Tag Archives: fun

Celebrate Successes

This afternoon after work the office manager invited people to celebrate her success of clearing radiation treatments.

It was a good poolside party to celebrate her win.

I was/am very happy for her. Her treatments are not complete in that she has oral chemo next, but she has definitely cleared the worst part of cancer treatment and we are all super happy for her. I am glad that she had such a wonderful group of people to support her.

I am honored to have been included in the group.

Sometimes I feel like I should do better, or I’m no-one special, or that I am the socially awkward person that no one really wants there. The sore thumb that stands out in a room. In those moments I segregated myself to not impose too much. I have this secret bashful side that sometimes hides cleverly behind my confident side.

There are moments where my opioniated self argues “I have nothing to worry about just be who I am, the world needs to be more accepting”, but the bashful side says “I’m just so different that I make others uncomfortable and that makes me uncomfortable”. I often feel like I can feel the energy of judgement even when people don’t say anything, and it definitely makes me uncomfortable, I will often migrate away from people only realizing later what happened.

Occasionally, I have an awareness that, even though I am comfortable with my self because of my major improvements, others live in a different paradigm and have no clue about my path and progress. Those people might say or do something embarrassing and cause a scene, and it is not my intent to cause any scene anywhere, so bashful wins again, and I fold myself up to be less obtrusive.

I caught myself doing that a few times during the gathering. Fortunately, the successful-celebrant’s sister, or my co-workers, seemed to notice and help draw me back out into participation. I appreciated that, and I’m so glad that my uniqueness was tolerated for such a wonderful celebration. It was a concern for me going into the celebration, but I had done my best to ignore my fear, and I’m glad I wasn’t the cause of any disturbances for her big win.

It was a quiet, pleasant, and mostly comfortable gathering to honor and respect a much deserving person. I enjoyed a bit of slightly cool pool, good food, and even a drink to celebrate with her. I’m glad I was there and I’m more glad she had a good afternoon, she deserves it.

It also helped me to see that I have the family I’ve dreamed of. They aren’t polyamorous partners of my ideal dream, but they are family just the same. I can share my fears, my hopes, my dreams, my desires and everything. They put up with my loudness at times and respect me completely. They have helped Nathan so much it makes me cry, and when I expressed major concerns over recent things, I felt like I was really heard and that they genuinely care. The hugs I have received from them are priceless and help more than I have words for. I really appreciate my work family.

I had some of that with the one person I worked with at the job I found myself having to step away from, but at the clinic I feel that way with everyone. They all care about me and I care about them. Genuinely and completely. I am so utterly grateful. It is a wonderful feeling to have people around me that truly care.

May you enjoy celebrations of succuss with everyone you love and care about. May you see your family around you, even if they are not biological or in a marriage-like commitment. May you know those you care about also care about you. May you enjoy life mostly and see your dreams begin to manifest. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Holiday Hootenanny

I may have a really messed up sense of enjoyment these days.

I spent my holiday finishing a project started last fall- the front patio. After pulling the few plants that managed to make it through the summer of 2020, we managed to not get back to it.

*Can’t figure out why (dripping in sarcasm)*

Anyway, I decided this final day of my 12 days off should be invested in finishing that, it was my last chance to get caught up for who knows how long. It could be a month or a year, so I took advantage of my chance.

My holiday celebration began at about 10:00am with a trip to my favorite hardware store: Menards. First trip was 16 bags of sand to level the area in question. After quickly dispersing the sand, I returned for second load: 83 pavers.

I ran home and with Nathan’s help quickly placed the pavers. He hoisted pavers until he over exerted reaching to try and pull 2 at once, he said it tugged too much at the lower incision. Then he became my photographer.

I needed just a few bricks or cobble stones to fill gaps too small for the 1 ft square pavers. So I returned to Menards one last time for those.

I have a bag of locking sand mix, but being that it was raining lightly all day, I couldn’t put that down yet. So, it’s essentially one easy step from being done.

I’m very happy. After moving pots closer to where their final spots will be (they’ll be on the charcoal pavers after being locked down). I then placed the boyscout plants we ordered 2 months ago, they came in 3 weeks ago, but I’m just getting to plant them now. The result is the final view pictures below, after the gaggle of progress shots (plus there’s a couple cute moments with kids from after hammock time at the end of the day).

I was super happy! I told Nathan I was really happy because I finally had a decent house, and now it has both a pretty front patio and a wonderfully comfortable back porch with all the fun stuff and practical gardens.

We’re going to put up a singular pole to remount our white led string for front patio mood lighting, it’ll be like a canopy of twinkle lights over the front patio.

Then when I get done dissecting the tree we’ll have a patio set with lots of character to go on the patio. I decided between our neighborhood having occasional theft concerns, and also because of needing to use up the tree, that a rough hewn set was the perfect idea. A few chainsaw cuts from the large end of the tree and a bunch of assembly is all that is needed. I’m kinda excited to do that project. It may be slated for next Sunday, weather permitting, we’ll see.

Anyway, I really was happy with my results and I have enjoyed the inspiration it stirred as well. It even kept my mind of of other concerns all day, in fact right up until I wrote this sentence I had completely put everything out of my mind. That is immensely comforting. It is relief through hard but creative labor.

Now as I write this post dinner is being made, and I’ve already had an hour out in the hammock. So, I layed a new patio in roughly 7 hours, mostly by my own hands and driving. That’s spectacular considering I’m not a professional and have no specialty equipment. I really appreciate that Nathan helped as much as he could and I look forward to days where he’s more back to his normal self. That will be a good day for certain.

This was a good day.

May you have good days full of inspiration, accomplishments, and loving support. May you have your health always and find that you easily push worries from your mind. May your productive moments also bring you great joy and satisfaction. May you find that you can relax knowing it all, is a symptom of improvement. May you know that the divine and your higher-self loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Day 1 of 3: Sighhhhhhh

No responsibilities. No kids. No requirements. No things to think about or solve. No schedule or places to be. It is my choice.

I started at my brother’s house because my sister in law picked me up for a break for herself, and they were saving me a rental car by loaning me one of theirs.

So 9:30 was saying hi to everyone that has already made it. Then I wandered his property. It is so beautiful I took pictures. Here’s some highlights:

Then I needed to decompress and find the ocean. He’s 15 minuets From several options, but I picked Stonington’s borough.

I sat on one stretch of rocks by the docks, then walked further out to the small beach. Again a few highlights for your viewing pleasure:

After quite some time I decided I was thirsty and somewhat hungry. I went to the restaurant on the pier by the docks. It’s called breakwater.

I enjoyed a grilled lobster roll with sweet potato waffle fries and a rum punch with a Flourless Chocolate Torte for dessert. I went only slightly off of my diet choices to accommodate a wonderfully east coast amazing meal. Nothing an extra Benadryl can’t solve, especially since it was so yummy and a good meal by the water.

So far I am having an amazing day, and it’s only 3pm. I have 5400 steps in and much needed relaxation, and a super yummy meal. Did I mention I really needed this!

My phone battery is running low from all the pictures/videos, so I may not be able to post this fully until later tonight when I get back to my hotel. Needless to say, I’m really enjoying much needed relief and relaxation.

I am enjoying this short trip immensely, I really needed it and I’m milking it for every ounce of joy possible.

On a side tangent, as someone who never gets their nails done because I have to trim them twice weekly, I didn’t want to spend any significant money making mine look good for this short special occasion. My first attempt was peel and stick. They were pretty with gold accents, but were easily loosened by normal tasks and came off the first time I washed my hands. My second attempt is a do-it-yourself glue on set which I had to trim down. They’re not perfect like high dollar manicures, but pretty and they accomplished what I was going for. Both sets were $5 from “Five Below”.

May you have immense relief when you need it. May you enjoy yourself and still be kind to your body. May you have exactly what you need and desire in any given moment. Above all may the joy you experience, help you find the healing you seek in every moment. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti