Tag Archives: honor yourself

Whew…

Presentation complete.

Stress is backing off.

I finished up right at about 9pm, I went a little longer than when practicing- about an hour and 20 min. But there was time for some questions at the end, which were excellent, as well as the moderator had some announcements at beginning and end.

My first Zoom was pretty intense. I didn’t count attendees, I noted 3 pages of logins, which my estimate is somewhere in the 60-70 member range. I found after counting page one and seeing all those faces, I didn’t need any more faces to think of.

However, once I started everything flowed well and other than a few tongue-tie moments, I think I did well. I’m confident I covered everything as intended and explained myself well.

I hope everyone gleaned helpful knowledge and that my information helps them in all the ways intended.

Sigh.

It was actually kind of odd, because after I started the slides, I couldn’t see anyone’s faces, so I almost felt like I was just doing another practice run. Regardless, I am a flushed mess at the moment, still coming down from nervous jitters, and that’s with a short workout between work and the presentation. I earned my keep, on this day for certain.

Now to calm myself enough to find sleep.

May you have good moments of feeling confident in your experience and abilities. May you have knowledge and information that others wish to utilize and share. May you find public speaking to be easy. May you appreciate your gifts and use them to help others in every way available. May you have good sighs of relief. May you know that God loves and supports you in every way and in all things.

Om Shanti

Improvement?

I was able to leave work a couple of hours early today. I knew I must take the opportunity to slide in an extra workout. I texted my husband and he decided to go with me.

I changed into my old workout outfit. It’s probably almost a decade old, and the shirt has had paint on it for longer than my 6 year old has been alive. The pants gained a bleached area after moving into our previous home about 2 years ago.

Nathan picked the treadmill, and I chose to do a combo of elliptical and rowing machine. We both did a full 45 min workout, and I did my best to maximize mine (HR, speed, resistance, etc.).

I started with the elliptical set on a big incline to maximize focus on quads and glutes. My quads have been weak and my glutes have been chronically tight; sometimes that’s a sign of weakness, but it’s also potentially just because of the nature of how I stand while working.

Either way, I wanted this workout to help in as many ways as possible. So, I picked my machines based on muscles I wanted to work, and the duration for helping my brain function.

10 min into the elliptical my clothes were bothersome. They are now so baggy that they catch on things. While still in motion I tied a knot in my shirt hem, and pulled my pants up higher and cinched in the drawstring more. I then had to pull my sleeves up as high as possible to get them to stay put.

When I got home I realized they were 18/20W or a 2XL. When I originally bought them I was not quite at my largest and they were comfortably loose. I do remember when I hit my largest they were no longer quite so comfortable and that was one of many signals to acknowledge I needed to fix things. That was over 7 years ago.

Now, I know I wore a fitted size Large scrub top last week that wasn’t quite so tight anymore. I wouldn’t call it spacious or comfy, but it’s not restrictive like it was when I bought it in the frame of mind of being hopeful.

So I’m down from an 18/20W plus size to a solid 14/16 regular, and still shrinking, not quite to a size 12 yet.

This is quite possibly the slowest process I’ve ever noticed, but it is progress. The bathroom scale is still useless registering 217-220 depending on the day, but I’m definitely slowly inching smaller.

I still get frustrated over my tummy because it shows bloating so readily, but I’m definitely smaller. When I stand with proper posture and I’m not bloated, my tummy is smaller than my breasts, the last times that happened was directly after giving birth to my children. It makes me feel good.

This all helps me feel better. The exercise itself, the results, being smaller, feeling better physically, it all helps my mood. This on top of all of my regimen is a big helper, but I’m still inching up.

It’s not taking me weeks or months anymore, but it’s still taking me multiple days to climb out of mental health pits. It is improvement, but I look forward to hours instead. Nay, I look forward to never falling to begin with.

I’m not sure I’m ready to contemplate what that puzzle looks like yet. I’ll get this one down better first.

Anyway, I wanted to share my efforts and the noticable measures of improvement. I will keep plugging away and eventually I will be back up again.

May you have moments of appreciation and validation of your efforts at improvement. May your brain always cooperate with you. May you have stable mental health and a healthy body inside and out. May you know you are doing better and find ways to love yourself for it. May you know you’re loved and supported.

Om Shanti

I’m me.

Happy
Sad
Sometimes terse
For better
or worse
Plump
Strong
Healthiest
'Unhealthy'
You'll ever find
Capable
Aware
A companies' wet-dream
Desiring for my own
Dreams
Manifest
Carrying all
Responsibility
Stress
Loving myself anyway
In every
Dress
Formal
Casual
Jeans and boots
Scrubs
Can be scrubbed
Or finely polished
Rough around the edges
A beautiful gem
Hiding
Kindness matters
Especially for
One's own heart
I'm me
And always will be

~Treasa Cailleach

Take time to appreciate and love yourself this holiday season.

May you know your worth and love yourself for it. May you have the happiest of holidays with or without family or friends.

Om Shanti