Tag Archives: gardening

Sprouting.

2 nights ago we had a slight freeze. I had already started planting, so we covered all the gardens, even where they were mostly dirt. I didn’t want to take any chances. Luckily we were on top of that enough that only one plant was affected- 1 of 2 basil plants was frost bit enough it may not survive.

Otherwise everything survived and when we uncovered I was pleasantly surprised by more sprouts showing.

The pesky squirrels have eaten some of my bulbs, so I bought a just few more to start inside so I can fill in gaps as needed.

So far this is how things are coming along:

Existing plants coming back:


I’m so excited for all these beautiful plants I get to enjoy from previous owners and my therapist, but that’s not all!

The plants I started from seed and bulbs are sprouting! The darned squirrels got a few, but there’s still a lot coming up. Flowers and vegetables are all sprouting. I’m super excited. It may not look like much, just a lot of dirt, but if you look close you can see all the different sprouts. The baby plants, there’s lettuces, cabbage, onions, strawberry, and herbs (minus one frost-bit basil). I’m so excited to see things take off. I will have lots of pretty flowers and plants and almost as many edibles.

May you have exciting enjoyable sights. May your gardens and life sprout with all the good things. May beautiful things bless your experience. May you get to reap some benefits of those that came before you. May you have beautiful things that you didn’t have to work so hard for. May you get to enjoy nature and your life. May your days be blessed and fill of all kinds of beauty.

Siva Hir Su

Alone in my Gardens

YouTube notified me of this song after I had spent all day digging in dirt alone:

It fit very well. And I did need that time. It was overcast and cool, but I really needed the nature and peacefulness. I know I’m an empath, and sometimes my junk is literally having collected everyone else’s stuff. Sometimes it’s my own. Sometimes it’s a blend of both. Regardless, digging in the dirt or being in nature is soothing to my soul, as much as art or music are.

So I spent literally all day doing Gardens. My body hurts as much as ever, but my mind is calmer. I sat to eat dinner having gotten all but a few seeds in the ground. The simple act of consuming a meal brought my motion to a halt. I no longer desired anything but sleep. Except that I recognized how sore I was and deemed a bath as necessary before sleep could be accomplished.

I dumped 4 pounds of Epsom salts into the tub and now I soak. 30 min, maybe a bit longer in as hot as I can tolerate. It will soothe my sore muscles enough to function this week.

It was worth it though. My gardens will be beautiful when they grow. I got 9,000 steps just moving back and forth through our yard. Hoisting bricks and cinder blocks. Moving sticks and rocks. Not to mention all the dirt that I carefully filled every bed and planter with. The seeds was the easy part at the end of the day.

I planted fern bulbs gifted to me by my retired massage therapist. They had sprouted quite a few runners, so I stretched them out to cover a long section along the back of our house. It’s off the side of the porch in a narrow trench of dirt between the sidewalk and the house. They’ll be perfect there.

On the other side of that same sidewalk I constructed my favorite-easy-cheap cinder-block planter. It’s the second time I’ve done this large scale, and both times I used found cinder blocks. The universe loves me, because not only were there enough cinder blocks to do that, but there were enough bricks to pave the dirt between the planters. No more muddy mess.

We also put lots of grass seed down to try and fix the rest of the muddy areas in the yard.

So far I have several different mystery flower bulbs left by the previous owner. I have Rose bushes planted by the previous owner. There is lots of the dark ivy ground cover (not English Ivy). There are a few shrubs I can’t identify yet, and some kind of perennial plant that is sprinkled about- I think some of them are volunteers, but I’m okay with that.

Then I’ve planted gladiolus bulbs, fresia bulbs, Iris bulbs, anemone bulbs, tigridia bulbs, renunculous bulbs, zennia seeds, bachelor button seeds, marigold seeds, Daisy seeds, cosmos seeds, lettuce seeds, spinach seeds, kale seeds, broccoli seeds, cauliflower seeds, cucumber seeds, chard seeds, okra seeds, several varieties of bean and pea seeds, chive seeds, white onion seeds, red onion starts, and cabbage starts.

I have one big circular planter left, which has some of those mystery plants in it, but around the mystery plants I’m going to put our zucchini and squash seeds. There’s also the oval planter which has volunteer violets in it right now, but will get herb seeds ASAP. We will have quite the gardens when they sprout and grow. I very much look forward to that.

With all of that I’ll leave you with pictures of my handy work. May you all have calming, grounding time to soothe your soul. May you have beautiful gardens or the ability to enjoy other’s gardens. May you feel safe and supported by the universe. May you stay healthy and have joyous days. May peace be with you.

Siva Hir Su

It’s going to be ok.

I’m having difficulty, but still doing my best, to convince myself that sanity will return to society and martial law will be lifted. Everyone is really enjoying fear mongering over yet another new virus. 60 years ago this shit didn’t happen. Hell, even with the Zikka virus 2 years ago it didn’t and cases of that made it to Missouri, right before I got pregnant with Katherine. I held my breath through first trimester, crossing fingers I didn’t get it, but otherwise the only thing different was lots of spraying for mosquitoes.

Oh well, my down time has been spent with the TV off and my phone put away or only playing music.

I have been very non-income productive. If I’m not working to make money, I’ll at least chip at my mile long to-do-list of other things I consider important. Then there’s all the things I like doing, but never have time for.

So first, I did some art for my massage office.

Then I went home early, after it was certain I wasn’t likely to get any additions today.

Once home, I worked on gardens. Using supplies already purchased. I built the long raised bed planter, and finished the flower gardens along the sidewalk by our front door. Everything I have planted so far is bulbs or seeds so it will still be a bit before I get to see any results. They’re just big swaths of dirt right now, but there is far less gravel than 2 weeks ago.

All the gravel filled the bottom half of every planter, that was nice, I reappropriated supplies already present, a good money saver. It just took a crap ton of digging and hauling. Then being bent over planting things, my low back is now angry. Ian helped some, but not nearly as much as I would have thought based on his throwing rocks in the back yard. Nathan also helped as he was able.

Google then thought it would be funny to follow my new pictures with a reminder:

I really enjoyed the day all things considered. I would rather have my steady stream of income, but I enjoy these activities too. Maybe one day I’ll get both, that would be the best. Besides it was a decent weather day, the rain dried up just enough to do the gardens and the sun even came out for a while.

May you have time to create beautiful gardens. May you enjoy time outside. May you get to do all the things you enjoy and still earn a living. May you enjoy time with your family and stay sanely healthy. May everyone find calm and feel safe and secure.

Siva Hir Su

First Bulbs

Planted
Waiting
New hopes still dormant
Sun's rays warm
Water falls to nourish
Cold nights yet inhibit
Vulnerable aspirations
Anticipation of beauty
Expectations of growth
Excitement withheld
Too early to tell
Even small dreams can be destroyed
A countdown begun
Finite time
Easy to measure
Success or failure
Hope for the former
Mitigated by reality
Halfway is okay
Partial success still
Better Than
None at all
Cross fingers
Wait
Watch
Birds and squirrels
The only signs of life
Will the dirt become the beautiful garden
               -TC

Garden is started, but I’m short time and temper. I’m burnt around the edges and wishing I had a clone of myself. Or two or 3. I’ve added topsoil to the primary bed around our big tree in front and planted elephant ear bulbs and coleus bulbs around it. Smaller flower beds along our sidewalk have been started but not finished, gladiolus bulbs already in one side, but other bulbs have yet to be planted. I don’t have steam or time to finish this week, and hope my body will keep trucking. I must not be a good manager because every time I ask for things from Nathan I am disappointed by incomplete results and kids causing yet more trouble. There is only so much of me and because of Nathan’s health I’m trying to do my jobs, his responsibilities, and somehow fit self-care and self-gratification into it all to not hate the world.

May you all find that you are enough. May you have capable support. May your kids behave (or kids in your experience). May you have enough time for self-care and self-gratification. May you feel replenished occasionally enough to enjoy your life and your world. May you feel appreciated.

Siva Hir Su

If nothing else my garden is doing great. 

You may have noticed a lack of updates about the physicality of our lives. It’s because there is precious little to report. I’m doing my best to not be upset about that.  It is what it is. “I am where I am and it is ok. It has to be because it’s all I’ve got. ” – Abraham Hicks

It’ll sort out in time,  especially since I’m staying buoyant more and more. I’m going with the flow more these days than previous,  so it has to improve eventually.

Anyway, in the meantime.  I’m enjoying garden happiness.

Radishes & herbs. The thyme & parsley are doing the best,  but I’ve got a little cilantro and sage as well.

The beans and snap peas did so so. & everything else is right in the middle of its growing season. 

My flowers are starting to be pretty…

& I’m enjoying watching the birds on the feeders,  but I’m apparently not even a decent wildlife photographer. So you’ll have to take my word for it. 

I’ve seen cardinals,  bluejays, other jays, nuthatches, your usual chicadees and finches. Momma Carolina Wren nested in the birdhouse again this year. Gold finches & orioles. There’s some kind of small brown & rainbow esque bird I see occasionally,  and lots of woodpeckers of a variety.  I’ve seen some beautiful barn owls & I can hear a great horned owl every night. Though a schreech owl can also be heard at times.

I’ve seen kestrels, peregrines, gryfalcons, some kind of dark hawk I think might have been a Harris hawk. Oh, and lots of vultures, there are about a dozen within a mile of home and they’ll often fly as a group.  The houses have been buzzed many times. It’s really neat. 

We had to fortify the coop from a raccoon that ate a few chickens.  Opossums, rabbits, skunks,  and squirrels abound. I thought I felt the big kitty watching us at night for a couple of weeks,  but even that sensation is gone now & I never did catch sight of her. 
Otherwise, it’s just peaceful and I’ve taken advantage of that a few times now. More time for introspection in a positive way. 

Finally,  on another note,  my post from yesterday: something else occurred to me. “It’s not just me, it’s my whole life,  my whole family”. Yes,  that is who we are in a nutshell.  It’s good to know all of that about someone.  It’s good to meet someone’s family to get a clearer idea of things, an understanding of motivations,  how someone is likely to interact with others, and even how they were raised so to see how it might affect life decisions and really everything about a person. It helps to know how emotions are shown, or not; expectations that are built into family  dynamics,  communication skills/ interactions,  and even basic functions of daily life. 

I’d like that very much.  I’d like to know all of that and more. I know that’s complicated though and may or may not ever happen with anyone at this point. 

  I met Anya’s mom’s family when I was still just “the new girl”. They totally disregarded me as anything to be concerned with until Amy got sick.  Yet after Amy passed they finally accepted me as a mom figure in Anya’s life.  Things are mostly ok now. 

I met Nathan’s family early on and they liked me right away.  It did provide lots of clarity and understanding and still to this day does at times. 

Nathan met my family.  I think they liked him fairly well as an individual,  but they were very forthright in their dislike of me choosing to marry him.  He was too old, too black, too poor, and previously married with a child is always a bad idea.  To this day I know that my family dwells on my marrying him as having been a bad choice. Yet 14 years later, 8 of marriage,  I’m still in love with him,  even with all the struggles and woes. If I could change one thing it’d have been more money, a lot more.  If 2 things,  it’d be more time freedom.  Neither of those would have changed my relationship with Nathan,  only made it easier to enjoy more time with him doing more exciting and fun things.

I personally think that even if we’re  somewhat astranged from family- as in my case, we never really escape the fragments and remnants in our psyche. It’s definitely an ongoing connection that shapes who we are as people. I have already thought through introducing poly life partners to my family. It wouldn’t be easy, surely very complicated, and  I’m certain it’ll go over pretty much the same as it did with Nathan. However, I also feel my family would have the right to at least know,  they raised me, they need to see how their influences turned out. But more importantly,  my partners have a right to know that same information.  My partners have a right to know the complexity of what they are committing to, because I am a sum of all of my life experiences and family  interactions. My family is inherently part  of me,  for better or for worse. I hope that Nathan and I will one day have life  partner(s) willing to go through the uncomfortable experience of meeting my family, and the slightly less uncomfortable journey of meeting Nathan’s family. It would go miles for helping us all understand each other,  but it would also show they are guinenly committed to being a part of mine & Nathan’s family. That is priceless. 

Memorial Day, Gardens… contrast.

So the rest  of the weekend was an up, down, & all around,  kind of weekend.  We got very little accomplished since we had to take turns sleeping & keeping track of Ian.  He was his usual handful, but still cute.

Today I feel exhausted,  but I’m still going,  & very slowly finding buoyancy. I’m attempting to glean why it is that I can work through negative things in the public and work world,  letting them either bounce off  me or finding the silver lining.  Yet,  when it comes to home I struggle to do the same,  & the handful of negatives attempts to consume my world. I don’t have an answer yet. 

Examples:

Work: 

Today is Memorial Day, which most people have off, and I’m finding all my residents have their usual channels turned on,  but there’s extensive coverage of the Arlington service. I found myself wanting to gag due  to Trump & the propaganda that makes it’s way into the speeches. I find this year’s service to be a most distasteful way to honor the fallen. 

Then I step back & voice my real thoughts with the tv on mute. Regardless of my views on the profitability and politics of the military machine, memorial day is about honoring those who died in service. Of those that died, many of them voluntarily chose to serve in good faith based on the knowledge and information they had. They felt it was their duty to help America in whatever battle they participated in,  that their military service benefited the greater good. Those that may not have had such a choice (draft, family pressure, poverty) still accomplished their duties faithfully and put the greater “good” over their own personal safety. Each and every one of them should be honored for being able to do that.  They are heroes not for the details of their demise, but for their desire and ability to put others and the greater society before their own wants, needs, and desires. They mastered,  even if briefly,  the ability to see themselves as merely a singly important piece of a larger interconnected puzzle and allowed themselves to do their duty to the best of their ability regardless of what the outcome might be.
I don’t know about you,  but I have yet to figure that out for myself.  I am ever concerned about how the next day, week, month, and year will play out; and though I don’t fear death itself,  I do fear the “but’s” and “why’s”and “what if’s” I die before accomplishing my goals. I have yet to be able to consistently do my job solely for others’ sakes. So, I take a moment to give gratitude for their selflessness. I also take time to focus on peace so that those of service can make their work actions be of peace. 

On the flip side home: 

I have a beautiful loving husband, 2 children,  & cuddly adorable cats, that I often see only as messy. Their mess turns into an affront against  me,  that they’re somehow doing it on purpose, just to get my goat. I have great difficulty seeing the positive side of why the mess happened in the first place.  I have trouble seeing their efforts to clean up, & sometimes even the love they show me isn’t enough to override my hyper-sensitivity to my experience of the physicality of the mess. I just don’t get what screw is still loose in my brain to cause that. *sigh*

It’s on the list.  I’ll fix it eventually.  I will get there. 

Back to the weekend.  I burned my fingers grilling chicken. 

 Ian was fussy,  tired,  wouldn’t drink anything,  would ask for 3 things before I could get the 1st accomplished. Changed his mind on food a hundred times,  chased chickens,  played in his sand box, played in puddles,  asked me what I was doing a thousand times. Played “mirror mommy” telling me I wasn’t listening to him,  telling me that I should not make him do certain things, swearing at me, and yelling back. Yet, he’d turn around and do something adorable like offer to help water plants, or feed the birds,  & bringing me the bamboo stakes when we adjusted fencing. He’s 2, I suppose it’s all part of the package.

When one of the younger roosters decided he should attack Ian repeatedly, I quickly got Ian some arnica & an ice pack, and then chased said rooster around the yard with the BB gun. I fired a dozen rounds, only one of which seemed to graze his leg & cause a limp.  I gave up when he fled down the road. I was hoping a coon would polish him off, but by dusk he was back. I’m still debating whether to butcher him or not. I suppose if he attacks Ian again it’ll have been decided for me. My son is definitely more important than an obnoxious rooster, especially when we have 3 others. This time I was close enough that Ian only suffered a few scratches & bruises, but I hate to think of what could have happened. 

So then, the fencing happened because I spent all day chasing our hens and Jennifer’s goats out of my garden.  I hope that my baby flower plants survive the chickens tramping them. The goats I managed to keep from doing any damage. Anyway,  the tire planters now have the mesh fence around them, & the bigger stretch has metal chicken wire around it now.

That being said, the garden is doing great.  I had so many radishes sprout that they were choking out the spinach & lettuces. I trimmed some, pulled some out,  & tried to transfer a few to another planter. We’ll see if those ones survive. Everything else is doing great as well.  If the weather keeps this up I’ll have bumper crops this year. That is happiness. 

We only got 1/4 of the mowing done and none of the laundry- c’est la vie. Onward ho.

Now for the pretties:



Cuteness:

Flowers:

 Everything else,  bumper bean crop is the top tier (thanks to the cats eating the chipmunk).


Carrots & cilantro:

Spinach & lettuce:

Cucumbers:

Half of my bumper bean crop:

Transferred radishes: 

Mmm kale:

Squashes galore:

Hard labor weekend…

So this weekend we finished filling the dumpster.  A fair amount of stuff from under the trailers didn’t fit, but the dumpster is overflowing.  

Burned the burnables- that was fun!

 I made a new fire pit so the old one could get the metal bits sifted out. 

Trampoline got moved where the main pile of trash used to be. 

Swing moved by the fire pit. Umbrella deployed over swing.  Aquarium turned table to one side of the swing (planning on putting lights in it). Ice bucket table on the other side of the swing. The tires behind the swing will be squash/watermellon/pumpkin planters, but I ran out of steam. That’ll have to happen next week sometime. 

Gardens got planted. Some stuff from last year’s garden came back:  bulbs,  sage, thyme, a small cilantro, parsley, yucca, & a few of the flowers.  I planted seeds in new dirt for everything else. View of Gardens from the swing:

Part of the yard got mowed & general cleanup started. It feels so much better out here! This is progress.  I love progress.