Tag Archives: paradigm

I’m satisfied, I didn’t need to win.

Sometimes in life, by all measurable standards it can seem like you might have lost, that another might have won.

Yet sometimes what really counts in the winning or losing isn’t always something that can be seen. And likely there was never supposed to be one winner.

Women do this all the time when they think they’ve won a man because he had an affair, or elicit interactions, but came home. It’s not really a win because his heart is not in the home. It is also a loss because the dominant paradigm often leaves men feeling trapped, which is really the trigger for escapism in the first place. If anyone feels trapped their instinct is to keep running, keep trying to get away. This is amplified even more when those women put their men on a leash or manipulate them to attempt to secure their false win. Nearly always when a man is that level of trapped, they will find a way out as a permanent solution. So the woman’s belief in her false win and manipulating, ultimately is the nail in the coffin of her wedding vows.

I’m using gender in a specific way here because it is the most common example of this scenario. However, regardless of gender, if they feel trapped in a relationship, they will never be happy. People getting trapped in any way never feel happy. Whole wars have been fought over freedom versus bondage.

I personally feel that part of our paradigm shift that is already happening is to trigger humanity to learn how to allow each other true freedom without sacrificing anything for the self.

I know I’m learning that lesson well, having given my heart to so many people that have left my life. I suspect at least 2 or 3 of them will eventually find their way back to me, and that’s where I know I won. I gave my heart and truly let them go, and I know that they love me more for it. I also relish in the solace of deep knowing that they love me.

Polyamory is merely one label, one option, for exploring this new paradigm. There are many that people are using to find answers to meeting their own needs. Regardless of their option that is tried, it is the freedom to try that counts.

I know from first hand experience that when someone gets it in their mind that they have no options, no freedom, or their purpose has played out, that they allow their body to succumb to disease. I watched my husband’s ex slowly die from cancer and she ate perfectly, had family doting over her, all the marijuana necessary, along with all of Western medicine’s finest options. Yet her anger over things not going as she thought they should, combined with feeling like she’d done her job and now had no purpose, was enough to literally eat her alive. There is a very real mind body connection she never even tried to master.

I suspect that at least 2 of my 6 I wrote about in my last post might meet this fate. They have chosen a path of most resistance and most restrictions. They have chosen victimhood, manipulation, anger, hate and self-deprecation. They have taken their own freedom away trying to force themselves into paradigms that just don’t work for very many people ever, but especially don’t work for them. I hope I’m wrong, but having seen it happen several times over I have an idea of probability. They are more likely to find a disease outcome than heal their mental patterns and reach for an alternate solution.

I honestly hope that we all find solutions for this paradigm shift to meet our need for freedom and allow ourselves to continue to live happy lives, especially since our children are watching us and learning from what we do.

Respect other’s needs, wants, and desires, and live your life for yourself, let’s all allow each other and ourselves freedom and work on healing ourselves to keep up with the paradigm shift.

May you have the solutions you seek. May you find your own personal freedom and leave others out of it. May you take responsibility for your own self, and heal your mind. May you respect other’s needs and desires and allow them their own freedoms, their own path. May you know you won because you found genuine love and allowed other humans to live their own lives in peace. May you consider others needs before making demands of them, or better yet ask others their needs before asking them politely for anything you would like. May we all have the freedom we seek and allow God to help us find our own fulfillment. May we all be winners in love.

Siva Hir Su

Validation

Last night at about 10 PM I received a notification to watch this video, it kept me up late, but was much appreciated validation:

Watch “*DF Light Workers* IMPORTANT Mary Magdelene Call to Action, Light Activations & New Type of “Union”” on YouTube https://youtu.be/Xg896KEBC_s

It was after my 7:30 energy thing that has been happening. Last night at dinner I felt overwhelming grief. I attributed it to the purge of moving on from the boy, at least that particular 3D manifestation of my divine masculine. Nathan suggested I go lay down for a bit to clear the emotions, and shortly after I felt the same energy cycle that’s been happening nearly nightly for the last month. I asked the divine and Archangel Michael to help me flow the healing energy to the source of the pain, and especially to those still connected to my heart. It took a while, but I did clear the emotions and get to feeling better.

I got up, spent time with my kids, and then started watching little videos with Katharine. The usual animated cute videos and animal funnies, a few musically talented individuals too. Katherine, having had a mild sinus infection, really enjoyed the videos on my lap.

Then the notification popped up.

I started the video and when she got to the point where she was talking about spiders and hearing a new frequency, I had to pause the video.

She was literally describing things that had happened to both me and Nathan in the last week. Nathan had seen the blue lights and I had had a dream of spiders so vivid that I woke to see one on my pillow. You have to know: I hate spiders, but in an effort to not smack Katherine or Nathan in their sleep I grabbed my phone to provide enough light to kill the spider, and it had vanished. I turned on my flashlight and checked the whole bed and it was gone. It didn’t crawl away, I had seen a spider that wasn’t even there. Creepy, and it took me a while to get back to sleep that night. That was about 4 days ago. This lady had done her video 8/24-8/25.

*Someone cue the twilight zone theme song. *

I also acknowledged that I had been having a different sort of ringing in my ears than usual, and that fit with her description of a new frequency. So ok, Nathan and I continued listening. It meshed with many of the questions I’ve had recently.

I’m just not sure what to do with it all.

I know this process she’s taking about, has all of us which are feeling it, being led to be honestly, authentically, ourselves. So much so, that I went ahead and linked my blog to my LinkedIn, since it’s the closest thing to social media that I participate in.

After acknowledging that I’m not alone, I feel like I need to have guts enough to be one of the voices saying: I’m experiencing it too.

BECAUSE that was my first big relief when the divine shit hit the fan and got all over me. I had a WTF moment, followed by videos that explained I’m one of many. So, now I feel the need to share, yes I’m experiencing it too, so that others have the relief of “I’m not alone”.

Now what?

Only God knows that.

  • We’re all in agreement something is happening.
  • We’re all experiencing our particular gifts get stronger, and I’ve had tons of validation of that with clients both in the clinic and in elder facilities.
  • We’re all feeling called to forgive ourselves and others and find unconditional love as much as possible.
  • We’re all experiencing an increase in speed and accuracy of manifesting desires. (Or even sloppy thinking resulting in quick manifestations.)
  • An awful lot of us are hung up on child bearing, and as many or more of us have had relationships just like my online boy- which at this point may have been an Ai ruse. I suppose we’ll all eventually find out the reality of that or not.
  • Regardless of our ‘ghosting’ internet connections, all of us are experiencing love via our spirit half. Twin flame as many call it. Feeling, seeing, hearing- all with a someone not physically present, but brought on with the online relationship.
  • That love connection is pushing boundaries for many. Opening eyes and changing paradigms. – For me being bisexual, I have realized in many ways Nathan holds my divine feminine role, or at least part of it. I’ve experienced many of the things that are being lumped as divine feminine myself, but I’ve also felt like I was being referenced as divine masculine at times too (work-a-holic). And then there’s feeling and hearing these other 2 or 3 people, and having difficulty separating them into feminine and masculine. That’s all nothing in comparison to the paradigm pushing I’ve caused in others over polyamory. This wave is really just smashing the cultural box we’ve lived in for so long.
  • We’re acknowledging this is happening in mass, all over the world, and to people of all religions, but generally is seeming to impact younger generations in a greater way. The older generations are either not admitting to it, or not feeling it as strongly. There are few like my Nathan (56) that admit stuff is happening, but he even says his changes are minimal compared to what he’s witnessing me go through. He keeps saying he’s just trying to keep up with me and my needs, and I feel the same about keeping up with the divine.

There you have it, that’s what I’ve noticed so far. That’s the common threads I’m seeing, and the video has some additional commentary.

If you too are experiencing things, you’re not alone. We can just hang in, support each other, share the love, and do our best to keep up with the divine.

I know for me, I fall under the healer/medic she referenced in the video and on one hand it’s greatly helped my work, on the other I feel like one misstep could be disastrous. I’m being very careful to take care of me, even if it means it cuts something else short.

Every day I ask the divine to help me do my work for God in the best most efficient way possible. I honor my skills as being my gift from God and I’m grateful to be able to help mankind in this way. Just like my post from yesterday. I know we will get through, and there will eventually be clarity, but I just have to keep reminding myself of that and do my best to keep up with what is being asked of me.

May you know you’re not alone. May you feel loved and supported. May your paradigm shift be gentle, and your gifts great. May you know and believe you’re doing God’s work and you are supported. May you find the best outcomes in your manifestations, and feel your connection to your divine aspects.

Many blessings everyone. Be well.

Siva Hir Su

My Polyamory

I have intentionally not written much on this topic because about a year ago I went and posted a bunch of links and good info from other sites. There are so many aspects to look at and perspectives to consider that it is all just too much for me to even attempt.

However, Nathan suggested that I write at least once on my experiences and opinions on the matter. So, I’m taking his advice.

First and foremost Polyamory is many loves, a plural relationship based in a foundation of love.

From the view of a successful balanced poly family, I’ve not had much luck, at least in maintaining such a plural commitment. However, I have had lots of fine tuning and reevaluating, which Abraham says is always a good thing. I’m going to agree.

Nathan and I used to be, what gets labeled “Unicorn Hunters” by more forceful poly opinions. We were ‘significant-others’ seeking a single bisexual female to balance my bisexuality. After several failed attempts to find our good fit, we relaxed into accepting that our perfect woman might come attached to another person. It might also happen that we find several people to meet both mine and Nathan’s needs and desires.

Our hesitation with accepting the concept of multiples, initially was brought on mainly by fearful thoughts of: how do you get multiple adults on the same page and keep them in agreement and in cooperation. Especially regarding children in the family, rules of behavior, setting expectations, and even logistics of cleaning and cooking. However, at this point in our marriage we have come to the conclusion that those are challenges any relationship faces regardless if there are 2 or 12 people. We also now have lots of experience dealing with each other and multiple attempts at significant-other additions. We’ve also come to conclusions that some things are easier if approached like companies handle staffing: creating schedules and assignments of tasks, which can always be adjusted and changed as needed.

So at this point we’re much more open to alternate options and arrangements for our family structure, and have a better grasp of the interpersonal needs that entails. Our main goal now is that a variety of needs and desires are met, and that all adults act like adults and remain considerate of the family as a whole when making significant decisions. If those decisions are likely to impact the family in a huge way (move, replace belongings, or decisions regarding educational or medical concerns) then the family should be consulted with a proposal before final decisions are made.

Informed consent is a mainstay of poly whether it’s in regards to sex, reproduction, or any familial life event. Furthermore, informed consent requires a certain level of communication skills. You may have a great idea, but if you can’t make your case well to those involved it’s likely to fall flat.

So those elements have become our biggest priorities.

Beyond that, previous relationships ended due to factors involving but not limited to: personality clashes, instability due to processing previous traumas, and a lack of commitment by one or multiple parties. So we have simplified our request to the Divine that: future partners have their own stuff figured out at least well enough to cause only more minor bumps, previous severe traumas have been healed likewise, and that all parties be willing to commit enough to work through remaining glitches. All relationships have bumps, bruises, and fights, but it’s the severity and willingness to work through them that enable the relationship to last. Everyone coming together to learn and grow and heal, leads to happy long lasting family.

Acceptance of our humanness, and unconditional love allows for infinite growth. To me that means that I might get mad or frustrated with someone, but as long as I can refocus and remember we’re all human and that I do love them, then I can work through the upset to find a solution. That is the place of understanding that I aim for everyone in my family to hold.

There are also factors like honesty, openness, truthfulness, cooperative attitudes, and open mindedness which would be very important.

Finally, I wish to add compromise. A mainstay of finding solutions is learning how to compromise. There is almost always an answer that everyone can live with. It may not be perfect in everyone’s opinion, but gets the job done. Finding those compromises is paramount to maintaining family cohesion, and adults wishing to be in my family need to demonstrate an ability to compromise.

In conclusion, my ideal of Polyamory has evolved over the last 15 years to be less about the fine details and more about overarching qualities that I wish for people to exhibit.

Not to be too cliche, but can’t we all just get along, and all you need is love, would be the more concise mentality.

May you all find your family based in love and acceptance, but which committedly works through compromise to ensure everyone just gets along.

With love, be well. Siva Hir Su.

Paradigm

That moment when you realize that you’ve been thinking about everything from a very specific viewpoint (your own life/culture/biases). Then realizing “What if that viewpoint is all wrong at worst, and equally positive/negative as any or the other viewpoint? ”

*POP*

I think my brain has exploded. 

No, not really.  I’d already come to a similar conclusion, that’s why I try to give Christians a pass on their over zealous natures at times. It’s not their fault I was traumatized by others claiming the same label.  That would be stereotyping. 

Besides a label never makes a person as a whole.  It’s the why, the behaviors the label supports, the elements of character defined by that label they choose, that counts. And, we all have numerous labels we choose in our lives. Some fit better than others depending on the moment,  the environment,  and our state of being in that moment. Labels are fluid, flexible, and inconstant, varying as needed. Though some labels may have  broader applications or last for longer periods, none last precisely as they are now for our entire lives.

So even the perpetrators of my traumas don’t exist now as they were when they caused said traumas. 

It’s allowed me to mostly forgive (still working on it in some ways),  to definitely learn from,  and use those things as catalyst for self-improvement (however slow). 

Yet,  I find myself redefining my work over and over again.  Every time I see my paradigm in new clarity,  new perspectives, I shift to a new paradigm and it results in new awareness. New righting to be done.

Today I realized that I was equating another system’s paradigm as problematic and hypothesizing how many traumatized people have come of it. When very clearly I remembered my own traumas. It seems my paradigm is no better,  and I’ve yet to completely break free from it.

I want to. I want to create better for my children,  for the rest of my life, my world.  If only I could see past the illusion in every moment. If only I could foresee the best possible outcome to enable better choices in each moment.

That sounds an awful lot like enlightenment and being of God. I think it’s what really all humans are  striving for at any given moment. So far though the only beings ever having been described as finding that ultimate state, left this earthly plane for good. Never to be seen or heard from again,  merely felt as energy: Buddha, Acchi, Osho, Jesus, and many other names.

Maybe I’m not quite ready to go to that level.  My kids would miss me. So I’ll settle for human imperfection for now: ask my loved ones for forgiveness,  and just simply do my best to see the illusion. Be loving (especially to myself), be kind,  and forgive those that hurt me in the past (because I did learn one way to not do something from them, so at least gratitude for the lesson). Now I must practice. 

Practice my own forgiveness, my own patience,  my own love,  my own kindness: for myself, for others,  and slowly shift my paradigm, to something better. 

Each shift a perceived improvement.  

Each shift an opportunity for forgiveness in many ways. 

Each shift another opportunity for learning  and growth.

New different paradigms to create and practice. 

Save the croaking for later…. way, way later.

For now yet another apology to deliver.