So this week I have come to terms with not being able to fix anything or change anyone, even myself. I have given it a good long hard effort for “paultry results” as Abraham would say. I simply can’t physically do it, and even mentally there are too many thought habbits that I have failed to change. I’m still trying, still meditating frequently, and Nathan reminded me that sometimes winning really looks like just not loosing.

It’s little consolation.

However, regardless of my ability to fix anything, I am still that opinionated out spoken brawd that is going to remind you later of your own failure, as it somehow makes me feel better about my own.

The one eating at me right now, for no aparent reason, is quick painless vs long painful. I can’t count the number of conversations that I have participated in with adults of all ages, even some minors, that all ask for the short/quick and painless death. Every single one of those conversations also acknowledging a belief in some greater power/God including a sentiment of praying for the desired outcome it when it’s their time to go.

Yet, Covid19 comes along and it’s like everyone has forgotten their request, suddenly petrified of the idea of a virus being that solution.

To me, God, and the universe, if you ask for short/quick and painless; what does it matter how that is accomplished? It doesn’t matter if it’s a car accident, heart attack, massive stroke, aneurysm, silent cancer, or virus. They all have the potential to fulfill the quick painless request.

If it’s your time, it’s your time.

Beyond that, your fear of the virus is telling the medical establishment that you are in favor of slow and painful. If you are one of the few that gets the virus and has severe complications (because it’s your time) and is hospitalized for it, they will put you on a ventilator and treat all the symptoms to the best of their ability. You’ve now taken what could have been a couple of days and turned it into potentially weeks of suffering before your exit. Because as I’ve said many times, if it’s your time and the doctors do manage to get you well, something else will come along for another possible solution for your exit. I’ve watched so many people get sick 2 or 3 times in a row before finally letting go and relaxing into the afterlife. Their potentially short quick painless death turned into weeks and weeks of suffering.

That’s just in relation to cyclical diseases like flu and pneumonia. Additionally, everyone with any long term condition, so overly concerned about Covid19, is saying the same thing to the medical establishment. If you have: cancer, lukemia, rheumatoid arthritis, dementia, diabetes, chrones, or any one of the many other severe diseases that we have no solid cure for, and you are petrified of Covid19, then your message is loud and clear: “I like living a long, painful life”. You are literally saying I don’t mind living for years with pain, inflammation, and my body attacking itself repeatedly; I would rather live that way, then have a measly little virus do me in and end all the pain.

It seems horribly messed up to me. I half wish I had been one of the lucky ones that got the quick exit, except I’m certain that mystery virus I had in February was Covid19 and was no worse for me than the flu. Those that were lucky enough to get the quick exit, got out of this mess we now call life and are probably in the ethers laughing hysterically at everyone that is living in fear.

Beyond that, I’m still super annoyed that this virus still has any airtime at all. There are dozens of long term problems in our world that have far worse death tolls than Covid19. Poor water quality, lack of sanitization of any kind for vast portions of our world, lack of indoor plumbing causing disease to spread through improper human waste management, poverty, lack of proper healthcare for easily cured diseases like salmonella, lack of access for all to said proper healthcare even when it does exist, homes that don’t protect people from the elements, homelessness, nutritionally deficient children worldwide (even/especially in the oh-so-great USA), nutritionally deficient people in general, starvation, and yes even global warming (if we don’t solve that, the whole world will eventually suffer and die).

All of these things are continuous problems that we have solutions for, yet continuously fail to implement said solutions because of big dollars. Yet big business, especially big pharma, have no problem making money off all your scared asses because of a measly virus. If we stood up for what is right and just, and sucked up our own stupid fears, the money being made off of Covid19 could become money used to solve any number of the other long term problems we have the knowledge to solve. If you invested the money you waste on doctors and ineffective vaccines on Charitywater.org you would give 10 families clean water for their lifetime. If you invested the money you have wasted on not-cures there could be charity waste programs. If you invested the money you dump on the junk filled foods that cause all the long-term incurable diseases, you could help people get access to antibiotics for actual curable diseases, and might spare yourself more food-disease suffering.

But that is just another one of my half-baked cock-eyed wishful-thinking dreams. My dreams will never exist in my lifetime. Humanity is too dumb to get it, or too lazy to really care about real solutions.

May you have attainable dreams. May you have more faith in humanity. May you believe in yourself and others. May real solutions be found and worked on in meaningful ways. May you see your place on this Earth and make strides for living your best most helpful life. May your words matter and help people to stop, think, and change patterns for better results. May we all work towards better living for everyone. May we feel God’s grace and know we are doing our best to be of assistance to the divine.

Siva Hir Su

Just so I’m not completely ranty, I’ll end with a funny from the Waldo Facebook Group that Nathan shared with me via email… You know since I still boycott Facebook myself.

Repost… to clear up any confusion
The Rules:
1. Basically, you can’t leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.
2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.
3. Stores are closed, except those that are open.
4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.
5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.
6. Gloves won’t help, but they can still help.
7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it’s important to GO OUT.
8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.
9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.
10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…
11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, my..
12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it’s better not to go out, well, but no…
13. It’s better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don’t go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).
14. You can’t go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.
15. If you are sick, you can’t go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.
16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn’t wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?
17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with ” I don’t want to trigger panic, but…”
18. You can’t see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.
19. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don’t live under the same roof.
20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.
21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn’t say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.
22. The virus stays in the air – well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.
23. We count the number of deaths but we don’t know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were “almost dead” to find out if that’s what they will die of…
24. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications). Orange man bad.
25. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that?