Tag Archives: funny

Inspired Funny

There is a common trigger point that became funny for me today.

It’s right behind the ball of the foot in the muscular portion of the arch. In Chinese medicine it’s very near Kidney 1, although a bit more proximal (towards the center of the body). In the image above is just about where her thumb knuckles contact her feet.

Trigger points are usually referenced by the muscle they most consume, though some muscles have more than one possible location so then you start using directional labels to distinguish which one. Trigger points often consume more than one layer of muscle tissue, so that’s why I define it as most consumed.

Anyway, the funny part.

The muscle for this particular trigger point is Adductor Hallucis.

I was thinking about how that particular one is active on my right, but not left foot. Then I was thinking about the myriad of reasons it becomes painful: dehydration, low kidney function, toxin buildup in the feet, poor circulation, even just as simple as ‘my feet are hellaciously painful after all that walking/working’. Yet Kidney 1 is our most major grounding point of the body, it is where Hallelujah meets Momma Gaea.

Then I had this funny thought of the people that decided to name muscles. My thought was in the ‘so stupid simple’ mindset:

Sam: alright that brings us to the feet. Let’s start with this big one at the bottom. What should we call that.

Jo: Gee, I don’t know, it seems to connect with everything all the way to the top of the head, so that seems pretty godly to me. But then damn, after a long hard day it sucks as much as anything ever. I want to curse God and the devil both…. I know… Hallucis. … We’ll call it Hallucis. … Where Hallelujah meets Lucifer, it just is.

[This joke doesn’t work as well in the Pagan perspective… Hallelujah meets PelĂ©, Hades, or Hephaestus… Nope definitely not working there.]

That’s it. That’s where my mind finds funny sometimes. I hope it was funny to you too!

May we all find some humor in this day. May we all feel a bit better in any way that works for you. May we all continue to reach for better always. May we work our way towards better alignment in all ways. Above all, may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

You might be tired if…

– you fall asleep at QT fuel stations frequently. 

– you miss an appointment that you scheduled yourself for the first time ever in 5 years of self-employment.

– you start to head to another appointment a day early.

– you make it to the only Halloween event that your family is going to this year (compared to dozens in previous years), and promptly take up residence on the only sofa.

– your costume is a store bought witch hat & your only black skirt worn over your work clothes. (previous years costumes were very elaborate)

– every spare moment is meditation opportunity, but often turns into a catnap sitting up straight.

– perfect strangers comment that you look tired, and ask if you’ve had a long day.

– your coworkers express sympathy for your fatigue several times a day.

– every opportunity to sit is taken with a huge sigh of relief.

– you started to refer to yourself as an urban zombie.

– you take your husband’s head off over stupid crap instead of giving out the usual hugs and kisses.

– you fall asleep and when your alarm goes off in the morning, your immediate thought is “no way, I just set that a few minutes ago, did I screw up!”

– you have no recollection of your night except your one groggy potty trip, though some nights not even that.

– you realize that your first real day off is a majorly fun holiday and your only thought is “I can sleep in, or maybe the whole day!”.

– you fantasize about your online boyfriend, and it really just involves a good kiss and falling asleep in his arms.

– you find yourself frequently thinking “focus, what focus; I have no ability to focus on anything anymore”…. That or just inadvertently staring off into space even while someone is talking to you.

– you feel like a real live Igor; limp, haunch, and all.

– you realize your 2nd prenatal appointment is in a few days & hope your husband remembers everything important for you.

– you discover you’ve lost 30 pounds in the first trimester from your spectacular diet and pretty good willpower, but you’re inner voice responded with a monotone “that’s great, another 7 months to go.”

-hard surfaces frequently get turned into imaginary pillows.

– and finally: writing this makes you want to crawl into bed, even though you’re sitting in a friend’s house an hour from home.

Why gluten is like sex with your X.

It was a good day.  I’m loving life today and very confident.  It must be showing because I’ve had oogles of compliments today.  So, since I’m feeling great,  here’s that funny post I promised. 

———

So soft, warm and moist. I cradle the supple gooey bits. The smell is amazing,  so wonderful I just want to bury my face in the warm pillows.  The texture is amazing,  soft yet flakey, airy yet dense, firm on the outside and so giving on the inside. The moister the better,  it  makes me drool with expectation. My jaw hands agape. I just can’t wait to dig  in  and devour every bit with eager abandon. 

And then I think of the cheesy buttery logs of glory.  The smell is intoxicating.  I want to devour every glorious delicious inch. Jusy the right amount of firmness, with that oh so wonderful coating.  I could eat millions of them in a lifetime,  it never gets old.  So delicious,  making every bit of my body feel warm and luscious.  Every cell of my body a twitter with excitement. 

Yet,  when the deed is done,  the reality sets in.  That was not a good idea.  I can’t erase that moment.  It sets in slowly,  creeping into my mind.  The horror of what I’ve just done.  I start to hold my belly,  roll over and close  my eyes. I fall asleep hoping that when I wake it’ll have just been a bad dream. Yet I know it’s not.  The morning will bring  a walk of shame,  the remnants of that bad choice will follow me for hours,  neigh days.  Hopefully not weeks.  How does one break up with such a blissful monster yet again? 

And that is how gluten is just like sex with your ex. An oh so wonderfully delicious yet horribly wrong idea.