Watch “Poets of the Fall – Temple of Thought (Unplugged Studio Live)” on YouTube
I imagine that my Shiva would say these things to me, it’s how I feel that divine connection. Yet, more so is my own inner being. My spirit is really where I find my own sense of safety and security and love. The world has yet to provide that for me, so I must rely on what is found within.
But perhaps my world will have a happy ending yet. Especially the kind of happy ending where you know there’s more to the story, where there will be a sequel with the rest of the story.
I realized that, today, as I commented about liking happy endings in movies. I like the happy endings where you know the lovers get together, and live happily ever after. Where the sequel would be about building home and family and community and sharing love with everyone in their lives. Where they take fun filled journeys and discover all of the beauty in this world. Where they get to rest from their more challenging endeavors. Those are the happy endings I enjoy so much. It’s why to this day, I will watch reruns of Hallmark movies that I’ve already seen dozens of times.
Those are the stories I wish filled my real daily life.
Instead, I find myself in conversations about people expecting happy endings to massage and that just pisses me off. Fortunately, I’ve only had 3 such run-ins with that in my dozen years of practice. Every time I taught them a lesson. I’m the massage therapist that if you lay on top of the sheets buck naked, and I’ve never seen you before, I pull out a towel and cover your naughty bits and proceed to give you the deepest deep tissue possible. Except for the fact that I’m so damn strong, and beginning to think it’s near impossible, I’d rather hurt myself teaching someone like that a lesson, than send them on their way unscathed. It gets my goat that people think they can pay massage rates and expect to be jacked off. I say people, because 2 of the 3 were Male, the third was female.
It infuriates me because since the sex trade is kept illegal, people masquerade as massage therapists to provide sex services, usually the business owner is the pimp, and it’s hardly concentual. It further infuriates me because both trades are severely undervalued, and because the “perps” are often the one demanding sexual favors, but the punished are the women that feel like they have no other choice than to provide those services, or worse yet are forced into doing so.
First: a happy ending implies that everyone involved is respected and valued. Throwing yourself in front of someone and demanding sexual favors is disrespectful. Unless that person is being lavished in thousands of dollars they are far from being valued. So, it is far from a real happy ending, quit calling it that. The real name is pig manipulation, and the pigs are the ones that belong in jail. So as long as I’m a massage therapist anyone that tries that with me will walk out hurting and having been charged full price including upcharge for deep tissue. That is my happy ending in that situation, especially since 2 of the 3 were hurt so much they terminated the appointment early. Serves them right.
So, for now I will take those small victories, focus on my inner being as much as possible, and look forward to possibly having a true happy ending to my current challenging journey. I look forward to relief, joy, bigger and closer family, and lots and lots of love.
May you all have respect and find that you are shown your value. May you all have your loving happy endings, and find joyous journeys. Finally, may you see justice prevail in this world and may all the pigs run and hide.
Siva Hir Su.