This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I heard another message. “Write goodbye letters”.
I figured it was intended for those about to leave my world for the afterlife. So then my question was who’s the 3rd, it could be one of a couple people, and none of the options seem good to me. They aren’t people that have lived long happy lives and are ready to go, like my parents claim.
So then my mental response was “I guess I’ll just write to everyone, just in case”, and for anyone I’m fairly certain is staying in this world, I’ll just thank them for everything I can think of.
At this point in the day I’ve accomplished one and I’m about to sit down and work on the rest. I’m betting there will be tears shed.
Additionally, I just finished utilizing the broken furniture from my children’s destructive stress, to burn and release the old, to allow for new to come in. I symbolically added an object that has been on my alter since a little over a year ago, to symbolize a particular element needing let go of. I also added two statues that symbolize the same element in my life. After I finish my letters to family (et all), I’m going to make photocopies of them, to burn for myself in our fireplace. It will help release those elements as well.
It is perfectly fitting of a new moon on the new year. Release the old to be able to welcome the new, in the dark of momma Gaea’s withdrawn lunar phase. The nights of the lunar phase where momma hides the reflection of the masculine sun. There is nothing quite like the symbolism, the momentum, and energy of this moment. It is very soothing and very cleansing.
I look forward to finding out what my new year brings now that I am able to release so much.
The fireplace burn goal is for sometime tonight or tomorrow, while we’re still in the new moon phase. The letters will be mailed to the intended recipient as soon as they are complete, so everyone will receive them within a few days.
My other message was too sit back, relax, and wait patiently. Time will tell what the messages and actions of this week meant for me and those I was told to write to: cards, emails, letters and all.
May you trust and know that everything is going to be okay. May you know that you are free to be yourself and all that means. May you know your messages are exactly what was needed and requested by your recipients. May you know every word can carry deeper meanings that you may never know the fullness of. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.
And Right NOW My body Needs Rest To even Attempt To reach for More Complexity
The last round Grief, chastity Laden Exhausted Nerves Emotions And muscles
Starved Energy Love Constricted Movement Flow
Recuperation Time Unknown
Longer likely Slower Isn't stopped Slower Isn't supported In the Grand scheme It's obvious
Masculines Still Narrowly focused Narrowly minded Missing value Everywhere
Missing opportunities For Cooperative Solutions Complex answers Real Balance In all
Slower Must suffice For now For as long As needed
I deserve That much And so much more
I am making Peace With Quiet Slow Me time
MY Time For the Complexity It will Solve For ME ~Treasa Cailleach
May we all have enough me time and adequate breaks to heal. May breaks always be based on fulfilling your own unique needs. May life be kind and slowly flow to enable healing and still maintain forward motion. May we all make peace with our place and our morality. May we all do our part to restore balance and freedoms, right wrongs, and cooperate for complex solutions.
Side note. This stems from actual actions I’m taking for myself and my healing. Partly because my massage was this morning my, but also as a response after hearing that Australian aborigines are being tackled and forcefully injected with what is supposedly just a vaccine. Those are among the most intune and still intelligent people on the planet, if they said no and were forced anyway, then you have to wonder why. I can feel this is not good, and I’m doing my best to feel for better and distract myself. The last thing I need is more reason for negatives. I really need to focus on shreds of happiness to have any hope of surviving this winter.
I was already thinking about my childhood when I saw the quote. Initially, contemplation was stirred by several people having asked me if I liked what I do.
I have answered honestly every time that question has ever been asked, and surprisingly my answer is not much different that the first time I was asked years ago.
In general I love what I do. I help people, I enable people to feel better and I often guide them towards finding healing (or with elderly- release, which is its own kind of healing). There have been points in my history where finances were very tight or other elements were stressful, but mostly my career is low stress and adequate financially. I will likely never become a millionaire on massage alone, but I have changed lives and helped others find less stress and more peace. I help people every day that I get up and go do what I do best.
And that is the key: WHAT I do BEST.
My best is not always hands rubbing and poking muscles. My best is not always words that come out of my mouth. My best changes from moment to moment. Sometimes it is energy work, sometimes it is the massage, sometimes it is saying just the right words at just the right moment, and sometimes it is what I do when I’m not earning my keep.
And I don’t always manage my best, but I always know why.
My mom was key in better understanding of the phrase “Always do your best”. She was the one that repeated it frequently, but she also had a deeper understanding of it.
She would tell us stories of how she was punished by teachers when she couldn’t read the blackboard after having had Scarlett fever, and finally one teacher figured out she simply couldn’t see. She would tell us stories of being moved around over and over again because she was a military kid, and all of the trouble it caused for her, but how she would get through. There were dozens of stories I heard as a kid where she was conveying that she was doing her best to survive and get through even when no one else noticed or cared, but eventually it mattered and got better.
She was key in my understanding that “Always do your best” only really matters to you. It only matters to the person doing their best. You are the only one that can determine if you are doing your best in any given moment or any given situation.
I then thought of when I was a kid participating in district solo and ensemble competitions. I was that kid that aimed for the 1’s not because I got ribbons and medals. No I aimed at the 1’s because I wanted to do my best regardless of anyone else. I would sit in a corner practicing quietly and let everyone ignore me, and later I would beat up on myself for mistakes because I knew I could do better. It wasn’t until years later that I understood I had already done my best because stage fright was real for me. Simply having managed receiving 1’s multiple times over, when battling stage fright intensely, was a feat in and of itself. Simply conquering my dyslexia on my own was a feat of my fortitude.
I was the kid that was bullied, molested, picked on or ignored mostly. But I still did my best getting good grades, setting curves, winning music and art competitions, and volunteering whenever I was able.
And to this day I am satisfied with my self-sufficient kick-ass way of always doing my best.
None of my accomplishments mean anything to the world, but they are no less amazing and spectacular. None of my accomplishments mean much to my birth family, but they are no less amazing and spectacular.
I am standing on my own and with great knowing that I can and will continue to do so, no matter what.
I am in a marriage that was completely unsupported by anyone. I have kids that were unaccepted because they are mixed race. I have largely done it all on my own and I still give my love to others daily.
I do not need anyone to support me or make things better, because I know that I always do my best, no matter what. I also know that those that shy away from me because of my baggage, are entirely missing the point.
I am a beautiful goddess and strong in my power. I am not perfect, I am a human goddess. I make mistakes, and I understand how to do better the next time. I constantly strive to do better because I know my best can keep improving. My best matters to me because it got me through when there was no one and no way to do it otherwise. My best is the result of all I’ve seen, done, and learned along the way.
And I forgive myself for the moments that weren’t my best. Humans make mistakes. It’s what you do with your mistakes that matters.
So yes, I love my career because it bring great satisfaction with minimal stress and it allows me to do my best every day I live.
To quote Abraham: “Money isn’t the root of all evil, but it isn’t the cause or solution of everything either”. For me I’d love to have more money, but I’m satisfied with the results of doing my best, even if more money never comes. My best is what has always mattered to me the most, and it’s not always measurable in dollars.
May you know that you do your best always. May you know what your best looks like and find forgiveness for the moments that aren’t. May you always understand why you didn’t accomplish your best and know how to improve next time. May you see the good in all parts of your life and have greater understanding for yourself and others. May you find that your best guides you to joyful work and a joyful life. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.
This is to follow up with the poem. I feel like I’m downloading a message.
For strength, to get through and create better.
For intelligence, so that I have been able to do anything I’ve set my mind to.
For endurance and perseverance, being able to see things through too the end.
For strong logic enabling solutions to even the most complex problems, to eventually be found.
For being able to feel and know the deeper truth.
For understand when others didn’t.
For showing me how to be kinder and gentler.
For helping me have a voice, teaching me young that someone would always listen no matter what.
I am a beautiful creator.
I am perfect just as I am.
I’m everything I was supposed to be.
I’m doing everything in my power to leave this world a better place.
May we all see the blessings in our lives. May we all love ourselves in the best and highest good. May we all navigate life fully and joyfully. May our days become brighter and brighter. May we all have hope for our futures. May you know above all God loves and supports you in all that you do.
The thick, the sick, the chemicals, and everything else laid to waste. This “mad world” has not taken me under yet, and if I have my say it won’t claim anyone else either.
I have survived chemicals in my drinks: flouride, chlorine, and other trace chemicals in my water, and sodas with sugar, acid and artificial sweeteners. I have survived chemicals in my foods: preservatives, pesticides, and others.
I survived it all.
I have survived Epstein-Barr for probably 27 years or more. I survived the damage it did to my thyroid and my emotions. The damage it caused to my pancreas, and allergies inflicted.
I survived the resulting ripple it caused for pregnancy and birth. I not only survived, I have taken care of myself and found some healing, even if it was slow.
Then I survived Covid and it’s havoc on my body taking everything negative and bringing it directly to my immediate awareness. It flared everything Epstein-Barr started, and took it a step further, driving me nearly insane. It damaged my son’s brain and my husband’s kidneys, but we’re all still alive.
Regardless of western medicines’ lack of ability to solve any of it, I will find a way. See I’m a thriver at heart.
If nastiness like that only takes me down, I survive, and I eventually overcome. Then, once I fully overcome all of it, I will thrive in a massive way. I look forward to that time.
For now I’m giving myself credit.
I deserve the beautiful body to match my beautiful insides, and to do that I have to stay focused on my love for myself.
I found reverse osmosis water and organic produce. I found auto-immune Paleo and Raw diets to enable healing. I found numerous supplements to manage symptoms and enable healing. I found my way out of darkness because of Dr Illardi’s ” Depression Cure”. I revived my love of the sun and found ways to love physical activity. I make an effort to connect with nature, mother Earth, and humanity.
I have taken care of my entire family since July of 2010. I have kept us alive and housed, and clothed and fed.
I helped my father and an acquaintance in the midst of their hard times.
I have donated time, items, and money to charities and individuals.
I help people on my table to feel better and find their own healing every day.
And through all of it I have even found a way to take care of myself. I have given myself space for healing to the best of my ability. I have done everything I could to feel better, as often as I was able.
I am strong and capable. I know how to persevere.
I am smart, nay very intelligent and I choose to use my gifts for good. I do my best to educate everyone I come in contact with.
I may never reach the same enlightened master level such as the likes of AdiYogi Shiva, Buddha, or Jésus, but I did mine while caring for others daily. I did mine while birthing and raising children. I did mine while fighting diseases in my own body and caring for a husband with even more complex health concerns. AND I did mine when Western Medicine was bent on doing only the lazy, simplest, send you on your way options.
So, if you ask me, my battles have been more challenging and the fact I’ve made it this far is majorly commendable.
So yes, I am focusing on my victories and accomplishments. I am loving myself so my inner beauty can be seen by everyone. I love me and I deserve the best for myself. I deserve recognition. I deserve to be acknowledged for my healing journey, everything I have gone through and survived, to reach for thriving.
I love me and I hope you love yourself too.
May you see your accomplishments. May you acknowledge your own gifts. May you love yourself and honor others for their tough journies too. Above all may you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.