Maybe just maybe think about your insults and derogatory terminology before making close friends with them.
I was privy to a conversation where Suburu cars were being mocked as belonging to lesbians and coming with equality stickers. The term carpet munchers was used in the entire conversation to reference lesbians.
I hate to break it to anyone that says that, but if you are really aware of what that two word phrase means, then you know every dick*** out there has muched carpet at some point.
May you never feel as offended, as that conversation was for me. May you understand what you are really saying always. May others around you know your intentions always. May you know that you are open and supportive of everyone. May you know that suffering unkind words can end, one way or another. Above all may the truth always be evident to everyone. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.
***Addendum: Dick for me is a very specific derogatory term used for people that usually have penises (a very small amount of bodies with vaginas fit the term). It carries a certain set of actions, behaviors, etc., and usually subscribe to claiming the terminology of heterosexual monagmamy (whether they actually are or not). It would be very unlikely for me to use that term in addressing a gay or transgender person even if they have a penis and are causing anger in me. Dick is a whole package of broken that is undone and healing by the time someone can admit they are gay or transgender, so even if I felt the need to slam said person I would pick other words.
Addendum 2: Wish to analyze my decision in the moment (I know someone does)? Here my thoughts.
1) War is always an option. I could have halted the conversation amidst a large group of family and friends. Started a knock down drag out fight, pissing everyone off, and ostricizing myself further. I’m sure I would have been labeled the offender by the parties involved in the conversation. And just like war, the innocent bystanders and children would have been afflicted the worst. Bombs take all casualties, regardless of who drops them, and sometimes motives become more obvious.
2) Peaceful walkout. Points are made clear. Understanding becomes evident to everyone. Judgements are made and levied. And I would have been the only one to loose out on time with those supportive of me, but unwilling or unable to join in action.
3) So then what? … I chose, a flushed scowl of embarrassed anger, worn in silence. Obvious to those that noticed my reaction. It was a refusal to participate, but still let my feelings be obvious to those that cared enough to notice. …. The flushed embarrassment was for family implications, I am embarrassed to be around family that can’t open themselves enough to learn better and wrap their heads around something that isn’t going away. I’m embarrassed that I can’t be myself around those I grew up around. I am embarrassed that I share genetics with such disgusting behavior. … I am embarrassed and angered because of the lesson I then needed to explain to my kids, including my 7 year old that has loose lips and doesn’t understand why carpet muncher isn’t okay. … I am angry for the blatant insult to my being by someone that not only knows better behavior in general, but also knows my own personal labels of choice, which makes it doubly insulting. I am angry for the fact that I suspect everyone else had an idea of what was really going on and did nothing. …. I know those that had any concern noticed my face. Now they know what I was thinking, and that I chose the high road to protect the gathering, over my own dignity. Scorn should lie with the instigator, but I’m not holding my breath that anything will come of it. Just imagine if I’d shown up with Nathan and another adult of any gender or sexual persuasion. If they are my family, I’ll bring them with me. How would you act then. They are human too.