. I also reminded myself that I love the smell of fire when it’s a small controlled one in my yard or fireplace, destructive forces are not always the chaos that they seem and can be very beneficial to that which they touch.

God is ultimately the one that controlls that process the most, and faith is all that is needed to survive as God intends, as some us survive by allowing our physical self to die. For me it seems only part of me needs to die, and I trust that God will help me navigate the effects of that process in the gentlest most functional way. I will do my best to stay focused on the relaxed, feeling good, enjoyable parts of my experience, and know that it is all okay regardless.

I am where I am and it’s the first step of the journey to where I would like to be.

May you know it’s all okay. May you trust God’s process and guidance. May you feel mostly good and be able to focus on the good in your experience. May you enjoy life mostly. May you see your way through challenges and see the solutions you seek. May you know you are healing and headed for better days. May you know that God loves and supports you.

Siva Hir Su

Not settling, just paused.

My dad was never supposed to be part of Atira. His leech-like energy-sucking is counter productive to my healing and forward momentum. Yet, I have processed a ton, emotionally speaking, since taking his situation on. So this is merely a segué in my progression forward.

I am not my father, and I am striving to be better and do better than him in most every way. My father is so very not God, and I forgive myself for having made that confusion as a baby. I have seen clearly, as an adult, that trying to please him is (and always was) futility and will never result in the feelings of love that I felt as a baby.

Additionally, this experience has definitely given me a very tangible lesson on how it is okay to let the old, infirm, and unhealthy die. The level of negativity he exudes daily is oppressive; it makes it difficult for my sensitive family to function, and bogs me down in unimaginable ways. So I am definitely ready to release that immediately. I am okay with his passing, knowing that all of that heavy negativity will stop and his spirit will be free of an infinitely oppressive weight. His passing would actually help his own spirit and the world quite significantly.

I do have a responsibility and a duty to do what doctors deemed necessary. I see that what little is being done, is enough to slow the death process, but not enough to eliminate it, so it is only a matter of time. Only God knows how to override that medical process and give my father the quick painless exit he prefers. So I have and will continue to send prayers that his preferred result comes sooner than later.

At the same time, all of the parts of me that carry his weight of oppression can also die. All of the cells and processes damaged by having learned from him can also die. Even brain cells can be transformed to release his patterns. I am okay letting every nano-ounce of his junk go. I even support my body allowing God to turn junk DNA off and more helpful DNA on. I am okay letting the old, infirm, unhealthy parts of myself die and for healing to take their place.

I deserve the wholly beautiful self, inside and out, that my divine half wants me to be. I deserve to have a more stable emotional set point. I deserve to be very even tempered. I deserve to have plenty of patience, and I also deserve to have fewer things test my patience. I deserve to have my understanding acknowledged, because I am more understanding of others than my father will ever attempt to be.

I know I am more compassionate than my father. I know I am more loving than my father. I know I am more caring than my father. I know I am WAY more open minded than my father. I am more accepting than him. I am more thoughtful, courteous, and respectful than him.

So, my Vortex self is all of those good qualities, and letting the old die will enable the Vortex version to manifest more easily. That is a very good thing.

Abraham talks about ignoring what you don’t want and focusing on what you do want. So I am putting a concerted effort into ignoring all of the old dieing parts and focusing intently on the end result.

I’m focusing on: my DNA being flipped, my tummy being small, my skin being toned, my metabolism being high, my emotions stabilizing on a high vibration set point, my temper disappearing, my brain rewiring, and all of my good qualities being honored by others. Those are the elements of me that have been trying to manifest for 30 years, held down by unhelpful beliefs and genetic karma passed to me by my parents. Those are the elements of me I chose to allow to come forth knowing none of the past is worth hanging on to. I am worth more than repeating my parents sad and negative story.

So focusing will continue as long as necessary. This is just another manifestation goal, and one I am certain I’ll achieve in time. My current determination being what it is, it may be much sooner than other manifestations have taken. I don’t like the feeling that my father produces, it makes it really obvious that he has disconnected me from my own source. I think I know how to fix it short term, and every minute of everyday I am able, I will focus on the desired vortex version and allow it to manifest quickly.

I will find a way to allow better.

My Atira is not for the infirm to drag the world down, it is for the healthy to lift the world up.

May you all have very clarifying experiences. May you see exactly what needs to happen to allow better things in your world. May you trust the divine process. May you understand when negativity threatens your mood that it is because you lost sight of your own vortex. May you always find a way to focus on your vortex, even when darkness threatens your life. May you always win the good fight and find alignment with your source. May you know your divine half is always routing for you and that God loves and supports you.

Siva Hir Su