Tag Archives: improving

On the surface I screwed up.

Side note: The hip/low back is not solved yet. Still in progress, but better. I will revisit it after my short shift this afternoon. For now I sit on ice.

The second topic for today is a mistake, which wasn’t a complete mistake.

On the surface I scared an older clinic client on accident. She came in nervous about the virus, and hesitant because she didn’t know me and usually saw one of the other therapists. I tried to soothe her nerves and it backfired. She got more agitated and decided to not do the massage.

So my mistake was in words intended to soothe but which failed to do so. But it caused the clinic to loose a paid appointment and the chiropractor to have an uncomfortable phone call the following day. For that I’m truly sorry, and have apologized profusely for it. I own it completely and would have done the call if it hadn’t been for the caller’s specific request.

Where it is not so much a mistake and important for me to acknowledge, is that I got what I wanted. I law of attractioned myself some fine tuning.

I realized later that all of my clients that I really enjoy working with are nearly the opposite. They are mostly healthy and always aiming for improvement, and none of them are afraid of much, let alone viral news. They are all confident in their being a part of a functioning society and life in general. I really appreciate that immensely.

Because I am so appreciative of those clients, I have attracted fewer and fewer of the opposite like the one I scared. I currently don’t have any of my nursing homes, my house calls are down to 3, and one of them spaced way further out than normal. And clinic clients that are scared generally aren’t scheduling with me to begin with, and really never did at all.

Yet at the same time I have had a gaggle of new clients that have all become regulars or at least repeat clients. A couple have admitted financial limitations, but promised they will reschedule as they are able.

So I had an uncomfortable moment with a perceived loss that ultimately helped me to acknowledge that I have stayed busy enough without any scardy cats scheduling. That feels good and like relief.

Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate anyone that has bought into the fear. In fact I feel rather sorry for them and wish I could help. But this failed appointment also reminded me that sometimes you can’t fix something for someone else even if you want to. We were so far apart in vibrational alignment that she simply could not hear me and find ease. She could not reach for a soothing place. Additionally, it would have taken me down and been very difficult on me to drop to her level. That is something I am beginning to see simply isn’t worth it. I like improvement enough that I would rather keep reaching for better, than drag myself down trying to help others find their version of better.

Lately, I even dislike conversations where people want me to commiserate with them. I find I either end up going silent, doing the “uh hmm’s”, or politely arguing with them. The latter being my least preferred response because I don’t benefit from upset clients. Sometimes though I know something so strongly to my core that I simply can’t tolerate someone trying to convince me otherwise, on the table or not. I just try to stay polite and keep it short and move on to other topics.

So all in all, my fine tuning means:

  • I’d prefer scared people to just not schedule with me at all. Same goes for people that want to commiserate or argue.
  • If they must schedule with me, then keeping their fears or arguments to themselves is important.
  • I’m perfectly okay with quiet and/or silent sessions.
  • I much prefer confident healthy people on my table.
  • I enjoy friendly people that have good conversations (I’ve had several lately over fitness, meditation, nutrition, and alternative healing choices, I like that a lot.)
  • I enjoy finding common ground with those on my table.
  • I like the relief of knowing I can help someone because we’re closer in vibrational alignment.
  • I like repeat clients a lot.
  • I like having a full schedule.
  • I really like people with stable enough finances that they tip well, and I repeat my many thank you’s for those I’ve already received.
  • I enjoy a good challenge in my work, just not so much of a challenge that it depletes me for other sessions.
  • I enjoy knowing that I am able to solve many muscular based concerns and that I know when clients need to seek additional help. I am also very grateful I have qualified chiropractors & acupuncturists to refer to in office, and other types of providers outside of the office. That is especially helpful when my skills are not enough to solve client concerns.
  • I am grateful that I have a steady flow of clients and income.
  • I am grateful for the relief I have felt this last year and look forward to more of that.
  • I am glad that I keep getting stronger and healthier to keep doing the work that I enjoy.
  • I also enjoy having the graphic design work on the side to help have more income without exhausting myself.
  • I have immensely enjoyed having time with my kids and husband and pets, and time in my garden is good too.
  • I am grateful for the knowing that I am mostly in the flow of that which is wanted and that the universe is supporting me.
  • I look forward to even more improvement.

May you all have your fine tuning moments of acknowledgement. May you see where you goofed and know how to attract corrections. May you appreciate your world and your place in it. May you continue to help move society forward. May you feel mostly good and have just the right clients continue to flow into your experience. May you have the help you need and the things you seek. May you have more fun in the process. May your skills be evident and acknowledged by others. May you feel loved and appreciated.

Siva Hir Su

Photo is not me, obviously if you’re a regular reader, but it was the closest stock image to a real massage. I dislike the images where clients are not on the table right, or it’s obviously a posed scene, it perpetuates rediculous sterotypes and misconceptions. Just FYI.

Nutrition happiness and back pain

So, this is going to be a double post day. I had two distinct topics I’ve wanted to write on for a couple of days now, but not had the time to do so. This morning I have off since it’s a holiday weekend, but I do work this afternoon at the fill in job. I’m going to attempt to get both posts done before needing to be at work.

This topic: Health journey

My morning has started with editing a pending shirt design, and then spending almost 30 min inverted.

Beyond the amusement factor, especially once cats tried to sit in my lap, I was trying to solve my back pain.

It has returned, but to a lesser degree. It had gone away, and I thought it was safe to resume working out. I did a mild run/walk only 35min, my minimum I aim for to trigger the anti-inflammatory chemistry in my body and brain. Then knowing I’ve had muscle spasms and back pain went to do yoga to stretch my hip flexors. I was doing good, and felt like things were releasing. I went to roll to my side to sit up and it spasmed again. Ouch.

I tried rolling the other direction and nothing. Okay.

Somewhere the imbalance of muscle tightness is causing muscles to spasm in a very particular way. I still feel like psoas and/or iliacus is to blame, but it’s manifesting in a less usual pattern. My obliques on the left are super tender and serratus posterior inferior has a trigger point flared in response to the primary concern. It’s just a huge mess.

After my yoga last night I foam rolled, but that only gets the superficial and 2nd layers of muscle. Then I had Nathan work on me to start chipping at the deeper layers of muscle. It helped but didn’t solve the problem.

So this morning I inverted to stretch the deepest layers.

That was more beneficial. I still have yet to release a band of muscle that I can feel, but can’t access by myself and I’m having difficulty explaining to my husband how to get to it without agony.

I’ve done it hundreds of times for others, and know the particular angle and way to apply pressure to reduce pain levels, and know it’s possible. Yet when you’re the subject and the teacher at the same time, it’s crazy.

It’s something like this: deep breath, gesture to approximate area, as he jabs I start telling him up/down/left/right/closer to the spine/etc in between gasps for air because of intense pain. I have no idea what angle his hands are at or what his posture is, or how to tell him to adjust what he is doing for it to hurt less. I’m just having to grin and bear it.

It’s been consistent enough I even considered it being kidney related. Yet if I had a kidney infection or stone it would be worse pain that would be consistent regardless of position or movement. This definitely is affected by movement and sometimes is barely noticable.

So I’m doing a salt bath and will have Nathan take another stab (pun intended) before I head into work. Hopefully my teacher half will do better so my subject half feels better. I’m also working with those Louise Hay affirmations for back pain.

Nutrition improvement.

In the other news I’ve been doing really well nutritionally. No chocolate, no grains, and extremely minimal legumes (black beans twice), even my nut/seed intake is way less and no walnuts or almonds.

Pretty much every day looks like this:

That’s 4 to 5 snack meals, depending on whether I split the veggies/peanut-butter into two. The salad dressing is homemade and has been covering about 8 of these little salads. I’ll put recipes at the end.

I still have breakfast shake and a 2nd shake later around lunch time (minimal protein and mostly green powder in coconut milk). Then dinner varies, but is all veggies like this:

So calories are as minimal as is safe. I’m not quite to the 300 calorie guy I saw interviewed in highschool, but my activity level is much higher than his was.

What is different is all the supplements that ensure adequate nutrition and boost the processes I need healing in.

  • RX Armour Dessicated Thyroid- low dose 1/day, first thing on empty stomach
  • 2 OTC allergy meds- 1x/day
  • Really good probiotic (refrigerated), 2/day
  • 3 ways to get magnesium, 8-10 pills distributed through my day
  • Bromelain and Enzyme complex for digestive support and to kill unwanted ickies- 1x/day first thing AM
  • Turmeric for anti-inflammatory, 2 pills 4x’s/day
  • Estrogen and Progesterone OTC partly for Thyroid function and partly for known hormone imbalances 1 dose/day
  • Vitex, helps balance hormones, 3/day
  • Saw Palmetto (4 doses/day) and Hyaluronic Acid (1 dose/day) to help repair my skin as I lose weight
  • Iron- I’m a woman and it helps thyroid function 1/day
  • Good quality prenatal- it’s the best ‘covers all the bases’ vitamin I have access to 1 dose= 1 pill 3x/day
  • Calcium: half tab, I only take it 2-3 times a week to aid magnesium absorption, otherwise I get too many leg cramps
  • Evening Primrose oil good source of GLA and helps hormone balance
  • Maca helps balance everything and give energy boost, 3/day
  • Omega-3 Fish Oil, aids brain, anti-inflammatory, 4/day
  • Chlorella, chellator for detox, 6 at dinner with some source cilantro
  • Vitamin C, helps immune system and absorb iron, 1/day with the iron
  • Cinnamon, Bitter Mellon, Vanadium, Gymnemea Sylvestre, Nopal Cactus, Berberine, ALA- all help with glucose management and can help heal pancreatic damage, 1 to 4 doses/day depending¬† my needs except Vanadium- only ever take that 1/day
  • Finally, Keto BHB, mineral salts shown to help shed fat. I started it when everything else was very slow to show improvement, I’ve only taken it for 5 days, so we’ll see. 3 at bedtime.

So essentially, what I’m not spending on food has gone to supplements. Most of them I’ve known for a long time and I’ve essentially added back everything I did while pregnant. Pricy, but worth the results. The only one I’m unsure of is the new BHB, hopefully it stands up to is reputation and becomes worth it.

My goal is to heal my body and eventually not need any of this except the super healthy food.

So for those dressing recipes:

Blueberry vinegrette:

  • Half pint blueberries
  • Tsp Apple Cider vinegar
  • Water (~4oz)
  • Stevia to tase (1 to 2 servings)
  • Blend with immersion blender and bottle it

Honey Mustard:

  • Tsp mustard powder
  • Tbsp or 2 vegan soy free mayo
  • Tbsp honey
  • Tsp Apple Cider vinegar
  • Salt pinch
  • Stevia (sometimes need to add when I get carried away with the mustard powder)
  • Water (~3 oz)

Dairy free Coconut Cream Ranch is another I use, but I make it following a recipe already found online. I also use a clean poppy seed dressing that’s available in grocery stores here in KC. Plus there are several green goddess type clean dressings to be found that are AIP friendly.

May you enjoy your multiple salads. May you accept eat to live over live to eat. May your health improve. May you heal your body. May you figure out solutions for your pains. May you feel good mostly. May you feel better in every way. May you know you are supported. May you have exactly what you need.

Siva Hir Su

There I go scaring people again.

So I just finished my workout for today. It was rather amusing. I walked to the park near work (Broadmoor Park) for my warmup. Once at the park I commenced my run/walk combo around the third of a mile loop. The first couple of laps I eased in gradually running short stints and walking in between. By my 3rd lap I was pushing myself to make it half way around the loop before returning to my speed walk pace.

Needless to say the cussing started, spliced in between “you can do it Treasa” and “so close, just a little further”. I had noticed a couple of ladies in the pavilion chatting. After my second lap of cussing and self pep-talk they disappeared, I guess I scared them off. I grumbled at first awareness of that, and then reminded myself that I’m on my own: no one is here to help, soothe, or encourage me on my workouts. That was more than enough justification to return to my cursing and pep-talk.

Anyway, I was happy with my results, one lap my legs actually relaxed into the running motion and I almost made it 2/3’s of the way around the loop. I was super excited for that moment, it means I’m inching towards making friends with running.

I also discovered that my tracker is now keeping a graph of my speed, that’s really nice since I’m not on a treadmill still not being able to enter any of the area gyms. Regardless, I still want to get back on treadmills, because my body is not enjoying the percussion and alignment issues caused by hard concrete and uneven terrain. My right leg wants to keep locking up and left leg has jammed into the pelvic socket a couple of times.

Anyway, here are the stats of my run. It was 9,000 of my nearly 10,000 steps for the day so far. The 15mph at the end was a fluke (maybe cell com related), because I finished the last half lap and return to work at fairly moderate walking pace for my cool down.

On another note the diet, though boring and bland is going well. I’ve been spacing my snack-meals perfectly because it has literally triggered the nauseous “you must eat now” response just like in pregnancy. That is a wonderful sign. I’m also staying on top of my selenium, seaweed, and iodine intake to combat the thyroid nodules. I’ve even restarted hormone supplements to help with that as well. Beyond that, I have finally begun to loose weight again. I’m down to 211 from 220.

Another 21 pounds and I’ll be back to my post birth weight from first pregnancy. That makes me happy. Considering I spent 20 of my 37 years at nearly 300 pounds it makes me really happy to be much smaller. Knowing no doctor would ever make a real effort to help me get there, and I’m doing it on my own even with huge health barriers is even more spectacular. KMA western medicine. You’ll figure this shit out eventually, and I’m really glad I haven’t fallen for your “here just take these pills for the rest of your life” routine.

May you have great workouts. May you have all the right words to keep pushing yourself to better, even if they are swear words. May you have evidence of your improvement as further encouragement. May you know you can do it. May you feel better and know you are healthy enough to keep going, keep trying, and keep improving. May you know you can find improved health and heal your body. May you feel better about yourself. May you believe in yourself and love yourself.

Siva Hir Su