Tag Archives: love

Acceptance

Apparently
The kindness
Loving support
Of my parents
Ended when I
Turned 18
Move out
Go to college
Pay/go your own
Way, was said.
Rescued me
Only when
Society
Standards
Exceeded my
Pay grades.
Once in
College
Once in
First years
Of adult life.
Marriage scorned
Killed what caring
Still evident.
Mom slowly
Regained
Her loving.
Helping little
On rare occasion.
Only on her terms.
Make it work,
Or get none.
Dad never did.
Christmas gifts
For grandchildren.
Nothing for me
Or my spouse.
Well fuck.
My own parents
Stopped loving me
Because I married
An older black man.
But I was supposed
To grieve mom.
I'm supposed
To miss
Dad.
How?
There
Was none
Nothing
To miss.
I grieved
For a decade
Of marriage in
Terrible times,
Housing bubbles,
Health trouble,
When I needed
Loving and
Support.
God's will
Hurt over &
Over again
And I'm
Done
Being
Hurt by
Hatred
I only
Accept
Better
I only
Accept
Love
For
Me
Us


~Treasa Cailleach

May you know loving never stopped, even if manifestations did. May you know that unconditional love always flows from the divine, and the hardest part is tapping into it when you’ve felt cut off. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Life and Liberty

Ha I won
I am in the
New world
I survived
It only gets
Better from here
Moving forward

Make me cry
From burried
Memories
Make me scream
From social
Travesties
Make me doubt
From symptoms
Energetic
Make me hurt
From old
Manipulations

Yet with all
I'm still
Standing
Tall & strong
Pulling my own
Uplifting &
Providing
Caring
I'm still
Aware & open
Yet more
In control
Of myself
Than ever
More aware
Of what is
Mine and
What is
Not

My soul knows
Travesties
Unjust
Memories
Passed
Symptoms
External
Hurts
Fixable
Reactions
Reducing
Each moment
Of understanding
Bodies healing
Releasing
Relaxing

Seeing
Strong
Negatives
In feelings
Mean passion
For alternate
Solutions

Even if
Feminine
Attracted
Contributed
To negatives
In experienced
Masculine is
Also adding
Both are
Responsible
Equal in
Blame
And Owe
Each other
Corrections
And reparations
It takes at
Least TWO
To create

Feminine
Must Birth
Then Masculine
Must balance
Providing
When
Birthing
Exhausting
Overwhelmed
Regardless
Of nature
Be it
Child
Thoughts
Or ideas
Manifest

Should
Conception
Birth
Ever
Be forced
By masculine
Then triply
Responsible
He owes
Feminine
Reparations
For carrying
For birthing
For Traumas
& Damages
Encurred
& All
Aftermath
Endured

Should
Masculine
Fail or
Renig
Then also
Feminine is
Free to make
ANY choice
Including
Temination
Of that which
Was conceived

If feminine
Was forced
She owes
Herself
Everything
Forgiveness
For allowing
His unjust
Travesty
To lay
Ruin
To her
Genuine
Desires
For if he
Answered calls
In misalignment
It is his
Failure
His dense
Misinterpreted
Misconstruction
Misunderstanding
For not all
Creative
Moments
Require
Force
Will
OR
Sex

And sex
Is not love
Sex is a gift
Of intercourse
Shared between
Consenting
Adults
Only when
Love is
Already
Present
In equal
Exchange
It is so
Natural
It is
Untutored
And our
Bodies
Tell us
Immediately
When it has
Become
Wrong
Just
Feel

This is
One
Lesson
Necessary
For both sides
To see they
Are two
Halves
Of one
Non-binary
Universe
Divine

Evolution
Of humanity
May Require
We all become
Hermaphrodites
And see both
Fully equal
In everyone
If sides
Fail to
Learn

Love
Must
Come
First
But one
Must know
What love is
To know
Giving
Love at all
Know self truly
& Completely
To know
Love
It is a
Feeling
Emotional
Deepness
Of soul
Present
Within
You
It must
Be found
To be held
It must be
Held to
Give

Love
Yourself
And leave
Everyone else
Out of it
If it's
Impossible
You've already
Croakingly
Ended


~Treasa Cailleach

May you see your half more clearly. If you’re like me and resonate with both, then see all of yourself, your mistakes, your corrections, and your reparations, know how to make everything right with yourself again, and it will spill fourth to your manifested experience. May you see yourself as one non-binary divine whole in balance. May we all move forward with greater ease and speedy recoveries. May we enjoy our new more accepting world and help it find balance quickly, by finding our own balance quickly. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Mom hates goodbyes.

I understand. I do to.

I was going to call mom on Christmas and I heard her, from thin air, very distinctly say “I wish everyone would just leave me be.” So instead I sent a package with a note that said that, and wished her a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. It was a minor factor in why I didn’t call everyone else, having layers of reasons for everything these days.

She got the package yesterday and called me.

She admitted she isn’t doing well and was visited by two of my brothers over the weekend, which left her very tired and achey. In the conversation she spoke of her knowing of the extent of her ailments, and stressed several times that she was still in her right mind, that everything was physical in her body, not her mind.

She spoke of wanting to have already been gone and that she feels it is time to go, but that she definitely doesn’t want family pestering her, doctors either.

She asked me several questions regarding my intuition, and I answered honestly, about her and the rest of the family. I explained I knew that I was likely to loose 3 people in my immediate future, and was only confused on the 3rd. As for her situation, I told her my intuitive guidance had already chimed in on that as well. I just knew that what she needed to do, was what she used to do when Dad couldn’t or wouldn’t get a job, except that she needed to make her own request for herself.

I told her that I fully understood everything she was saying, because I genuinely do.

We’ve both worked in nursing enough to know the fullness of that future, and neither of us wants that. Also, we’ve both learned enough about our own health concerns to know that Western medicine can’t always fix the problem. I reminded her that hospice is still an option and if set up now while she’s able, she can file appropriate forms to make sure morphine is her only treatment. She said she isn’t ready for that step yet. I told her I would help when she was, if she wanted me to. I also reiterated my standing offer for a wide array of other options, and that if at any point she changed her mind it was totally fine.

See, I know that my mom has been there for everyone around her, to the very best of her abilities, for her entire life. It is where I learned it.

For once she is finally making a selfish decision and I fully, 100%, support her in that. She deserves it. She deserves to have the peace. She deserves to have the quiet she always longed for. She deserves to enjoy her days the way she wants to. She deserves to have something of hers before she leaves this world, and I will do a anything she wants me to, especially if it supports her end of life desires. If she wants to be alone in her quiet Iowa apartment, then that is what she can have.

I love my mom more than anything or anyone in this world, Nathan and my kids are tied for a close second, a couple of my brothers tie for third (though I’m not sure they realize it). We haven’t always agreed 100%, but she taught me everything that has been of great value to me. I respect her and know she deserves anything she wants. And what she wants is a quiet, peaceful, exit from this world. I am fully in support of her.

She requested that I not tell my siblings of the details of her state, but if I knew any way to calm them down it would be appreciated. She also said that when she was gone to please make certain that my siblings knew it was her choice and that she had lived a happy life. She just wanted everyone to know she has no regrets. I told her I would do my best, just like I always have.

I love my mom and I will miss her terribly fierce, but I have to let her go. I simply must, to be able to fully support her decision, and maintain my progress. Besides, I do truly believe she deserves anything she wants, and this is what she wants.

I love you momma. Peace be with you. Go find your stallion and Irishman.

May you know you are loved and that you deserve anything you want. May you see you are truly loved always. May you know with everything in your being that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do. May peace be with you always.

Om Shanti

24 of 27: I Let Good In

I let good in
So I know
I let God in

I sang songs
I love and of love
I danced
Jumped and swayed
God was there
It was good
It was fun

I tasted yummy Eats
And even some
Extra yummy treats
Savored fresh fruit
Crunched crisp salad
God's food is good

I thanked
People in my life
I donated
Of myself and my fruits
I let God in

I encouraged others
In as many ways as possible
I hugged and snuggled
Shook hands and rubbed backs
Gave tips and tricks
God guided my
Hands, arms, heart and words
It was all good

I played
Recreation of
Body, mind, and spirit
With kids
Pets and
Creative moments
It was all good
God was there

I planted
Gardens
Flowers and greens
Beauty
For eyes
And bellies
It was goodness
In, out, and all around

I fed the birds
Even the squirrels
Watched them partake
In God's abundance

I let good in
So I know
I let God in

My pen
My brush
My keyboard
My paper
My blogs
My hands
My heart
My mind
My body

They all tasted
The goodness of god
Every ounce of my being
Has felt
God's healing lightness
Frivolity
Joviality
Exubérant
Contentement
In every cell, tissue, and organ

I let good in
So I know
I let God in

~ Treasa Cailleach

May you know that you let good in and that in doing so, you let God in. May you have an abundance of things you enjoy, which allow you to let God into your life in abundance. May you know and feel the goodness permeate your being. May the goodness remain as long as humanity possible, even when distracted from it.

Om Shanti

22 of 27: Smell

He smells
So good
Like musky forests
On sunny days

Cologne on
Fresh skin
Delightful to
Olfactory nerves

Too close for comfort
Senses blurr
Cheeks flush
Loins afire
Distraction is
Quite the understatement

Desire to touch
'Tis forbidden
Lumps in throats
Hard to clear

Better to hide
Nay run in fear
It's only desired
Because it's forbidden
Least they say

It's not forbidden
By my paradigm
Only by theirs
Only by ones' choice
Leveled on me

Yet maybe there's an
Alternate
He's not the only one
Alive, attractive, or
Smelling so damn good.

I'm ready for my
Alternatives
I'm ready to explore
Other options

I'm ready for
Surprise and delights
Especially to
My olfactory nerves

~ Treasa Cailleach