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Anything that feels bad is not me.

Sometimes that is hard to remember. Sometimes it take a few tries before it starts to register. Sometimes I have to repeat it over and over, again and again. However at this point, it always does, sink in that is, and my trajectory is a shorter path in general than it used to be. My average shift time is much shorter than it used to be.

At one point in my life I was mostly down with an occaisional up day. Then I met Nathan and had more ups than downs. Eventually my rough days began to glom together and I would have long patches of rough emotional waters, with some fairly consistent even keeled moods in between.

Nathan pointed out, that at one point it was fairly common for those patches to last 2 or 3 weeks. Then Abraham Hicks started to make sense to me. I was finally in vibrational vicinity to comprehend the messages, but not completely.

Much frustration, anger, and many excuses later, I genuinely started trying to figure out the law of attraction. I asked for things, and several of them have slowly manifested over the last 5 years.

The online relationship that stung so much, was somewhat helpful to my journey. Despite the ghosting, games, and lies, I did benefit. It lifted my spirits at times, sometimes in a moment of neeed, but sometimes it took a good mood to spectacular. It also was encouragement enough to focus better on how I was feeling. Everytime that I would get hung up on that person I would talk it out, or write it out and get myself into a place of feeling better. I also, was able to notice when I was in alignment, not just in my own self, but with the person I was conversing with. I could feel the rightness or wrongness in what was being focused on. It was a powerful learning tool to fine tune what I had already started to work on.

Regardless as to whether my prior efforts were the cause, or if it was because of the connection found, my efforts began to improve. What would once have been weeks to climb out of a negative hole, became days, maybe a solid week. Then, despite being upset over being ghosted repeatedly, my refractory period shrunk even farther. I was able to skrink it to 2-3 days, then even to 1-2 days.

Now this week I was able to climb out 3 seperate times in less than 2 hours. Of courese the triggers did not seem as bad as some of my past triggers, but one definitely was, and everything is perception to begin with. What mattered was that even though I fell into emotional distress, I remained calm and civil to others, I was able to communicate about necessary topics, and as soon as I was able I withdrew and fixed the emotional side of the scale. That is simply huge to me.

Only someone that has had a similar journey would truly understand what that is like. I went from chronic suicidal depression (mainly triggered by undiagnosed thyroid concerns and a latent chronic viral infection) to being able to find my own internal happy in less than two hours, and I’m even able to control the medical needs as well.

Yes, it took me years to accomplish, but in those 15 years, I sought external help twice. Once in Iowa from the regional psych department that tried a few medications over a period of about 3 months (none of which sovled it), and once here in KC utilizing a low-income sliding-scale therapy service for 12 of a possible 14 weekly visits. Beyond that, I figured out the thyroid concerns, I did my own research and labwork, I took my care into my own hands, becasue none of the MD’s I tried were willing to put very much effort into their own jobs.

I have literally and figuratively kept myself alive and helped myself to find healing in a most spectacular way.

Now I am finally beginning to see my efforts paying off.

I have manifested several things that I desired, I have a stable home, a decent family vehicle, and my body is skrinking (I feel like that last one is picking up speed). I have yet to do a new round of labwork, but based on my daily physical experience, I suspect that those results should also be improving. If they aren’t yet, I’ll chaulk it up to lag time, and this recent development of feeling detached and having minimal desires. The former being a side effect of the law of attraction, and the latter possibly producing some sort of stasis. I’m honestly not sure though, it’s just such a different feeling place to be in, I’m not sure of any intrepretation yet.

Part of me feels like not really wanting anything might take me too far from the moving leading-edge, and potentially cause my own croaking experience. On the other hand it could really be my best personal description of Abraham’s ideal free flowing space. I simply don’t know yet, all I know is that when I am there I feel good inside, and it feels so good that literally nothing else outside of me matters too aweful much. It is such a peaceful, content place, and I just want to be there all of the time.

So far, I have noticed a few small moments with people, which imply that my time feeling like that may be helping in other ways. I have also noticed that my Reiki skills seem to have gotten a boost, because I am feeling the energy flow more strongly.

Otherwise, it just feels good, and my inclination is to meditate frequently to encourage the feeling. Lately at work I have been taking every opportunity to sit staring at my salt lamp, and it is wonderful how quickly the peaceful sensations spread, starting at my 3rd eye and migrating though my body to crown and heart.

If I described the sensations as if they were palpable with the 5 senses, it would do a severe injustice to how it actually feels. It truly is a sense of peace that slowly makes it’s way through every cell and gradually dissolves all my aches and crunchy spots. The longer I have to do this, the more of my body is able to fully relax and realign. It is simply amazing to me, especially acknowledging where I came from.

I look forward to more of those moments, and whatever results come from them, no matter what that means in this phyical 3-D life ecperience. Whether it means feeling at home in my here and now of every moment, or if it means finding my eternal home.

May you have peaceful moments of healing. May you easily find your internal happy place as frequently as possible. May you experience genuine divine healing and see the results of that show up quickly. May you have your ideal body and your ideal life and find that detachment is really a good easy place to be. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Sometimes Dreams are Just Dreams

That was my afternoon and I thought of the serenity prayer as a result.

I spent all of my working hours thinking about things that would be really nice to experience. Followed by, it’s okay though, I am alright regardless.

It felt good to just let dreams be dreams. To acknowledge that the likelihood of any of it was improbable, but that it would be amazing if it weren’t. I focused on all the good things I wanted to see and hear, things I’d love to have others do or say, places to go, things to do. Then acknowledged over and over again that regardless of any of it, I am okay and will be for a long time to come.

Sometimes dreams, especially daydreams, are just a tool to feel good.

I even acknowledged that maybe my childhood dreams of Atira were just that. It was me dreaming up things that made the world a better place, because my world didn’t feel that good. Atira was me wanting to feel loved, and feel supported. Atira was me wanting to feel like an important part of something, like I mattered, and like I could go and do fun things and help people. Atira was abundant and fun and friendly. Atira was safe strong homes compared to our trailer home. All of the things missing in my childhood were embodied in my dreams of Atira.

And so, I sat today and acknowledged the many elements that I have accomplished. I have a safe home. Thanks to the clinic, I do have more financial abundance, but I also help people daily. I work with friendly people both in staff and clients. I am more supported than ever. I could use a little more fun in my life, but it’s not exactly out of reach either, just some logistics and rearrangement needed. Many of the pieces I was reaching for in my dreaming of Atira are now a part of my life.

The pieces that aren’t might eventually come to fruition, but then again they might not, and that’s okay. My family and I are doing okay. Things could be better, but they could definitely be worse. I also spent a long time thinking of how things have been worse, and appreciating the good things I now get to experience.

I stopped at a store on the way home for a few items needed for dinner. I walked in, found them, paid and left. Quickly, easily, and without much thought (my brain was on these thoughts). It was a stark contrast to days spent buying meals with food-stamps trying to get the right item that would be covered and literally counting pennies, nickles and dimes for anything that wouldn’t be covered. Did you know that toilet paper isn’t covered by government assistance programs in Kansas City? I have to assume that applies to most or all of the U.S. Yet, now I don’t have to do that. I no longer have to count pocket change, and most of the time I buy what we need regardless of brand or cost, and there is no concern for rules regarding what is okay to purchase (a really good thing since I have all the food allergy concerns). I have purchase freedom, and most of the time enough abundance to get what is desired or needed. There’s no Tesela car yet, and clothes still mostly come from thrift stores, but at least I can keep everyone covered – did I mention I’m really good at finding the good stuff. I also live in the best home I’ve ever had, and though some might call it average, I think it’s beautiful. I have running water and we no longer need the 10 mile treck for a truckload of well water. We have central air and heat, and aren’t freezing around a wood stove because of poor insulation.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I really do appreciate what I have, and how far I’ve come. Every aspect of our lives is better than some of our worst periods, and for that I am truly grateful. I do see improvement in many ways, and even if my dream community never happens, I am okay. I know each day I live is a blessing and an opportunity to keep working on myself and keep aiming for better.

When I got back in our van to finish the drive home, God validated my afternoon. The 4 songs that played were as shown below. I am living the best version of my dream that is possible from where I stand. One day maybe I’ll see my Atira over the rainbow.

May you know that you are okay, and that sometimes dreams are just meant to help you feel better. May you see your own progress and appreciate how far you’ve come. May you know that you are doing better and that each day you live is a blessing and another opportunity to reach for better. May you see the things you wished for in your current experience. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Cartoon Energetics

I wanted to write a bit about how I’m impressed by current animated experiences. It seems that screen time is more frequently being produced by people with a higher awareness of our expansive world, and I’m very appreciative of that.

That being said, my thoughts on this topic originally started because of watching “She-Ra” with my kids. It is imperative that I acknowledge most of the elements in the current “She-Ra” series were also present in the original “Masters of the Universe” series from the early 80’s, and merely got a face-lift to match current real world concerns.

So, what am I talking about?

I am talking about the element of cartoons that addresses the magical portion of our life experiences. I am talking about the elements within cartoon stories that address how to utilize the energetic world and God force.

For example, in the 2018 She-Ra, Adora channeled her magical She-Ra self, first by holding the sword up and saying the right phrase, then the crown appears with it’s shiney jewel, and then the sword lights up with power, which triggers full transformation. However this is just a slight update from the 1980’s “Masters of the Universe” series.

In the original series He-Man and She-Ra both raise their swords and say the correct phrase and convert fairly instantly. Yet, She-Ra still got the shiney crown and jewel, but He-Man turned barbarian. Both still became stronger and superhuman.

I personally am very glad that the new series updated that moment. Mainly because the original implied it was barberous for men to use magic, but grandeur for women to use magic. When, as in the new version, gender has nothing to do with it- I really appreciate that. I would also argue He-Man might have done better with the crown activated. You see that, to use real God force energy, we all must activate our crown and third-eye first.

God force can flow, and cause some fairly magical results. You will never see the real version look the way it does in those cartoons, and it won’t enable you to hoist a castle like He-Man did, but it will do things for you that you can never do just as your plain human self, and it can make you stronger than usual.

The Reiki that I practice daily with clients utilizes that God force energy I’m talking about, and I have seen it do amazing things for clients, especially in regards to their muscles. But it has to be used properly or it can cause problems.

I do have to activate my crown chakra and then my third eye chakra to get the energy flowing, just like She-Ra. It feels warm and fuzzy and wonderful. I utilize specific phrases, which are essentially prayers in Japanese (which is why english speakers often refer to them as symbols, if you aren’t used to seeing/reading Japanese they might as well be), but that too is just like She-Ra. Once the energy is flowing, I use more phrases to tell it what to be or do, just like when She-Ra changed her sword into shield, rope and many more useful things.

It really is so similar that I knew the cartoon makers were either well informed or had experienced energy work. Especially since these particular elements apply to any version of energy work, even Healing Touch which uses biblical prayers and phrases.

So where do the problems come in?

Just like when Adora was “trying to learn to be She-Ra”, things don’t always go as planned. She accidentally turned her sword to a vase in training, and sometimes it didn’t deploy when she needed it. Even though She-Ra was already a part of her, she didn’t have full control and couldn’t rely on it. Eventually that worked itself out and in the end she didn’t even need the physical device that primarily functioned as a sword. She eventually channeled every bit of all of it, out of thin air, to do absolutely wonderous things.

Energy work is the same way. I’ve had moments where it didn’t deploy when I needed it (usually because I was too fatigued or unfocused). Additionally, if it isn’t used properly, I’ve seen it do all kinds of things. I’ve seen people drain watch and clock batteries, make lights flicker, and accidentally cause plant overgrowth. All because they were not using energy work correctly. For you see, activating your crown and third eye, tells God that you want to do good for God and only use divine energy for the task at hand. That ensures that you don’t pull energy from your environment and drain batteries. It also can help with the sensations for clients. Those that are sensitive to EMF frequencies tend to have dizziness, nausea, and other weird responses to environmentally sourced energy. However, those same clients tend to notice God force in the best ways and often know instantly that you have a divine gift (though rarely say anything unless they’ve been to another practitioner already). As for the plant overgrowth, it tends to be from a lack of focus for the practitioner. If you aren’t focused on the client and let your mind wander too much, you essentially over-water your own environment, and anything in it can benefit some. It’s not a horrible thing, but if your goal was to help a paying client, then you didn’t do them full justice.

So, yes She-Ra really impressed me with their depictions of utilizing energy for good deeds. One day we may have a world full of She-Ra’s. For now the strength I glean enables me to work longer hours, use more pressure than the average massage therapist (without doing harm), and occasionally I take advantage of it’s benefits for hoisting my husband into the air, or taunting him or friends from across the room. It’s quite wonderful once you begin to master it.

But Wait, There’s More!

I watched the Netflix original “MUNE” with my kids. It was really good and cute BTW. It too delves into magic energies, but in a slightly more fantastical way. Really though, there were two elements that caught my attention. One was where the character Mune used his gift to put babies to sleep and create happy dreams. The other was the final fight scene between the two big burly guys (over simplification of their description).

The gift to use energy to put babies to sleep and make pleasant dreams is real. I’ve done it with the Reiki myself. Now, when your baby has been screaming for hours from starvation due to a major reduction in breast milk, even powerful energy work will fail. But, when the baby is just cranky because they need a nap, it works like a charm. Nathan and I have put all our kids to sleep, many times over, with energy work, and it ensures long nights of undisturbed happy dreaming. It also works on us adults, Nathan regularly helps me fall asleep when I’ve had a rough day or I’m battling other people’s Energetics. I am extremely grateful we have both learned how to use this amazing gift.

Finally, that over simplified fight scene. It was between two hulk’s, one larger and angrier. The one that held all the anger seemed at first to be winning, and almost brought the lesser hulk to the dark side. But, the magic won and the smaller of the two calmed himself back into the focused fight of light over darkness. In the end it was a combination of the smaller finding his light again, and Mune using a little of his sweet dreams magic that enabled a solid win for the divine side. They joined forces in a quite magical way to ensure that the world would be safe and happy forever more.

It was a good reminder to me. It reminded me that it’s not just strength needed to win, you also need to know you are fighting the good fight. It’s not just muscle that is needed in a battle, you also need the finesse of a magical touch or talent. We all need to allow our magical selves to shine brightly. Show the world our inner-beings and what we’re truly made of, so that we can really do good for this world. Only if we find our gifts, and utilize them to our fullest potential can we overcome the darkness that constantly threatens our dreams.

May you have good reminders in your experience for just what you are capable of. May you understand your magical, gifted, energetic self, and know exactly how to bring that forth. May you know how to utilize all of your gifts to their fullest potential. If you don’t already, then may you find just the right teacher to figure it out. May you master all of your skills and find that they help you create the world of your dreams. May we all join forces too combat the darkness in our world for God’s sake. May you know that we are headed towards brighter days. Above all, may you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do and every bit of who you are.

Om Shanti