Tag Archives: give love

Give each other credit.

None of us give each other enough credit.

From the office manager of 30 years, to the new chiropractor, and the massage therapist in between.

From the yogi to the cardinal, bishop, rabbi, or lay-priest.

From the owner/president, to the ceo, to the basic laborer.

From the citizens to the politicians or vice versa.

We all have skills, we all have talents, we all have good qualities, there is something special and unique about everyone.

Yet we rarely take the time to acknowledge that special moment that we all mean to someone. Often because we are too busy worrying about ourselves. Sometimes it is jealousy, feeling lack of being on the receiving end. Sometimes it is doubt in ourselves and our own capabilities. Sometimes we feel unworthy ourselves and have trouble knowing how to say or show appreciation. There are many reasons we find ourselves unable, and often they are self induced, and never mean any hurt to anyone around us.

Perception can be everything and nothing, all at once. It can uplift or drag down, all depending on one’s individual view.

But it’s fixable.

First you must convince yourself that you matter and you are special. Get your own spirits up by seeing just your best parts, and then you can see all the things to be grateful for.

Then the ah-ha moment of appreciating another stirs a desire to give back. Just follow through on that moment.


This tangent was brought to you by being the recipient of a gift today. It helped brighten my day and took a smaller stresser off of my rather large pile right now. I am very grateful for the kindness.

It made me think of the many things weighing heavy on my mind, and how just about every decision I have in front of me seems like it will hurt someone, and that is the last thing I want. I like and/or love all of those people, all for different reasons.

I really appreciate that a woman with 30 years experience has taught me enough of her job to trust me in doing it for her.

I really appreciate that I work with an experienced chiropractor, whom does his best to help everyone he knows, even if it means sacrificing his time.

I really appreciate that the younger chiropractor has lots of experience with musculature, and fitness. He has a broader perspective than many specialists do, and genuinely does his best to educate his clients.

I really appreciate that there are two spectacular acupuncturist’s, and one of whom understands a lot of my Energetic concerns, both in relation to my body and my broader awareness.

My clients too, they all are special, all unique. Some of them I can’t fix, some I only buy them temporary relief, but I always honestly give my best, doing my best to help ease their life a bit.

At my other job, I am appreciative that I can still help even with limited hours to give. I appreciate that people genuinely still care about me even though it’s been almost 2 years since I was full time there. There are so many people that impacted me and they all still come to check on me on occasion. I appreciate the learning experience I had there, and human connections I made there. They are all good people. I am grateful that the mentor figure was able to get promoted, she deserved it and worked hard to get there, I’m glad she reached her goal. I’m also glad that my impact helped the company as a whole. It’s hard to admit that some of my less than spectacular moments helped them to avoid bigger problems, but I hope that some of my best moments helped too. I really did try to give my best.

I don’t know what my near future holds, but if I could do it without hurting anyone ever, that would be my choice. I would rather be able to gift them all something special, because they are all special in my heart.


May you know where you are headed and find it peaceful. May you enjoy your time here on this earth and know it mattered to people. May you see and appreciate the best in everyone. May we all let others know they have a special place in this world. May we all find a way to make more peace and feel more love in this world. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

*The picture was taken by my 6 year old, he loves group selfies. This evening I saw he was adapting my qualities to 6 year old boy format, some for the better, some for cringe factor. I want to be a better person myself, to teach my son and daughter to reach for better, no matter what. I want my efforts to matter enough that they understand why it’s important. I want to make improvement a real tangible reachable possibility that brings good things into their lives.

What peace looks like to me.

This is segment 4 of my inspired climb up the vibrational scale this weekend. I knew that to get good things, I must focus on good things, and I used pleasant memories to do that. I’ll go through some of them here. I apologise in advance, it’ll probably be a long one, this really makes me feel good.


Peace to me feels like the private clothing-optional spiritually-open camp that Nathan and I used to frequent (kids & then Covid rules deterred that for a long while). It was so safe, and so secure, and so accepting that even at nearly 300 pounds I could lay naked in the sun. Peace is that feeling of knowing that it’s truly okay and safe to just be me, absorbing beautiful suns’ rays, no matter what that looked like to others. Peace was knowing that there were others of every body type, every age, every gender identity, every sexual identity, and many religious preferences, all doing the same thing. We were all finding immense pleasure experiencing nature’s bounty in our god given skin, being 100% authentic. The overwhelming knowing that everyone is not only safe to be themselves, but accepted as themselves, was so very relieving.

The organization that created that environment went to great lengths to ensure that it was sacred safe ground. They cloaked the land in energy so strong that just stepping foot there soothes nerves. It is so laden with divine goodness that nearly anything goes. You can literally do anything you want as long as it doesn’t create a problem needing external support (police, fire, ambulance). Even drunken debauchery was well accepted, you could participate or not, whatever you want, and everyone knew that. We knew we didn’t have to tell others what not to do, if we didn’t think it was appropriate for ourselves we just didn’t participate. If you did participate in activities like that, even the after effects were lessened compared to external environments, i.e. hangovers were lowered in severity.

Many trips to that place brought many things to appreciate. There were woods and paths to hike, naked if you so choose. There was a big pond/small lake to swim in, canoes and row boats to float in. There was a giant 4 story stairmaster called the main stairs that went from the co-ed bathouse to the ridge where events happened. There was ample camping with options to choose from. They all bring moments of joy for me.

Everytime I would get to the stairs I would pause. People would always ask if I was okay, or offer that I could do it- I could make it up/down them. But my pause was never about the physical experience of climbing stairs, even at 300 pounds I knew I could, and fairly easily, only multiple trips got hard. No my pause was appreciation. The view from the top down, dozens of half naked or wholly naked people making the trek. Beautiful sun filtering through tree’s leaves, critters scurrying along side the same staircase not concerned about the people knowing they were equally safe to just be. It was absolutely beautiful and breathtaking. The view from the bottom equally beautiful, especially watching everyone’s butts twitch in unison as they climbed steps. There was always just something so amazing, exciting and peaceful all at the same time. Even writing this I feel my words are not quite good enough for the moment I always took to savor.

The lake, it was just plain safe fun. I remember the first time a fish nibbled my toes and sent me squealing out of the water. I remember swimming, knowing it was already safe, and hearing a man yell ‘freeze’ as a water moccasin made it’s way through the maze of swimmers. We did, we all just stopped splashing, and the snake didn’t even care we were there. It swam an arms length from me, unfazed that I was floating in it’s territory, that is safety. And the big snapping turtle, someone speculated was probably nearly 100 years old because of it’s size, it never did bother us. I always felt like it would swim just out of the humans area to see what we were up to. I think the turtle found us as entertaining as we did it. I can’t count the number of hours I spent swimming in that lake cooling down from my hours basking in the sun. Every trip to camp brought one singular sunburn, often that tanned before we even left camp, I always did come prepared for that. One summer was so hot the sunburn actually was significant and my aloe didn’t cut it. I went to the herbalist that hooked me up with very expensive miracle salve, handmade for healing, and it did- quickly. One jar was enough for several self-baking disasters, and that particular sunburn, though severe, healed in hours with just a few applications of the salve. My skin was grateful.

There was the garden where I would swing, watching bees and hummingbirds do their job. A wide array of flowers and sculptures to gaze upon. The butterflies would swarm in a beautiful cluster and land on your arms, hands, shoulders, and face if you held still enough to let them.

There was a hill by the lake, perfectly round with mulberry and willow trees around the edges, called Venus Mound. We all knew the rattlesnakes had their den under Venus Mound, but if you were quiet and peaceful they would share the hill during prime basking time. It was just a matter of acknowledgement of their presence and respect of their needs too. All who were respectful were safe, and often the snakes would move to accommodate you. That was always awe inspiring for me, though I never tested that very much myself (there is a scardy cat hiding deep inside me).

The most notable experience for me though, out of all of it, was when I learned decompression and re-entry the hard way. My first trip to camp I had never been such a place. It took me a solid day to decompress and begin to feel the relief and realize just how special camp was. You see in daily life we all play roles, and often those roles seem to pigeonhole us into being or acting a certain way. All of life seems to function that way. And I had been told that people whom frequent camp have jobs in every field: doctors, lawyers, police officers, EMTs, blue collar workers, everything; and it is their only safe place, that’s why pictures are not allowed unless direct permission is given. So part of me believed that I was safe, but I’d never really truly lived an experience like that and it just sank in really slowly. After we set-up camp I changed into shorts and a tank top but was otherwise dressed like someone at the store in the summer. Then I started wandering and meeting people. There were a few like me still in civilian clothes, mostly still setting up their campsite. Everyone already set-up seemed to be nearly naked and oh my was it a learning experience. The first woman I saw bigger than me, fully naked, was hugging a twig of a transgender person. I damn near cried and retreated into the woods to hide my blush and remove my bra. Then I met some of the camp elders, showing their age, but freely enjoying camp as much as someone a third their age. And on and on it went. By the end of the first day I managed to go topless with just a sarong on my bottom half. By day two I found the freedom of “naked as a jay bird” in the trees. It was exillirating and amazing. 4 days were spent like that before pack up and the trip home. I had to really convince myself that it was okay and worth while to go back to “normal”. Once home and back to work, it felt almost painful. It took 3 days to readjust to “normal”. My spirit definitely prefers camp, and hates the low vibration of rules and regulations and people telling each other what to do an how to be. I see that, in general, society still has enough really low vibrational people that screw things up for everyone else, that rules are somewhat vital and necessary. However, I definitely would prefer a life lived the way that camp functions. People responsible for themselves allowing others to do as they please as long as it causes no problems for the whole. People openly accepting everyone as who they are, in the entirety of that sense. I look forward to days where or collective vibration raises enough to enable that.

So yes, camp to me is a huge symbol of peace, tranquility, openness, acceptance, freedom, and being 100% truly authentic to your core being. That is what I want to see more of in this world.


I wanted to add a couple more common-place examples of peacefulness and acceptance which we all experience at some point in our lives. Something that we can all reach for the feeling place of. My words about camp may be inspiring, but if you’ve not had a similar experience you might have difficulty reaching for that feeling place.

Hugs, are one such feeling place that nearly everyone experiences at some point in their life. It might be a parent to child, co-workers over a successful work event, significant-others/spouses expressing love, friends in greeting or as support, or even that of hugging a pet. What all hugs have in common is the feeling of love. It is that warm sensation that spreads from your heart. It brings similes to lips and sometimes tears to eyes. It radiates in and all around, making you feel special, supported, and safe. It’s calming yet oddly invigorating. In the moment of any hug, if you close your eyes, it is like God is holding you as their baby. You know you are safe and that the person you are hugging does care in whatever way that moment is celebrating. Even better are the hugs of unconditional love: parents consoling children and lover’s embraces. Those moments carry a love so strong it obliterates everything outside of it. Time stands still and the moment is just the people present. Nothing outside of those arms’ embrace matters and your whole being is enveloped in love. You can almost hear angels sing and there’s a sense of fairies’ sprinkles of magic dust all around. You simply know all is well and it is safe to just be for a moment, however long of a moment you choose. That moment of unconditional-love hugs, is a very similar feeling place to many of my camp memories. It is the same feeling place that God resides, and that connection with the one whom you are hugging is allowing God force to flow in and all around both of you. It is healing and uplifting. It is life affirming. It is a moment of perfection that shifts everything in your experience to a more positive place. It is your freedom to be who you are. Savor every ounce of those moments, remember them frequently. Let them help you even when you can’t recreate that experience in the now. They are God’s gifts to our memory and our thoughts.

Finally, I see children playing happily as another of those moments. It doesn’t have to be your own children, any children you know will do (don’t be a playground creep). When you notice them playing happily, really notice them. Watch their faces, see the sparkle in their eyes. Listen to the giggles and squeals of delight. In those moments children are flowing God. If they sound too loud, it’s because you are too grumbly (I know this from my own experience). Take a moment to check yourself and relax. Really enjoy the fact that they are happy. Truly take a moment to savor their joy. See if you can figure out what is bringing that joy, see if you can feel the ripple of it. Feel for the uplifting sensations, the energetic playfulness that spills forth. If you can feel it and savor it, it will bring more and similar into your experience. If you don’t have access to watching children, then try to remember some moment like that from your own childhood. Those memories can get buried pretty deep under “have to’s” and “should do’s” but they are still in your memory banks somewhere. Reach and dig until you find one and focus so intently you relive the moment. Feel how happy you were, remember how much fun you were having. Those are our blessings just like hugs. Those moments allow God to flow through us and do wonderous things. They feel good and they bring good. We all have those moments somewhere if we allow ourselves to find them again.

The more we focus on these feelings, these moments of peace, of joy, of loving acceptance, the more our world will improve. Let’s all savor our blessings hidden in our memories.


May you have good thought journeys that end up in the highest vibrations possible. May you see and feel our expansion as a collective. May you simply know you are free to be yourself in any and every way possible. May you have safe, uplifting, life affirming environments to recharge in. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do and wants you to know true freedom and safety. May you have more and more good days and find the healing that God knows you deserve.

Om Shanti

TO love and be loved.

My day started with the quote from Sadhguru with Isha:

It reminded me of the contrast between my father and my spouse. My father was the former part of the quote, and my spouse the latter.

However, it was also a focus tool on what it means to love or be loved, especially after the contrast of my last post.

If you love something or someone you wish to experience it in the fullest sense, whatever that may be.

To love, you desire to appreciate the object of attention with as many senses as possible, and especially to the fullest ability of those senses, even if it may not always be completely pleasant. Most people think of our 5 earthly senses, but for me I always include the 6th sense as well.

When I really love something my 5 senses are utilized primarily, but there is always an element of my 6th Sense being included in the appreciation.

For example with art: I feel the paper, the canvas, even the texture of whatever medium I choose. I can tell you without even thinking too hard what the smell of charcoal or paint is like. I use my sight to craft my image or sculpture meticulously. I even enjoy the sound of the brush on canvas or pencils or charcoal on paper. The only physical sense that is limited with art is taste, and that is because many mediums can be toxic, yet I have still inadvertently tasted charcoal and clay, neither were offensive even when accidental. However, my most favorite is the 6th sense. In art, I feel a sense of calmness and peace that is deeper and more soothing than most any other activity for me. There have been several times that I was so soothed by the sense of the divine that I have lost hours or even entire days riding that peacefulness as I created something beautiful.

Many of my other loves (mentioned in my previous post) can be broken down similarly, but the 6th sense is always there and always unique to the thing I am focused on. It always feels wonderful, but can carry excitement, joy, peace, soothing, it can be energizing, and even full of passion.

When you really truly love a person it’s no different of a layered experience, but the layers are unique to that person. The 6 senses with my 6 year old are not experienced just the same way that the 6 senses are experienced with my husband.

Examples for my 6 year old would be: I love hearing his giggles, I love seeing him smile, I love rubbing his back, and the smell of his hair after a bath or playing in the sandbox brings me joy, and I will shower him with kisses as long as he lets me. But even when he’s stinky, dirty, or upset, I still love my little boy. Additionally my 6th sense still feels love shared between us, that bond formed in utero that helped me communicate before I could even see him. That sense that helped him learn motor skills because of my work while pregnant. Yet moreso, I feel when he really needs mommy because of upsets, confusion, or fright. I still communicate with him without need for words. I cherish every moment of our connection.

My husband has similar but not exactly the same set. Love can be so great that even the negatives are diminished. I love kissing my S.O. fully and completely, so that even my taste buds can enjoy the experience, but sometimes they’d rather I not do that first thing in the morning. My sense of touch does not have to be limited to back rubs, and I have even had the joy of picking zits, providing healing for wounds, and caressing every inch of his body. My sense of smell has experienced the full spectrum of smells his body provides, and even the unpleasant ones are somehow less offensive than someone I don’t find love in. I have seen him at his best most beautiful, and his worst post yardwork or surgery; regardless I still love him. The best is my intense connection with him. It has waned over our 16 years together, but I still know when he’s really happy or really struggling. I still feel his love for me when he’s focused on me. I still have a connection that enables knowing what he is going to say or being able to convey my needs without words. It’s that sense beyond the senses that keeps my love for him strong. We get each other’s headaches, body aches, and even each other’s inebriation. It’s those moments I know we share a strong bond of love supported by divine connection.

The hardest for me has been the others. The ones I felt and connected with in my 6th sense, but with which I never got to experience the entirety or fullness of the rest of the senses. My body sometimes aches with desire for the rest of my senses to be filled with loving experiences with them. Yet to this day they are my enigma. I will cherish the conversations accomplished and the moments of 6th sense connection, and maybe one day either they will return or God will replace them. Whether they return or not, I know my love for them is the realness of the latter part Sadhguru’s quote. I felt them, and even being unable to fulfill the wholeness of my desire for filling all the senses, I was able to get a sense of who they were as beings. There are definitely gaps and truths waiting to be fulfilled, but even if that never comes to pass my 6th sense knew. Maybe my lesson here is that I knew so deeply that I can still love and never receive them fully. That is the height of Sadhguru’s message. To love without being able to have as my own.

It’s an odd place to be. I never expected ownership to begin with. I never expected to stake claim, as that is the premise of polyamory.

Yet I had really desired, really hoped, for the same fullness of all the senses that I experience with Nathan. Love was found in multiplicity, for that I’m certain, and I can never undo that.

Now I wish to experience the fullest of the multiple love scenario, experience the all of more than one significant other. Experience the sights and sounds, words and feel of more than one. To experience the caresses and tastes, and yes even smells of more than one; on top of that 6th sense knowing and feeling of others. It’s a layered experience, but the layers are unique to each person, and I really do wish for that with more than just my Nathan and kids.

May you see you love in it’s fullest and truest sense. May you know you love someone for whom they are and not because they are yours to own. May you understand how to love fully and completely. May you know for certain that it is possible with everyone you truly care for. May you understand that you can fully love someone and not necessarily need to experience them in a specific way. May you find that you are able to experience those you do love in the ways that feel best and right to you. May you know that your love is reciprocated. May you know that God loves and supports you in whatever you choose.

*Om Shanti

*My God given prayer “Siva Hir Su” has had some clarity through using it with my Reiki practice. Since I now understand it’s use more fully from that intuitive input, I’m using it a little more descriminantly these days. I’ll elaborate at some point soon. For now I am defaulting to more generally accepted and positive options.