Tag Archives: happy place

Sounds fun.

Beating the drum of what sounds fun. Working on trying to find me.

Dancing sounds fun, not jumping around in a bar, no, actual dancing. I’ve done the bar thing, I’ve never actually gone dancing. Dancing sounds fun, real dancing sounds like love. I don’t even know where to go dancing here in Kansas City.

My hammock is a sort of fun. It’s comforting and relaxing. I spent time there today, right up until my skin started to feel scorched.

Swimming is fun, I’d love to have a real pool at ready access. As it is, I swim as much as I can, based on finding time to accommodate going somewhere else to do so.

Hiking is fun, it has been a long time since I’ve been hiking, but I really like it. The kind of hiking where you need good shoes or boots and the trails take you places you’ve never seen. We did that  in little spurts when we went to Maine/Acadia with my one brother, I relish my pictures from that trip. Before that, the last trip for hiking was about 14 years ago with 12 Indian-American IT professionals, that was a trip full of great fun, where I got to see Mount Rushmore for the first time. Before that, I was a kid, and we did a decent amount of that when I was a kid.

Playing with clay is fun. It’s really messy because, well it’s clay. I’m also not very skilled at ceramics, so that makes it extra messy, but it’s still fun, and I’ve not had opportunity since college.

Making costumes is fun, I should clarify- when you’re only making your own. Once you have a whole family to make them for it becomes daunting, especially because no one can agree and settle on one choice with enough time to actually accomplish them. I haven’t even tried this year because previous years burnt me out and recipients weren’t happy with them when I did finish them.

Laying on a sunny beach is fun, but riding in a boat is even more fun. I’ve been on boats about a dozen times in my life. There was family day for a Coast Guard visit- full Cutter experience, 2 big sail-boat rides, going into the submarine at Navy Pier, visiting the boat in Boston harbor twice (kid + 2019), and I can remember 3 pontoon rental/rides (one of which was gifted by a good friend)…. There’s been 4 canoe trips with school & girl-scouts, and a couple paddle boat rides at Gaea. I could definitely use more boating in my life.

I like spelunking too. Mammoth caves were way cool, but even the tiny Maquoketa Caves in Iowa were fun too. I like the slimy interesting shapes and squeezing through a little gap into a big cavern.

Horse rides are awesome, I love horses. Again I only have a small handful of those experiences. The trip to Mount Rushmore was one. There was once with girl-scouts. There was a family vacation in highschool. And there have been 4 horse and buggy rides with Nathan (and family).

Camping is great fun, and I’m even taking about tent camping. See my family growing up wanted the camper and the amenities, but everything was always stressful, set-up, tear-down, and trying to fit 4 or 5 large people in a tiny space. Lots of yelling and cursing and people wandering off to find their space. As an adult I made friends with tents via Nathan and Gaea, and though set-up was still a little stressful, it was always much shorter and there was way less stress in the experience, an hour of decompression was all that was ever needed to find peace and contentment. But we haven’t been camping at Gaea since before Anya’s mom died and Ian was born (same summer).

I love sitting around a fire, but add drummers and Meade and it’s even better.

Festivals of any kind are usually fun, but I especially love festivals where some rules are left behind (Gaea, RenFaire or similar).

I love live music of any kind. I’ve seen James Galway, Paul McCartney with the U of I marching band, orchestral performances, quartets, quintets, piano recitals, heavy metal, Hypnogaja, America, Kansas, Dropkick Murphys, Kongos, and several other popular bands in large outdoor settings like City festivals, plus who knows how many cover bands. I like all music, and especially live.

I like playgrounds that are shady, it was fun when I was a kid and it still is when I go with my kids. There’s nothing like butt burn from a slide with no shade, yuck! But I’ll slide all day long if it’s shady.

Halloween was great fun up until a year or two ago. Last year Covid killed it, and the year before cranky kids did. But I really really love all things Halloween.

I like gardens, big small, Arboretums, all sizes. Flowers are beautiful, and going to big gardens I usually associate with vacations, in fact I haven’t even been able to see all the ones here in KC. It’s my thing, but my husband and kids don’t like them.

I miss Ren Faire. Here in KC pre-covid it was amazing. We could spend a whole day there and not see everything. And the biggest challenge was only spending what was planned! I always wanted to buy everything.

May you have good things to focus on and which help you find your inner voice. May you find ways to do those things you love that stays kind to your budget. May you know those around you support you in finding fun. May you feel like you have plenty of rest even when maximizing fun time. May you enjoy life mostly.

Om Shanti

Patio Bliss

I just spent the last minutes of my evening under a canopy of twinkle lights. We put them up over the front patio today. It took $26 for the pole and eyebolts at the top, 30 min to set the pole, and about an hour climbing up an down the ladder. It is blissful. Nathan just went in to start his dialysis treatment and I’m going to do my meditation before going in.

May you have peaceful and blissful experiences in/at your home. May you love your days mostly. May you have excellent meditation moments. May you find things to appreciate easily.

Om Shanti

Almost

I aimed to finish my front patio today.

Nathan and I, put the locking-sand down and wet it to lock it. About an hour later I moved pots into place and proceed to begin constructing the rough hewn furniture set. I did not get all of the furniture done before running out of steam at dinner time. I managed to complete the side table and one chair.

Our chainsaws are not intended for lots of large heavy work, so I had to switch back and forth several times, and let them cool to avoid burning my fingers. Actual construction happened inside our garage to help me stay cool after a short break inside with air conditioning.

Considering the tools available to me, and the fact that it was 84°, I think I did an awesome job today. I will finish the other chairs on another day.

Once the entire set is done I will coat them all in a tick layer of something like ‘Thompson’s water seal’. It will protect them for as long as desired.

My watch did not accurately count my steps though. I took it off to avoid ruining it with chainsaw vibrations, like my last watch. So instead, I tucked it in my bra and it counted a bit less than 6000 steps. I’m certain that’s off by at least a couple thousand steps.

Regardless of steps, I was very happy. I kept repeating “I have a front patio now, with furniture and pretty flowers! It’s amazing!” I’m so very appreciative.

Kids also had fun on their slip and slide now that it’s finally nice enough to use it.

Here are the pictures:

Now I soak in an Epsom salt bath to attempt to solve my achy crunchy body, with some much needed rest and rehydration to follow.

May you have good productive days off. May you find things to be joyful about and may your kids have fun in the sun this summer. May you find life good even when doing something that is physically taxing. May you see the wonderful things in your experience. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Good dog.

I arrived home early today. A slow day at work meant heading home just after lunchtime. My goal was to finish my taxes. I nearly did, with only 2 things left to complete tomorrow.

While I was working on finishing that, I opened the window for the beautiful weather to filter through. Upper sixties and sunny left my pets wanting sunshine as much as I did.

Buddy sat in the window and Zen alternated between trying to look out around him and trying to hug me. Eventually I gave in and helped Zen up into my lap. It was cute, so I wanted to share pictures.

May you find completing your taxes to be easy even when self-employed or a contractor. May you have ample time to spend enjoying glorious weather this year. May you get to snuggle with your pets regardless of their size. And may you have plenty to be grateful for. Above all, may you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do and that any desired healing is full and speedy.

Om Shanti

Home

Anything that feels bad is not me.

Sometimes that is hard to remember. Sometimes it take a few tries before it starts to register. Sometimes I have to repeat it over and over, again and again. However at this point, it always does, sink in that is, and my trajectory is a shorter path in general than it used to be. My average shift time is much shorter than it used to be.

At one point in my life I was mostly down with an occaisional up day. Then I met Nathan and had more ups than downs. Eventually my rough days began to glom together and I would have long patches of rough emotional waters, with some fairly consistent even keeled moods in between.

Nathan pointed out, that at one point it was fairly common for those patches to last 2 or 3 weeks. Then Abraham Hicks started to make sense to me. I was finally in vibrational vicinity to comprehend the messages, but not completely.

Much frustration, anger, and many excuses later, I genuinely started trying to figure out the law of attraction. I asked for things, and several of them have slowly manifested over the last 5 years.

The online relationship that stung so much, was somewhat helpful to my journey. Despite the ghosting, games, and lies, I did benefit. It lifted my spirits at times, sometimes in a moment of neeed, but sometimes it took a good mood to spectacular. It also was encouragement enough to focus better on how I was feeling. Everytime that I would get hung up on that person I would talk it out, or write it out and get myself into a place of feeling better. I also, was able to notice when I was in alignment, not just in my own self, but with the person I was conversing with. I could feel the rightness or wrongness in what was being focused on. It was a powerful learning tool to fine tune what I had already started to work on.

Regardless as to whether my prior efforts were the cause, or if it was because of the connection found, my efforts began to improve. What would once have been weeks to climb out of a negative hole, became days, maybe a solid week. Then, despite being upset over being ghosted repeatedly, my refractory period shrunk even farther. I was able to skrink it to 2-3 days, then even to 1-2 days.

Now this week I was able to climb out 3 seperate times in less than 2 hours. Of courese the triggers did not seem as bad as some of my past triggers, but one definitely was, and everything is perception to begin with. What mattered was that even though I fell into emotional distress, I remained calm and civil to others, I was able to communicate about necessary topics, and as soon as I was able I withdrew and fixed the emotional side of the scale. That is simply huge to me.

Only someone that has had a similar journey would truly understand what that is like. I went from chronic suicidal depression (mainly triggered by undiagnosed thyroid concerns and a latent chronic viral infection) to being able to find my own internal happy in less than two hours, and I’m even able to control the medical needs as well.

Yes, it took me years to accomplish, but in those 15 years, I sought external help twice. Once in Iowa from the regional psych department that tried a few medications over a period of about 3 months (none of which sovled it), and once here in KC utilizing a low-income sliding-scale therapy service for 12 of a possible 14 weekly visits. Beyond that, I figured out the thyroid concerns, I did my own research and labwork, I took my care into my own hands, becasue none of the MD’s I tried were willing to put very much effort into their own jobs.

I have literally and figuratively kept myself alive and helped myself to find healing in a most spectacular way.

Now I am finally beginning to see my efforts paying off.

I have manifested several things that I desired, I have a stable home, a decent family vehicle, and my body is skrinking (I feel like that last one is picking up speed). I have yet to do a new round of labwork, but based on my daily physical experience, I suspect that those results should also be improving. If they aren’t yet, I’ll chaulk it up to lag time, and this recent development of feeling detached and having minimal desires. The former being a side effect of the law of attraction, and the latter possibly producing some sort of stasis. I’m honestly not sure though, it’s just such a different feeling place to be in, I’m not sure of any intrepretation yet.

Part of me feels like not really wanting anything might take me too far from the moving leading-edge, and potentially cause my own croaking experience. On the other hand it could really be my best personal description of Abraham’s ideal free flowing space. I simply don’t know yet, all I know is that when I am there I feel good inside, and it feels so good that literally nothing else outside of me matters too aweful much. It is such a peaceful, content place, and I just want to be there all of the time.

So far, I have noticed a few small moments with people, which imply that my time feeling like that may be helping in other ways. I have also noticed that my Reiki skills seem to have gotten a boost, because I am feeling the energy flow more strongly.

Otherwise, it just feels good, and my inclination is to meditate frequently to encourage the feeling. Lately at work I have been taking every opportunity to sit staring at my salt lamp, and it is wonderful how quickly the peaceful sensations spread, starting at my 3rd eye and migrating though my body to crown and heart.

If I described the sensations as if they were palpable with the 5 senses, it would do a severe injustice to how it actually feels. It truly is a sense of peace that slowly makes it’s way through every cell and gradually dissolves all my aches and crunchy spots. The longer I have to do this, the more of my body is able to fully relax and realign. It is simply amazing to me, especially acknowledging where I came from.

I look forward to more of those moments, and whatever results come from them, no matter what that means in this phyical 3-D life ecperience. Whether it means feeling at home in my here and now of every moment, or if it means finding my eternal home.

May you have peaceful moments of healing. May you easily find your internal happy place as frequently as possible. May you experience genuine divine healing and see the results of that show up quickly. May you have your ideal body and your ideal life and find that detachment is really a good easy place to be. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti