Tag Archives: law of attraction

We are okay.


Co-operative components
Assembling
Courage and inspiration
Voiced
Calm knowing turns
To decisive action

Thoughts
Feelings
Sensations
Pleasure
Intoxication
Sans fluids

Dreams and desires
May be futility
But heart's
Desires
Grow heedlessly

Warmth
Buzzes
Tingles
Of delight
Expansion

Leapless leaps
Hugs with no arms
Kisses without lips
Touches without hands
Embraced by thin air

All are
Symptoms
Of sense beyond
Present
Old news

All are
Knowing
Of a
Perfect world
Far beyond
This

Current
Reality
A false pretense
Of past
Manifested
Emotions

Old news
Is no news
Imagine
A Wonka dream
Worlds' paradise

Even if
Dreams stay
Floating clouds
Tis better
To have felt

Hearts
Desire
To feel love
To feel
Ecstasy

Sometimes
Only God Can
Provide
Heart's strongest
Desire
And it's okay that way.

~Treasa Cailleach

Fairly straightforward, but stems from reconnecting with my vortex today. I was able to pull up and focus strongly on my vortex by using the phrase “in a perfect world _______”. It was a beautiful day with sun shining, monarch butterflies flying, hawks screeching, and good conversation with clients at the clinic and residents in independent living. Today was a good day and I look forward to many more like it. I felt a couple of my others in a much better way today and enjoyed it much more, but regardless I found me, myself and I, and observed myself in this beautiful world.

A lunch break walk around the pond by the 2nd job was wonderful and relaxing. The smell of smoke from distant forest fires temporarily caused mild distress and I reminded myself that the fires often lead to new growth. I reminded myself that sometimes the old must die to make room for the new, and if man hadn’t started them God would have used lightening to do so, just like my virus laden cells needing to die to generate much needed healing. I also reminded myself that I love the smell of fire when it’s a small controlled one in my yard or fireplace, destructive forces are not always the chaos that they seem and can be very beneficial to that which they touch.

God is ultimately the one that controlls that process the most, and faith is all that is needed to survive as God intends, as some us survive by allowing our physical self to die. For me it seems only part of me needs to die, and I trust that God will help me navigate the effects of that process in the gentlest most functional way. I will do my best to stay focused on the relaxed, feeling good, enjoyable parts of my experience, and know that it is all okay regardless.

I am where I am and it’s the first step of the journey to where I would like to be.

May you know it’s all okay. May you trust God’s process and guidance. May you feel mostly good and be able to focus on the good in your experience. May you enjoy life mostly. May you see your way through challenges and see the solutions you seek. May you know you are healing and headed for better days. May you know that God loves and supports you.

Siva Hir Su

Allowing what higher-self wants

Post medical rantings, I have done my best to focus on what I want. That beautiful healthy venus body I wrote of in my post “Turning Point” on August 19th, 2020, is in the forefront. I can really feel myself beginning to align with that body. I’m starting to see it in the mirror and especially when I look at old pictures.

When Anya was itty-bitty I looked like this:

Nearly 300 pounds.

Now I look like this:

Me with Katherine a few nights ago. The scale still reads 215, but my body is definitely much more lean than previous having worked ferociously to build muscle.

Yet it is more than that. I have thought about touch, and my intense feelings over touching and being touched by those that care. I have contemplated what love looks like to me and how others might see it. I have thought about keeping my word to God for doing good in this world. I have thought about my community and my role in the clinic, and my desires to own a business and potential near future decisions to make. I have though about my old desires of significant others that would help run businesses. I have thought about how I wanted to see my daily life playing out. I have thought about all of it.

Each and every instance, I reach for the moments in the here and now that match best, the closest confirmations of my progress. Where I have difficulty making things match those desires, I am doing my best to focus on what I want, and how I would adjust the current reality to match.

It has helped me focus in a big way and I am finding a sensation of alignment with my higher self more and more.

I still have challenging moments, feelings of futility or overwhelment, as in my posts from last week. I still feel, in moments which I can’t control the chaos, as maybe it is someone or something else’s influence and it tends to frustrate or infuriate me. Then I have to step back and realize that my higher self would be in control if I let it. One day there will be less of a delayed reaction and I’ll be able to stabilize faster.

Then there’s my kids and trying to help them navigate the energetic world. Anya pointed out a pattern where Ian displayed certain behaviors and I would react with certain phrases; I have been doing my best to step back and reach for alternative options to try and find a lasting solution. I am also trying to teach him things that I do to stop myself and realign when I know I’ve fallen off the positive wagon. I want so much to master myself quickly so that I can teach him the same successfully. He is so smart and right now he is still letting negative win more often than allowing positivity to win. I want so much for him to flip the scales and let the positives win. I will keep reminding myself of my beautiful little boy and his ability to experience joy and that he is super smart and has a big heart when it is allowed to shine brightly. I love my kids very much.

Ian’s first smile caught on camera (not actually his first smile).
Anya burying Ian (2 y.o.) at the KC Fun Farm corn pit, they were having a most excellent day.

And then there’s my Nathan. He’s my biggest challenge because I care so darn much for him. Everytime I see him struggling, be it: fatigue, plain jane illness, swelling in his feet from heart or kidney concerns, or even just seeing him loose his cool; I get upset and frustrated and sometimes loose my cool. It’s a knee jerk reaction because I love him and my brain wants to tell me he wouldn’t slip so much if he really cared. I know better, I myself slip more than I would like, it’s just that I want to see him fully healthy and happy as much as I want it for myself. I would love for my husband to conquer his health too, but I know he has even more challenging things to deal with than I do. We’re both doing our best and must take it one day at a time.

For now I reminisce over our early days together, before his divorce, before money problems, before his heart broke. He was so beautiful to me I did a portrait of him.

He still is beautiful to me and I wish I could erase the memories of the challenging moments we’ve faced together. I know they made us stronger in our relationship and emotionally, but those moments sucked and I would have wished them on no one. It is life, and I am ever so grateful that our love has survived it all, now if we can both regain our health, it’ll all be worth it. It is okay either way, we have learned and grown and become better people because of all of it.

So now, I look at my husband with fresh eyes.

I am doing my best to see him for where he is at and what he is currently reaching for. I do still love him very deeply and wish so much for him to find that which he seeks. I know he wants his health and his virility back, and I know he wants to be there for me and support and care for me and our children. He is a good kind man, and far more loving than my father ever was. I want so much for him to find his desires and regain his health, so that is what I have been doing my best to focus on lately.

I love seeing him and my children happy. I love seeing my family enjoying life fully. I love knowing my family has things to look forward to. I will do my best to stay focused on positive outcomes for all of us. I still wish for others to be part of this crazy but loving family, so I’ll send thoughts to that too, knowing if it never happens it’s okay because I am already loved very very much.

May you see the love around you. May you know you are loved. May you see all of the positive manifestations that validate your progress of allowing. May you understand how to focus to attract even better matches into your experience. May you find that you are able to balance everything well enough and find your alignment even in trying moments. May you find the solutions you seek and may your loved ones mostly find alignment right along with you. May you all have good things to look forward to and moments to enjoy deeply. May you know God loves and supports you and it is all okay.

Siva Hir Su

Allopathic ignores Mind-Body

This is a slight continuation of my previous post. I forgot one point I wanted to convey.

Allopathic medicine chooses to ignore the Mind-Body connection.

I chose my words here carefully. It is a conscious choice of medicine to ignore the role of the mind in the health of the body.

There is pretense to help with the mind because depression and anxiety have a whole host of medications that are often picked randomly and given a fair chance to help. There is also various methods of mental counseling, some of which can help greatly. I myself have utilized those techniques after medications fell horribly short of any relief (they didn’t do anything because my depression was thyroid linked and medications attempted didn’t even address thyroid for decades).

However, those psychological techniques are merely tools that one can use to right their own thoughts and realign with their higher self. In order for lasting relief to be gained one must practice them until they become second nature. That is the hardest part and the one that American Allopathic medicine currently could not care less if you actually master them.

Here in America you are given 14 weeks to break free from depression’s death grip. If that fails, it is up to you to figure out how to obtain more care, which often means either switching practitioners or taking a break so that your care can be counted as a new 14 weeks. Certain diagnosis’ can get you indefinite care, but often at your own expense regardless of income level, that is unless the condition is so severe it is found as a permanent disability.

Yet, this is after Allopathic medicine has well documented the placebo effect, the effects of meditation on the mind and body, and many instances of spontaneous healing of a wide variety. They have documented it so well that most doctors will say, yes it’s a possibility but because we don’t know how it works we can’t rely on it.

Yet they do know how it works. Hundreds of studies on meditation have documented direct effects on the mind and the body. They range from hormone level changes, to nerve function, to brain function during MRI’s, to effects on blood pressure and heart rate. They have documented thousands of cases of the effects of solid meditation in the mind and body. Enough to even have statistics along the lines of: X meditation practiced Y amount of time leads to Z percent of relief.

So why isn’t meditation and those other psychological techniques a priority? Why don’t we teach everyone how to do them and guide them enough that they do become second nature?

I believe the reason for this and my previous posts’ points is that they want us to stay sick.

They make more money off of us when we are not fully well. The American Allopathic system makes a ton of money off of treating symptoms enough to keep us alive but not fully healed. That is the biggest pandemic of all, and one that many people are still blind to.

Just like my thyroid disease. It was ignored for 20 years while trying depression meds; given basic medication treatment for 6 and was promised a lifetime of continued medication. I, via a helpful client have stumbled onto the true root cause and thus a potential final solution. If the hypothesis works I won’t need medication any more, which means the medical system will quit making money off of me. They can’t stand that idea.

What started as a system over 200 years ago with intent to genuinely help people heal, has become a big money making factory system. We are all just the cogs that keep it running. If you choose to decided that that is unacceptable, like me, you will likely run into the same wall of uncooperative doctors that I did. It simply becomes a threat to their livelihood. You will have to stand your ground and keep your wits about you, because they will do their best to dissuade you or convince you that your desires are either impossible or crazy. They will do anything to challenge your intelligence and make their system of symptom management seem like it is the better and only real choice.

The biggest problem is that they control the necessary tools to document your progress and processes. With the exception of most blood based labwork, you need the damn doc’s to order bigger tests and write temporary scripts to buy the time needed to accomplish the real goal. For some of the alternative treatments you would also have to have a practitioner willing to do them, and some of those treatments require specific certifications or an MD. That has been my battle the last 2 years, that is once I realized if I wanted full health and that I would have to take matters into my own hands and figure it out on my own. Now I battle to find someone willing to help me, and hopefully my client’s Functional Medicine guy will be my answer.

If you are on a journey like me, I wish you the best of luck and recommend the following documentaries.

The Secret” and it’s counterpart “The Opus”

What the bleep do we know

”Heal”

“The Gut, Our Second Brain

There are dozens of others that will come up if you watch those, it will truly become a rabbit hole.

May you be well informed on your health possibilities. May you see new avenues to try. May you find practitioners willing and able to help you with your preferred choices. May you find the answers you seek. May you find your way out of being a medical cog. May you find true health. May you be wholley well and fully healed. May you live the life you desire.

Siva Hir Su