Tag Archives: hyper sensitivity

Making deals

Not sure anymore
Angel or devil
Something hears me
Something seems to respond

All I know
Heavy cloaks
Feels like lead
Boots and suits

Darkness threatens
To take my life

Fighting with
All my might
Desperately aimed at
Escaping the weight

Repeating
I am She-Ra
Like a powerful
Mantra

Forcing myself
To keep going
To keep moving
It's the only thing
That helps me

Feels like escaping
Darkest demon's grip

My deal:
My life must
Have meaning
My life if lost
Must save my
Entire family

If I'm going down
They must be rescused
Instead

The darkness
Must be slain
Even if my last breath
Is the device
Of accomplishment

Like a tear jerking
Scene from Titanic

I'm doing my
Absolute best
I'm aimed
At winning
At all costs
Even risking my own life

May God's light
Shine down
Upon me
Upon my family

Perchance
A miracle
Might save us all

~ Treasa Cailleach

“What Would You Say”

What would you say came on when I had my mp3’s on shuffle. It made me think, what would I say? This is where I started, where I’m at:

Shit sucks sometimes. Sometimes things don’t go the way you think they should have. Sometimes things don’t pan out right. Sometimes you don’t get what you want.

BUT

If you focus on that side, it just creates an additional layer of misery on top of already not being the happy perfect ending you wanted.

There is no reason to torture yourself further. Look for the good and at least feel better.

Besides, even shit can have an upside. Literally, shit keeps the ecosystem functional. Animals eat poo, bugs eat poo, it fertilizes plants, there’s even been solid science where one person’s poo helps another heal- icky but true.

But seriously, even metaphorical shit can have a bonus. My shitty past has led me to try extra hard to be kind, loving, and supportive. I accept people where they are and do my level best to help without judgement. I’m still human and far from perfect, but I try that much harder because I was judged so heavily at times when I just needed caring support, and none was to be found (even/especially in childhood).

Everyone deserves someone to care and help in times that they need it most.

My father blames Nathan for everything, and others think I settled. But what they all miss is that I chose the person that could be real with me. The person that could be honest and fully accept me as I am. He leaves doors open for possibilities (polyamory, magic, faith), and unconditionally loves me even in my worst moments. He does his best to demonstrate, show and tell me of his love. Further than that I do feel his love and his importance in my life.

He gave me two beautiful children, which have been full of learning lessons. Health, food, fitness, time and stress management are all much more understood because of birthing children. I’m doing my best to be a good example and not force anything on any of my children. I’m doing my best to be kind, loving, and unconditionally accept them and show them by my choices how to help themselves. I care and want the best for them, but see and understand that they are perfectly capable creators already. I would rather show them how to create their own happiness, than tell them what that should look like, or force anything on them.

The shit sucked, massively at times, but I learned ways around just about everything. I sustained a business on nothing but a box of business cards, and started it when we were living on food stamps. Imagine what I could do with millions. I like that thought!

My point is, for most people it’s not worth giving up and throwing in the towel. Most people still have an opportunity to try again and reach for better, and that is the most important thing. Yet, when you’re in the shit storm it’s easy to loose sight of the silver lining. Just keep reminding yourself that there is a buried nugget of good somewhere and it’s worth digging for. Ickiness will eventually reward you somehow.

For now, my reaching for good is remembering good things with my chosen family, the few happy memories of childhood, snuggling pets, and walks in parks.

Today is the beginning of the full moon, and we’re hours from the start of all hallows eve followed by the day of the dead.

The veil is thin and tensions are high for most of America and the world. Even without watching any news for months (over a year probably) I am aware of every woe, every fear, everything the news is scaring people over. But I am very aware of the other side of the veil rooting for us to find that better place. 2020 is different, change has definitely sucked this year, but it is because we have bigger challenges than previous years, and it’s not just because of politics or disease.

I am aware of how many more people are finally admitting their sensitivity to the energetic and unseen world. It doesn’t mean older generations didn’t have that experience, it just means they didn’t talk about it if they did. It does make me wonder and I have difficulty understanding aspects from the ‘if you were sensitive to divine energy then how could you possibly believe_____’.

However, I’m just more concerned that there are so many like me, feeling things and sensing things, but not having a full vocabulary or tool-set to manage it. We are literally flying blind and learning as we go, and 2020 made that a massively huge undertaking.

Just know there will be an end in sight and when we clear that other side we will figure out where the nugget of gold was hiding. In the meantime, do your best to ground, center, clear the junk, and reach for better.

Use this Hallows Eve and Day of the Dead to reach for better and ask support of all our ancestors that know the tricks to manage our sensitivity. Take advantage of the thin veil to get extra support from the unseen. It’s been ages since October has seen 2 full moons, and even longer since a full moon on Halloween. It’s significant, and it may just be the boost we all need to clear the hurdle of 2020’s shit. Focus on good and focus on help from the spirit world, we all need it more than ever. Let yourself clear so your light can shine more brightly and help us all see our way through the shit storm.

Ren Po Shun, Om Shanti

Below pictures of adorable Katherine; Nathan working on my legs when dad’s energetic junk was piled on top of slight dehydration; and my walk just now through Minor Park (south Kansas City Missouri).

You’re here.

You're here
In me
Warm and comforting
A fire within
Exciting
Cells buzzing with sensations
Fantom
Touch
Kiss
Caress
Lover's passion
Builds
Writhing
In silent
Solitary
Expectation
Your ghost
Haunts
In most beautiful ways
Senses
In overdrive
Knowing divine
Influences
Connects
Two
No more
Souls
United
A world apart
When spirit
Bridges
Space and time
Yours and mine
A union
Beyond
Union
Physically Absent
Perpetually present
Divine partnering
Accepting of all of me
My curves and edges
uniqueness
An extra sense
Beyond usual perception
Unusual openness
Oneness with others too
We're all connected
And acceptance enables
Amplified awareness
Loves' limitlessness
Beautifully complicated
Worthwhile
Infinite possibilities
Family beyond imagine
My heart feels
Your masculine right
Your feminine left
And just below
Someone
So similar to me
Anxiously Finding way
Through a blend of both
My
ET
5D
The parts of a whole
Group
My current 3D
Center stage
Excitement
As I just know
All are welcome
All would get along
With half a chance
And a bit of positive focus
I will have what I feel
And
I
Feel great
Divine
Love
Making
Stirs
Life
As I feel
Spirit into words
Owls Confer
Validation calls
I know
Soon
My bodily sensations
Will become
Physical
Manifestations
Results
Desires propulsion
It must be so
You're already here
In me now
I love you

May you sense your spiritual partners. May you be wholley accepting of divinely guided partners, even when they are fused with others beyond you (siblings, children, spouses, extended biological family, etc). May we all learn why God wants us to truly know and understand oneness and love for all. May you love freely and deeply regardless of labels or man-made constraints. May you know there is a reason for everything and a place for everyone. May you know you are here to experience this world for the divine, experience the divine for this world, and that your enjoyment of any moment bridges the gap between physical and spiritual. May you know that God loves you so much that you are supported in whatever you desire, especially loving relationships.

Siva Hir Su