Tag Archives: inner knowing

Suga’ Breathe… That’s for me.

Still working on pulling up. Had some thoughts of the progress sort, and wanted to share them. I’m feeling like poems fit the bill.

The first poem is building on the meditation concept from yesterday, where the in breath was “I am greater than my body” and out breath was “I am greater than my mind”. Each line of the poem is intended as one breath in or out.

The second poem was a result of contemplating my stress induced unhelpful food choices of late, and how to correct.

In between is a very applicable song, and one that helps me a lot.

The title picture for the post is me wearing a 2X shirt. It was a free marketing ‘gift’. I used to completely fill shirts that size once upon a time. Now I feel like I’m wearing a tent. It was a moment of appreciation of my progress and a helpful distraction.

Breathe:Know
(A meditation in poetry)

In: I am
Out: me

I Am
Here
I am
Present
I am
Connected.

I am
Energy
I am
Light
The Fire
That fuels
My
Being,
Inspires
Life.

I am
Matter
I am
Atoms
And
Nuclei,
That which
Grounds
My body
In Now.

I am
Water
Flowing
Through
Veins
Carrying
Oxygen
And nutrients,
Flowing
In and out
Cells' walls.

I am
Air,
Breath
Filling
Lungs,
Inspiration
In action,
Stirring
Processes
To solutions.

I am
Whole
I am
Me
I am
Greater
Than what
Is seen
I am
Divine
In flesh.

I am
Where
Above
Meets
Below,
Sky
Meets
Land,
Spirit
Meets
Flesh,
In between,
The cusp of
The veil,
The brim of
The vortex.

I am
Beautiful
I am
Love,
Venus'
Soul
As
Woman,
Creative
Power
Is mine.

I am
Strong
I am
Capable
I do
More
I reach
For
Greater.

I am
Better
I am
Well,
I heal
Inside
And out,
Top to
Bottom,
Front to
Back,
Left, Right,
And everything
In between.

I am
Me
Growing
Doing
Being
Improving
Healing
Moving
All
I am

~ Treasa Cailleach

See the Suga'

Chocolates, peanut butter cups
Rice, pastas, breads
Peaches, apples, berries galore
All sweetness
Craved
By taste buds.

A symptom of
Imbalance.
Cravings,
A desire to
Restore balance.
Cravings stir
Addictions
When efforts
Become futile
Cycles.

The imbalance
Too much bitter
Outside self.
The body knows
There must be sweetness
Somewhere.
The craving starts.
A void of sweetness
No food can fill.
If one uses food
Addiction is certain
Endless cycles
Of unfulfilled
Cravings

Real solutions
Are to see the
Sweetness
Everywhere
Possible

If bitterness
Fills experience
Then sweetness
Must rise to
Balance
Bitter experience
If sweet fills diet
Then bitter
Must rise to
Balance
Sweet diet

Yin
Balances
Yang
Or eventually
Excess
Manifests
Deficiency
Natural cycles
Will always
Work towards
Correcting
Restoring
Balance

See the Suga'
Taste the bitter
Right wrongs
Fill voids
Properly
Restore
Balance
Of Self

~ Treasa Cailleach

One last tidbit: Be kind to yourself. Knowing concepts, and being able to navigate their use in times of crisis, are two very different and separate things. Often we know what to do, but have difficulty accomplishing those things when life erupts. Forgive yourself for your lapses and allow others to help when you fail. Hopefully we all have someone willing to help when we fail. We all need someone sometimes.

May you see your improvement. May you find your inner self easily. May you have enough energy, time, and resources for anything you need or desire to do. May you feel better easily and maintain it mostly. May you find your balance and honor and respect yourself. May you find all the ways to see the sweetness and give yourself some much needed love. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Inked commitments

I see a lot of ink in my job, in fact sometimes I recognize somebody’s face, but I don’t really remember who they are until they get on the table and I see their ink. This week one of my irregular clients was in. I’ve seen her 2 or 3 times over the last year and half, so I didn’t immediately remember her. She has a tattoo that reads: “I am my own before I am anyone else’s”. That helped me remember and in prior sessions she was fairly quiet.

Her tattoo, however, made me think about commitments in a big way. Not just the commitment of ink, but in the message it, and she, conveyed.

She spoke of having a fiancee, someone she cared about and was committed to, but then she also spoke about not getting married ever. She referenced all the problems that happen in regards to marriage. She spoke mainly of financial concerns based on a book she had read encouraging people to navigate the system in beneficial ways. They were all thoughts that had crossed my mind early in mine and Nathan’s relationship. She’s right, there are lots of reasons to not want to get married. I have experienced some of them in my own marriage and in watching my parents marriage. Financial concerns, strife and arguments being the biggest factors that I’ve noticed in mine and my parents marriages.

I admired her commitment to herself, and genuinely hope that it works out for her. For me I see the compromise that we make just living life, and acknowledge that myself comes first in most ways, all which I’m able, but it’s still life. My goal is to live my best life and take care of myself as best as possible, but in some cases that means extra challenges. It is that which leaves me acknowledging there are also lots of reasons to do the commitment of marriage. That is why many of the old masculine paradigm are still drawn to it.

Even the government acknowledges that once you’ve lived together, shared finances for so long, and had children, you’re essentially already married. And let’s face it if you’re that entwined, augments are inevitable to some degree. Most states acknowledge this with “common law” marriage rules. And let’s be honest if you’re having children, either you’re living together and sharing everything anyway, or you’re separated and one parent is automatically the non-custodial parent. Said parent has limited visitation and limited rights and required financial commitments (child support). States do frequently pursue child support from non-custodial parents even when marriage was never addressed, and often when there were supposedly amicable agreements. On the other hand, if you’re living together you share all the rights and all the responsibilities, and it’s still up to both of you, as to how that is handled. The choice of getting married or staying unmarried doesn’t do anything to solve the puzzle of having children. There are pros and cons to both sides of that fence, and if you want to be an active participant in your childrens’ lives then common law or traditional marriage are your only real options. Otherwise you get the short end of the stick in most ways, and still have to pay for them.

In mine and Nathan’s marriage it has meant a big factor was making certain that his daughter would be cared for should anything happen to him. Right now due to legalities he is solely responsible for education and medical concerns for her, and has been since her mom died. However because her mom is already deceased, if anything happened to Nathan, all I would have to do is present both death certificates to proper governing bodies and assuming there were no other petitions for custody, I would be granted legal guardianship. It has been a huge relief factor considering Nathan’s health concerns beginning early in our relationship, starting 6 months after we decided to marry. There have been other concerns over children as well, since I’ve now produced two more of them.

Yet we are polyamorous.

Polyamory struggles with this conundrum because in most of the United States only one marriage is legal. So, you play the dance of trying to decide: 1-do I marry one person and call everyone else my significant other, or 2- do I marry none legally and just have a bunch of significant others, or 3- do I marry no one legally and hand-fast my partners to have multiple non-legal spouses.

It creates hierarchical structure concerns, and then when children get involved, it creates further custody and responsibility concerns for every adult in the family. United States law simply has not addressed polyamory in any way to date. So, most polyamorous families end up attempting to solve the problem with legal guidance, and legal documentation, to sometimes still have biological grandparents/aunts/uncles throw kinks into postmortem processes. There have been more than a few polyamorous families, and many polygamist families, end up in long legal battles after one adult passed away.

That is why Nathan and I drug our heals at making the commitment. We both acknowledged that marriage was a huge risk by itself, and being poly from the onset of our relationship made it an even larger risk as a commitment. We discussed it for hours on end, many times over 4 years, before finally sealing the deal. We weighed pros and cons and all the risks of both sides.

For me it boiled down to love. I knew I loved Nathan and his daughter enough to take every last one of the scary risks we had acknowledged, especially after his miserable divorce completed. I was willing to walk through fire if it meant they knew I loved them and wanted the best that I could manage for them.

I also knew that my own health battle meant I regularly fought both inside and outside of myself. My brain was frequently intent on making me see the worst in everything and it would often cause a strong desire for either death, suicide, or escape, no matter the circumstances. I knew that for me the commitment had to be extra hard to get out of, mostly to make certain I would fight hard enough to win the war waged in my brain and emotions. I wanted to make sure that my inner me, who loved them truly and deeply, had a trigger in my mental sphere to encourage the fight for good. I didn’t want the negative ninny in my brain to win simply because it was easy to escape. Marriage ultimately became my insurance to fight for my own life and to keep reaching for the love I knew was there.

I knew my love for Nathan and his daughter was worth fighting for. Every good moment felt amazing. Every time my brain was in a good space, there wasn’t a shred of doubt that I loved them. It was a deeply felt knowing, that when my brain was clear, was easy access. I wanted to preserve that even when my brain malfunctioned, and being married with divorce as a consequence enabled me to win against my brain over and over again.

To this day I still acknowledge that divorce really would do me no good. It won’t solve the role of finances and could make it even worse. It won’t solve my brain’s function. It won’t make taking care of myself any easier. It won’t be helpful for children, and could potentially traumatize all of us. Divorce simply won’t fix anything that is broken, and could lead to even greater damages. So it is still my safety net to continue to fight the good fight for love. May it always work and love overcome all.

I hope that one day there will be another that feels as I do, and we can commit through all of those legal hoops, to make a solid attempt at protecting a poly family. Anyone willing to go through that definitely has love and all of our best interests at heart.

May you always know how to put yourself first and care for yourself as fully as life allows. May you know that occasionally legal commitment is the route to enable that. May you know that not all commitments must be legal to be truly valid, that a commitment is really demonstrated in many ways on a daily basis, sometimes as simply as surviving the rough parts. May you know that everything has a reason and a purpose, and that our goal here on Earth is to find ways to improve upon everything as best as we are able. May you see that improvement in yourself and know that you win a war every time that your brain would prefer you don’t. Regardless of your decisions may you see that everything works out just as you need. Above all my you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Cartoon Energetics

I wanted to write a bit about how I’m impressed by current animated experiences. It seems that screen time is more frequently being produced by people with a higher awareness of our expansive world, and I’m very appreciative of that.

That being said, my thoughts on this topic originally started because of watching “She-Ra” with my kids. It is imperative that I acknowledge most of the elements in the current “She-Ra” series were also present in the original “Masters of the Universe” series from the early 80’s, and merely got a face-lift to match current real world concerns.

So, what am I talking about?

I am talking about the element of cartoons that addresses the magical portion of our life experiences. I am talking about the elements within cartoon stories that address how to utilize the energetic world and God force.

For example, in the 2018 She-Ra, Adora channeled her magical She-Ra self, first by holding the sword up and saying the right phrase, then the crown appears with it’s shiney jewel, and then the sword lights up with power, which triggers full transformation. However this is just a slight update from the 1980’s “Masters of the Universe” series.

In the original series He-Man and She-Ra both raise their swords and say the correct phrase and convert fairly instantly. Yet, She-Ra still got the shiney crown and jewel, but He-Man turned barbarian. Both still became stronger and superhuman.

I personally am very glad that the new series updated that moment. Mainly because the original implied it was barberous for men to use magic, but grandeur for women to use magic. When, as in the new version, gender has nothing to do with it- I really appreciate that. I would also argue He-Man might have done better with the crown activated. You see that, to use real God force energy, we all must activate our crown and third-eye first.

God force can flow, and cause some fairly magical results. You will never see the real version look the way it does in those cartoons, and it won’t enable you to hoist a castle like He-Man did, but it will do things for you that you can never do just as your plain human self, and it can make you stronger than usual.

The Reiki that I practice daily with clients utilizes that God force energy I’m talking about, and I have seen it do amazing things for clients, especially in regards to their muscles. But it has to be used properly or it can cause problems.

I do have to activate my crown chakra and then my third eye chakra to get the energy flowing, just like She-Ra. It feels warm and fuzzy and wonderful. I utilize specific phrases, which are essentially prayers in Japanese (which is why english speakers often refer to them as symbols, if you aren’t used to seeing/reading Japanese they might as well be), but that too is just like She-Ra. Once the energy is flowing, I use more phrases to tell it what to be or do, just like when She-Ra changed her sword into shield, rope and many more useful things.

It really is so similar that I knew the cartoon makers were either well informed or had experienced energy work. Especially since these particular elements apply to any version of energy work, even Healing Touch which uses biblical prayers and phrases.

So where do the problems come in?

Just like when Adora was “trying to learn to be She-Ra”, things don’t always go as planned. She accidentally turned her sword to a vase in training, and sometimes it didn’t deploy when she needed it. Even though She-Ra was already a part of her, she didn’t have full control and couldn’t rely on it. Eventually that worked itself out and in the end she didn’t even need the physical device that primarily functioned as a sword. She eventually channeled every bit of all of it, out of thin air, to do absolutely wonderous things.

Energy work is the same way. I’ve had moments where it didn’t deploy when I needed it (usually because I was too fatigued or unfocused). Additionally, if it isn’t used properly, I’ve seen it do all kinds of things. I’ve seen people drain watch and clock batteries, make lights flicker, and accidentally cause plant overgrowth. All because they were not using energy work correctly. For you see, activating your crown and third eye, tells God that you want to do good for God and only use divine energy for the task at hand. That ensures that you don’t pull energy from your environment and drain batteries. It also can help with the sensations for clients. Those that are sensitive to EMF frequencies tend to have dizziness, nausea, and other weird responses to environmentally sourced energy. However, those same clients tend to notice God force in the best ways and often know instantly that you have a divine gift (though rarely say anything unless they’ve been to another practitioner already). As for the plant overgrowth, it tends to be from a lack of focus for the practitioner. If you aren’t focused on the client and let your mind wander too much, you essentially over-water your own environment, and anything in it can benefit some. It’s not a horrible thing, but if your goal was to help a paying client, then you didn’t do them full justice.

So, yes She-Ra really impressed me with their depictions of utilizing energy for good deeds. One day we may have a world full of She-Ra’s. For now the strength I glean enables me to work longer hours, use more pressure than the average massage therapist (without doing harm), and occasionally I take advantage of it’s benefits for hoisting my husband into the air, or taunting him or friends from across the room. It’s quite wonderful once you begin to master it.

But Wait, There’s More!

I watched the Netflix original “MUNE” with my kids. It was really good and cute BTW. It too delves into magic energies, but in a slightly more fantastical way. Really though, there were two elements that caught my attention. One was where the character Mune used his gift to put babies to sleep and create happy dreams. The other was the final fight scene between the two big burly guys (over simplification of their description).

The gift to use energy to put babies to sleep and make pleasant dreams is real. I’ve done it with the Reiki myself. Now, when your baby has been screaming for hours from starvation due to a major reduction in breast milk, even powerful energy work will fail. But, when the baby is just cranky because they need a nap, it works like a charm. Nathan and I have put all our kids to sleep, many times over, with energy work, and it ensures long nights of undisturbed happy dreaming. It also works on us adults, Nathan regularly helps me fall asleep when I’ve had a rough day or I’m battling other people’s Energetics. I am extremely grateful we have both learned how to use this amazing gift.

Finally, that over simplified fight scene. It was between two hulk’s, one larger and angrier. The one that held all the anger seemed at first to be winning, and almost brought the lesser hulk to the dark side. But, the magic won and the smaller of the two calmed himself back into the focused fight of light over darkness. In the end it was a combination of the smaller finding his light again, and Mune using a little of his sweet dreams magic that enabled a solid win for the divine side. They joined forces in a quite magical way to ensure that the world would be safe and happy forever more.

It was a good reminder to me. It reminded me that it’s not just strength needed to win, you also need to know you are fighting the good fight. It’s not just muscle that is needed in a battle, you also need the finesse of a magical touch or talent. We all need to allow our magical selves to shine brightly. Show the world our inner-beings and what we’re truly made of, so that we can really do good for this world. Only if we find our gifts, and utilize them to our fullest potential can we overcome the darkness that constantly threatens our dreams.

May you have good reminders in your experience for just what you are capable of. May you understand your magical, gifted, energetic self, and know exactly how to bring that forth. May you know how to utilize all of your gifts to their fullest potential. If you don’t already, then may you find just the right teacher to figure it out. May you master all of your skills and find that they help you create the world of your dreams. May we all join forces too combat the darkness in our world for God’s sake. May you know that we are headed towards brighter days. Above all, may you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do and every bit of who you are.

Om Shanti