Tag Archives: heal the world

Reaching for me again.

It’s been a challenge to stay focused on my inner light lately. I have support from those around me, but especially from the acupuncturist. I’m also relying heavily on music, solfeggio frequencies, and mantras. They help, but it’s a continuous process.

I also feel like I’m having to relearn alignment with body changes.

I’m fasting more than ever due to external influences, it seems like the only times I feel really good are when I have not taken anything extra into my body. It’s like food is one thing too much and the toxic levels get too high. The acupuncturist has helped with inflammation and mood imbalances in these shifting times.

And I have made friends with yoga so much that, I’m now striking poses while working on people to attempt to right my pelvic imbalances. I am struggling to correct pelvic tilt and spread now that my hips and tummy are not as heavy. My happy medium, perfect alignment, seems to be fleeting moments when concentration lands specifically on righting my hips. And that is nothing to mention the number of audible joint adjustments that I’m able to hear just from shifting my pelvic region or legs. Unstable is a good descriptor.

Meanwhile, my thoughts center mostly on kicking out that which isn’t mine, be it energetic or actual toxins in my bloodstream. I feel like I have an overabundance of toxins of both kinds lately and I just need them out.  So I focus on toxins being eliminated from my body, my kidneys and liver working well, and energy that isn’t mine being grounded and shielded, at least until relief is felt.

When I am in a more relieved state I do my best to keep it that way by focusing on what is me.

I am a beautiful, human woman. I am strong and intelligent. I like music and laying in the sunshine. I like……. I love everyone around me, always, but even when they don’t return it. I love my pets and my family. I love ….. I appreciate my home and my less stress work. I’m grateful that mostly we have enough. I am thankful for making it through rough times. …..

You get the idea.

My thoughts are more and more on one of these two veins, and less and less on anything else.

Yesterday, I had a moment where one of my power-drains became evident. Someone I am connected to was focusing on the wrongness in the fact that there is only one option, and it’s being forced upon people even though it isn’t doing what was promised anyways. The gist is why don’t people see that the limited being forced, is the problem, and that there could potentially be many solutions if that was allowed, and I don’t disagree. Beyond the fact that it seems very questionable in a “it puts the lotion on it’s skin if it wants to live” sort of way; I personally believe there should be multiple options in this mess and that we all should have the right to choose. Even with one option we still should have the right to choose. That is basic human rights and our freedom, which has been promised to us here in America for 200 years.

However, in the moment of my experience yesterday, it was clear that because my love was being given to that person, and they were in turn focusing on the negative, it was creating a massive drain on my energy and it felt so intense in the moment I thought it would cause me to die if I don’t find a solution. I literally got cold and started shivering from the experienced energy drain, and I was sitting outside in my hammock in near 80° weather. It was very intense and somewhat scary.

As I was verbalizing my thoughts to get them to stick better energetically and hopefully override the experience, my son explained he knew how I felt. He has apparently been having very similar moments and feeling the same things. He told me that he had tried saying some of the same phrases but that they don’t stick well for him. I told him I’m having the same trouble but we have to keep practicing and trying new phrases to find out what works well enough.

I must figure this out quickly to protect my children.

Unfortunately, I know that western medicine is too busy trying to protect their failure to actually focus on producing real solutions. Bonus, no doctor I’ve ever been to, has helped, and that was before energetics and Covid threatened my life. It just doesn’t really leave me any hope that they will help now. I’ve been to the doctor more the last 2 years than the previous 2 decades, yet nothing has improved by their efforts or measures. It’s just not worth my time anymore, and if I’m going to die because of Covid aftermath, I’d rather not waste my time and energy on the medical system anymore. A singular-sighted system, with a fallible injection, trying to serve diverse masses based on mostly-white-male-averages and with absolutely no backup plan, all while dealing with a new disease mutating at an exponential rate (no other disease known to man has done that BTW), is not worth investing anything into.

So, off food, a fraction of my supplements are making it into me these days, doing my level best to keep up with the Energetics, reaching for solutions for me and my children, and maintaining my focus as best as possible to find as much alignment as possible. That’s the short of it.

May you have easy transitions in this time of global change. May you find that all changes in your life and in your body are managed easily. May you see love and support all around you. May you know that you’ll get through this and eventually clear they other side okay. May you know that change is inevitable and sometimes it’s grander than others. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

My view of Covid

I have been told by Nathan to write about the symptom view of Covid because he swears I have given him a better understanding of how to fight it off and get better. This is that post, and it might end up being long, so I apologize for that.

Covid has all of the physiological symptoms that the news has discussed. However, there is one major symptom that no one has addressed, yet I have watched it in my clients, my friends, my family and myself. It is the main factor that makes me believe it is a chronic infection like my Epstein-Barr battle, essentially becoming a low grade background issue until it wins enough to flare again. It is also the main reason I distrust the system to produce any real results, because if this is happening to those I am connected to, and myself, it is also happening to all medical professionals that caught it early on. It makes it hard to survive let alone fix the problem in a permanent way.

What the hell am I talking about?

Covid has a mental health effect, which seems energetic until it is already winning.

That darkness that I have referenced lately is a part of the disease. It is why I have gotten so focused on prayer and all the positives I know exist. It is also why even though I need to let out the negatives to be able to move past them, I am wary of going into detail knowing my brain is playing tricks on me. I want to be wrong about anything negative, I honestly hope every negative ‘premonition’ I’ve had is false.

Keep in mind any disease wants to live as much as you do. It doesn’t really want to kill you because it knows if the host dies it also does. However, if you get too well, it will also die. It wants you somewhere in the middle: alive but miserable. That is where it flourishes.

So to that end Covid copies your inner thoughts and dialogue enough to confuse you and cause you to distrust your own thoughts and intuition. It causes fear. It leads you to do whatever contributes to enabling disease. It makes you tired and makes you want to sleep as much as possible. It makes you want to eat unhealthy foods. It makes you want to not exercise. It makes you think you are too weak to do otherwise. It makes you want to do all the wrong things and convinces you that the good and fun things are too much effort. It maximizes every weakness that you have and uses them against you. It scares you, angers you, frustrates you and leaves you feeling like anything good or enjoyable isn’t worth the effort.

My mom was raised military, and fortunately raised me to have the awareness that sometimes you just have to. Sometimes, if you know it’s the right thing to do, you just have to make yourself do it. That sentiment has literally saved me battling this disease.

I’m going to give multiple examples from my viewpoint as well as Nathan’s and a few of my clients. (Sorry for the lengthiness.) I’ll mark the beginning of each with an asterisk to denote one example from another, in case the description takes multiple paragraphs.

*I was in the middle of a massage last week, trucking along great and feeling good. Suddenly I felt weak and tired, seemingly out of nowhere. I started repeating “I’m stronger than this, I have plenty of energy” after a few minutes of that the weakness subsided and I was back to full functioning.

* I knew I needed to get back into my exercise routine and forced myself to go. All the while my brain was trying to tell me I didn’t have time, I should be at home catching up chores, or making dinner. Then once I got to the gym, it was like the weakness returned. I felt like my body weighed tons and it was so much effort to just move. Again I kept repeating “I am stronger than this, I have more energy than this, this is not mine, I have endurance and I am healthy.” Eventually I felt the effects of the exercise kick in and the negatives stopped, my strength and endurance returned almost immediately at that point.

*When I had the negatives come up about someone I care for and suspecting suicide, I acknowledged it could be the same thing. That maybe it was creating a scenario to confuse me and cause fear. It was just close enough to my inner dialogue, and of dialogue when I do get genuine psychic messages, that I wasn’t sure. I literally began sending prayers of healing and it began to loose impact. Then I started repeating “Bring the light to the source of the darkness. Heal the darkness.” While visualizing a candle banishing a dark cloud like a scene from the show ‘Supernatural’. That combination enabled me to clear the other side and find my stability again.

*I had a moment where I knew I needed to do things to support the household but I just wanted to lay around. I had to convince myself to do the things that needed done and in gaps between things I chose to cuddle with my kids watching their shows, instead of sleeping the day away. I made myself find the compromise and keep moving and doing and it worked.

*I have had moments where I get super tired out of nowhere, or I’m tired when I first wake up. Those moments it simply doesn’t make sense at all and I know something is off. Every time that I recognize it, I’m able to talk myself back to feeling energized and we’ll rested.

If I don’t recognize those moments they snowball very fast and lead to crash moments where my emotions get the better of me. If I crash emotionally then almost every time I also begin to feel unwell. Fortunately once the sensations of being unwell kick in I know I missed an early battle and I fight twice as hard in every way (thoughts, foods, supplements, activities) to pull out of it.

* I have had massive cravings for things that were my last items to be eliminated due to addiction or denial. I crave chocolate and sweets and breads and all the carbs. I know that I am healthier without them, and feel much better without them. When I loose the battle and consume something like that, I notice in a big way that the negative loop gets even stronger and even harder to fight. Yet when I manage to talk myself out of them I feel great. When I go several days without them I feel so much clearer and more focused and like I am able to stay in front of the symptoms better.

*Long periods of rain have been a trigger for these thoughts and a general feeling of unwell. This year has been particularly rainy for the Kansas City area, having had well over 20 inches of rainfall. I noticed every time it rained for more than 3 days I would be fighting harder and longer to kick the negatives and mildly sick feelings. Initially I thought it was my mold allergy, and chalked it up as such for quite a while. Yet the last time we had such a rainy streak the mold count had dropped due to prior heat and I was still facing symptoms. I now sincerely feel like it is the negative loop of Covid preying on my dislike of prolonged rainy weather, especially since it doesn’t happen when it is short lived rain. I have no dislike for intermittent rain storms because I know they help plants grow. Short periods of rain are not a weakness for me.

* I have had many moments where in a gap of available time, I was faced with the reality that I needed to do one of several things and indecision hit me. In those moments I would acknowledge that the indecision was going to mean I didn’t accomplish any of them. Once I realized that, I would pick the easiest thing to do, and especially if it would accomplish a moment of self-care for me. Once I started the activity of choice I would begin to feel relief in more ways than just what that activity accomplished normally.

* I explained this a week or two ago, but when Nathan was sick and sleeping every day away, I hit a moment with him where I kinda verbally kicked him in the ass. I told him that if he didn’t start making himself do things and eat that he would just waste away and die. My conversation with him was the nudge he needed and he began to slowly improve. He made himself do what I said and it worked.

* Nathan has admitted that photography, his love and joy that started in highschool, has been a challenge because his brain has been trying to convince him it isn’t worth the time and effort. He can expound on that himself, but I’ve noticed it isn’t just the photography, is all the things he once enjoyed.

* Nathan has talked about his walks and how on one hand he knows it will help and that he has regained enough strength to do so, but on the other hand he feels weak and powerless. He says he has to talk himself through every step, and push himself just a bit more each time. Yet they are beginning to enable him to get back to normal and they are even helping his blood pressure normalize.

*My one client that has really bad long-haulers because he had Covid before and after being vaccinated, has told me similar things about wanting to sleep all the time and having to talk himself into getting up and doing things. He has also commented that everything seems futile and like he doesn’t know why he is here still. He had a minor work injury recently and commented that his brain tried to turn it into something much worse, he literally had to convince himself to take care of the bruises and get care for himself. It was a challenge to just function and process the incident. He has also commented on a lack of desire to even go to work, but knows he has to, so he talks himself into that daily as well.

*Another client that has had Covid is nearing retirement and she has to convince herself daily to keep doing her job and stay on the plan she laid out for herself several years ago. She fights a desire to just sell her house early and run away to some distant place to retire and lay around doing nothing. She says that isn’t her, even once she retires she had a huge plan to travel and see places she’s never been. She still wants that, but every day seems to be more and more challenging to stay on track. She’s constant having to work at making it okay.

So because of all of those examples, which really is the top of a huge iceberg of things I’ve noted and discussed with people, I have come to my understanding which makes the law of attraction push and Abraham’s constant nudging make sense.

I generally feel like every time I have a moment of my own weakness or my own dislike of something, Covid uses it as launching ground to regain a foothold on my mental health. If I don’t compensate quick enough and do something right and good and/or enjoyable then Covid tries to regain strength and reflare. That being said I have only had one instance of true full reflare with the Delta variant that didn’t show on testing, and it only managed to give me that 2 week sinus infection. I feel like I have mostly managed to keep it at bay and keep control of it, but my goal is to eliminate it all together. I am perfectly okay with pulling up high enough that it dies. To that end I simply know I must think my way out of every weakness I carry. I must logic myself out of fear, anger, frustration and every other negative that impacts me as frequently as possible. I must connect to my inner being and feel the difference between my inner knowing and that darkness of untruth as much as possible. That is how I stay ahead of it and it is how I feel better and find healing. It was the path before COVID-19, but now it is imperative to stick to it every moment of every day, because it is the battle ground where Covid easily overtakes your mind and creates more dis-ease and disease.

Abraham and others have been harping on that concept for years now, and it all makes sense now. The other side saw this coming and tried to warn us and give us the tools. If you know the tools then you better be using them, it’s your chance at survival and your chance to thrive. If you don’t know the tools, then you better learn them quick. Anyone that doesn’t keep up will eventually perish, this is a wicked disease that will eat you from the inside out because of your weaknesses and negative patterns. You must heal yourself, medicine cannot do it for you when this mental space is the driving force.

May you know your weaknesses and overcome them. May you understand the patterns of disease. May you see exactly how to heal yourself for certain. May you have evidence that you are on the right track and winning the war. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Heal first.

I’m a slow writer because of dyslexia and I only have 30min to convey what I need to say. I apologize for any typos in advance.

Om Mani Padme Hum … The jewel in the lotus. Your heart sparkles with the jewel of healing. Love yourself for surviving it all. Love yourself for knowing you did wrong and wanting to make it right. Love yourself for doing your best even when traumatized and fighting disease. Love yourself because you matter to god. Love yourself because that is the way to heal everything, inside and out, top to bottom, and all around. You are special and even when you’ve done something horrible there is always a way to heal and make amends. That is our purpose here to make amends for worngs from as many places as possible, even and especially when it is our own misdeeds. Make it right and love yourself even more for doing so.

Heal the world.

Heal our bodies.

Those that survived deserve healing.

Everyone alive deserves healing in whatever that means.

Heal my mystery person. I know they didn’t mean to hurt me, and I know the darkness they carry isn’t theirs. They didn’t deserve it to begin with. They deserve to heal.

Heal my brother, I love him. Our childhood was rough and I wouldn’t have made it through without him. I know we have both hurt each other many times over the years and I hope he forgives me because I know I forgive him. He was traumatized more than I, and he managed to survive and have a family. He deserves healing as much as anyone.

Heal my husband. I love him too. He is my light and my love and has always been there for me when I needed loving support. He deserves to be fully healed.

Heal my mom and dad in whatever way that means. They did their best and I forgave them years ago. I love them. They deserve healing.

Heal the system to actually help people the ways that matter. We need answers and fixes for disease damage. We need treatments that first do no harm, and the system needs to put those treatments first and cover them as much as any treatment. There should also be balance and equality in what is offered and covered, if Viagra can be covered for men than abdominal reconstruction should always be covered for women.

We are alive and breathing in this moment. This is our chance to try again. If we all work together and focus on what is needed then we will overcome.

I have had a week of low backs and hips, everyone that has been on my table has struggled with it in some fashion. Feeling safe and secure and like we can move forward is at the heart of that problem. Heal everyone so that they know it is safe to move on in Whatever that means for them. Heal them so that they know they are supported and secure in themselves.

Heal every ion, every atom, every molecule, every cell and organ of every living being in this world. Anything that isn’t truly alive can be transformed into something helpful. Nothing is created or destroyed, but all can be transformed into their best selves and heal.

I call all the archangels, I call of Christ, I call on Shiva, all the divine beings and great masters from all time. Hear my prayers, hear all of our prayers. We deserve healing and we deserve help and now is the time to do so. We are reaching for you help, let it be so.

May we all know that we are loved and supported by the divine. May we all survive this shift. May we all heal and live better lives. May we all know we are loved and forgiven. May we all see the light and allow for miracles in everything.

Om Shanti

Peace to all in the universe.