I started it on a break at work, and finished it at home. It helped me to feel relief.
The relief stemmed from the feeling response of knowing that I am not alone in attempting to reach for, and educate others to reach for, making this shit we are stuck in just a little bit better. I do not hold hope for any sweeping changes in my lifetime, as in many respects I have watched the consumer economic models exaggerate decay, destruction, disease and discord which was started in my parents generation, if not slightly before. The negatives have been fought and countered with many positives, but have not been undone, and we have approximately a century of history and non-progressive “progress” destroying our humanity.
Yet this documentary brings the ray of hope that others see the challenges and see the elements of positive change. Everytime I watch something like this it helps me feel better about my role and my work in this world, which too often I would like to leave. I will keep doing my best and maybe humanity will surprise me before I die. Perhaps, since I already practice as many of these concepts as I’m able, it might one day pay off and help me and my family.
Atira was supposed to have a farming co-op like the Hawaiian farmer in this documentary has accomplished. Maybe one day. I can hope.
May you find your own personal health. May you see your own place in the interconnectedness of our universe. May you understand the roles we all have, and how we affect one another. May you see your route to healing and know for certain that your are getting there. May you have evidence of positive changes inside and outside of your singularity in the matrix. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.
Warning: story contains icky moment, still helpful.
Last night I made my favorite dish. Saag paneer.
We had a large amount of fresh greens from our garden and a pack of frozen spinach supplied enough extra to make a large family sized pot of Saag.
I substitute Cilantro/corriander and Sumac for the peppers since I can’t eat them. I have no measurements for all the seasonings, I just kinda know, pinches, dashes, big dashes, scoops. Then I adjust by taste testing, the list includes: garlic, onion, ginger, black and white peppercorns, salt, turmeric, cardamom, fennel, and Garam masala.
I also use Pumpfu instead of traditional Paneer. The Pumpfu is amazing because it has the same texture as paneer or tofu, but it is made from pumpkin seeds. Thus you skip the dairy of paneer and you skip the extra Estrogen and allergic reaction of soy based tofu. It’s great.
Anyway, we still serve my adjusted Saag with white rice, and I just try not to go too crazy with my rice levels. Did I mention it is my favorite dish? Healthy and tasty all in one!
Because of that I ate more than I normally do for dinner. I had two liberal servings, with my supplements and some green tea.
After dinner the dog wanted out of his kennel to join me for relaxation, and I went downstairs to release him. On the way back up the stairs I had an “oh shit” moment and had trouble breathing followed by an extreme desire to puke. I ran to the bathroom and did just that. Saag is only tasty one direction BTW.
Afterwards I had spasms across my abdomen and back and realized that my diaphragm and upper abdominals had seized up. After Nathan rubbed on them for a few minutes they calmed down.
I hit the realization that my over-eating combined with climbing the stairs had triggered the vomiting. It seems that my stomach has officially shrunk. I’m not used to being able to eat large quantities anymore.
I’m not certain whether to be thrilled over the accomplishment, or disappointed over the ramifications in regards to my favorite foods.
See I have spent years eating lots of food, and only the last 7 have I made concerted efforts to rein in my eating habits. So, to now acknowledge that my stomach is physically incapable of eating a large amount of even healthy food, is quite the feat. I skipped needing gastric bypass surgery all together. Yea!
So now that I have an awareness of my accomplishment I now need my tongue and brain to get on board and accept that fact. It doesn’t matter what I put in, as much as the quantity of it. I am now a nibbler.
To make up for last night I took a much smaller portion of the leftovers with me to work for my lunchtime snack. It was still quite tasty.
May you have good easy realizations of your progress. May your tummy cooperate with you, and may your tongue and brain always know when to stop. May you enjoy the things you love and be able to keep them down. May your progress always be worth it. May you enjoy life mostly, even and especially when certain elements manifest changes like this. May you see that you are doing the things that you desired. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.
So, this is going to be a double post day. I had two distinct topics I’ve wanted to write on for a couple of days now, but not had the time to do so. This morning I have off since it’s a holiday weekend, but I do work this afternoon at the fill in job. I’m going to attempt to get both posts done before needing to be at work.
This topic: Health journey
My morning has started with editing a pending shirt design, and then spending almost 30 min inverted.
Beyond the amusement factor, especially once cats tried to sit in my lap, I was trying to solve my back pain.
It has returned, but to a lesser degree. It had gone away, and I thought it was safe to resume working out. I did a mild run/walk only 35min, my minimum I aim for to trigger the anti-inflammatory chemistry in my body and brain. Then knowing I’ve had muscle spasms and back pain went to do yoga to stretch my hip flexors. I was doing good, and felt like things were releasing. I went to roll to my side to sit up and it spasmed again. Ouch.
I tried rolling the other direction and nothing. Okay.
Somewhere the imbalance of muscle tightness is causing muscles to spasm in a very particular way. I still feel like psoas and/or iliacus is to blame, but it’s manifesting in a less usual pattern. My obliques on the left are super tender and serratus posterior inferior has a trigger point flared in response to the primary concern. It’s just a huge mess.
After my yoga last night I foam rolled, but that only gets the superficial and 2nd layers of muscle. Then I had Nathan work on me to start chipping at the deeper layers of muscle. It helped but didn’t solve the problem.
So this morning I inverted to stretch the deepest layers.
That was more beneficial. I still have yet to release a band of muscle that I can feel, but can’t access by myself and I’m having difficulty explaining to my husband how to get to it without agony.
I’ve done it hundreds of times for others, and know the particular angle and way to apply pressure to reduce pain levels, and know it’s possible. Yet when you’re the subject and the teacher at the same time, it’s crazy.
It’s something like this: deep breath, gesture to approximate area, as he jabs I start telling him up/down/left/right/closer to the spine/etc in between gasps for air because of intense pain. I have no idea what angle his hands are at or what his posture is, or how to tell him to adjust what he is doing for it to hurt less. I’m just having to grin and bear it.
It’s been consistent enough I even considered it being kidney related. Yet if I had a kidney infection or stone it would be worse pain that would be consistent regardless of position or movement. This definitely is affected by movement and sometimes is barely noticable.
So I’m doing a salt bath and will have Nathan take another stab (pun intended) before I head into work. Hopefully my teacher half will do better so my subject half feels better. I’m also working with those Louise Hay affirmations for back pain.
In the other news I’ve been doing really well nutritionally. No chocolate, no grains, and extremely minimal legumes (black beans twice), even my nut/seed intake is way less and no walnuts or almonds.
Pretty much every day looks like this:
I still have breakfast shake and a 2nd shake later around lunch time (minimal protein and mostly green powder in coconut milk). Then dinner varies, but is all veggies like this:
So calories are as minimal as is safe. I’m not quite to the 300 calorie guy I saw interviewed in highschool, but my activity level is much higher than his was.
What is different is all the supplements that ensure adequate nutrition and boost the processes I need healing in.
RX Armour Dessicated Thyroid- low dose 1/day, first thing on empty stomach
2 OTC allergy meds- 1x/day
Really good probiotic (refrigerated), 2/day
3 ways to get magnesium, 8-10 pills distributed through my day
Bromelain and Enzyme complex for digestive support and to kill unwanted ickies- 1x/day first thing AM
Turmeric for anti-inflammatory, 2 pills 4x’s/day
Estrogen and Progesterone OTC partly for Thyroid function and partly for known hormone imbalances 1 dose/day
Vitex, helps balance hormones, 3/day
Saw Palmetto (4 doses/day) and Hyaluronic Acid (1 dose/day) to help repair my skin as I lose weight
Iron- I’m a woman and it helps thyroid function 1/day
Good quality prenatal- it’s the best ‘covers all the bases’ vitamin I have access to 1 dose= 1 pill 3x/day
Calcium: half tab, I only take it 2-3 times a week to aid magnesium absorption, otherwise I get too many leg cramps
Evening Primrose oil good source of GLA and helps hormone balance
Maca helps balance everything and give energy boost, 3/day
Omega-3 Fish Oil, aids brain, anti-inflammatory, 4/day
Chlorella, chellator for detox, 6 at dinner with some source cilantro
Vitamin C, helps immune system and absorb iron, 1/day with the iron
Cinnamon, Bitter Mellon, Vanadium, Gymnemea Sylvestre, Nopal Cactus, Berberine, ALA- all help with glucose management and can help heal pancreatic damage, 1 to 4 doses/day depending my needs except Vanadium- only ever take that 1/day
Finally, Keto BHB, mineral salts shown to help shed fat. I started it when everything else was very slow to show improvement, I’ve only taken it for 5 days, so we’ll see. 3 at bedtime.
So essentially, what I’m not spending on food has gone to supplements. Most of them I’ve known for a long time and I’ve essentially added back everything I did while pregnant. Pricy, but worth the results. The only one I’m unsure of is the new BHB, hopefully it stands up to is reputation and becomes worth it.
My goal is to heal my body and eventually not need any of this except the super healthy food.
So for those dressing recipes:
Half pint blueberries
Tsp Apple Cider vinegar
Stevia to tase (1 to 2 servings)
Blend with immersion blender and bottle it
Tsp mustard powder
Tbsp or 2 vegan soy free mayo
Tsp Apple Cider vinegar
Stevia (sometimes need to add when I get carried away with the mustard powder)
Water (~3 oz)
Dairy free Coconut Cream Ranch is another I use, but I make it following a recipe already found online. I also use a clean poppy seed dressing that’s available in grocery stores here in KC. Plus there are several green goddess type clean dressings to be found that are AIP friendly.
May you enjoy your multiple salads. May you accept eat to live over live to eat. May your health improve. May you heal your body. May you figure out solutions for your pains. May you feel good mostly. May you feel better in every way. May you know you are supported. May you have exactly what you need.