Tag Archives: improving

“Let the walls crack, it let’s the light in” ~PINK

It’s real. The best reaction that western medicine has is a mask. Their precious vaccine has failed, and that is on top of the risks taken by those that took it. Too bad Europe was the only one with enough sense to discontinue use of them. See screen shots… Here in KC the two most populous counties have 90% and 93% vaccination rate, and we still are in the high transmission rate for the delta variant. And from my daily experience it is definitely passing rapidly, but many aren’t registering on testing.

I’m over wearing the mask because every response that medicine has had is just that- a response. By the time I was reading the news article notifying me the CDC had recommended going back to masking, I had likely already had the dammed Delta variant and here’s the kicker it didn’t show on Covid testing (for several clients too).

Two posts ago I had noted I wasn’t going to write on topics for fear of attracting worse, and here’s why.

I had caught a “sinus infection” from the one chiropractor. He had gotten tested for covid and it came back negative, his doc suggested it was a run of the mill sinus infection, especially since it was allergy season. I fared the same as him, except that where allergy-induced sinus-infections usually run less than a week for me, this one ran almost two. I wasn’t stupid and started masking immediately. Nathan was the only person to catch it from me and he ended up with Covid light, probably because he’s already in kidney failure, but it still didn’t show on Covid testing. He was tested on 2 of 3 ER trips and tested again in the Walgreens drive thru. None of them showed Covid. He had the high fever, the sinus infection, tightness in his chest, and occasional cough. It caused him to completely loose his appetite and he spent two solid weeks in bed sleeping every day away. I genuinely thought he was dieing on me. That combined with dialysis dropped his blood pressure out the bottom and he had seizures and panic attacks from low blood pressures and starvation. It was those episodes which led to 3 ER trips, one of which excised an abscess that resulted when the acupuncturist gave him herbs to kick the virus. The herb is Yin Chao and it literally pushes external influences out of the body, that pushing out process is what triggered the abscess.

It was 3 weeks of hell, which I handled amazingly well considering I was doing everything, while still doing my best to maintain my work schedule. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, caring for kids, making meals, and of course navigating the multiple trips to the ER as best as I was able.

Nathan is starting to pull back up because I kicked him in the ass verbally and made him reach for what he was doing before dialysis. I explained he was doing well enough that they almost didn’t catch the kidney failure. I told him he needed to connect with his inner self and reach for what his body needed and wanted and definitely get back to what he was doing before. I reinforced that most of his problems were acidity from starvation because he wasn’t eating. Then I kept shoving electrolyte laden waters and high quality vegan nutrition drinks at him. The combination helped him climb up and now he is trying to figure out stasis. He’s not clear yet, but much closer than any of the ER docs or dialysis docs were getting him to. If I had left it up to them he’d still be starving and just being monitored. They weren’t even very proactive on adjusting his dialysis treatments to keep his BP from dropping out the bottom. And that’s nothing to mention several stupid things we learned along the way, including the fact that the hospital was short small needles because they had all been sidlined for vaccines.

I’m over it. I did everything inside and outside the home this month, while watching my husband waste away, while doctors just watched. My kids all freaked, and both Ian and Anya asked me if Dad was dieing. I’m sure Katherine would have if she had had the vocabulary to do so.

Here’s the deal.

We all could die at any minuet. If it’s not Covid, it’s cancer, or car accident, or work accident, or any one of dozens of other viral or bacterial infections.

Yet we are alive and functional. We are all living life as best as we can, and nothing that has been done the last year and a half was a true solution. Nothing actually fixed Covid for real.

Viruses will mutate because they want to live too. If you introduce something that limits their chance of survival, they will mutate around it, every time.

If all that we as society can manage, is a response, then isn’t it high time our responses become treatments that help people kick and heal from viral infections?

That is the light through the crack in the wall.

Let go of the fear and live.

I will wear masks as needed, but I am over being afraid. I’m not afraid of this or any other disease anymore. I’m no longer afraid of Nathan dieing because I just spent a month living with a walking dead man and doing everything our household needed. I’m just not living in fear anymore.

On the same token, I deserve better than this shit. I am refusing to succumb to the fear and darkness because I deserve better. My life can only improve if I scream “F- You!” at fear and live in expectation of everything getting better.

So that is where I am aimed.

For now I’m needing to cook dinner and then get kids to bed.

May you find a way around fear. May you know you are a survivor and know how to hear your inner self to know exactly what you need. May we all see better days ahead. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Bringing the light.

This is the second post of the cluster inspired by my focused climbing up for higher vibrational alignment.

I am very grateful that I work in a clinic that is able to soothe and help people find the middle road. We collectively helped to bring some light to extremes and get people to work together… mostly anyhow!

We were able to serve a wide array of people during 2020 Covid non-sense because we were able to soothe nerves from both extremes.

We shed light on people’s fears through conversations, and helped them to see some things were being inflated and were sounding worse than that of reality. Nervous people would leave not only having had their aches and pains and headaches solved, but they would also gain relief from the scare tactics of news media. Well informed practitioners brought calm and clarity, over and over again, over the past 10 months.

We provided services that helped beyond words. When you are hurting, fears can seem bigger than they are. Once the body pain subsided, often the sense of fear and impending doom would as well. I can’t count the number of times someone would enter worked up about Covid and fall asleep on my table (some exceptions of course). Numerous people left saying that their treatment (Chiro/Acupuncture) or massage was exactly what they needed and was life changing relief on multiple levels.

Beyond that, I know that I, and at least a couple of others in the office, went out of our way to help the facility feel safe. I know I have regularly done Reiki on the building itself to clear out the energetic clutter. I have cleared when those most concerned, left behind a wake of energetics threatening to affect others. I have put massive amounts of intent and energy work into helping the space feel relaxing, feel safe, and feel secure and peaceful. I know it has helped to some degree, and my biggest wish is that I could maintain it more consistently (my own battles and schedule being the biggest hurdles for that).

For instance, one client initially wanted to refuse to wear a mask at all. He fought it, but gave in and kept returning, because he knew we were helping him. We were his trusted source for physical relief. We were not the people portrayed in the propaganda’s warnings about forcing masks. We were able to convey to him that we just had people’s safety in mind and we were doing our best to meet everyone’s needs. He begrudgingly wore a mask which he wrote TRUMP on in sharpie marker, but conceded we had no malice in making him wear one while in the building. He found understanding for our version of the middle path.

Another client, I’ll reference as Anxiety lady. She simply couldn’t hear me at first, but kept coming to the clinic. She refused to see me for services, but continued utilizing other practitioner’s services. Eventually, she did catch it and realized it really wasn’t that bad. She’s realized we weren’t just trying to be “on the other side” and we were genuinely trying to inform her. Even though she has yet to schedule with me, I’m confident she will eventually. I might look like the propaganda, sometimes looking a bit hippie-ish, but I was well informed and I did speak truth. The propaganda’s messages never account for that. She has to see that, and now that she’s also survived the Vid, she’ll eventually get over whatever prejudices she’s held onto this far. Plus, she does see the clinic as helping her, and the clinic wouldn’t keep someone around if they weren’t helping. Again clarity eventually comes, even when fear does it’s best to drown it out. But ultimately it is more a result of the clinic as a whole being able to maintain a clear picture of the middle path, of doing our best for as many people as possible. That is the biggest influence of all.

I really do appreciate working in an environment where we work together to meet as many needs as possible. I also really enjoy working somewhere where people do acknowledge the imperfections of western medicine, and do their best to provide the tools and resources they know to help compensate. We’re saying “we’re in this mess with you, let’s keep woes to the best minimum possible, and work together to reach for feeling better. Let’s all reach for better alignment together.”

That message is vital to feeling supported and included, during a time when media would love to see us tear each other apart.

I love that the clinic isn’t hung up on vaccines being a savior, because we all acknowledge their imperfections as well. I love that we regularly speak truths of health, guiding people to many options that can help them maintain better overall health. I love that all the practitioners are well informed on nutrition, exercise, stretching, supplies and supplements that can help with improving health.

I love that I work with a staff of people all doing their best to not only maintain or improve their own health, but that willingly work towards that goal with their clients as well. I love that I work in an environment that is focused on living the best life you can, it’s a massive improvement over helping people ease out of life gently.

May you enjoy where you work. May you see all the positives of your work and appreciate those around you, both co-workers and clients. May you know that life will continue to give you what you focus on, so focusing on the best is really the only way to go. May you find your middle road towards common ground. May you know we’re all just trying to find our best path through life. May you have all the tools and resources you need to find your own health and even help others do the same. Above all, may you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

All the things.

This week I have done all the things to fix the depression I’ve been fighting.

  • I exercised as much as I could humanly fit in (4 times). It helped.
  • I meditated every day and focused on mantras while doing my sessions with clients. It helped.
  • I colored a picture between clients for decompression and a sigh of relief. I finally finished one I had started in June. It helped.
  • I watched all the P’s and Q’s of my dietary needs. It helped.
  • I finally got my sleep window back. The person that was staying with us left for a few days to try another possible solution for her. Her stuff and dog are still with us for the moment, but her sleep cycle was so off it had been affecting mine, and she was not able to correct that on her own. I hope her most recent choices are helping with that. I know having solid sleep again helped me a lot.
  • I did the infrared treatments with workouts. It helped.
  • I cuddled with kitties and played with my kids.
  • I took cannabis gummies CBD+THC as needed.
  • I took all my supplements and even resumed using progesterone cream. I started the cream back up after a bout of dizziness. After 2 adjustments, doc told me to do epley’s maneuver to try and fix it. After a few tries that solved much of the dizziness, but not all. So my next guess was low progesterone again. After a good heaping dose of cream the dizziness subsided. So now I’m doing my best to remember to use it every day again. I had to use it during pregnancy and between having my two children, but since Katherine was born I have not been good at using it consistently. Apparently I need to. It has helped.
  • I scheduled an appointment with a doc to get my thyroid meds renewed. I’ve been stretching doses and compensating with iodine and seaweed. It is not a perfect fix, so the script being renewed will help some. Even with the script my needs fluctuate. There is no perfect fix in western medicine, but the script does make it somewhat easier. It will help.
  • I will have some proper socializing this afternoon. The second instance in 9 months (outside of my mom’s visit and talking to my husband daily).
  • Finally, I righted my sunshine deprivation. I had gone too many days where all daylight hours were spent inside working. I sat with my eyes to the sun yesterday morning before my first client. It was about 40 min of glorious sunshine. It helped, but I took it a step further since we are in gloomy winter and sun is unreliable. So, after my workout last night, I made friends with a tanning bed for the first time in my life. My gym membership includes access to one, so I tried 5 min. I’m glad I started there as my sun starved skin turned a tinge pink. Between the two sources of light yesterday I do feel significantly better, and I told my husband it helped enough I will do it again.

With all 12 elements, I feel safely out of the hole, but there is still a lingering nagging blanket of negativity that I am aware of. The blanket is no longer threatening to silence me, but it hasn’t been destroyed. I still don’t know the source, only that it is taking literally every ounce of everything I’ve got to keep it at bay.

I now know for certain that I am capable of saving my own life, and I can and do frequently fight off depression on my own. This time I needed one person to take a relatively small action for me and it was a huge relief. I am glad that I reached out and asked for that help.

Most of the time I know that when depression wins, it’s because of a major failure on my part- usually with the diet exercise combo. This time I had had no such huge failures, even Thanksgiving was extremely close to my dietary needs. So, it still leaves me feeling like the negativity is external. Maybe it’s a sense of the collective still being in fear, maybe it’s a sense of those around me that are struggling, maybe it’s collecting too much from clients, and maybe it’s really some of all of it.

All I know is that I am having to do everything perfectly to even keep it at a safe distance.

Abraham tells us that with practice it’s supposed to get easier. For me it hasn’t. It’s easier for me to figure out how to fit everything in now, but the practice is as complex as ever, and having to be perfect is not evidence of becoming easier.

Where’s my ‘it gets easier’ Abraham?

Just curious.

Anyway, may you have easier, simpler puzzles to maintain your mental-health. May you have a generally easy go of life in general. May you be happy and healthy mostly. May you love and enjoy your life.

Om Shanti