Tag Archives: gratitude

Calm. Float.

Apropos; listen to “Float” by Flogging Molly :

https://youtu.be/JZKjxxciTVk  lyrics as follows:

Drank away the rest of the day
Wonder what my liver'd say
Drink, it's all you can

Blackened days with their bigger gales
Blow in your parlor to discuss the day
Listen, it's all you can

But don't, don't sink the boat
That you need, you build to keep afloat
No don't, don't sink the boat
That you built...

Sick and tired of what to say
No one listens anyway
Sing, it's all you can

Rambling years of lousy luck
You miss the smell of burning turf
Dream, it's all you can

But don't, don't sink the boat
That you need, you build to keep afloat
No don't, don't sink the boat
That you built...

Singled out for who you are
Takes all types to judge a man
Feel, that's all you can

Filthy suits with bigot ears
Hide behind their own worst fears
Live, it's all you can

It's all you can
It's all you can... Do

No matter where I put my head
I wake up feeling sound again
Breath, it's all you can

Tomorrow smells of less decay
The flowers keep this bloomin' fray
Be thankful, it's all you can

But don't, don't sink the boat
That you built, you built to keep alfoat
But don't, don't sink the boat
That you built, you built to keep afloat
But don't, don't sink the boat
That you built, you built to keep afloat
No don't, no don't sink the boat
That you built,
We all built to keep afloat

A ripe old age
A ripe old age
I'm a ripe old age
That's what I am
Ripe old age
Ripe old age
A ripe old age
Just doin' the best I can (repeat)

May miniature art piece today was gifted to the office manager. She had seen my candles quote from yesterday and said she would like something similar for her desk. We both liked the quote I chose. It only took me a couple of hours around the 2 massages I did. It’s watercolor and drafting pen on watercolor paper.

It was not perfect, but it did bring me some inner peace. Art always does that. Sometimes I have difficulty choosing what to do, but once I start my brain switches into creative zone out. It is very relaxing and that element alone was very appreciated.

I always notice the flaws because I am so critical of myself, but I appreciate that I am capable of creating these images with just my hands a couple drawing tools and some time.

I love that my mind has the ability to just switch over like that too. With all the chaos this week, and everyone trying to melt down over yet another disease, I have noticed my brain and body are gravitating to the things that calm my brain and allow my soul to float.

I told Nathan several days ago that I kept finding myself singing, even at the clinic I would hide in the laundry room to sing. I don’t need anyone to hear me, in fact that usually embarrasses me. I just needed to make music for the calm factor, and I don’t have access to instruments most of my available times. So my voice does it’s best to meet that desire. Regardless of my actual singing ability, it does accomplish the calm quite well.

I also did some beading. My lapis-lazuli/chakra-stones mala beads needed restrung because the cord was wearing thin, and I reformatted my kunzite/rose-quartz mala beads as well. That was also welcomed calm for one evening.

I am very very grateful that I know my most effective tools for centering and finding my inner peace. I wish sometimes that they made me money, but honestly when my clients are quiet and I can focus, I am able to find my calm around the table too. I just have yet to master finding my calm in the midst of chaos, complaints, or dominating sounds that aren’t music.

May you all have moments of quiet centeredness. May you feel your inner peace. May you enjoy your days mostly and find the benefits of any moments you might not enjoy. May you have abundant income and ample time for yourself and your family. May you remain healthy and happy through this challenge, but also for most of your years. Live long and prosper. Greatful, I am.

Siva Hir Su

It’s a just a virus.

So, it’s just a virus, in fact being compared to the flu quite frequently. Respiratory complications the worst symptom. We have the flu circulate every year. We have tools to treat all the symptoms even/especially respiratory symptoms. We know how to sanitize and reduce transmission rate without shutting society down. Good hygiene with oneself and environment goes miles. Self-policing coughs and other manifestations of symptoms (throw tissues away and empty your own trash, etc.) also goes miles.

It was suggested this is a ploy to shut elections down, and I sincerely hope that’s not the case. I also sincerely hope people come to their senses before homes start foreclosing left and right. I think people will when they realize if they don’t work they can’t pay bills. I hope companies will when they realize their equivalent: if work doesn’t get done then companies have to close.

Here is the deal:

  • I am grateful to be alive.
  • Repeat that.
  • I have lost far more people to cancer in my social circles than any other cause of death.
  • Pneumonia and car accidents tie for a close second, mainly because I work with old people that succumb to any kind of pneumonia easily, and car accidents affect all people of every age.
  • My husband has a heart condition. He literally could die of a heart attack or stroke any day.
  • I could die of any of them, especially cancer (see my post from last night), not to mention complications from any female reproductive concerns ranging from endometriosis to birth problems.
  • I am grateful to be alive.
  • I simply can’t spend all day everyday in fear of something only slightly worse than the flu which circulates every year.
  • I can’t afford to spend all day everyday in fear of anything.
  • I am grateful to be alive.
  • The fear itself is worse than any disease or possible cause of death (of which there are many). Fear literally eats your body from the inside out. The chemistry involved in long-term fear, anger, or any stress causes far more diseases than any virus. That chemistry has already been proven to lead to several types of cancer and other degenerative diseases and weakens your immune system. It’s probably a major factor in my own thyroid struggles.
  • I have to focus on being grateful to be alive.
  • I have to acknowledge all of the many experiences I have lived through that others died from, especially all the years I did get the flu, but also times like when I was almost smashed to smitherines by a semi truck.

We live in a global society. Learn good hygiene. Learn to help keep every environment clean. Learn to appreciate all of the many things that could have killed you and didn’t. Learn to reduce transmission without becoming anti-social. Learn to acknowledge that touching each other, especially hugs and handshakes, is worth the risk of possibly catching something. Learn that even in a hug or handshake, you can still do things to avoid catching an illness (wash hands, don’t touch your own eyes, etc.). Learn that life will be miserable for everyone if we continue to ostricize each other out of fear of the what if.

What if this really is a ploy to shut elections down, do you want our government(s) to do that? What if this is a ploy to create so much fear we all end up with illnesses far worse, do you want to fall for it? You have to police yourself and know it’s going to be alright. Acknowledge you could die of thousands of causes but that your body is resilient and you do many many things to help prevent that.

We are safer than they want us to believe. God needs us to know it.

May you be healthy and social. May you rise above fear. May you ease your system with gratitude. May you find the positive answers you seek. May you find the healing you seek. May you feel loved and supported. May you have the work you desire and adequate compensation to feel abundant. May you have less stress and more love for a healthy body inside and out. May your knowing be more like that of God’s, and help you feel safe and secure.

Siva Hir Su

8,745; 20,928; 17,416

That’s the number of steps I’ve incurred over the last 3 days. Almost all of them accomplished while also doing heavy lifting. … That’s 47,089 steps in 3 days along with hours and hours of hoisting belongings for our entire family.

We’re moving into our new home. Nathan and I doing it all alone as usual. Our Facebook friends were no help, no surprise there (have I mentioned there’s a reason I don’t do social media). The handful I direct texted or talked to in person were all predisposed. (Just once I’d love for one of the people we’ve helped to return the favor, and there’s quite a few of those.)

I could have hired movers, but that would have eaten money I could put towards finishing Anya’s bedroom, as that’s the room that was started in the previous owners’ house remodel, but not finished.

We all make choices, some are totally worth it, but still painful to get through. This would be one.

I love my family enough to ensure my dollars go toward more long-term oriented goals in making my choices. I’ll suffer the move to make sure my daughter’s bedroom is beautiful, and to her desiring, in the near future. It’ll also ensure windows get replaced sooner than later (as discussed before the offer was made). It also ensured I was able to get area rugs and a few pieces of furniture replaced that sorely needed it ages ago.

I am appreciating that I have the ability to even make these choices. I’m also appreciating that I find myself less worried about the dollars I’m spending. There is a knowing I’m making the best choices for my goals, and I have the finances to accommodate, even if it gets slightly tight at certain points in my monthly and yearly cycles. I’m still no millionaire, a long ways from that in fact, but I’m super appreciative that I’m no longer a few hours of work from food stamps. I’m ever so grateful that I’m much less worried about making my bills each month, and haven’t had to seek financial assistance from charities in several years. There could be more in my experience, but my gratitude for God’s help is immense because I have experienced far less for more years than I care to count.

Last night a church group was going door to door, passing pamphlets and preaching on repentance. She asked me if I was having fun moving and I just said no.

As she left I muttered to God that she has no idea how many years of penance I’ve experienced and if she really cared for others in her neighborhood she’d offer to help instead of preaching when I’m working my ass off. On their second pass through she had the kids that were with her help us for a few minutes. I thanked her and then proceeded to thank God with every box I lifted. I knew he had heard my grumbles, and that’s what matters.

I know that I’m part of the reason that others never return the favor, but I’m just not certain how. I know I’ve come to expect it, as this situation has been a repeat experience, so law of attraction is probably as major factor. However, I’m not certain that’s the only reason. I wonder if I am just not warm or friendly enough, or if my long hours of work that has been so beneficial to unburying financially, caused others to give up on me. I just don’t know for sure why, even though I’ve done heavy lifting for others, I never see reciprocation. It just is what it is.

The one friend that I know, who has already done wonderful things for me -my massage therapist of 7 years- lives over an hour away now. So, I didn’t have the heart to beg her for help knowing she’d have to drive so far to be of assistance. One day I’ll have more valuable friends that reciprocate my actions.

Probably long before that day, I’ll have a beautifully landscaped yard, Anya’s room will be finished, windows will be replaced, and we’ll have painted our home in beautiful bright hues of the whole rainbow. I even want to do at least one mural, though I’m not sure where yet.

For now my focus continues to be work and home. Things I already have, which I’m very appreciative of and grateful for, that can be improved upon. Once we are fully moved and settled, I’ll refocus on those things I started a while ago, books I’m reading, CEU instructor certification, artwork, etc. There is plenty for me to do to fill a whole lifetime, and perhaps at some point in all that God will surprise and delight me further.

May you all be satisfied with your choices, even when the consequences are less than desired. May you see and acknowledge your improvement. May you see God’s guidance and support in your life. May you have an endless list of things to be grateful for and appreciative of. May you see plenty to focus on in the here and now. May you have things that you can improve upon without too much difficultly or resource consumption. May you know that God is listening and offering replies. May you know you are loved and supported.

Siva Hir Su

Acknowledging self

Even though I have my moments where I feel like I’m a hot mess, the last few days have helped me to see more of my value.

My down slump was caused from pre-cycle hormones bumping up against bitter cold weather and fighting off a head cold gleaned from a co-worker. Despite a nasty combination, I only went into hiding one day.

I blasted my immune system with my classic combo of Vitamin C, Colloidal Silver and Olive Leaf. In larger frequent doses it always works, and I don’t have to deal with the unpleasant taste of oregano. Today I only have remnants of sniffles.

All while this was going on I still managed to do my job. Still managed to go look at homes for sale, filed for mortgage approval, and found a possible home that we’re crossing fingers will go through and become ours soon. (Prayers welcome).

In the process I discovered that a government debt I paid in full in September, which had already been removed from my TransUnion records, was still showing in Equifax. I submitted a dispute which was returned as invalid because there was an unrelated debt agency saying I still owed it.

When did credit bureaus start favoring debt collectors? I’m sorry, but bureaus like TransUnion and Equifax were supposed to be unbiased agencies that made sure information was accurate.

If I tell Equifax a debt has already been paid and removed from my TransUnion report, and that was the basis of my dispute. Then why on Earth would they take a third party debt collection agency as correct. They should have verified with TransUnion, or the original debt which is a government agency. It boggles my mind that my written statement of it having been cleared including necessary pertinent information was completely disregarded.

So today, I fully intend to ream someone verbally to ensure that shit gets fixed. 2 months after the fact I should not be having to fight for Equifax to report correct information. At what point is our government going to hold Equifax truly accountable for all the damage they keep perpetrating on the American people. Data breaches, incorrect data processing, favoring 3rd party agencies, this shit has to stop. Equifax needs disassembled. Just sayin’.

Anyway, rant aside, I also had moments of self acknowledgment yesterday working on clients. Between discussions including my birthing stories, a client thanking me for the nudge to change her diet (which worked completely), and even moments where I spoke on random knowledge I have (home improvement and things like conductivity of certain metals). I was able to step back momentarily and really see my intelligence and how it helps others and even myself in a wide array of ways.

It’s not often I even see that part of myself being so self-critical, but yesterday not only did I recognize it, I even took a moment of self-appreciation. It felt good.

I also had a moment of great appreciation for my work environment right now.

I had just gotten a regular adjustment (Tuesday or Saturday- my days are blurring together again) because my neck and shoulders were tight. Tight almost always means an adjustment is called for, so that day the owner-chiropractor adjusted me. It was indeed needed and felt very relieving. I was appreciative.

But like all humans I occasionally do something stupid, and yesterday morning was as such. In my rush getting into the car to head to work, I clobbered my head on the doorframe of the car. I literally heard and felt the crunch in my neck, and thought ‘so much for that adjustment I had, I’m going to regret that later’. By the time I arrived at work I conceeded I did need another adjustment. I admitted my folly and asked if that would be possible and the other chiropractor said certainly. My schedule didn’t actually allow for time to accommodate it until the end of the day, but once accomplished I felt great again. Bonus, the acupuncturist gave me 30 min on her Beamer and I felt spectacular. It was very needed and I’m very grateful he was able to accommodate second adjustment in less than a week.

May you all have moments of self-awareness and self-appreciation. May you all have adjustments you need and good health. May the universe be kind to you when you have your human moments of folly. And may you have good credit and agencies that diligently report accurate information.

Siva Hir Su

Gratitude is good.

Today I express gratitude for my health.

I gave 2 very deep tissue massages intended to fix knees and related woes, then walked 10,000 steps and did 20 minutes of weight lifting. All of this and I still did 2 more hours of lighter massage.

The lifting let me see that I had mostly maintained or improved my strength despite having slacked on going to the gym for almost 2 years. I had only lost ground on the leg press by 5 pounds, resulting in a 195 lb lifting capacity. Everything else either maintained or went up. My arms were where I saw the increase, and triceps had gone up by 10 pounds since last lift. That was a happy dance moment. All these deep tissues are building my strength.

I’ve also brought all of my blood sugars all the way back to normal, even with sugary holiday foods. The adjustments I’ve made have fixed my biggest concern. Maybe that’ll mean the weight will finally start dropping.

I also express gratitude for my children and family time.

Yesterday was Halloween, All Hallows Eve, All Saints Day, Samhain. My children dressed as a lady demon, The Flash, and a ladybug. We trick-or-treated briefly and then spent time with friends including kids of same ages. It was a good time full of fun, and of course Katherine causing mischief.

Additionally, I express gratitude for downtime and holy days.

This coming Sunday will be my first bonified day of downtime in a month. I worked 2 Sunday’s and had the wedding in between, so this Sunday is do what I want *squeals with delight*. What does that mean… I plan on working on the dome design some more, maybe doing some beading, and we discovered the local temple is holding their Diwali festival this Sunday (I was afraid I missed it because of working last Sunday), so yep I’ll be there. I look forward to a celebration of unity and oneness. Right here at home.

Furthermore, I’m grateful for my husband keeping all the parts moving despite the oldest child being gone a lot for sleepovers and other fun stuff with friends.

Finally, I’m extremely grateful for sick burns of cheeto head and humor in general. (Nathan shared these with me by text from his Facebook, since I’m not on Facebook to do a direct share.)

May you find humor, enjoy your family, have restful enjoyable celebrations and plenty of downtime. Finally, may you see your good health and all your efforts paying off.

Siva Hir Su

Dome on the Range

Atira Home Dome

So this week has brought ups and downs. I had a lot of emotional roller coaster riding, which the acupuncturist was uncomfortably quick to point out the cause. (Am I really that transparent?) It was a combination of hormones from trying to sync up with the rest of the female staff, in addition to liver heat and congestion I stirred up from doing cupping on my arms. Yea… not. As TCM practitioners, they were very helpful with some herbs for the emotional side, and needles for the physicality, and I took extra walks for the anti-inflammatory benefits. I can say after several days I am doing better.

I did also get a fair amount of wonderful artwork in, both digitally and by hand.

I was able to complete the first shirt design I posted about previously, and with a minimum of edits. Mainly they had me change font once, take out a few of the contour lines in the figure, and adjust colors. In my book that’s an excellent start for only having done 5 commissions in the last 12 years. They then requested a second shirt and a business sign, which I have drafts pending for. I am super appreciative of not only being able to play with my design software, but for having gotten the commission work as well. It feels really good to be doing a variety of things that I am good at.

I told Nathan that I always was really good at giving people what they asked for. Mainly because I don’t like having to rebuild or make significant time consuming changes. I would much rather ask enough questions up front to get the idea, and hit the mark as close as possible on the first try. Fonts are almost always where the edits come in, as I have so many fonts that I tend to aim for more creative, and sometimes the plain fonts are more desired by the customer.  The customer is always right, and their font preferences will always win.

Regardless, within a day or two I will likely clear my 3rd design approval, and that is in addition to working full time as a massage therapist. That is happy dance worthy in my book.

Now pile on top of that having had enough time to do some coloring and I am feeling much more buoyant. I chose a mandala and colored in between clients. The day I started it, I was wearing the colors that I started the mandala with- blues and lavenders. The office manager thought that was amusing, and after she pointed it out, I did too. I kept coloring and began to realize I had been coloring in the chakra palette. Blues and violets being throat, third eye and crown. Pinks and greens being for heart chakra, and yellow for solar plexus. By that point, having accidentally accomplished that much, I decided to finish the mandala in appropriate progression.

Here are the results, which I’m super happy with:

20191009_1554192054716829049856828.jpg

I also accomplished some really amazing massage work this week helping a client with multiple-decades-old scar tissue and what she thought was an underdeveloped scapula. After some very intense myofascial release, I was able to show her that not only were her shoulder blades the same size, but that the damaged shoulder was capable of laying flat. I also helped not one, but two people, with major constriction in their hips. It was a very good massage week.

My final note of upswing is in the image I began with. It is the design for my dream dome home. I’m working on turning my sketches into drafted images. Obviously, I’ve barely gotten started as it was a low priority. I won’t be building it next week, and unless a miracle happens, probably not this year. So, it falls last on the list after all other computing and design work wraps up. Considering I’ve literally only devoted a few precious minutes to it, I think I have a great start. I am so looking forward to finishing it.

I leave you with the following blessings:

May you find joy in your work and time enough for other joys.

May you have days filled with beauty, and the emotional fortitude to breathe and see it.

May you have more than enough, and ample miracles in your life.

Finally, may you see your strengths and your own inner beauty and light.

Siva Hir Su

Giving Thanks.

First: I wanted to update everyone. I finally went ahead and registered my domain as myhandsaregod.net  The original format with “.wordpress.com” does redirect you to my new domain, but just in case you have any troubles in the future I wanted to reference the information directly.

Beyond that I wanted to write a post of thanks. Giving thanks is not just for the winter holiday season and is a good thing to practice regularly. I am far better than I used to be, but often find that I still have lapses in gratitude. Today’s instance though, started as a mental giving thanks for the vacation that I so much enjoyed, while my body was engaged in my returning to work. It felt so good to acknowledge for myself that I wanted to share my thoughts.

Thank you God: the divine, the universe, Shiva, etc., and my greater spirit self.

  • Thank you for helping to guide me into the journey of saving and planning for such a big and wonderful vacation.
  • Thank you for putting people and situations and resources in my path to help accomplish that.
  • Thank you for helping me to find and keep my alignment as often as possible to continue to make positive changes in my life.
  • Thank you for helping me to do my job well and to save the resources I earned.
  • Thank you for helping others to find and maintain their alignment as well.
  • Thank you for enabling me to do healing work and to flow energy where people need it most.
  • Thank you for continually sending me ample work, which ensures I always have enough.
  • Thank you for all your blessings and assistance in my life, may I be able to remain in alignment as much as possible to do good things on your behalf.

Thank you to my family (including mom, brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew).

  • Thank you for helping to create the wonderful vacation I was able to experience.
  • Thank you for being in alignment and seeing my need for that rest.
  • Thank you for helping with the resources and planning of the trip.
  • Thank you for being there with me to experience the beauty and fun and relaxation.
  • Thank you for just being in my life and being caring family.
  • Thank you for being you.

Thanks to my human self.

  • Thank you for hanging in all the times that things got rough.
  • Thank you for doing your best to keep yourself healthy.
  • Thank you for working so hard to bring 2 beautiful children into this world.
  • Thank you for teaching yourself how to change your brain.
  • Thank you for healing yourself.
  • Thank you for learning and practicing how to relax.
  • Thank you for finding and staying in alignment as much as possible.
  • Thank you for focusing so well that the resources were saved and the trip was accomplished.
  • Thank you for allowing yourself to rest and relax.
  • Thank you for finding the beauty and enjoyment.
  • Thank you for what you do for others, and for helping others to relax and release pain.
  • Thank you for just being you and all that you are and do.

 

There’s more but I forgot the words and I need to do 2 more massages today, starting in 20 min…. To keep moving…

May you all find your moments to give thanks and find gratitude, and may you all have wonderful beautiful journeys that include enough rest and relaxation.

It does feel like home.

It’s not my home, and at the moment I wouldn’t have a clue as to how to attempt to make it become so, but this place is so beautiful. It makes me know that my dream of Atira is possible, and though I am in mountains near the ocean, is not the same mountains I’ve seen in my dreams of Atira.

Our cabin is so far out and so far down in a valley that even the new cell tower a mountain over is not providing any more than spotty service. My phone will only do calls and texts without WiFi. The main Lodge does have WiFi available now which wasn’t available in previous years, but it’s unsecured and at certain times of the day everyone wants to partake in it.

I have not minded any of that inconvenience because it’s so beautiful here. It also helps that our “cabin” is as spacious as our actual home in KC, just formatted differently.

We went to Acadia NP on Tuesday and I hiked for hours stopping to let kids play on Sand Beach. I think we covered about 1.25 miles of coastline out and back, but there was abundant rock climbing to be had, so I’m sure my steps were more like 4 miles, maybe more. We made it to Thunder Hole from Sand Beach before my shoulder and back started screaming from having been wearing both Katherine and a backpack full of diapers and snacks. We decided to call it quits on walking/hiking but returned to our van and made several more stops for viewing pleasure. By the end of the day I’d gotten a significant sunburn that was mildly uncomfortable, so I spent that evening coating myself in lavender and aloe to heal it up.

The teens went with my brother and his wife on an epic 4 mountain hike, covering over 5 miles of trails and taking nearly 6 hours. Anya said she loved the views, but it was a bit much for her, and was nearly in tears asking if she could have just a little Beach time before we drove away. We took her to otter cove just as the tide was coming in and she was happy as clam.

I told her we’d head back at least once before our vacation was up and she was much relieved.

That is today. We’re due to pull out in an hour or 2 to go ride the Margaret Todd ship and explore Bar Harbor which apparently also has a beautiful sandy beach to walk on. My brother explained at low tide the beach connects to a small island with waking trails. I’m so looking forward to it.

My brother’s wife explained that you can’t see it all in one trip, they’ve been coming here for one week of every summer for 7 years and still haven’t done it all.

For now I’ll leave you with some pictures of Acadia and our cabin at the military campground in Great Pond. May you all have beautiful experiences that feel like home.

Cabin & surroundings:

Acadia:

Finally, after our busy couple of days, I enjoyed drinks and dinner with my family during a rain shower from the cabin screened in porch. I ate and drank too much that I shouldn’t have, so felt the aftermath this morning, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself last night. Sunburn and all. Happiness.

P.S. I’ve felt my connection very strongly over the last couple of days, and hoping it means something super wonderful. May you all feel your connections of clarity and bliss.

New day, new week.

“Everything’s gonna be all right.” -Bob Marley

Yesterday, I did some art, spent time with my family, and had a fairly relaxing good day, mostly at home. It was nice.

The art was nothing spectacular, just a little coloring to make friends with my new space. But I do have an idea for a charcoal drawing I may start working on.

The time with family was mostly ok to good, but Ian is still struggling with misbehaving. We discovered that he poked holes in the head of our djembe drum that Nathan was gifted over a decade ago. After ordering a new head and refreshing my memory of how to re-head the drum, I had a discussion with Ian.

He told me that a certain someone we used to live with was in his head telling him to keep causing trouble. I explained that that particular person was very manipulative and found satisfaction in causing chaos in other people’s lives, and that was why I chose to disconnect and move on from them. I told him he had to make that choice on his own, but that consequences would increase for him if he chose to keep listening to that person. I explained that just because he could hear them, didn’t mean he had to do anything that they said. That they choose to use their abilities for negative reasons, but that he could learn to use his for good. I also stressed that I would think he would choose to do the things that we request, especially since we genuinely love him and have his best interests at heart.

It was at that point that I understood why I kept being told that Archangel Michael was around me. I sent several prayers throughout all of yesterday requesting that the Angels protect all of us, and help my children remove energetic connections to those people. I also sent prayers that they help me forget that person and enable me to forgive the damage done so that my cords would permanently dissolve.

My decision on that person is: I don’t believe they have it in them to heal, I know they are so addicted to several things, including the drama of creating chaos, that they don’t even see their own patterns. We all have things like that, but this is just an extreme case. Regardless, even if they did try to change I don’t think it would stick and thus I don’t foresee ever being able to spend any significant time around them again. So, I do wish and pray for compete disconnection for myself and my family, I do want that to become a series of unfortunate events that I ultimately learn to forgive myself for enabling, and them for continuing to create.

Regardless, I went on to tell Ian that I love him, and that Nathan and I are doing our best to give him tools to control his thoughts and behaviors to improve things for himself. We want him to do well and he just needs to practice the things we’ve been teaching him. I compared it to his writing practice and explained the more he does the meditations and other tricks we’ve given him, the more they will work and things will get easier and easier for him. I gave him 2 days to work on resetting and focusing on practicing those tools. Essentially 2 days free pass, as long as Nathan and I see him putting effort into doing better. I pray that those 2 days, and the near future afterward, the Angels will protect him from intrusive thoughts and mirror anything like that back to the sender. My child needs that fresh start.

Nathan rounded out the day taking Ian to a huge new playground on my way to work. He had a blast discovering the new fun things to be had.

I give thanks that Archangel Michael is protecting me and my family and thanks that each new day brings greater clarity and resources to improve our lives.

May our improvements keep compounding for exponential growth.

Bonus our family vacation is approaching quickly. My mom has agreed to go with us, so there will be a slight detour to Iowa to pick her up and drop her off, but then we’ll have 7 solid days in Great Pond Maine and Acadia National Park the last part of July and first couple days of August. As the time draws nearer I’m finding myself increasingly more excited. I am so looking forward to the distance, fun, exploration, R&R, and possibilities of the trip. I give thanks for everything that has aligned to enable this experience, including house and pet sitters, and finances. Thank you God.