Tag Archives: humor

Punch a Monk

I told Nathan that’s what I want to do. I wouldn’t really, it’s just words to express my frustrations.

I’m not some monk sitting in robes in some mountain monastery all day for the rest of my life. In fact that sounds like a really great permanent vacation at this point.

No phone, no internet, people all busy taking care of their inner world, being served minimal extra healthy meals, getting perfect amounts of sleep regulated for the group as a whole. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that picture and the human experience.

In fact it’s the ideal.

And that’s why I want to punch them.

I’m supposed to try and fit monk ideals into:

Being the provider for a single income household, mom of 3 obstinate kids, wife to a kind but struggling husband, working 6 days a week, and trying to play catch-up for everything that failed when Nathan landed in the hospital again.

I pretty much told god, it may not actually be impossible, but it’s so damn close that the level of expectations is rediculous.

I want to punch Sadhguru, and every monk that ever made it sound easy. I want to punch them and scream at them to go and do it in my life. Go ahead, let’s switch roles for a couple of months, I’ll play monk in robes in quiet solitude and you can carry out all of my roles for a month. I dare you.

I’m supposed to be able to fix it all, manage it all. There’s supposed to be resources for all of it. But despite all of my well meaning efforts, all of my mantras and meditations, the resources simply aren’t there. Most of it is my direct responsibility, and my magic wand has run out of batteries long ago.

I had to stop the service that was taking some of the load off my shoulders. We’d hit a waiting for paperwork to process wall, and were told it could be 2 to 3 months before we got any answers. Bonus, everything else that they could have helped resolve would have taken dollars I didn’t have, at least right now. The chiropractors didn’t really have it in the budget to begin with, so I acknowledged the immense help it was, and willingly cut the cord.

I really need a real live personal assistant and about 20 grand in the bank to attempt to bring a monestary feel to my doorstep. Seeing as how that’s not happening today, or likely even this week, I keep reaching for the best I can in any given moment.

So, with all of that in mind, I am going to poke fun at Sadhguru’s quotes from this week. Who knows maybe he’ll read it and get a chuckle.

Seriously though, I have fit in some hammock time even with overcast weather. I have done meditations at night, and I’m savouring my beach time by looking at the pics and videos and letting my mind be back there. The To-Do-list is moving slowly to try and keep my shit together and keep myself from stressing so much. There is less stress, but it is not gone. I’m doing my level best with the situations and elements I have to work with and around. Perhaps one day I will find my path starting to get easier, but it’s been so long I’m really clinging hard to my hope of that.

May you find the humor when life fails. May you know that ideals are lofty goals and the rest of us are just responsible for reaching as high as we possibly can. May you see the good in your life and have enough time and resources to manage everything. May you know that you are supported and that the trickle can grow. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do, even when it is poking fun at monks and the negatives of your life.

Om Shanti

Ode to a fart

Sometimes I have no idea where something comes from, but if it’s strong enough or amusing enough, I have to follow through.

This is one such moment.

I was struck by an intense desire to text a certain someone that they’d already farted in front of me, and in fact what seems like ages ago. I was being nudged very strongly to “break the (embarrassing) ice”, and though amusing I wasn’t sure how that would go. Like: “really, text someone at 9pm to tell them they’d already farted in front of me!?!?!” My mind kept saying: ‘bad idea. Really bad idea!’

But I’m still being nudged.

So I thought a poem instead.

Ode to a fart

Sinky
Smelly
Sometimes
Right there
"Dude you dropped a massive one!"

Other times
Silent
Sneaky
Before you know it
Deadly
Stench
None can break free from

Onions
Garlic
Pale in comparison
Vampires would
Welcome their
Enemy
Over SBD

Garlic rots
Onions wilt
At just the sound
Of it's name
Silent but deadly

Never oh never
Can such a horrid bomb
Be released
In public
It would decimate
Olfactory nerves
For miles and miles

Don't dare
Light a
Flame
You never know
It's blast radius

And they always
Seem to KNOW
No one really
Gets away with it

Just think
The next time
You are in a mask-less
Zone

How many
Bombs
You survived
Because of
Covid!

   ~ Treasa Cailleach

Ok, it’s official. I’m a dork with a messed up sense of humor. I have no idea the reason or cause, but by the time I finished my little poem here, I was giggling.

I hope you have a good laugh. May you understand your messages and know why you’re supposed to do something. May you have good connections with those around you and be comfortable expressing things you are guided to say.

Om Shanti

Gratitude is good.

Today I express gratitude for my health.

I gave 2 very deep tissue massages intended to fix knees and related woes, then walked 10,000 steps and did 20 minutes of weight lifting. All of this and I still did 2 more hours of lighter massage.

The lifting let me see that I had mostly maintained or improved my strength despite having slacked on going to the gym for almost 2 years. I had only lost ground on the leg press by 5 pounds, resulting in a 195 lb lifting capacity. Everything else either maintained or went up. My arms were where I saw the increase, and triceps had gone up by 10 pounds since last lift. That was a happy dance moment. All these deep tissues are building my strength.

I’ve also brought all of my blood sugars all the way back to normal, even with sugary holiday foods. The adjustments I’ve made have fixed my biggest concern. Maybe that’ll mean the weight will finally start dropping.

I also express gratitude for my children and family time.

Yesterday was Halloween, All Hallows Eve, All Saints Day, Samhain. My children dressed as a lady demon, The Flash, and a ladybug. We trick-or-treated briefly and then spent time with friends including kids of same ages. It was a good time full of fun, and of course Katherine causing mischief.

Additionally, I express gratitude for downtime and holy days.

This coming Sunday will be my first bonified day of downtime in a month. I worked 2 Sunday’s and had the wedding in between, so this Sunday is do what I want *squeals with delight*. What does that mean… I plan on working on the dome design some more, maybe doing some beading, and we discovered the local temple is holding their Diwali festival this Sunday (I was afraid I missed it because of working last Sunday), so yep I’ll be there. I look forward to a celebration of unity and oneness. Right here at home.

Furthermore, I’m grateful for my husband keeping all the parts moving despite the oldest child being gone a lot for sleepovers and other fun stuff with friends.

Finally, I’m extremely grateful for sick burns of cheeto head and humor in general. (Nathan shared these with me by text from his Facebook, since I’m not on Facebook to do a direct share.)

May you find humor, enjoy your family, have restful enjoyable celebrations and plenty of downtime. Finally, may you see your good health and all your efforts paying off.

Siva Hir Su