Tag Archives: inner voice

Merely a Tool for Introspection

So for the last 15 or so years I’ve occasionally pulled cards for clarity on inner guidance. Tonight I had a couple of hours to myself and decided to do just that.

My husband has always found my card readings to be very entertaining, and needless to say I never read for others only me and him. I rarely use set layouts, and the deck of choice depends on the day. Heck sometimes I’ve even used more than one deck in a single reading- I remember one time I was trying to figure out something fairly complex and involved 4 decks at once. For me I listen to my inner voice for guidance, and if I’m looking for particular info I say that as I’m shuffling and picking decks.

Tonight my request for clarity was on all things of late. I set intention for the top row to represent 2 people (top left & center) and myself (top right) with supporting info along the bottom row.

I used a new deck that Nathan had recently ordered through Wish- just for fun & to see if it would be helpful.

I set the aforementioned intention as I shuffled & as soon as I “heard” my inner voice/thought-dialogue say “cut”, I did just that. Then proceeded to lay cards in the order intended while shuffling.

I got the following layout:

The lighting sucked and was making it hard to see, so I carefully gathered everything and moved to the bedroom with all the lights on. Much better, but as I was re-laying the cards a single card fell off the deck, so I included it to the side & took an individual picture.

At that point Buddy decided he wanted loves and made himself very comfortable with utter disregard to what I’d started. It was OK. I petted whilst I looked at cards and looked things up.

I always start with my first blush impression:

 I noted that the 3 cards intended for people matched their genders, but there was a 4th woman “Empress” in the supporting info cards- I had a guess as to whom that might be (my great friend helping plan backup birth solutions).

 I knew that the top left card generally has to do with illusionary limitations or restrictions, so that person was likely dealing with that in some way, which did make sense to me. 

I noted that an awful lot of the cards were upside down: not always a bad thing, it can simply represent an over arching theme of feeling like things are upside down, which I must say is accurate from my perspective.

I noticed the lovers card, which was unintended validation of a portion of my quandary.

I noticed a theme of financial queries, which again is unintended validation of related concerns- though I myself wish it wasn’t.

Finally, my extra card was a simplified traditional version of my life goal. Home and family and prosperity. Yet what struck me the most was the baby and dog. I’ve been “dogged” by thoughts and messages involving dogs since my healing dream last summer, and I’m pregnant with baby. Hmm.

The last thing of note was the big cat of strength. That of Big Cats, like the dog, has been a common theme for me, reoccurring very frequently since last summer.

Those elements of dog & big cat, they are not readily defined in tarot meanings. I suspect they are either representative of a real figure/being (adopting a dog, the mountain lioness that lives around us, etc), or represent personalities at play for me in real people. Either way, this reading only reiterated, not giving a clearer meaning on that.

So, then I looked up details. I felt the clearest most easily understood definitions of each card were the ones I found through Biddy Tarot, though I did look at several other pages in my process.

I must say after reading each meaning especially considering the reversed meanings, I do feel like this was a helpful reading. It does give me some clarity.

And yes, “strength” reversed in my own spot is accurate: I do need to stop doubting and second guessing myself and relax back into my inner knowing and resulting strength. That really was the basis of even taking these couple of hours for introspection. I knew I’d  slipped in that realm, and having a physical validation of that helps.

So, regardless of the accuracy of the rest of the cards, I’m walking away with: keep listening to my inner me, and keep reaching for that 10 of pentacles/coins happy ending gift. I’d totally take the dog, dome home, and extended family living happily ever after. More trusting and more patience. Things will get better, one way or another.

May all of you find your personal tool(s) of introspection and reliably connect with your inner self.

You’re safer than they want you to think.

I’ve made the mistake of watching the news several times this week, and it’s made me fairly livid at least a couples of times.

I’m totally over all of the scare tactics, and news articles that are essentially scary commercials for drugs. Furthermore. It’s not brand specific, I only ever watch FOX by others’ choices, but I’ve seen ABC, NBC, CBS, and CNN on my own accord this week, all with similar results.

So far this flu season Nation-Wide:

A total of 20 influenza-associated pediatric deaths have been reported for the 2017-2018 season. See here.

7% of all deaths that occurred during the week ending December 23 were due to pneumonia and influenza. This is above the rate considered normal for this period… see here (though just barely by the charts and graphs available on the CDC page)

That’s out of 60,161  reported cases. 

That’s not even considering the many hundreds of thousands of unreported cases because people didn’t choose to go to their doctor and get tested to confirm it was flu. 

Keep in mind my one facility had 2 viral runs, either or both of which, could have been flu, but neither was tested for confirmation. Beyond that online office visits are now on the rise, and none of those include testing for viral confirmation. Furthermore, the last time I did need to go in to a doctor for being sick they treated based upon symptoms skipping the test to save time and save me money. This time I, like many thousands of people, chose to stay home and treat with over the counter options. So let’s assume that one in two people took the test to find out it was indeed a flu strain (probably a gross underestimation), then that 7% death toll is actually 3.5%; though it’s worded “of all deaths” reported to the CDC for that week, so potentially it’s still off but just considering that deaths in homes or accidents would not be tabulated, for quite some time really. Essentially the 7% would only be those people that died of disease in a hospital, as those are the only numbers that are reported in real time, so still not likely an accurate percentage for flu/pneumonia vs total population. We have not lost 7% of our population in the last month of influenza, not even close!

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statics.

Beyond that, have you noticed that every news story ends in a plug for the vaccine (which they’ve admitted is at best 30% effective-3rd year running) and Tamiflu, which still has much inconclusive data in world research governing bodies.

They’re trying to scare you into using your insurance or cold hard cash to spend on those products because people are wiseing up and refusing to waste their money on ineffective treatments (at best, hazardous at worst).

….

To prove a point:

40,200 people died in accidents involving motor vehicles in 2016 
Number of deaths for leading causes of death, 2015 final totals:

  • Heart disease: 633,842
  • Cancer: 595,930
  • Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 155,041
  • Accidents (unintentional injuries): 146,571
  • Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 140,323
  • Alzheimer’s disease: 110,561
  • Diabetes: 79,535
  • Influenza and Pneumonia: 57,062
  • Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome and nephrosis: 49,959
  • Intentional self-harm (suicide): 44,193



So essentially, you have just as much of a risk of dieing from a car accident or suicide as the flu. Furthermore, you are currently 10 times as likely to die of heart disease or cancer as any one of the other 3 causes. Not to mention 3 times as likely to die of other accidents/unintentional-injuries. However, how many flu-style-news-articles do you see in a week about car accidents, suicide victims, heart disease, or cancer? And yes those news articles do exist, but with far, far less frequency.

They want you to be afraid because it makes them more money than if you just paid attention to your own body and went in only when you needed treatment. The catch is don’t be one of the stupid ones that brushes it off a few days too long, ignores the wheezing too long, or allows themselves to be overly dehydrated and under nourished while fighting off a simple illness- those are really the causes of dieing from the flu. Well treated, well rested, well hydrated, well nourished people that allow their bodies down time to heal- very, very rarely die from something like the flu. It’s not impossible, but your risks in that situation are miniscule. Be reasonable, and be responsible for yourself and you’re likely to be just fine in a few days

This brings me to my final thoughts.

I spend nearly all of my waking time these days working with people that have made it into their 80’s, 90’s, and 100’s. No short supply of them either, a whole generation made it through the myriad of scary life ending possibilities.
They are so old they no longer care to do anything but sleep, and many of them verbally wish to die. However, for whatever myriad of reasons they’re unable to relax into a peaceful accepting place to go home to God. They sit miserable day after day, when we as staff are doing our level best to improve their quality of life. I’ve discovered that quality of life is really dependent upon what an individual wants and desires, and all my efforts are futile when the cared for can’t even tell me what their wants and desires are. I want to help, but can’t because I have no idea what’s going on in their minds due to lack of communication (mostly a very conscious choice, very few of my people are truly unable to communicate).
So, then I wonder, would it really be that awful if someone allowed themselves to succumb to flu, or heart disease, or cancer, or the myriad of other ways that one could die. It would eliminate the self induced misery they experience daily. My wish is for everyone to be happy and at peace, and if going home to god is the only way you’ll allow that to happen, then maybe it’s time to do just that, in whatever way possible.
Beyond that, even when speaking of younger people, who’s to say that a person’s death isn’t needed or planned on the divine level. Our mortal brains are simply unable to comprehend beyond our own limited view and knowledge. My personal opinion is that many of the life end battles people (young or old) go through might just be futility in the first place; and why waste the time, effort, energy, and often risk of severe pain, just to end up dead anyway. I personally think your conversation with god is worth more than any drug on the planet when it comes to living vs dieing.
That being said, if I’d truly thrown  in the towel with my depression, I’d have died years ago. The difference is I knew, deep down, that I needed to find the solution and figure out how to live happily. There was a small part of me that knew I wasn’t done, and that tiny voice kept me trying. I think that tiny voice was the smallest shred of my connection to god, and I’m glad I listened.
So how does one threatened with a deadly disease tell the difference? Only that person would know and be able to tell. If someone knows it’s their time, we should not be ones to argue. They simply must listen for their own inner knowing, that small voice of certainty. That is what really matters in life or death battles. That is the difference that’s needed to tell if a battle even needs fought. And if the answer is fight, then fight with all you’ve got, but keep listening to the little voice, it’ll give you the answers to make the fight just a bit easier. If the answer is relax and go with whatever god chooses, then do that. I think our current society is being called to return to listening to our inner voice in all ways, even when well meaning people want to offer “solutions” to what they see as your “problem”. Our inner voice is the only thing that can really tell us those things to reduce pain and suffering.
Of course, this is all my opinion and speculation. I’m certain the medical establishment would argue with me (especially since I work in it), so take my words with a grain of salt. I just hope you find your own knowing and the resulting peace it brings. One day we’ll all treat only what needs treated, and support all the rest with trust in the divine energy that pervades everything.