Tag Archives: list of positive aspects

Post portal tools.

So it occurred to me after my post yesterday that it was 11-11-2020. Supposedly another of those big energy portal days. It could have played into things for me for sure.

I’ve also been toying (again) with the idea of Tessering from “A Wrinkle in Time”. I’ve written before about how that book had such a huge impact on my childhood and affected my psyche in ways I recently (last couple of years) have begun to notice and unravel. Well, beyond feeling like I’m battling the IT in our current ‘reality’, I have tried my hand at Tessering to parallel timelines with better outcomes. There are several big internet people that talk about the concept from varying vocabulary standpoints, but the idea is the same. Shift yourself to a better place one concept at a time. I feel like I have accomplished it a couple of times in small ways, so I am hoping that I can keep that love going.

So my tool today to attempt that, has been a repeating inner dialogue during my client appointments, which looks like this:

  • Where’s my inner me.
  • Where’s the me that is loose, flexible, and aligned.
  • Where’s the relaxed and centered me.
  • Where is me that knows everything is okay.
  • Where is the me that is calm and centered.
  • Where is the me that has joined my parts to a cohesive healed fully functional whole.
  • Where is the me that has healed fully and completely.
  • Where is the me that no longer reacts to food.
  • Where is the me where inflammation has dispersed.
  • Where is the me that is comfortable.
  • Where is the me that is strong and relaxed.
  • Where is me that is self assured.
  • Where is the me that is prosperous and prepared.
  • Where is the me that is able to handle this and more.
  • Where is the me that is strong enough.
  • Where is the me that is grounded and centered.
  • Where is the me that is fully healthy and feels good.
  • Where is the me that has good propper posture always, even while working.
  • Where is the me with balanced body, muscles and functions.
  • Where’s the me with solid core strength.
  • Where is my relaxed self.
  • Where is the inner knowing.
  • Where is my clarity.
  • Where is the me that knows I don’t need something or someone, but maybe still wants them.
  • Where is my knowing that I have everything I need inside of myself.
  • Where is my self that feels good.
  • Where is the me that is energized and excited.
  • Where is the me that is strong enough but can melt muscles just by touch.
  • Where is the me that finds enjoyment in helping others (and occasionally in inflicting good pain).
  • Where is the me that is confident.
  • Where is the me that is stable and secure.
  • Where is the me that is so healthy my energy flows smoothly and freely, inside and out.
  • Where is the me that feels ease and feels good.
  • Where is the me that has full flexible range of motion.
  • Where is me that knows I have support.
  • Where is the me that sees the love I give myself and that I’m given by others.
  • Where’s the me that remembers the care I have taken for myself, that retains the self care and massages.
  • Where’s me that is relaxed and let go of stress or worries.
  • Where’s my knowing.
  • Where’s my love.
  • Where is my inner me.
  • Cells see my inner me.
  • Cells feel my inner me.
  • Connecting with my inner me heals everything fully and completely.
  • Where is my ‘able to eat anything and stay healthy and slim’ self.
  • Where is my perfectly balanced metabolism.
  • Where is my healed thyroid.
  • Where is my healthy pancreas.
  • Where is my fully healed flowing liver.
  • Where is my healed digestive system.
  • Where is my feeling good.
  • Where is my safe, grounded sense of being alright.
  • Where is ME.

After 3 sessions with my inner dialogue on a free flowing repeat, I can already tell the difference. I am beginning to feel much better. My shoulders are beginning to relax. My neck is beginning to relax. I’m generally feeling more energized and centered. It feels good to feel better, and I really really appreciate my ability to reach for that with tools like this.

May you have helpful inner dialogue. May you feel better. May you see your improvement. May you find a way to join your parts together and heal your self. May you feel the love and know that God supports you. May you Tesser to your best self and your best life.

Om Shanti

List of positive aspects.

Abraham has been reminding me to get off of those things that bother me and focus on what I do want and enjoy.

Yet it seems that I may have been reeled back in. When I was considering resignation I’d had a conversation with my manager about how the residents were dieing from inactivity and the virus didn’t matter. They were not being saved from anything, and I did not desire to participate in the fallacy anymore. After I submitted my resignation they countered with adjustments that the building was making to help avoid the decline and asked if I would stay. I countered again with a statement that I could not in good conscience keep reprimanding adults like clueless children, that they are able to make decisions regarding risk and I respect and honor that. We will see if they still want me knowing I will not separate residents that are not doing exactly as dictated by external rules.

For now I will focus on positive aspects of all the things I love and appreciate:

  • I enjoy helping a community that feels like extended family.
  • I am very appreciative that my opinions, observations, and ethics are respected and honored.
  • I enjoy seeing the residents happy and feeling good.
  • I enjoy knowing that the residents are generally enjoying life and their retirement.
  • I enjoy knowing that they are finally finding ways to allow others to be of assistance and allowing God to meet their needs.
  • I enjoy quality conversations with the residents, especially when there is genuine concern and/or connection.
  • I love knowing that the residents do still want to really LIVE and have and make choices. They want free will and a reason to keep co-creating.
  • I really appreciate that most of the residents want to stay healthy and they are beginning to understand that is more than just avoiding disease.
  • I understand that like me they sometimes have mixed desires that seem to cause conflict, but I know it is possible for us all to allow God to find the solution for our “both” moments.
  • I love seeing their smiles and really appreciate that they come out in larger numbers to see me when I’m there.
  • I love the residents and I am very glad that they love me too.
  • I know they want to find the balance where they still enjoy the end of their life with a better knowing they are safe. I know they would rather be joyful than afraid.
  • I know we all know how to reach for better and that they want to. They will find a way to soothe themselves and return to enjoying life. They will find their quality of life again.
  • I appreciate they are wanting to find a way back to joy and enjoyment.
    • “H” will bake for others again.
    • Happy hours will return soon.
    • Bingo and church will find a way to resume safely.
    • “P” will garden and kibitz like always.
    • “B” will stir discussions as usual.
    • “J” will lead Bible study and help everyone soothe their frayed nerves.
    • “M” will light up the lobby with her smiles and chat with everyone that is willing.
  • I love knowing I am wanted and respected.
  • New residents will finally be able to meet their neighbors and make friends.
  • I extremely appreciate that we all now have a new understanding and appreciation for the freedoms we had 3 months ago.
  • I love that people are coming together to protect our freedoms.
  • I love that there are many voices of reason that are finally being acknowledged.
  • I love that people are now grasping a better understanding of what really helps maintain health and knowing that we need reasons to live to stay healthy, virus or not.
  • I am grateful that even within my residents there were those that were not afraid and wanted to stay as active as possible.
    • “N” went for drives every day.
    • Some kept appointments even though it meant staying in their rooms otherwise.
    • “G” went for walks and drives depending on the day.
    • “S” went for runs, and an 86 year old running is to be congratulated every day!!!
    • Many enjoyed patio time, even when the building was instructed to remove patio furniture.
    • Several elected to stay with family during this time.
  • I am grateful that those with more overall health concerns had family or paid caregivers to look after them and help them maintain their buoyancy and keep them from declining too fast. There was someone for them that cared about their overall well being and made sure the whole picture was accounted for. I wished everyone had had that.
  • I am grateful that everyone was safe, staff did become extra cautious with sanitization efforts, and those that needed healthcare did have access to what was needed.
  • I am grateful that the only lives lost were those that were already headed to their final days.
  • I am grateful that there will be more efforts at reversing or slowing the decline of those that suffered from the inactivity.

Also, positive aspect of other points in my life:

  • I enjoy working with those focused on living and enjoying life.
  • I enjoy knowing that there are many people focused on true health and that my efforts are on the right track.
  • I like sharing information on things that promote genuine health.
  • I like finding common ground with those around me.
  • I am super appreciative that there are enough people focused on better that the world is beginning to turn around, especially enough that we may have avoided a collective co-creation of something worse.
  • I am grateful that acute traumas and diseases are treatable and that even when dis-ease causes a problem there are medical tools to help people regain health.
  • I look forward to a day when medicine finds better solutions for non-acute disease in the same way.
  • I am grateful that I made it through all of this mess with minimal inconveniences.
  • I realized today, after being reminded my contract check was available, that I have managed to find a stable vibration of feeling fairly financially secure. I’m no longer so worried about finances that I find myself impatient for payday. I look forward to even more financial improvement.
  • I’m grateful that this disease was not as bad as projected. It was a very powerful learning tool for the future. Perhaps we will learn how to sustainably control disease easier so that future new diseases are no more bothersome than our yearly flu season. I hope we also learn from this and figure out testing and preemeptive actions much more quickly, to act before half the population already had it and got well.
  • I enjoy taking about cool new things that are being discovered and developed, conversations about leading edge thought and adventures.
  • I enjoy seeing my kids having fun and smiling.
  • I love spending time loving on my family, even/especially my furry four legged ones.
  • I have greatly enjoyed working on my wiggly becoming beautiful garden.
  • I love sunshine and sunny weather.
  • I love feeling safe and secure.
  • I love feeling supported.
  • I love being appreciated.
  • I love me and acknowledge more and more often decisions are made because I love myself enough to honor myself and I deserve the easier less painful route.
  • I am grateful that I love myself enough to take care of myself and improve my body because I know it is God’s temple.
  • I love feeling better and better.
  • I love feeling ease and feeling healthy.
  • I am grateful I have the intelligence, strength, perseverance, and divine connection to inspired thought to fix my own health.
  • I love knowing that I have a unique perspective that is grounded. As one of my favorite residents put it: “you are a sensitive soul, but grounded enough to see how things fit, we’ll miss you if you leave”.
  • I love that I love, even when it didn’t work out the way I wanted.
  • I love music, singing, playing piano, even just listening to it.
  • I love art, it lets me easily create beauty to add to this wonderful world.
  • I love mother nature, without our planet we would all die. I enjoy camping and hiking, and just even sitting listening to birds chirp ans thé wind blow.
  • I love flowers and all the pretty things that this world produces. I look forward to my garden blooming and wish I had enough money and space for some of every flower. That would be so beautiful.
  • Even though the squirrels and rabbits keep eating my plants I still think they are cute and I’m glad they exist. I like watching them when they aren’t eating my garden.
  • I love sitting on my porch swing watching kids and birds and pets play and frolic in beautiful weather.
  • I love experiencing all the wonderful parts of our world and look forward to many more wonderful adventures in my life.
  • I love knowing I am having a positive impact on the world and that my thoughts, words and deeds have a ripple effect that helps people I don’t even know.
  • I appreciate that my human-ness is perfectly wonderful to God, flaws and all.
  • I am glad that my good moments now outweigh my past no so good moments.
  • I am grateful that I am able to honor myself more and more, that I see more strengths than weaknesses, that I am seeing improvement in many ways, that I am becoming a better person.

May you have rampages of appreciation. May you see your own value enough to honor yourself. May you find enjoyment in life, more often than not. May you love yourself and the universe. May you love mother nature and find ways to appreciate and support our connection with the Earth. May you find your moments of joy and your love of others. May you see all the positives and ignore all of the negatives. May you feel and foster your connection to the divine. “May the force be with you.”

Siva Hir Su

I’ll leave you with some pictures of my beautiful gardens and family.

One step further.

After my last post I did 2 more massages and felt very draggy. It was an additional puzzle piece, noticed by a text conversation with my husband.

It seems I keep noting, through fatigue, a desire to not be the strong one for a bit. I just want someone else to be strong for me for a while. That whole someone rescue me for once.

This desire though seems to be the trigger tripping all of my weaknesses. They are now running rampant in my brain and I need to clear them out again.

The acupuncturist asked me what was wrong and I simply glazed over things with “struggling with my self-image”. She replied “ah to be a woman”.

So between the damn hormones of my gender and my own personal mix of hell, I have quite the mess.

I know my thyroid is skirting the uncomfortable side of high. I was trying to compensate for gluten and dairy, and managed to swing to the other extreme- without medication. It manifested yesterday in feeling a little high, like slight marijuana exposure, but without that herb. Today it has been anxiety and heart palpitations, especially during the workout.

What I don’t get is how I’m running high and still feeling exhausted. Except that I’m horribly overdue for a day of downtime. Tomorrow is mostly that. Restful sleep would also do wonders as my fitness band has not tracked any significant deep-sleep in days.

So for now, I pray that God help me be strong and get some rest, and balance my thyroid again. And I will continue to battle the weaknesses with Abraham techniques.

The one resonating right now is the flip. It’s where you acknowledge that if it feels bad then it is the opposite of what is in your vortex. So by acknowledgement of that you can then reach for something in proximity of the divine version. I’ll start by apologizing for a few of my hindrances.

So:

I’m sorry for needing anyone’s validation. I’m sorry that I lost sight of my inner being for a bit. I’m sorry I desired the condition of others showing their attraction to me, or their love for me. I’m sorry I needed to hear someone say I am beautiful. I’m sorry I forgot what it is like to feel beautiful. I’m sorry I was needy and blinded by negatives. Please forgive me, thank you, I love you.

Now:

Being down about my beauty means that God sees me as beautiful in every way.

Feeling ugly means that I really am beautiful.

Feeling like no one, or only Nathan finds me beautiful, really means that many people find me beautiful. (It’d be nice if they showed it or told me, just sayin’, not a requirement, just appreciated).

Feeling like society standards are unreachable means that somehow they are.

Feeling like I’m pressured to slice myself to meet those standards means that it’s not the only choice.

Feeling like I need to meet those standards really means that God doesn’t expect that and appreciates me exactly the way I already am.

That does feel better. I have a long ways to climb. So, I will acknowledge you get the idea and I will do the rest in my brain, followed with a couple/few rounds of mantra meditation.

It seems my days cycle like this in a much faster loop. I’m not sure if that is a good or bad thing. It just is different than my past.

Fall on something pointy, acknowledge the problem, reach for solution, work towards solution, feel better, repeat. I’m certain that people around probably think I’m crazy, but based on Abraham teachings technically I’m on the right track. It just seems to be a bit of a harsh cycle for me. Abraham swears it gets better the more you do it. I look forward to that.

May you know you’re not alone. May your thought journeys go easier on you. May you feel beautiful and loved. May you know your worth in God’s eyes. May you see your own beauty and worth. May you have a gentle ride and the easy river. May solutions flow easily into your experience. May you have the support of others in your experience. May you climb all of your beliefs up the emotional scale. May you feel your connection and know it is guiding you toward better. May you easily regain that viewpoint when you falter.

Siva Hir Su

Why I prefer “chick flicks”.

So I was contemplating my preferences after my recent acknowledgements, and in the process came to an understanding as to why I prefer “chick flicks”.

I was literally attempting to put words to my quandary of why do men do the machismo thing more than in the past, or so it seems to me.

I had thought about how at one point men in media were shown as dashing, handsome, wholesome, and multi-talented. I thought of moments like are found in a myriad of movies, but especially I thought of scenes from Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire movies, I thought of Casa Blanca. Actors from that era were expected to be good looking, but also excellent dancers and singers, they had to be strong, and often were required to speak multiple languages.

I’m fully aware that even though that was the standard in media, our society still had the full array of everything you still find today. Yet, there was an understanding in society that those were qualities that earned respect and showed your integrity. Those were the virtues that even regular working class people strived for, that even the average Joe reached for.

I then thought about movies today. There’s a whole lot more blood and gore. There are strong men, but every time you see a strong man- a superhero, someone dies, and often many people loose their lives in such movies. Going back a bit there are those Rambo type war stories, there are zombie apocalypse movies, and straight up superheroes like spider man. In all of these movies their strength is for one goal, take down the bad guys at all costs. I would agree that usually what’s chosen to define the bad guys is clear and agreed upon by societal standards, yet each and every movie includes the loss of innocent lives.

I realised that even though I acknowledged that those are all present in our world today, I prefer not to watch it for entertainment.

I prefer to see strength demonstrated in other ways, and I suspect I’m not alone. It’s why feats of herculean strength are now demonstrated in games: Olympics, Ninja Warrior, Highland Games, and the like. The games eliminate the blood and gore while still demonstrating strength and agility. I appreciate that, it’s a much more civilized and palatable way to experience that virtue.

That then brought me around to Hallmark movies and why I love them so much. They are wholesome, the people are genuine, there is kindness and love. Yet you still are treated with complex stories that could happen to regular everyday people. It takes the complexity of this world, but focuses on happier more joyous aspects and outcomes.

Though I mostly prefer heartwarming stories like those, I will watch other movies. I still prefer movies where the people demonstrate intelligence and strength without so much blood and gore. I also greatly like fantastical movies like Harry Potter and the less gory science-fiction like Star Trek/Star Wars.

I suppose that is why I like Will Smith so much. Beyond also being polyamorous, he’s good looking, charming, charismatic, and many of his movies he’s able to accomplish great things with a minimum of blood and gore. I really truly appreciate that.

I told Nathan it’s one of the things I appreciate most about him. Even though he doesn’t look like a hallmark actor or Will Smith, he embodies many of the qualities that they do, and he’s cute to me, and that’s what counts.

So then I sat to define what I appreciate most about others, and admitted that looks are a relatively small factor. As far as looks go, I appreciate this:

Really what I’m trying to show is that I find appreciation in a wide variety of people and body types. I have discovered that only the severely unhealthy people are unattractive to me. Those people that have given up on their health, or just didn’t care to begin with. I’ve known several of those people and just can’t even contemplate a relationship with any of them. I’m sorry, but Yuck!

What is it I do appreciate about people that makes me desire them then?

Hmmm…..

  • Kindness
  • Concern
  • Thoughtfulness
  • Intelligence (As Queen Latifa would say I get lady wood there.)
  • A belief in something greater than us.
  • The ability to learn and discuss complex topics (quantum physics is one I find particularly fascinating, even if I have trouble keeping up with it).
  • The desire to keep learning.
  • Strength of physical, mental, and emotional aspects.
  • A desire to do better, striving for more, self improvement goals.
  • Loving
  • Supportive
  • Striving for equality and social justice is pretty high on my list.
  • A desire to help make the world a better place.

Yet there’s more….

  • I like a good challenge, someone that makes me think or improve myself even more.
  • I like encouragement when I’m admittedly not at my best, you don’t always have to challenge me.
  • I like knowing I’m appreciated.
  • I like knowing they notice small things about me.
  • I like when they take criticisms or input as a challenge for improving themselves as well, and likewise do my best not to stir that pot too often.
  • I like people that work well together, especially since ultimately I hope to build Atira through my chosen family. It would be in our best interests to be able to work and play together and not get sick of each other.
  • So an ability to compromise, problem solve, and find a balance in challenging situations is very exciting to me.
  • I find good communication skills quite sexy too. If you can tell me work flow concerns in one breath and follow that with coherent sentimental thoughts in your next breath, I might faint on you.
  • I love when people can make and keep priorities. For instance I know I need a certain diet, certain amounts of sleep and exercise, and certain balance between work and recreation. Most of the time I’m able to maintain that, occasionally I fail. I prefer those around me accomplish the same.

Though I feel like there are many more qualities I could define, those are usually ones that I look for evidence of first. At that point then I’m usually familiar with a person enough that it becomes about analyzing their interactions or their behaviors, and their words. I start looking for alignment between the two. That represents integrity and honesty to me. If I get to know someone and one of those starts to show gaps, it almost always becomes the undoing of the relationship. I’ve been hurt enough times that I simply loathe intentional mistruths and/or manipulations. For a long term relationship, I simply must have honesty and integrity.

And that brings me full circle back to Hallmark movies. They are chalk full of honesty and integrity and showing how if you’re not honest what damage it can do. So I’ll end with a thank you to Hallmark. Thank you for wholesome movies that show the importance of honesty, integrity, and kindness.

May you all have your defining moments of greater clarity. May you all find an abundance of honest people in your lives, and may you experience many examples of integrity. Above all may you find the love you seek.

Siva Hir Su

Positive aspects.

Abraham Hicks suggests making lists of positive aspects to help focus on things you want. This is to help clear the mental clutter of unhelpful negative thoughts, fears, and worries. Today I’m feeling very tired, and when I get very tired I tend to slide negative. So in an effort to counter that, I’m going to list positive aspects of my husband and children, at least as I have a chance, here and there. If this takes all day, or even 2 or 3 days, then so be it. At least I know my tired brain will be contemplating good things. Beyond that it will help my body to come into alignment with my new super busy energy needs.

Husband:

  • Kind, caring, and likes to make others happy.
  • Beautiful eyes (really he’s beautiful to me in general)
  • Intelligent
  • Hard working
  • Diligent, does his best to pay attention to details.
  • Thorough, Does his best to make sure things are done well.
  • Very, very supportive.
  • Good father- patient, understanding, helpful, gentle.
  • He knows how to control his anger better than I do, and thus is able to temper disciplinary actions better than I do.
  • In many ways he’s a great teacher.
  • He’s able to let go and take things easily (especially compared to me).
  • He has figured out his own functional mess/ organization needs, and is mostly able to maintain the important elements.
  • He is mindful of others needs.
  • He puts others first (almost to a fault).
  • He finds happiness easily, and allows occasional distractions to help him see beautiful moments. (not so focused that he misses the good stuff).
  • He’s compassionate.
  • He loves and cares for animals.
  • He wants justice and equality for all.
  • He is open and accepting of all walks of life, even when he himself has beliefs that may be contrary to those he’s dealing with. He’s very understanding and can still have healthy conversations with those that do have different views.
  • He supports change, moving toward politically accepted equality, protections for everyone’s rights, and for bettering our country & planet through green energy and alternatives in power/utilities/ construction resources. He has often spoken out, assisted rallies, and donated to many just causes.
  • He has gentle loving  touch, and I really appreciate cuddling with him.
  • He does his best to help me relax and de-stress, and has gotten much better at giving massages over the years.
  • He is mindful of his actions most of the time, and does his best to balance necessary things against those that are desired, when managing his time.
  • He’s soft/cuddly, but strong.
  • He does his best at any given moment to manage his health.
  • He’s working on being mindful of his eating & sleeping habits, and thus is working on improving himself.

    Daughter:

    • Very smart.
    • Considerate of others.
    • Friendly, nice
    • Gentle (most of the time).
    • Interacts with her brother well most of the time.
    • Loves her family & friends.
    • She’s willing to learn, change, and grow. She understands the importance of self-improvement (Nathan says mainly because of me… I don’t know for sure).
    • She loves animals as well and that’s where I see her compassion the most.
    • Loving.
    • Beautiful. I know your kids are always beautiful in a parents eyes, but I’ve been told she is by others as well.
    • Strong.
    • She loves to run (which is more than I can say about myself).
    • Good with horses & cats.
    • She’s getting better at cleaning.
    • She’s learned lots of things on her own, and even more with help.
    • She does her best to help out.
    • She still enjoys playing.
    • She’s getting better at thinking critically- working on seeing the results of her actions.
    • She does her best when doing chores and gradually improves the outcome of her efforts.
    • She now sees the value in honoring shared spaces and doing her part to keep her things in her space.

    Ian:

    • Very, very smart.
    • Super healthy & takes vitamins willingly.
    • Very cute and adorable
    • For a 3 year old he’s already loving & compassionate (those qualities come and go depending on the day, but considering he’s only 3 that’s still great).
    • Very communicative and demonstrative. 
    • Expressive and full of words.
    • Uniquely himself… There are things he’s done since birth, let’s us see the inner him.
    • Connected to source in a big way, pure, positive connection… Regardless of how my  often-disconnected-self perceives him at any given moment.
    • Very strong.
    • Gentle with pets.
    • For being 3, he’s relatively cautious to be safe.
    • He’s also relatively respectful.
    • He’s mastered use of swear words, even when it’s appropriate to use them (totally my fault).
    • He likes being outside, running, and playing.
    • Knows when he’s messed up and his apologies are genuine.

      So for having taken 4 days to complete I feel like this is a short list. Yet, to be fair, I had very small time segments to work on it, and I re-read everything written  each time I went to add something, so that I wouldn’t duplicate myself. So, each time I got a chance I would only have time to add a couple/few items. It’s a good start. I may have time later for an update via computer, so cross your fingers for me.