Tag Archives: hocus pocus focus

Bringing the light.

This is the second post of the cluster inspired by my focused climbing up for higher vibrational alignment.

I am very grateful that I work in a clinic that is able to soothe and help people find the middle road. We collectively helped to bring some light to extremes and get people to work together… mostly anyhow!

We were able to serve a wide array of people during 2020 Covid non-sense because we were able to soothe nerves from both extremes.

We shed light on people’s fears through conversations, and helped them to see some things were being inflated and were sounding worse than that of reality. Nervous people would leave not only having had their aches and pains and headaches solved, but they would also gain relief from the scare tactics of news media. Well informed practitioners brought calm and clarity, over and over again, over the past 10 months.

We provided services that helped beyond words. When you are hurting, fears can seem bigger than they are. Once the body pain subsided, often the sense of fear and impending doom would as well. I can’t count the number of times someone would enter worked up about Covid and fall asleep on my table (some exceptions of course). Numerous people left saying that their treatment (Chiro/Acupuncture) or massage was exactly what they needed and was life changing relief on multiple levels.

Beyond that, I know that I, and at least a couple of others in the office, went out of our way to help the facility feel safe. I know I have regularly done Reiki on the building itself to clear out the energetic clutter. I have cleared when those most concerned, left behind a wake of energetics threatening to affect others. I have put massive amounts of intent and energy work into helping the space feel relaxing, feel safe, and feel secure and peaceful. I know it has helped to some degree, and my biggest wish is that I could maintain it more consistently (my own battles and schedule being the biggest hurdles for that).

For instance, one client initially wanted to refuse to wear a mask at all. He fought it, but gave in and kept returning, because he knew we were helping him. We were his trusted source for physical relief. We were not the people portrayed in the propaganda’s warnings about forcing masks. We were able to convey to him that we just had people’s safety in mind and we were doing our best to meet everyone’s needs. He begrudgingly wore a mask which he wrote TRUMP on in sharpie marker, but conceded we had no malice in making him wear one while in the building. He found understanding for our version of the middle path.

Another client, I’ll reference as Anxiety lady. She simply couldn’t hear me at first, but kept coming to the clinic. She refused to see me for services, but continued utilizing other practitioner’s services. Eventually, she did catch it and realized it really wasn’t that bad. She’s realized we weren’t just trying to be “on the other side” and we were genuinely trying to inform her. Even though she has yet to schedule with me, I’m confident she will eventually. I might look like the propaganda, sometimes looking a bit hippie-ish, but I was well informed and I did speak truth. The propaganda’s messages never account for that. She has to see that, and now that she’s also survived the Vid, she’ll eventually get over whatever prejudices she’s held onto this far. Plus, she does see the clinic as helping her, and the clinic wouldn’t keep someone around if they weren’t helping. Again clarity eventually comes, even when fear does it’s best to drown it out. But ultimately it is more a result of the clinic as a whole being able to maintain a clear picture of the middle path, of doing our best for as many people as possible. That is the biggest influence of all.

I really do appreciate working in an environment where we work together to meet as many needs as possible. I also really enjoy working somewhere where people do acknowledge the imperfections of western medicine, and do their best to provide the tools and resources they know to help compensate. We’re saying “we’re in this mess with you, let’s keep woes to the best minimum possible, and work together to reach for feeling better. Let’s all reach for better alignment together.”

That message is vital to feeling supported and included, during a time when media would love to see us tear each other apart.

I love that the clinic isn’t hung up on vaccines being a savior, because we all acknowledge their imperfections as well. I love that we regularly speak truths of health, guiding people to many options that can help them maintain better overall health. I love that all the practitioners are well informed on nutrition, exercise, stretching, supplies and supplements that can help with improving health.

I love that I work with a staff of people all doing their best to not only maintain or improve their own health, but that willingly work towards that goal with their clients as well. I love that I work in an environment that is focused on living the best life you can, it’s a massive improvement over helping people ease out of life gently.

May you enjoy where you work. May you see all the positives of your work and appreciate those around you, both co-workers and clients. May you know that life will continue to give you what you focus on, so focusing on the best is really the only way to go. May you find your middle road towards common ground. May you know we’re all just trying to find our best path through life. May you have all the tools and resources you need to find your own health and even help others do the same. Above all, may you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Where’s the magic?

Between watching She-Ra with my kids, and one too many news-feed induced conversations with people in my world, I’m left asking “Where is the magic?”

In the context of my now, the magic is the God force, mystical energies of everything. “All that is, all that was, and all that ever will be.” – Carl Sagan

Magic really always was for me, my mystical everything. As a teen I learned it wasn’t my secret. Allister Crowley defined magic as “The art of creating change in conformity with will.” I have known that definition for over 20 years now. Abraham Hicks, and many others in the thought revolution, discuss this with more straightforward terminology, and Hicks labeled this thought revolution “The Law of Attraction”. The concept is the same, focus and create change merely with thoughts. The law of Attraction may be science from Quantum Science’s perspective, but in the practical experience of reality, it really is magic.

Now watching She-Ra with my kids, my inspiration is renewed.

I see parallels between the Prime Horde and the Borg of Star Treck. They were both concerned with uniformity, conformity, sameness, enough to completely squelch the individual and connect them to hive mind. And I see the parallels in the now.

I don’t generally support conspiracy theories because they are just that: theories. Moreso, they tend to inflate fears that could be completely unfounded. However, I’ve noticed an overarching theme with media and people in general these days.

Two sides of a coin. You’re with us or against us mentality. You’re either conservative and tow that line, or you’re liberal. Both sides arguing the other is wrong, and neither allowing for individuals: unique, special, and allowing for more. Neither showing tolerance for individuality, neither showing appreciation of blended beliefs and preferences. Both sides are being the Horde, and the media today inflates and encourages this mentality.

It’s really very similar to the story line of She-Ra, in that the First Ones and the Horde were in a battle to claim the stake of being right and convincing everyone to follow their sameness. Unfortunately, in that story line, the Horde couldn’t control magic and it became their weakness (ultimately a good thing). The first ones however learned how to marry magic and technology and got greedy for the power gleaned, eventually causing their own demise.

I see the parallels between our division in the world today, and those two fictional factions.

We do have a greedy few that know and understand the Law of Attraction, and they are slowly working on their own demise, they may control their followers now and tell them what to believe, but like First Ones they will eventually fail and loose everything.

Yet there is this other side that just really pushes sameness, supposedly as being safer. They are very similar to the Horde, and our media today only encourages and inflates everything as related to that. I would argue that the medical industry is a large contributor to that side. Alas, just as the Horde could not control magic and ultimately lost, so too will sick-care and industry bent on everyone acting, doing, behaving, in a certain way, to be safe.

I personally want nothing from either side. I am that unique, middle ground, reaching for better.

I know about the magic. Sometimes I could definitely be better at using it, but at least I understand how. Yet, I really want to share it with everyone willing to learn how to use it responsibly. I do feel like She-Ra defending magic, and all uniqueness, as I’m still learning to wield it’s power myself.

She-Ra has inspired me to keep trying, and keep practicing, and keep reaching for better. It has revived my inspiration of Tessering from “Wrinkle in Time”. It has given me visuals to encourage my work as a healer, and the Reiki energy flows stronger and stronger every time I practice the new visuals. Between all of it, the inspiration is definitely launching me towards better.

I know I am getting better at using thought to create change. I’m just not certain that I will ever defeat the Horde(s) as She-Ra was able. I’d love to. I’d love to see a world full of uniqueness, so I’ll keep focusing to give it a fair shot. But either way, I know I will eventually create my Atira. My community at least, will be a safe haven for those of us willing to live in acceptance of the individual and mixed beliefs and preferences. My community will be open and loving and magical without greed. My community will help people to master magic responsibly. I look forward to that day.

For now I am enjoying a little magic using plastic eggs and toy cars. I built a little model as a focus tool. It takes a little imagination, but you can see the founder’s home (big yellow double dome), the temple and community services center (purple cluster), the business complex (blue green L shaped complex), and the community living area (small domes, yellow and purple). The blue blanket is to represent the pond/lake I hope to have at the center of my Atira, with hiking trails all around.

Now I’ll play with my kiddos to enact things that would happen at Atira. That’s the fun part!

May you have fun moments of magic in your life. May you know we are not alone, and that uniqueness is more precious than anything pushed as sameness or safety. May you know that the God force of magic is more healing than any medicine, vaccine, or sick-care treatment. May you know you are healthy and strong and capable of great things. May you know that God loves and supports you no matter what and in all things you do. May you know you are always whole, safe, and loved just as you are.

Om Shanti

Abraham reminder.

Watch another Abraham video. It’s titled: “Abraham Hicks NO ADS – How to Auto motivate When You Feel Lazy”. I can’t guarantee it’ll stay up long, sometimes links I post disappear pretty quick.

Anyway, it was a reminder that I am efforting a little too much. I kind of knew that, and it was why I said I wouldn’t make any hasty decisions.

I’m having difficulty, and doing my best to pull up. I’m doing all the things, but it is slower going than I want. I’m also having a heck of a time keeping my focus on the things that are going right. When Abraham said to chill out, take a nap, or meditate, my knee jerk reaction was “I AM!!!”. At least as much as possible.

Those moments do help and do work, in the moment. I’m just having difficulty sustaining them in between. For instance, when I worked out today I totally zoned out to the music pumping in my earbuds- so much, that when I went to check a notification on my watch I almost lost my balance doing 4.4 mph at a 4 incline on the treadmill (and yes the numbers were a conscious choice). It was almost really bad, but I caught myself just in time.

Despite my faux pas, I refocused and zoned back into my treadmill workout.

I’m frustrated with myself, with my lack of results, with things not being very close to my desires in many ways. I do feel like I am reaching for impossibilities, and that’s without comparing myself to others. It’s bogging me down.

Here’s the deal. No one chooses to be crazy. And I’m not really crazy, but I do still feel like my brain is not fully functional, because I do frequently have extreme difficulty controlling it. 7 years of practice with many actions to help proper function and encourage healing, and I still have these bouts, periods where making my brain cooperate is like pulling teeth.

It is very frustrating. Especially considering that I was born into imbalance and it got much much worse, long before it started to get better. Born an orange baby from jaundice due to high blood sugars during my mom’s pregnancy, and then dysfunctional family life early on, some of which continued all the way into adulthood. I have literally fought my entire life to stay alive trying to find healthy, trying to find balance, trying to find proper brain function, and trying to convince myself that I even want to live- that life can be enjoyable.

I have gotten this far by my efforts, and after reaching adulthood- with some support from my husband Nathan. No one else got me here. My family sure as hell didn’t, out of all of them there is only two that I feel like even put effort into mental health like I did, and ones of those is my younger brother. Bonus half the time I feel like God even forgot I was trying.

Mental health problems are a modern problem. They were present before the industrial revolution (some very interesting history on that), but they have become much more plentiful since. There are many reasons and also many hypothesis for that, but the acknowledgement of this being a modern era concern is just the same. We diagnose them more frequently and more accurately than once upon a time, and generally people seek treatment more frequently than in history. However, the numbers are still in a generally climbing curve. That implies that what we are doing as a populus is encouraging mental disease and disorders, not actually solving anything.

This really could be said for all disease, we have more diseases to label and diagnose, more symptoms to treat, more avenues to seek symptom treatment, but disease from allopathic medicine is rarely solution/healing oriented.

So sometimes I do get angry at God. I am doing the work. I am reaching for better. I am practicing techniques to allow as much healing as possible. I put forth as much non-resistant effort as I can find time for- all to get my brain to cooperate. Yet, 7 years and it is still a challenge more frequently than I like, and often more difficult than I can handle alone.

Where is my miraculous healing that meditation is supposed to enable?

So I ranted at my divine masculine today. Ultimately, I feel like having been left hanging by the divine has caused all my concerns to be greater, harder, and longer, and I often wonder what the hell I did to deserve it.

Yet I still reach for better as much as possible.

So I told my divine masculine:

If there really is no spoon, then why can’t you just stand here? Why can’t you just give me a hug and tell me it’ll be okay? Why can’t you just acknowledge all the things I desire and remind me that they are worthy goals? Why can’t you honestly tell me how you feel? Why can’t you be lovingly supportive like my husband and help me figure out solutions to make things go more smoothly? Why can’t you just heal my brain so it stops doing this to me? Why can’t you remind me of the moments of feel good knowing which I have had? Why can’t you tell me do this and you’ll get that thing you want? Why can’t you be strong and capable and still caring, gentle, compassionate, and loving? Why can’t you love on me, heal me, and kick anyone’s ass that gets in the way of that? Why can’t you give me helpful advice and do things with me to help speed my progress? Why can you help support me so I can work less and have more time for me and my healing needs? That’s what I want and need from my divine masculine.

It’s been hard long enough, and I’ve done so many things to help, that I feel like I’ve earned that. But maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

I just want to be the healthy beautiful venus with my poly family and my Atira community and businesses. I want love and connections and prosperity and a lighter work load and support from my loving poly family. I was supposed to have more than one partner in love and business- combined! I was supposed to have more, and I’ve worked a long time, practicing at aiming at that goal. I know these things are already in my vortex and in full detail and complexities clearly defined. They’re there. I want to allow them here.

It feels like too much to ask and nearly impossible, but I do keep reaching for examples that prove otherwise.

I reach for the Will Smith’s (the actor) of polyamory. I reach for the businesses owned and operated by spouses or significant others. I reach for the clinics that are closer to what I envisioned. I reach for the intentional communities, especially the high dollar complexes like I desire (like when I learned of the Cerner complex being built in Arkansas that has literally everything I want, but in standard modern construction instead of my domes). I reach for the proof of things not being impossible and remind myself as frequently as possible that I am enough. I reach for the knowing that I am strong enough. I am intelligent enough. I am capable enough. I am patient enough. I am kind enough. I am loving enough. I am beautiful enough. I am working hard enough (hell probably too much). I’m giving enough. I’m helpful enough.

I am enough in all the ways.

I know I can do all the pieces of the dream, and what I don’t know how to do myself I know how to learn or find someone that can. I’m just having a hell of a time getting them all together at once, and finding the funding to make it happen and keep it going.

So I’ll focus some more and do my best to stay on the positives. I’ll do all the things over and over again. I’ll make my brain cooperate, and meditate, and do as much as I can to allow. And I’ll keep allowing as much as possible so that my divine masculine actually can start filling in the gaps and hopefully provide my much desired healing so it’s not so hard. I’ve asked enough for 3 lifetimes, now I really do just need to shut the eff up and let it in. Somehow.


May you have stable mental health and clarity. May you be able to maintain focus on the feel good knowing of your inner being. May you allow all of your asking to manifest. May you find your progress to be great wonderful strides towards better and better. May you never plateau on your improvement, but still enjoy your life and your journey. May you know your are enough and can do it. May you fully and deeply, understand and believe, that nothing is impossible. May you believe in your ability to beat the odds. May you know your divine connection(s) love and support you and are doing the best possible to guide you to your desires. May you allow fully for that divine force to accomplish great things for you.

Om Gum Ganpatiye, Om Namo Narayanaya, Om Shanti

For those unfamiliar with mantras, my ending essentially translates as a salutation to the divine to break obstacles, allow for protective flow, and find peace. 3 prayers in one to 3 divine aspects.