Tag Archives: love

The Real

The real God
Loves everyone
Never needed me to
Obtain approval
For anything
Especially
Consent for marriage
He approves of
Everything bound by love

He already loved
Them
He already loved
Me
He saw the love we
Shared
And knew it would
Grow

The real God
Never needed to own
He owns everything
Never needed to control
He controls everything

We are children exploring
He's there if we fall
Willing to help us
Try again

The real God
Doesn't need compensation
No sale of a daughter or dowry
He already has everything
Daughters are daughters
Regardless of dollars
Any daughter
Seeking and finding
Love
Is accepted and respected
Their loving partner
Is a miracle to behold
A bond stronger than
Any other
He only wishes to
Be loved in return
And lovers entwined
Is the most beautiful
Expression of
Focused Love

The real God
Knows children
Will be born
Life will contine
Always
There is no
Requirement
Task needing fulfilled
The only must
Is knowing he's
Here
Now

The real Goddess
Gave birth to everything
She loves all
Always
She heals everything
Which is hers

If you fall
She'll console you
Just snuggle into
Warmth
Knowing her love
Heals everything
From broken hearts
To broken bones
Brains and
Dis-ease

Her love seeps
Deep
Into every cell
Every blood vessel
Every pore
Quiet stillness
Is all she needs
To do healing work
A warm
Vibration
The only sensation
Soothing to every
Sense
In every
Being

Jesus reminded the
World
All of human kind
We are all
Beautiful creatures
We are all
Equally amazing
Equally brilliant
Equally talented

Jesus knew there
Was only unity
Loving caring
Kindness
For All
He never disappeared
He spent years
Traveling the Earth
Teaching everyone
Under names they understood
Ra,Shiva, avalokitesvara, Quan Yin
Doing his best
To honor both and
Show everyone
How great it could
Be

Yet somehow we were
All too dsense to see
All his teachings
A world full of
Systems which never changed
Man intent on
Better than
Stronger than
Healthier than
More veral
More kids
More resources
More consumption
More destruction
More dis-ease
Discontent

I feel them
Humans attached to
Me
Vampires of lust
Vampires of control
Vampires of ownership
Vampires of greed

They were not here
When I needed
Shoulders to cry on
Hands to help
Children watched
Transportation to treatments
Treatments completed
Uplifting
Relieving
Healing

No they watched
And wallowed
From afar
Making already challenging
Days
Become burdens too
Heavy to carry
Draining
Essence
Cutting off
From the divine
I needed most

They simply don't
Get it
Love is real
Love can move mountains
Yet when life
Has been drained
Of all love
Nothing survives
Empty shells
Eventually crumble

God loves and supports
Goddess loves and heals
Neither can do their
Roles
If humanity
Starves them of
One golden nugget
Love

All they need
Is for us
To let go and
Love

Let go of
Rules
Let go of
Better than
Let go of
More than
Anyone
Or anything
Let go of
Competing
Or doing

Just find
Love

In quiet stillness

If everyone
Everywhere
Just let go
And let
Love
Flow

The real
God and
Goddess
Could come together
And heal
We could birth
A new world
Better
Healthier
And more
Loving

Let the
Real
Be
Here
Now

~ Treasa Cailleach

May you feel your connection to the divine. May you find a way to let love flow and the real God and Goddess be here now. May your love of the divine let this now experience change and grow in love. May you let go of everything and find peace and healing. May you know that all aspects of the divine, love and accept you as you are, you are whole and complete.

Seek and ye shall find. Matthew 7:7

Om Shanti

For Better or Worse.

You layed yours
Bare
In return
I layed my sword
In vow
To honor our commitment
To life
As chosen family
God, Goddess and
Loved ones
Witness
Our vows to
Honor
Cherish
Love and respect
You and yours
As long as we
Live our days
In this world
For better
Or worse
We've mastered the latter
It's time for
Better
~Treasa Cailleach

I promised Nathan and his daughter I would do everything in my power to be true to our commitment for life together. Since then we’ve had two more beautiful children, whom inherited my vow. It has been really, really hard for a long time, but I have done everything in my power to keep my commitment. Even my outbursts of anger, frustration, and despair, always reconciled by apologetic countenance.

I love him and our children and I always will. We are due some serious improvement, and I’m doing everything I can to find my patience and get ready to be ready.

May you find a love strong enough for that bond. May you know for certain you could withstand those moments and not need to prove it to anyone including yourself. May you find that your bond flourishes in love and becomes stronger daily, and you still are able to enjoy life frequently in an easy flow of abundance. May you love all of your family, chosen, biological, and even neither, and may you never be forced into cutting ties with any of them. Above all, may you know and understand that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Patience

I’m again squeezing this post in between more important things, so hopefully I’ll be clear and concise.

I haven’t been writing for multiple reasons. Nathan’s journey, tax season, other stressers, and my general overwhlement with all of it. But I need to, my brain needs some emptying.

We have had our cannabis cards for about a week now, and our hammocks almost the same, but weather has not been nice enough to enjoy both. Plus, it seems I am still my responsible self and working and behaving, instead of taking time off. Essentially, I’ve been taking high doses of CBD/CBG during the day (90+mg heavy on the CBD and light on CbG by virtue of what I have access to right now) and enjoying the full herbal potential in the evenings. It has created an interesting dichotomy.

On one hand, I’m generally feeling better and inflammation is down some. I’m managing to retain sanity enough to manage the stresses and function at work as employers would prefer.

On the other hand, I am experiencing an intense detox probably from virus laden cells dieing off, which ultimately is a really good sign. Mixed with that is a  mental, emotional and energetic mess. The mental and emotional I have partly chalked up to the detox, as they are common symptoms of detox.

Yet, there are moments that I just know it’s more than that. The stuff that I have experienced the past week has been akin to stories of peyote journies, and on some levels seems straight up bizarre. I wonder if I will ever get to the bottom of the negatives, bad karma, and heal myself.

Some of the moments in my recent experience have been clear to me, as not actually being mine, be it karmic dis-ease or otherwise. Part of me feels like, I and my whole family, are being directly impacted by my father’s experience.

At one point my 6 year old son asked us why didn’t we make apple fritters, and then told us he could show us how. It became a whole discussion of where did he hear that or learn about them, because with the health journey we are on, that simply wouldn’t make the cut for an appropriate food, so nether I nor my husband have even talked about or referenced them as a food item. Anya denied having talked about them, and Ian said he didn’t know and couldn’t remember. Yet I know my father would have said those words, and I wonder if in that moment he was telling someone that.

There have been several moments like that, but I honestly don’t know if it is my father in real time, or karmic dis-ease manifesting in our world. I am the center of my law of attraction universe, and I passed on a disease to my family which I caught as a child. That disease is clearly the result of generations of energetic dis-ease, not just in how it attacks the body and brain, but in the energy of it. It carries an air of massive detrimental “shoulda, coulda, woulda”, full of doubt and self-distrust. It has manifested in moments of negative impulsivity in my son, and familiar negative over-reactions from everyone. Moments of  “you’re stealing from us”, “you’re lieing to me”, “I don’t belong here”, etc, and over-reactions of a wide variety. You name it, it’s probably happened this week, and I have turned “if it feels bad, it’s not me” into a broken record and have even been telling my family to repeat it as well. Yet, that phrase and cannabis, and we’re still struggling to keep the vibration of our home, and our selves, up.

All those moments feel like 200 years of built up energetic junk and it left me wanting to scream at the universe to get it out of me. I want nothing to do with it anymore. I want permanently severed from this disease, I didn’t ask for it, my family didn’t ask for it, and we deserve for it to be healed fully and completely. I am doing everything in my power to aim at the desired healing, knowing that it is my responsibility to fix my familial karma. No other person in our family has even tried, I’m the only one willing to try, so it’s fallen me to fix it, or generation after generation will continue to be damaged by the ripple.

Last night after another such moment, I went to consume cannabis to correct the ripple in the force. I was so very over the negativity that I took an extra big dose to compensate.

After kids were in bed I proceeded to meditate. A phrase that had contributed to the poem in my previous post started repeating mentally. The phrase sounded like a woman speaking to a man saying “If you don’t let go now, ours is broken” full of anger. After hearing that phrase repeat mentally several times, my right wrist began to burn intensely. I simply couldn’t fully understand what to do with that in the moment.

This morning I had to pause. I know that as a child one of my wrists was fractured, tiny hairline and nothing was done. I was just left to heal on my own. Yet, I was always told it was a window falling on it when I was not quite 2. Now with that moment last night, I wonder if it was a repressed memory of abuse, but seeing as how I’ve made it 38 years thinking a window broke my wrist, I doubt I’ll ever know for sure. Also, it could be karmic junk. If that ripple was in reference to a generation or two before me, then I simply could have accidentally attracted a broken wrist for myself. This whole mess I’m slogging through seems to get more confusing and difficult every day, and I hope it’s just another example of the old adage “sometimes it gets worse before it gets better”. I’m crossing fingers that is the case and that I am close to making it over the difficult hump.

As for the mental moment with the burning wrist, today I apologized to myself:

  • For having gotten the broken wrist
  • For every thought and interaction, in both mine and other’s experiences, which led to that moment
  • For having experienced that difficult moment
  • For having been hurt emotionally
  • For now having any lingering effects of that trauma
  • For not knowing how to fully heal when I was a child
  • For not knowing how to heal fully to this day
  • For not being able to control any of it
  • For all the elements that I could think of, here and now, then, and even before then- the abuse that was perpetuated in that moment was started ages before
  • Etc, etc

Then I told myself things I know to help heal:

  • I’m a beautiful person
  • I never deserved any trauma, let alone a broken wrist and possibly repressed memories of even worse abuses
  • I never deserved the disease and neither do my children and husband
  • I am loving and caring and doing my best to squelch this dis-ease
  • I deserve help from God and so do my kids and husband
  • We all deserve to heal and be free of this karmic sludge
  • I deserve better, we all deserve better
  • Etc, etc

It is all in an effort to allow God to help heal, and to allow ease to replace disease. First acknowledge the problem, second reach for a solution, utilize tools to help, clean up the thoughts, and allow your body the space to complete the healing process.

So now today I am consuming all of my supplements and very little else wise. I’m taking as many moments as possible to sit with the quiet stillness of the healing process, which means that even though I needed to purge thoughts, I shorted myself downtime during the day. It may mean an early bedtime for me.

My father is in the hospital again, and I can’t bring myself to call. 1) I know he is in good hands. 2) I’m at my limit and cannot handle anything else, so my fear of fanning flames or causing more ripples for myself is strong. I know I have already said my piece to him, and have waited for his genuine apologies without expectation of ever getting the fullness of what I would like to hear. I have given up and given in, and begged and pleaded with the divine to permanently sever the energetic connection which I have with him. Ease and peace for me would be to permanently release him and all his family’s karma from my and my children’s/husband’s life now, and any lifetime hereafter. I have repeated many times over, you can’t call someone that is already dead. The disease must die and the easiest way I am aware of is to release everything related to it. I’m even willing to release myself if it means that my chosen family has a lifetime of healthy joyous living.

May you see your path to healing and navigate the side-effects easily. May you know you are getting there and actually doing it. May you have patience and love for yourself first. May you send love to the people and events that led to the current state of dis-ease. May you have all of the support that you need. Together may we all find ways to heal and eliminate karmic dis-ease for all of humanity. May you know that the divine loves and supports you fully and completely.

Om Shanti