Tag Archives: hocus pocus focus

Continuation

I was in the middle of meditation when my inner self said I needed to share the words I’m using, and the experience of thier effects for me.

So here goes my best meditative post for the day.

I am here.
I am a miracle.
I am a miracle for having made it through this far.
I am a miracle because of my body and my brain, and their awe inspiring ability to heal.
I am a healer just by virtue of being alive.

I feel the light that those statements bring to my awareness, as a warm tingly sensation spreading through my body and brain. Then the light starts to produce pressure in certain areas. Those are the edges of where the flow is blocked, just like how a trigger point resists my touch.

Repeat. I am here.
I am a miracle.
My body is a miracle.
My brain is a miracle.
I am alive because of the miracle healing mechanisms in my body.
I made it through everything just by being me and choosing to live.

The pressure grows to be more noticeable. I give it the attention it needs just as I would a trigger point. Acknowledge it is there. Something caused it to be hurt and the hurt got stuck in a way that is cutting off the love, the flow of life in your body.

I am sorry that those things happened, and I'm sorry that they never healed. I deserved better than that, and I am the one that failed to give myself what was needed to heal at the time. I am sorry.

I love you (pressure/pain space). I love myself enough to fix it now. I have given myself all of the tools my body needs to mend, I made sure of it by taking my vitamins and a few very supportive herbs. I made sure of it, because I know that my brain is struggling because it needs something. So regardless of what IT says I'm going to do my best to provide. I am a miracle goddess worthy and deserving of love. Real love.

Discomfort grows, but in smaller areas.

The pressure, the discomfort, is where the light is moving into the damaged spaces. It is uncomfortable because it forces flow to return, it forces life to live again. The damage was never mended, and the only way to bring in healing is to open the wound. God's light is gentler than surgery, but still uncomfortable.

Opening a wound is always going to be painful. But once open the light, the flow, can return.

The relief begins.

The flow brings what was needed all along.

It becomes a gentle loving embrace.
The sense of support we all need.
Those parts of me, they just didn't know they needed it, or even what it was.

The pressure feels less but stays.
Now it is the pressure of being supported in loving light.
Now it is the pressure of nutrients and hydration flowing in.
It is a good pressure, it is a helpful pressure.
It is the feeling of God being let into spaces that have not felt the light and love for decades.
This discomfort, this definitely feels good. Like the hurts-good of my fix-it massages.
It makes sure that everything gets what it needs.
It is omnipresent, all the damaged spaces receiving simultaneously, my only ability to discern is where I focus my attention.
I count 11 in my brain, head, and neck.
I count 23 in the rest of my body.
And I'm writing from this mindful space so I may have missed some.
All of them found with the same level of light and love flowing much needed supportive pressure.

Pause.
Feel.
Just sitting with the sensations.
Let the mind relax, and check in on spots in a rotation you don't have to think too much about.
Just know the light and love is working, and the level of damage is what determines how long it might take.
Do this as long as possible, every day.
If you have to stop because of life, just know you have to revisit until complete. With my years of practice, I'm able to do this as long as no one is talking directly to me, it has been a huge help.

You know it is complete when the pressure releases and you genuinely feel better in that spot. It feels good again. It feels easy again. It feels normal again.

If you get distracted, repeat.
I am here.
I am a miracle.
My body is a miracle.
My brain is a miracle.
I made it through all of that and I'm still alive.
I deserve the miracle that is ME.
I deserve all that is wonderful and good.
I deserve to have myself and all that means.
I deserve all the love and light needed to heal fully and completely.

Sit and relax and repeat any of this as much as needed. Do what your body asks of you. If you need to pee, go pee. If you need a drink, drink something, preferably pure water. If your body wants to change position do it to the fullest of your ability. Just keep breathing through all of it and stay focused on the message here.

May you find the healing you seek. May the flow do exactly what you hope for. May we all find the release of healing and find our whole inner self. May we all feel just fine again. May you feel good and know the light of life is flowing in all of you. Above all, may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

As above so below. An it harm none, do what ye will. So mote it be.

May God’s will be complete, on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Bhumi mangalam,
Udaka mangalam,
Agni mangalam,
Vayu mangalam,
Gagana mangalam,
Surya mangalam,
Chandra mangalam,
Jagata Mangalam,
Jeeva mangalam,
Deva mangala,
Mano mangalam,
Aatma mangalam,
Sarva mangalam
Om Shanti
(Translation: May there be tranquility on earth, in water, in fire, in the wind, in the sky, on the sun, on the moon, on our planet, in all living beings, in the body, in the mind, and in the spirit. May that tranquility be everywhere and in everyone. Aum peace)

Om Shanti

Real is now.

I owe Nathan an apology. I had a ‘”look at the real picture honestly so that you don’t get disappointed” moment and he wanted me to have hope for better.

I still prefer a quick easy life exit, and still don’t have much hope for major sweeping social changes during my lifetime.

But in a way Nathan was right. My biggest problems lie in trying to solve what is out of my hands, and I not staying in the now consistently.

My now really isn’t as bad as it could be, and the disease(s) that like(s) to lie to my brain, is loosing more frequently than previous. I see the mental lies for what they are, and when I catch them I can walk right around them.

Really when I catch the negative lies, I simply refocus on the now, and the positives I do know. But after several years of practice I am still not 100% consistent. Hell, I’m not sure I’m even 75% yet, but I do think I’m over the half way hump enough to matter for improvement.

So when brains start telling us the other is going to die; I remember that it’s not right now or I wouldn’t be having an argument with my brain to begin with, I’d be dead.

Now
I'm breathing
Now
I'm awake
Now
I'm making a choice
Be present
Be here
Be alive
Be me
Remember who
i am
I
God's
Gift
A healer
Incarnate
Here
To Do
Divine
Work
For mySelf
To Do
The ultimate
For humanity
It is
Possible
I can
If i
Let I
Help

~ Treasa Cailleach

May you see your now and the way to healing. May you know that your own healing is the first step to healing all of humanity. May you know the ripple always starts with one drop. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Strengths and Weaknesses

That’s my son demonstrating his ability to scale the hallway. I was only slightly mortified as a well informed mom of a 6 year old boy. I was kinda proud, my son was doing what my brother and I did as kids. The difference was there was never anyone willing to catch my fall, so I always stuck to what was mostly safe, that way if I fell I wouldn’t have far to go.

My son knows he has me to catch him, he knows I’m strong enough and that I am willing to do what it takes to keep him from harm, he knows I love him. Yet, I still step back and watch and take pictures. I give him the space to do things himself and make obvious that I am happy he can. I do love him.

Anyway, thinking about things from that perspective made me acknowledge that I still don’t have anyone to catch my fall, and I’m 30 years older than my son. Yet the game just keeps getting harder. I want the game to be easier. As neat as it is to say I won, there is a limit to what one person can withstand, and some days I feel like I’m reaching my limit. So, I’m doing everything I can to focus on things getting easier. It means I’m having to ignore a lot of people around me, and do all the things I know and trust to help my mood stay buoyant. I am trying to make mental note of every single moment that feels easier. I am focusing on every single feel good moment I have as intently as possible to try and drown out everything else. I feel like I’m treading water, but hours into it and questioning how much longer I’ll make it. Prayers were helping and now they feel empty and one sided.

So mostly I just try to zone out for a while or take enough herbs to compensate. Nothing lasts forever, and this too shall pass. Silence, or a wall of sound, is currently golden because one helps me focus and the others drowns everything out so I don’t have to.

There will be a light at the end of the tunnel, I just need a bit more patience.

I close my eyes and focus on happy thoughts. I let music become my dominant focus, even when I’m in session with a client. I’m talking less and hiding more. Most sessions the last couple of weeks have been only the sound of peaceful music playing. It helps me think about good things and things I like and love. It helps me feel relief. It helps me find some calm.

I finishedy tax prep finally and they’re off to the accountant for her half, so I’m finally able to fit more workouts in again. I’m catching up quickly only having missed a few workouts, but I know that my current state is not just because of a few missed exercise routines. Patience.

May you do your best. May you find relief. May you find a way to chill when everything seems to be going against you. May you feel better and have more than enough focus. May you have enough energy to accommodate everything and everyone. May you know there will be someone there to catch your fall. May you know God loves and supports you.

Om Shanti

Frigid Triggers

So I mentioned that I had been climbing out of trigger holes this week. I’m going to talk about that a little more.

One moment just after my birthday, I had a bit of jealousy sneak up on me. I quickly acknowledged that was going on and talked myself out of it. I acknowledged that jealousy is based on the belief that someone has something that you want and don’t have, but also some level of feeling neglected. I pointed out to myself that neither case was actually true. If the shoe was on the other foot, as in viewing myself from an outside perspective, I had that which was causing the jealousy, and I am far from being neglected. It simply wasn’t actually true, so that was an easy trigger to solve.

My other major trigger this week, and one that was reoccurring every single day, was simply the bitter cold and how it was affecting my life. One element of that was the whole ‘it’s the week of my birthday and the weather straight up sucked’. The other element was that it began directly affecting my daily work experience.

See, the clinic has two halves on two different heating systems. My office is in the half that has what is commonly referred to as a mini-split. Simply put, it has a unit outside, and then wall mounted units to accomodate both heating and air conditioning without the need for ductwork or other hazards of central heat/AC. They are only slightly less costly than a centralized system, but they are supposed to be more energy efficient. The biggest problem that I have noticed with the older unit governing my office, is that it no longer handles temperature extremems. It has gone down 3 times in the last two years, all during extreme temperatures- once due to heat in excess of 100°F, and twice due to temps below 15°F. This week was the second round of below 15°. The units work decent when they are only attempting to bridge a gap of 30 or 40 degrees, but once the range exceeds that, problems arise. This time it was the exterior lines froze preventing any function.

That treanslated into trying to function solely on space heaters. Generally not a huge concern, except that the 3 office rooms were wired on one 20 AMP circut. Which means that we could only power 2 space heaters on full, or if I needed table heat on, I had to turn space heaters to low. It was frustrating to say the least. So, it meant coming into a frigid space and doing my best to warm it by the time people needed to be disrobing for their massage. We blew the breaker well over a dozen times this week, just trying to get 2 of the 3 rooms to a decent temperature. Finally, the acupuncturists decided to temporarily relocate, so I was the only one attempting to get a room to normal temperatures. I still managed to blow the breaker 3 more times trying to warm the room up as quickly as possible.

It was frustrating, and at times infuriating. I kept climbing up from negativitiy, and something would set me off again. At one point the one acupuncturist asked me how I was doing, and I lost it on her, spending several minutes ranting about the whole situation.

I’m mostly (referencing generalities) still in my detached space, and because of that I keep repeating “Not my monkeys, not my circus”, but it is directly affecting me and that is why it keeps triggering a negative loop. I can’t stand weather this cold, and especially when I get bone chillingly cold myself.

In my perfect world I would be that person that takes an extended vacation when the weather turns crappy like this. I would love to have a birthday in Cancun or Hawaii, but alas it is not currently possible.

It also doesn’t help that no one seemes to care about the problem in a long-term solution sort of way. The chiropractors knew I was upset and began turning on space heaters before I arrived, but there was no motion towards a real fix. I pointed out to the acupuncturist that this was the third time I was having to deal with this situation and I have yet to make my 2 year anniversary. I explained that even though heaters don’t go down all the time, that it is a possibility with any system, and whoever wired 3 offices on one 20 AMP breaker was dense. There should always be enough power for worst case scenario. Yet, there is barely enough amperage for normal function in 3 rooms.

For instance, I am a massage therapist, and I have 4 seperate devices that draw a good amount of power. My room alone could blow the breaker if I turned everything on. I know becasue I did when one of my space heaters was taken by the acupuncturist. At that point the whole building was struggling to maintain, and the office manager and chiropractor had taken space heaters for themselves, and so one of my 2 tiny ones went to the acupuncturist. My solution was to turn on my hot stone roaster, my hot towel cabbie, and the table heater. The other space heater was already running, and the lights were on. 30 seconds later the breaker tripped. So just my basic devices which I have utilized for years, tripped the breaker becasue they were all on at the same time.

There is no way that those three offices can handle all of the devices that could potentially run at the same time. I can not run my menagerie, and then have the acupuncturist try to use diathermy, or even a laptop being used on top of my regular stuff would be too much. It simply is no good for a lot of reasons.

Ultimately, not only does the mini-split need some serious TLC to try and get it more functional, but if I had a say, I would call an electrician and figure out the cheapest solution to get those three rooms better power in a permanent way.

There also should be stored space heaters and fans for situations like this. As it is, I brought in 2 of my personal space heaters and the one accupincturist had one of her personal units. That means if we hadn’t been on the ball, the whole office would have failed due to a lack of heat providing devices. It would not be any significant financial strain to buy a fan and space heater for each room, and all of the rooms could come up with the shred of space to store them when not in use.

Alas, it is not my circus. I have no financial investment in the building or business. I am simply a contractor trying to keep clients happy, so no one gives a flying eff about my opinions. So, on top of hating the cold, being upset over a frigid birthday, and then spending an entire work week battling the cold inside of my office, the lack of my opinion mattering was just the icing on the cake.

It took every ounce of my mental fortitude to keep pulling up and finding my happy this week, and today I was so exhausted from it that I really just wanted to stay in bed and not even go to work.

Yet I did.

I showed up 40 min early, and the chiropractor had already turned on the space heaters, so it wasn’t as frigid as previous days. The sun was shining, so I got a bit more sunlight than the previous several days. I even managed to get in a decent workout between clinic and my 2nd job. I’m holding steady, and hoping that they seriously figure out a long-term solution before the peak of summer heat kills the equipment again.

Regardless, it’s not my circus and I will always do my best to stay focused on my happy place. I will keep finding better feeling thoughts, and do my best to keep pulling up, even when triggers are plentiful and repetitive. Sometimes it just takes way more effort, and I’m somewhat wondering if I will ever see a good reason to keep reaching up so diligently. Hopefully that’s just the remnants of discouragement talking.

May you have many birthdays with beautiful perfect weather. May you find that finding your happy place is easy. May it be life affirming and easy to regain your balance and feel good. May you have plenty of rest and plenty of warmth. May you see the results of your energetic and thought work. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do, no matter what.

Om Shanti

Bringing the light.

This is the second post of the cluster inspired by my focused climbing up for higher vibrational alignment.

I am very grateful that I work in a clinic that is able to soothe and help people find the middle road. We collectively helped to bring some light to extremes and get people to work together… mostly anyhow!

We were able to serve a wide array of people during 2020 Covid non-sense because we were able to soothe nerves from both extremes.

We shed light on people’s fears through conversations, and helped them to see some things were being inflated and were sounding worse than that of reality. Nervous people would leave not only having had their aches and pains and headaches solved, but they would also gain relief from the scare tactics of news media. Well informed practitioners brought calm and clarity, over and over again, over the past 10 months.

We provided services that helped beyond words. When you are hurting, fears can seem bigger than they are. Once the body pain subsided, often the sense of fear and impending doom would as well. I can’t count the number of times someone would enter worked up about Covid and fall asleep on my table (some exceptions of course). Numerous people left saying that their treatment (Chiro/Acupuncture) or massage was exactly what they needed and was life changing relief on multiple levels.

Beyond that, I know that I, and at least a couple of others in the office, went out of our way to help the facility feel safe. I know I have regularly done Reiki on the building itself to clear out the energetic clutter. I have cleared when those most concerned, left behind a wake of energetics threatening to affect others. I have put massive amounts of intent and energy work into helping the space feel relaxing, feel safe, and feel secure and peaceful. I know it has helped to some degree, and my biggest wish is that I could maintain it more consistently (my own battles and schedule being the biggest hurdles for that).

For instance, one client initially wanted to refuse to wear a mask at all. He fought it, but gave in and kept returning, because he knew we were helping him. We were his trusted source for physical relief. We were not the people portrayed in the propaganda’s warnings about forcing masks. We were able to convey to him that we just had people’s safety in mind and we were doing our best to meet everyone’s needs. He begrudgingly wore a mask which he wrote TRUMP on in sharpie marker, but conceded we had no malice in making him wear one while in the building. He found understanding for our version of the middle path.

Another client, I’ll reference as Anxiety lady. She simply couldn’t hear me at first, but kept coming to the clinic. She refused to see me for services, but continued utilizing other practitioner’s services. Eventually, she did catch it and realized it really wasn’t that bad. She’s realized we weren’t just trying to be “on the other side” and we were genuinely trying to inform her. Even though she has yet to schedule with me, I’m confident she will eventually. I might look like the propaganda, sometimes looking a bit hippie-ish, but I was well informed and I did speak truth. The propaganda’s messages never account for that. She has to see that, and now that she’s also survived the Vid, she’ll eventually get over whatever prejudices she’s held onto this far. Plus, she does see the clinic as helping her, and the clinic wouldn’t keep someone around if they weren’t helping. Again clarity eventually comes, even when fear does it’s best to drown it out. But ultimately it is more a result of the clinic as a whole being able to maintain a clear picture of the middle path, of doing our best for as many people as possible. That is the biggest influence of all.

I really do appreciate working in an environment where we work together to meet as many needs as possible. I also really enjoy working somewhere where people do acknowledge the imperfections of western medicine, and do their best to provide the tools and resources they know to help compensate. We’re saying “we’re in this mess with you, let’s keep woes to the best minimum possible, and work together to reach for feeling better. Let’s all reach for better alignment together.”

That message is vital to feeling supported and included, during a time when media would love to see us tear each other apart.

I love that the clinic isn’t hung up on vaccines being a savior, because we all acknowledge their imperfections as well. I love that we regularly speak truths of health, guiding people to many options that can help them maintain better overall health. I love that all the practitioners are well informed on nutrition, exercise, stretching, supplies and supplements that can help with improving health.

I love that I work with a staff of people all doing their best to not only maintain or improve their own health, but that willingly work towards that goal with their clients as well. I love that I work in an environment that is focused on living the best life you can, it’s a massive improvement over helping people ease out of life gently.

May you enjoy where you work. May you see all the positives of your work and appreciate those around you, both co-workers and clients. May you know that life will continue to give you what you focus on, so focusing on the best is really the only way to go. May you find your middle road towards common ground. May you know we’re all just trying to find our best path through life. May you have all the tools and resources you need to find your own health and even help others do the same. Above all, may you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti